General Fan Fiction Thread

Any general discussion regarding fan-created works of the Dragon Ball franchise, including AMVs, fan-art, fan-fiction, etc.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sat Mar 10, 2018 10:25 am

ekrolo2 wrote:
Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:How do you guys deal with needing to rewrite entire chunks of your fics from scratch.
You don't. Being a perfectionist never pays off.
Yeah, I'm agreeing with you there, that mentality has really killed my interest in doing a certain story.
I think it's fine if you get a brand new idea mid-story and want to go back and write it in sooner so it doesn't feel forced later, or even just go back and rewrite a part you thought was a bit sloppily done. But rewriting the same part over and over again because it doesn't approach the vision in your head isn't the best mentality to go about things. Sometimes you just gotta acknowledge you don't have either the talent or the disposition to write it exactly as how you envision it.

So take a page out of Toriyama's book and wing it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 3:08 pm

Does anyone have ideas to make Black's scythe portal thing seem less of a bullshit asspull?
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:41 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:Does anyone have ideas to make Black's scythe portal thing seem less of a bullshit asspull?
It's essentially just a better version of Super Boo's and Gotenks' screams to break out of the ROSAT, only it also affects time. So I guess you can break the time ring and it causes some bullshit with his powers since it's attached to him (or, alternatively, because Black's existence is a paradox, once the time ring is broken, he becomes a being outside of time or some nonsense). As long as you set-up the possibility of the time ring being destroyed screwing up with time in some way beforehand, it's cool.

As for the clones, which the series never explained, you can say they're possible alternate versions of himself. As in, they don't actually exist because time/history never went there, but they could, which is what matters. They're bound to the time ring (which is why they don't have a personality).

But you hate time travel, so I'd just suggest cutting it out entirely :lol:

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Helios518 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:58 pm

Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:Does anyone have ideas to make Black's scythe portal thing seem less of a bullshit asspull?
It's essentially just a better version of Super Boo's and Gotenks' screams to break out of the ROSAT, only it also affects time. So I guess you can break the time ring and it causes some bullshit with his powers since it's attached to him (or, alternatively, because Black's existence is a paradox, once the time ring is broken, he becomes a being outside of time or some nonsense). As long as you set-up the possibility of the time ring being destroyed screwing up with time in some way beforehand, it's cool.

As for the clones, which the series never explained, you can say they're possible alternate versions of himself. As in, they don't actually exist because time/history never went there, but they could, which is what matters. They're bound to the time ring (which is why they don't have a personality).

But you hate time travel, so I'd just suggest cutting it out entirely :lol:
This idea is cool but there's nothing really saying it affects time. It could be just be like what you said "a better version of Gotenks' scream" but just weaponized to create clones.
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:02 pm

Helios518 wrote:This idea is cool but there's nothing really saying it affects time. It could be just be like what you said "a better version of Gotenks' scream" but just weaponized to create clones.
Well, Black ponders whether it's the "past or future" so I was just building on that.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:03 pm

Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:Does anyone have ideas to make Black's scythe portal thing seem less of a bullshit asspull?
It's essentially just a better version of Super Boo's and Gotenks' screams to break out of the ROSAT, only it also affects time. So I guess you can break the time ring and it causes some bullshit with his powers since it's attached to him (or, alternatively, because Black's existence is a paradox, once the time ring is broken, he becomes a being outside of time or some nonsense). As long as you set-up the possibility of the time ring being destroyed screwing up with time in some way beforehand, it's cool.

As for the clones, which the series never explained, you can say they're possible alternate versions of himself. As in, they don't actually exist because time/history never went there, but they could, which is what matters. They're bound to the time ring (which is why they don't have a personality).

But you hate time travel, so I'd just suggest cutting it out entirely :lol:
Yeah, I'm probably just gonna cut it. In my version, I'm using the idea that Trunks traveling back in time splits the timeline wherein one version he arrives to warn about Black while creating another where Black comes into existence without interruptions.

Breaking the Time Ring just makes a whole can of worms I do not want to deal with.
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:10 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:Yeah, I'm probably just gonna cut it. In my version, I'm using the idea that Trunks traveling back in time splits the timeline wherein one version he arrives to warn about Black while creating another where Black comes into existence without interruptions.

Breaking the Time Ring just makes a whole can of worms I do not want to deal with.
Yeah, that's for the best, and consistent with the way time travel was written in the original series.

If I could make one suggestion (since I'm never gonna get to writing my version of the Black arc), maybe you could have present Zamasu turn good. Three different Zamasus offer three different perspectives on a way a character could be developed (four if you count fusion Zamasu). Having present Zamasu, who's still in his phase of indecisiveness, turn good, whilst the 'original' Zamasu, Black, turning evil because he didn't have the right guidance; that could be interesting. It would actually be a good way to play off of Goku's argument for not killing Gero back in the Cell arc, of him not doing anything; imagine if everyone starts blaming Zamasu for what he believes to be no reason, I'm sure you could build something compelling out of that.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:27 pm

Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:Yeah, I'm probably just gonna cut it. In my version, I'm using the idea that Trunks traveling back in time splits the timeline wherein one version he arrives to warn about Black while creating another where Black comes into existence without interruptions.

Breaking the Time Ring just makes a whole can of worms I do not want to deal with.
Yeah, that's for the best, and consistent with the way time travel was written in the original series.

If I could make one suggestion (since I'm never gonna get to writing my version of the Black arc), maybe you could have present Zamasu turn good. Three different Zamasus offer three different perspectives on a way a character could be developed (four if you count fusion Zamasu). Having present Zamasu, who's still in his phase of indecisiveness, turn good, whilst the 'original' Zamasu, Black, turning evil because he didn't have the right guidance; that could be interesting. It would actually be a good way to play off of Goku's argument for not killing Gero back in the Cell arc, of him not doing anything; imagine if everyone starts blaming Zamasu for what he believes to be no reason, I'm sure you could build something compelling out of that.
Yeah, I intend to make present Zamasu the good guy while Black is well, Black, Future Zamasu I'd like to characterize as a more well-intentioned extremist, a guy who looks at all this death and destruction as a genuinely unfortunate but necessary thing to do rather than just diet Black.
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Kanassa » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:29 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:Breaking the Time Ring just makes a whole can of worms I do not want to deal with.
Welp, I'll be dealing with that since that's gonna be my solution to how the protags of my story beats a Paradox Monster and heal time...
Yeah, I intend to make present Zamasu the good guy while Black is well, Black, Future Zamasu I'd like to characterize as a more well-intentioned extremist, a guy who looks at all this death and destruction as a genuinely unfortunate but necessary thing to do rather than just diet Black.
I'd say no to making Zamasu more of a good guy, at least future Zamasu; instead, have present Zamasu meet Future Zamasu and end up disgusted with what he's become.
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:33 pm

Kanassa wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:Breaking the Time Ring just makes a whole can of worms I do not want to deal with.
Welp, I'll be dealing with that since that's gonna be my solution to how the protags of my story beats a Paradox Monster and heal time...
Yeah, I intend to make present Zamasu the good guy while Black is well, Black, Future Zamasu I'd like to characterize as a more well-intentioned extremist, a guy who looks at all this death and destruction as a genuinely unfortunate but necessary thing to do rather than just diet Black.
I'd say no to making Zamasu more of a good guy, at least future Zamasu; instead, have present Zamasu meet Future Zamasu and end up disgusted with what he's become.
Future Zamasu, I feel, needs another shtick if he's gonna justify being there. He's not combatively actually useful and if you want to go the route of a good present Zamasu being disgusted by someone, Black fits the bill already. Hence why I think Future Zamasu needs to get reworked or axed entirely.

Oh and the arc should most definitely happen after the Universe Survival arc, it's really stupid to have Zamasu steal the body of the ultimate mortal when there are several people around who can murder the shit out of his Goku's abilities. Having him body snatch a post mastered UI Goku way more sense.
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:40 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:
Kanassa wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:Breaking the Time Ring just makes a whole can of worms I do not want to deal with.
Welp, I'll be dealing with that since that's gonna be my solution to how the protags of my story beats a Paradox Monster and heal time...
Yeah, I intend to make present Zamasu the good guy while Black is well, Black, Future Zamasu I'd like to characterize as a more well-intentioned extremist, a guy who looks at all this death and destruction as a genuinely unfortunate but necessary thing to do rather than just diet Black.
I'd say no to making Zamasu more of a good guy, at least future Zamasu; instead, have present Zamasu meet Future Zamasu and end up disgusted with what he's become.
Future Zamasu, I feel, needs another shtick if he's gonna justify being there. He's not combatively actually useful and if you want to go the route of a good present Zamasu being disgusted by someone, Black fits the bill already. Hence why I think Future Zamasu needs to get reworked or axed entirely.

Oh and the arc should most definitely happen after the Universe Survival arc, it's really stupid to have Zamasu steal the body of the ultimate mortal when there are several people around who can murder the shit out of his Goku's abilities. Having him body snatch a post mastered UI Goku way more sense.
Can't really axe future Zamasu though, or else someone will inevitably ask what happened to the future counterpart in Trunks' timeline.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:42 pm

Doctor. wrote:Can't really axe future Zamasu though, or else someone will inevitably ask what happened to the future counterpart in Trunks' timeline.
You could have him reject Black's offer, call him a psycho and get killed for it :P
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Kanassa » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:52 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:
Doctor. wrote:Can't really axe future Zamasu though, or else someone will inevitably ask what happened to the future counterpart in Trunks' timeline.
You could have him reject Black's offer, call him a psycho and get killed for it :P
That would make no sense and ruin Black's character.
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:53 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:
Doctor. wrote:Can't really axe future Zamasu though, or else someone will inevitably ask what happened to the future counterpart in Trunks' timeline.
You could have him reject Black's offer, call him a psycho and get killed for it :P
Seems like a waste, plus kinda weird that a Zamasu with 17 years of more knowledge would just reject Black that hard.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:58 pm

Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:
Doctor. wrote:Can't really axe future Zamasu though, or else someone will inevitably ask what happened to the future counterpart in Trunks' timeline.
You could have him reject Black's offer, call him a psycho and get killed for it :P
Seems like a waste, plus kinda weird that a Zamasu with 17 years of more knowledge would just reject Black that hard.
Yeah, those are good points. I guess the issue is that I don't see a practical reason for Black needing a partner. It's not like Zamasu's immortality is something Black couldn't wish for himself instead. The only way to possibly make him worthwhile is to make him a body snatcher too from a practical standpoint. Maybe have Black take Goku while Future Zamasu gets Jiren so their bases are covered?
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:04 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:
Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote: You could have him reject Black's offer, call him a psycho and get killed for it :P
Seems like a waste, plus kinda weird that a Zamasu with 17 years of more knowledge would just reject Black that hard.
Yeah, those are good points. I guess the issue is that I don't see a practical reason for Black needing a partner. It's not like Zamasu's immortality is something Black couldn't wish for himself instead. The only way to possibly make him worthwhile is to make him a body snatcher too from a practical standpoint. Maybe have Black take Goku while Future Zamasu gets Jiren so their bases are covered?
Well, Black in the show already gave an excuse as to why he didn't wish for immortality. He wanted to get stronger via pain. Just handwave it with his Saiyan instincts. Future Zamasu could be present for two reasons. 1. ethically, I'm sure Black wouldn't like the idea of having another Zamasu existing who didn't know what the hell was happening. 2. practically, future Zamasu is a fail-safe, considering he's immortal and has access to a time ring. In case Black fucks up hard with something, Zamasu could just go back in time and fix everything. Plus his healing powers would help in the fight (I'm assuming you're gonna cherrypick elements from the anime and the manga, hence why I mentioned them).

I think the better question is why Black would choose Trunks' timeline if he already has UI Goku's body at this point. In the show, it was because Beerus was dead. Here, he wouldn't have to fear Beerus. Unless he still can't access all of Goku's transformations from the get-go as well.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:19 pm

Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:
Doctor. wrote: Seems like a waste, plus kinda weird that a Zamasu with 17 years of more knowledge would just reject Black that hard.
Yeah, those are good points. I guess the issue is that I don't see a practical reason for Black needing a partner. It's not like Zamasu's immortality is something Black couldn't wish for himself instead. The only way to possibly make him worthwhile is to make him a body snatcher too from a practical standpoint. Maybe have Black take Goku while Future Zamasu gets Jiren so their bases are covered?
Well, Black in the show already gave an excuse as to why he didn't wish for immortality. He wanted to get stronger via pain. Just handwave it with his Saiyan instincts. Future Zamasu could be present for two reasons. 1. ethically, I'm sure Black wouldn't like the idea of having another Zamasu existing who didn't know what the hell was happening. 2. practically, future Zamasu is a fail-safe, considering he's immortal and has access to a time ring. In case Black fucks up hard with something, Zamasu could just go back in time and fix everything. Plus his healing powers would help in the fight (I'm assuming you're gonna cherrypick elements from the anime and the manga, hence why I mentioned them).

I think the better question is why Black would choose Trunks' timeline if he already has UI Goku's body at this point. In the show, it was because Beerus was dead. Here, he wouldn't have to fear Beerus. Unless he still can't access all of Goku's transformations from the get-go as well.
One idea I had for Future Zamasu is that Black and him aren't just killing people, they're harvesting their power to gather enough energy to create the most powerful Dragon Balls of all time, think how Majin people gathered ki to revive Boo. Dragon Balls powerful enough to switch Zeno's power with that of a "pure" version of Zamasu who wasn't tainted by mortals the way Black was. Black would try to switch with Zeno, then Grand Priest, then an Angel only to realize they're too powerful for that too work, so he settles on Goku who's the one he hates most but also the one the Super DBs can still work on.
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:24 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:
Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote: Yeah, those are good points. I guess the issue is that I don't see a practical reason for Black needing a partner. It's not like Zamasu's immortality is something Black couldn't wish for himself instead. The only way to possibly make him worthwhile is to make him a body snatcher too from a practical standpoint. Maybe have Black take Goku while Future Zamasu gets Jiren so their bases are covered?
Well, Black in the show already gave an excuse as to why he didn't wish for immortality. He wanted to get stronger via pain. Just handwave it with his Saiyan instincts. Future Zamasu could be present for two reasons. 1. ethically, I'm sure Black wouldn't like the idea of having another Zamasu existing who didn't know what the hell was happening. 2. practically, future Zamasu is a fail-safe, considering he's immortal and has access to a time ring. In case Black fucks up hard with something, Zamasu could just go back in time and fix everything. Plus his healing powers would help in the fight (I'm assuming you're gonna cherrypick elements from the anime and the manga, hence why I mentioned them).

I think the better question is why Black would choose Trunks' timeline if he already has UI Goku's body at this point. In the show, it was because Beerus was dead. Here, he wouldn't have to fear Beerus. Unless he still can't access all of Goku's transformations from the get-go as well.
One idea I had for Future Zamasu is that Black and him aren't just killing people, they're harvesting their power to gather enough energy to create the most powerful Dragon Balls of all time, think how Majin people gathered ki to revive Boo. Dragon Balls powerful enough to switch Zeno's power with that of a "pure" version of Zamasu who wasn't tainted by mortals the way Black was. Black would try to switch with Zeno, then Grand Priest, then an Angel only to realize they're too powerful for that too work, so he settles on Goku who's the one he hates most but also the one the Super DBs can still work on.
Sounds a bit convoluted imo, but I guess it could work depending on the execution.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Tian » Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:34 am

Here are some new ideas for my Ginyu Force Boy Band fic :
• The story will start with Freeza meeting King Cold in Frozen Records with the latter telling Freeza that he doesn't get a musical hit in one month, Freeza must give up his empire.
• Cooler and his Armored Squadron will be in this story. The Armored Squadron will be adapted as the Cool Boyz.
They will be the primary antagonists.
• Appule, Cui and Raspberry will be here too for...comedic reasons.
• No Goku nor Z Warriors here...sorry but I don't see how they fit in this space adventure about friendship and music.

And here some ideas that I'm still deciding to add in the story :
• Swearing. I am not sure whether make the characters swear or not.
• Write the songs. I'm not a songwriter but I don't want the reader to read generic action lines like this "They sang and sang" and feel bored. Perhaps copypasting "Tokusentai" lyrics will work (I think).
• Bardock, Broly, King Vegeta, Paragus and Turles. I'm still deciding what these guys are gonna do.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 8:40 pm

I've recently reached the near end of my sequel to Yamcha & Ox-King Save The World, this time with Gohan & Piccolo as the main guys and I've hit a bit of a snag when it comes to the climax, I could use help figuring out which direction to go with.

[spoiler]The status: Zamasu has been sealed away in the Mafuba, the good guys are being beaten down by Black and they need to pull off a crazy stunt to finally kill him after a long, tiring fight with him. Gohan is the one trying to come up with something with the help of Kibito who went instead of Kaioshin into the future.

Ending 1 - The Fanservice One: Kibito, who was previously grievously injured by Black, tells Gohan of the Potara earrings and how they can fuse two people together, making them an incredible fighter. The problem? Black's the only one with a working set left, Kibito's were destroyed and there's nothing left of Gowasu after Black sneak attacked him.

Gohan decides that they need that to win and telepathically contacts his father. Goku uses the Kaio-Ken Blue on Black and while the body snatcher is letting Goku wail on him to power himself up, he snatches Black's Potara away and tosses them to Gohan and Trunks. They become Gohanks and kill Black in a similar vein to what Gogeta does to Janemba in Movie 12.

Ending 2 - The "Clever" One - Gohan, while thinking of ways to win, remembers that Bulma came into the future with the microbands and that Kibito can teleport anywhere. So, while Goku, Trunks and Vegeta are trying not to die vs Black, Gohan and Kibito teleport to Bulma and borrow the microbands, teleporting inside of Black's body.

While the body snatcher finally beats everyone down and gets ready for the finishing blow, he suddenly starts vomiting and his power drops something fierce. Then, the dirty duo of Kibito and Gohan appear next to him, revealing their scheme and how they blew up his stomach from the inside out. Black tries to use what power he has left to get away only for Trunks to cut him through with his sword.[/spoiler]
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