General Fan Fiction Thread

[Kanassa]

The world seems like a brighter place now that I know this is an actual thing that exists

We have entire lessons dedicated to trying to get a specific reaction from our 'readers' sometimes. Whether, make them cringe, make them cry, make them aww, or make the go ''...THe fuck?"

Damn, I wish I had something like that over here but writing rooms meant to teach you aren't much of a thing over here in Croatia.

Welp, I'll count myself lucky then. It's a college course, don't know how it works in other countries. And as horrible as it sounds, one of the keystones of writing is knowing how to manipulate your readers.

[ekrolo2]

Welp, I'll count myself lucky then. It's a college course, don't know how it works in other countries. And as horrible as it sounds, one of the keystones of writing is knowing how to manipulate your readers.

You gotta manipulate them effectively, that's how you get more money out of them

[Kanassa]

Welp, I'll count myself lucky then. It's a college course, don't know how it works in other countries. And as horrible as it sounds, one of the keystones of writing is knowing how to manipulate your readers.

You gotta manipulate them effectively, that's how you get more money out of them

That's literally what we're told
"It's your passion, your hobby, but at te end of the day, it's also your job"

[TheUltimateNinja]

If you were to rework the battle power system, how would you go about doing it?

[ekrolo2]

If you were to rework the battle power system, how would you go about doing it?

I've never put much thought into it but one thing that always stuck out to me is how tiny of a gap can make a massive difference. Like Vegeta vs Dodoria, there's only a 2000 difference in power but Vegeta can effortlessly stomp him. I would change that to only being do-able if someone is at least 40-50% stronger than you with anything pre-40% varying degrees of difficult but not impossible for the inferior party.

Does changing the SS system count for this? Cause I'd change that around too.

[Doctor.]

If you were to rework the battle power system, how would you go about doing it?

Just dial down the numbers a ton and make it clear that overwhelming strength isn't everything in a battle (as much as Dragon Ball wants to make you believe that through its dialogue, its battles show the complete opposite). Make it so the number displayed is an average of every attribute and isn't the be-all end-all of someone's fighting ability (for instance, you can have fighter A and fighter B both with a power of 300, but fighter A is faster and thus has an advantage).

Here's a challenge: how would one go about rewriting EoB into something that isn't complete garbage whilst keeping the essential plot points intact (time travel, Super Saiyan)?

[TheUltimateNinja]

If you were to rework the battle power system, how would you go about doing it?

I've never put much thought into it but one thing that always stuck out to me is how tiny of a gap can make a massive difference. Like Vegeta vs Dodoria, there's only a 2000 difference in power but Vegeta can effortlessly stomp him. I would change that to only being do-able if someone is at least 40-50% stronger than you with anything pre-40% varying degrees of difficult but not impossible for the inferior party.

Does changing the SS system count for this? Cause I'd change that around too.

You want to change the SSJ system? What changes do you propose?

[ekrolo2]

If you were to rework the battle power system, how would you go about doing it?

I've never put much thought into it but one thing that always stuck out to me is how tiny of a gap can make a massive difference. Like Vegeta vs Dodoria, there's only a 2000 difference in power but Vegeta can effortlessly stomp him. I would change that to only being do-able if someone is at least 40-50% stronger than you with anything pre-40% varying degrees of difficult but not impossible for the inferior party.

Does changing the SS system count for this? Cause I'd change that around too.

You want to change the SSJ system? What changes do you propose?

I probably talked about this before but here's what I have in mind:

Goku > SS >> Mastered SS >>> KK + SS (Kaio-Ken wouldn't go over 3-4 at most)

Instead of getting the grade states or SS2 and 3, Goku would master SS better than everyone else and use KK to increase his power.

Gohan > Just gets stronger in Base

Instead of having transformations, Gohan would only have his Base form but increase it's power to SS levels of power and eventually beyond with his upper ceiling being his Ultimate strength level.

Vegeta > SS >> Power Stressed SS (or our version of SS3)

He would get the basic SS and his stronger variant would be comparable to our SS3. Meaning it gives him a massive boost in power but the ki consumption is crazy. It fits Vegeta's "power above all else" mentality.

Future Trunks > SS >> Ascended SS (or our version of SS2)

He'd get the regular SS and his greater form would function like our regular SS2, it doesn't give as much of a boost as say Vegeta's upper level or Goku's SS + KK but it's the most balanced form, giving a good deal of more power without sacrificing energy or speed.

Goten & Kid Trunks > SS >> Fusion >>> SS + Fusion

Basically like regular canon, they can't get upper SS levels, instead they'd use fusion then SS with fusion to power themselves up to fight more powerful opponents.

[Gog]

Here's a challenge: how would one go about rewriting EoB into something that isn't complete garbage whilst keeping the essential plot points intact (time travel, Super Saiyan)?

How does this sound?

[spoiler]Bardock wakes up, on a bustling metropolis, wondering where he is, he decides to wipe the city out.

On another planet Chilled, with an entourage of his men are collecting some taxes from one of his planets. After one of his men inform him that one of his cities have been wiped out, Chilled panics and sends some of his men to quickly wipe out the person who committed the act, so that none of the other planets would find out about the act and panic.

A day passes, as the ship is an old model.

Bardock now having wiped out the planet wonders how he got here. The men arrive and Bardock wonders who they are, the men tell him that they are from Baron Chilled, and the special forces of section 1-23-D. Bardock is in disbelief that he's in the smallest section of Freeza's empire. The men tell him that the mighty Baron Chilled rules these lands.

Bardock and Chilled's forces battle and Bardock barely prevails against them. He finds the ship and marvels at how old it is. He finds out there's a healing pod to his relief, however it is an old version to his annoyance.

Chilled is on his capital planet, doing the necessary paper work required to have a paying customer and his species inhabit another planet. A solider barges in and informs him that the soldiers that he had sent to kill the man who destroyed the city are know dead, along with the planet itself.

Chilled becomes petrified at the thought of what his family would do to him if they found out that he couldn't properly rule this tiny strip of space. The solider seeing his reaction asks him what's wrong and Chilled tells him about his family, and how even though he may be amazing, he is nothing compared to them, he jokes that if he could transform like in the heroes in the tales of old, then there would be no need to fear his family. He finally decides to send his best soldiers, the Pie Squad.

The solider asks why he does not simply do the paper work himself, and Chilled tells that he has to do this work, otherwise the race would complain, if the race complains, then his family finds out.

Bardock having been completely healed by the old model healing pod, marvels at his strength and considers himself to be a Super Saiyan. The Pie squad lands and completely and utterly crush the empowered Bardock, they also mock and humiliate him as well.

Bardock turns into the Super Saiyan from the thought of dying on this planet, forgotten and a joke. He brutally murders the Pie Squad. Bardock relishes the might and promises that after he heals in the healing pod, he will go after Chilled next.

Four hours later

Chilled's blood runs cold upon hearing that the Pie Squad has been killed, and upon completing every task he had to do. Finally decides that he has to go and kill the man who committed the deeds. He takes the fastest ship on the planet, only reserved for himself, and sets out.

Chilled finally lands on the planet, upon seeing the devastation, he realizes that after the battle he will have to render the cities unrecognizable, depose of the bodies, and remove any trace of the planets name from any database. If he wants to sell off the planet, save his name and make sure his family doesn't find out.

He tracks the ship and finds Bardock outside relaxing, Bardock notices him, and tells him he's exactly like Freeza and he'll enjoy this. He turns Super Saiyan and starts torturing Chilled. Chilled driven mad by fear and pain ascends to the second form, exaggerating his wounds, he rips Bardock apart. Bardock dies. Chilled dies soon after due to the wounds Bardock inflicted on him while he was in his true form.

Cut to a year in the future and a new Arcosian ruler has been selected for the small strip of space, Coola[/spoiler]

[Kanassa]

Here's a challenge: how would one go about rewriting EoB into something that isn't complete garbage whilst keeping the essential plot points intact (time travel, Super Saiyan)?

My idea would be that Bardock goes through a mini Vegeta-esc arc, it starts with him still as a savage badass, fighting Chilled and such; but he loses yet again. So, he decides to train by conquering a few planets. Basically, the story would go on to have him sow the seeds of his own downfall as his lust for revenge on the closest thing he has to Frieza pushes him to the point where he almost slaughters the entire Saiyan race. Not fully fleshed out, but I imagine a scene in the end with Chilled doing Frieza's supernova and one of two things happen:

Bardock goes Super Saiyan after flashing back to the explosion of Vegeta, screaming "No... NOT THIS TIME!"

Bardock triggers another Saiyan to ascend and start the legend, either this be by dying pushing back the Supernova, or by being the one who caused Chilled to kill said Saiyan's loved ones. Making them more savage like usual Saiyans (Basically, have Bardock be the cause of the Saiyans being assholes and ultimately for their eventual destruction just to kick him in the nuts).

Either way, it would always end in his death.

[Nejishiki]

Here's a challenge: how would one go about rewriting EoB into something that isn't complete garbage whilst keeping the essential plot points intact (time travel, Super Saiyan)?

I only need to keep two elements? Mira rescues Bardock to "raise" him into a Super Saiyan. His mind is placed within a war-torn Saiyan city during conversion. Eventually, a Freeza-like figure appears to hasten the transformation. Bardock is incapable of manipulating Super Saiyan's strain, dying in "reality" as the mental conflict remains unresolved.

[ekrolo2]

Here's a challenge: how would one go about rewriting EoB into something that isn't complete garbage whilst keeping the essential plot points intact (time travel, Super Saiyan)?

It can't be done.

[Gog]

Here's a challenge: how would one go about rewriting EoB into something that isn't complete garbage whilst keeping the essential plot points intact (time travel, Super Saiyan)?

It can't be done.

I beg to differ...

[ekrolo2]

Here's a challenge: how would one go about rewriting EoB into something that isn't complete garbage whilst keeping the essential plot points intact (time travel, Super Saiyan)?

It can't be done.

I beg to differ...

Okay, I think it can possibly be done but as a short character piece with no grandeur or Chilled. I actually think a sort of Samurai Jack approach could work with Bardock gradually losing his mind at how he failed to save his race, how he's trapped in the past but keeps being plagued by visions of the future IE his present and then destroying himself and the original Saiyan homeworld, inadvertently setting them up for their future genocide at Freeza's hands.

I don't think you even need to make him a Super Saiyan necessarily, he'd be a LOT more powerful than any Saiyan in the past at 10k and with Oozaru and whatever Zenkai he'd get from healing, he can easily be considered a "Super Saiyan" without actually turning into one. Vegeta doesn't even think its a transformed state, just a really powerful Saiyan fighter.

[Gog]

It can't be done.

I beg to differ...

Okay, I think it can possibly be done but as a short character piece with no grandeur or Chilled. I actually think a sort of Samurai Jack approach could work with Bardock gradually losing his mind at how he failed to save his race, how he's trapped in the past but keeps being plagued by visions of the future IE his present and then destroying himself and the original Saiyan homeworld, inadvertently setting them up for their future genocide at Freeza's hands.

I don't think you even need to make him a Super Saiyan necessarily, he'd be a LOT more powerful than any Saiyan in the past at 10k and with Oozaru and whatever Zenkai he'd get from healing, he can easily be considered a "Super Saiyan" without actually turning into one. Vegeta doesn't even think its a transformed state, just a really powerful Saiyan fighter.

I enjoy this idea, actually now that I think about it, what do you think of the idea's for how you make EOB good presented in the thread? Also what do you think of my idea?

[ekrolo2]

I beg to differ...

Okay, I think it can possibly be done but as a short character piece with no grandeur or Chilled. I actually think a sort of Samurai Jack approach could work with Bardock gradually losing his mind at how he failed to save his race, how he's trapped in the past but keeps being plagued by visions of the future IE his present and then destroying himself and the original Saiyan homeworld, inadvertently setting them up for their future genocide at Freeza's hands.

I don't think you even need to make him a Super Saiyan necessarily, he'd be a LOT more powerful than any Saiyan in the past at 10k and with Oozaru and whatever Zenkai he'd get from healing, he can easily be considered a "Super Saiyan" without actually turning into one. Vegeta doesn't even think its a transformed state, just a really powerful Saiyan fighter.

I enjoy this idea, actually now that I think about it, what do you think of the idea's for how you make EOB good presented in the thread? Also what do you think of my idea?

You keep Bardock an evil bastard which is a massive improvement over the actual EOB but I really don't like the idea of Freeza's family fearing the SS because they fought him, maybe, at some point in history.

[Gog]

Okay, I think it can possibly be done but as a short character piece with no grandeur or Chilled. I actually think a sort of Samurai Jack approach could work with Bardock gradually losing his mind at how he failed to save his race, how he's trapped in the past but keeps being plagued by visions of the future IE his present and then destroying himself and the original Saiyan homeworld, inadvertently setting them up for their future genocide at Freeza's hands.

I don't think you even need to make him a Super Saiyan necessarily, he'd be a LOT more powerful than any Saiyan in the past at 10k and with Oozaru and whatever Zenkai he'd get from healing, he can easily be considered a "Super Saiyan" without actually turning into one. Vegeta doesn't even think its a transformed state, just a really powerful Saiyan fighter.

I enjoy this idea, actually now that I think about it, what do you think of the idea's for how you make EOB good presented in the thread? Also what do you think of my idea?

You keep Bardock an evil bastard which is a massive improvement over the actual EOB but I really don't like the idea of Freeza's family fearing the SS because they fought him, maybe, at some point in history.

I'm actually disappointed that being a massive improvement over EOB includes keeping Bardock in character. Anyway Freeza's family don't even know of Bardock and the legendary Super Saiyan at this time, Chilled was the only one who ever fought him, and he died after ascending to the second form. Honestly Bardock and Chilled both die forgotten and for Chilled a joke in the eyes of his family.

[ekrolo2]

I enjoy this idea, actually now that I think about it, what do you think of the idea's for how you make EOB good presented in the thread? Also what do you think of my idea?

You keep Bardock an evil bastard which is a massive improvement over the actual EOB but I really don't like the idea of Freeza's family fearing the SS because they fought him, maybe, at some point in history.

I'm actually disappointed that being a massive improvement over EOB includes keeping Bardock in character. Anyway Freeza's family don't even know of Bardock and the legendary Super Saiyan at this time, Chilled was the only one who ever fought him, and he died after ascending to the second form. Honestly Bardock and Chilled both die forgotten and for Chilled a joke in the eyes of his family.

Making Bardock a hero was a moronic move, especially since Vegeta established that a powerful shit head can become an SS.

I mean, making a Bardock special sequel is gonna be problematic no matter what but EoB really went too far with wanking him. I think there are 3 core principles you need to adheer to: keep Bardock a bastard, keep his own failures the cause of his failure and don't make him too important. The last one is nigh impossible if he HAS to become the OG SS.

[ekrolo2]

How do you guys imagine Saiyan society is like in U6? Stuff like the architecture I mean.

[Kanassa]

How do you guys imagine Saiyan society is like in U6? Stuff like the architecture I mean.

I'm guessing the shit with the Tuffles went much more smoothly for these more peaceful Saiyans, so they'd look more like Tuffle cities maybe. As well as more plan life, from what I remember, Planet Vegeta always looked like a giant purple-ish wasteland with a city on it.