General Fan Fiction Thread

Any general discussion regarding fan-created works of the Dragon Ball franchise, including AMVs, fan-art, fan-fiction, etc.

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Jackalope89
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Jackalope89 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 12:41 am

ekrolo2 wrote:So, who's already making plans to fix fic the Prison Planet Arc :P
Eh, I didn't think it was bad, for a promotional anime. Only think I would have done was make it a bit longer for more time for interactions.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by TheGodfather93 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:57 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:So, who's already making plans to fix fic the Prison Planet Arc :P
It's a no from me.

I already dislike Heroes enough as is.
If you have the time and are interested, please consider checking out my fanfiction account at https://www.fanfiction.net/~thegodfather93

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by FoolsGil » Mon Jul 02, 2018 2:29 pm

The idea of a prison planet isn't a bad idea. Consider Vegeta never answered for his crimes. And then some guy who only goes by The Warden shows up to capture Vegeta, succeeds, and now Goku and others have to get him out of there. Goku isn't a hero, but circumstances had him fight villains outside of tournaments. Now he's taking on actual heroes.

This, is something I would like to see or read. That's how you remake Prison Planet.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by TheGodfather93 » Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:26 am

FoolsGil wrote:The idea of a prison planet isn't a bad idea. Consider Vegeta never answered for his crimes. And then some guy who only goes by The Warden shows up to capture Vegeta, succeeds, and now Goku and others have to get him out of there. Goku isn't a hero, but circumstances had him fight villains outside of tournaments. Now he's taking on actual heroes.

This, is something I would like to see or read. That's how you remake Prison Planet.
There's a pretty popular fanfic that seems to explore a similar concept. I haven't read it though, so I don't know how good it is.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9901820/1/ ... A-Good-Man
If you have the time and are interested, please consider checking out my fanfiction account at https://www.fanfiction.net/~thegodfather93

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by FoolsGil » Tue Jul 03, 2018 6:58 am

TheGodfather93 wrote:
FoolsGil wrote:The idea of a prison planet isn't a bad idea. Consider Vegeta never answered for his crimes. And then some guy who only goes by The Warden shows up to capture Vegeta, succeeds, and now Goku and others have to get him out of there. Goku isn't a hero, but circumstances had him fight villains outside of tournaments. Now he's taking on actual heroes.

This, is something I would like to see or read. That's how you remake Prison Planet.
There's a pretty popular fanfic that seems to explore a similar concept. I haven't read it though, so I don't know how good it is.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9901820/1/ ... A-Good-Man
I read it before. Had a good concept, then promptly did nothing with it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Tai Lung » Fri Jul 06, 2018 1:24 am

ekrolo2 wrote:What's the absolute worst idea for a fic you've ever had?
given the little appreciation that is in his relationship with chichi, i try to give another wife to goku but end up putting him in a harem ..
lol nothing that should be read ...

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Jackalope89 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:13 am

Tai Lung wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:What's the absolute worst idea for a fic you've ever had?
given the little appreciation that is in his relationship with chichi, i try to give another wife to goku but end up putting him in a harem ..
lol nothing that should be read ...
I see that more than it has a right to exist (if keeping Goku in character).

Granted, that could be said about a lot of fanfic concepts (DBZ included), but still.

My worst idea was the Future Warrior from Xenoverse being sent to a combined DC animated universe (Young Justice, etc), and it was crap.

Second to that, are concepts with no real clue of what to actually do with them.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:35 am

Jackalope89 wrote:Second to that, are concepts with no real clue of what to actually do with them.
I sort of had a problem like that not too long ago, I was thinking of introducing a Doomsday expy in DB as the guy who definitively kills Goku but then I realized it would be the same issue I have with Death of Superman: it'd be nothing but a big long fight scene against a dumb monster that goes on, and on, and on,....
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

How the Black Arc Should End (by Lightbing!):

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Jackalope89 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 12:07 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:
Jackalope89 wrote:Second to that, are concepts with no real clue of what to actually do with them.
I sort of had a problem like that not too long ago, I was thinking of introducing a Doomsday expy in DB as the guy who definitively kills Goku but then I realized it would be the same issue I have with Death of Superman: it'd be nothing but a big long fight scene against a dumb monster that goes on, and on, and on,....
You mean like the Broly movies?

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 12:30 pm

Jackalope89 wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:
Jackalope89 wrote:Second to that, are concepts with no real clue of what to actually do with them.
I sort of had a problem like that not too long ago, I was thinking of introducing a Doomsday expy in DB as the guy who definitively kills Goku but then I realized it would be the same issue I have with Death of Superman: it'd be nothing but a big long fight scene against a dumb monster that goes on, and on, and on,....
You mean like the Broly movies?
Please, don't insult Broly by comparing him to Doomsday.
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

How the Black Arc Should End (by Lightbing!):

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sat Jul 07, 2018 12:33 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:So, who's already making plans to fix fic the Prison Planet Arc :P
It's an interesting concept, but I'd rather stay clear out of DB's time travel after Super and Xenoverse convoluted the fuck out of its mechanics.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 12:40 pm

Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:So, who's already making plans to fix fic the Prison Planet Arc :P
It's an interesting concept, but I'd rather stay clear out of DB's time travel after Super and Xenoverse convoluted the fuck out of its mechanics.
I sort of agree, I tried looking up what Xeno Trunks' backstory was and it's this convoluted combination of video games, pre, and post-Super continuity.

On the flipside, there's a little devil on my shoulder telling me "Fu is doing all these experiments to create a warrior powerful enough to destroy the Gods & Zeno!" and that's just a concept I find really interesting to pursue.
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

How the Black Arc Should End (by Lightbing!):

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by theTUN » Sat Jul 07, 2018 1:00 pm

This story takes place pre-TOP, and follows Cabba and his conflict with an evil Saiyan scientist named Zeleri. It goes into Saiyan history and mythology a bit, although I might never finish it, since the movie will almost certainly contradict it and force me to rewrite the whole thing.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12608940/1 ... he-Saiyans

Anyways, feedback is appreciated.

Edit: I didn't notice it at first, but someone left a batshit crazy manifesto as a review. Check it out before the FBI siezes it as a part of that user's inevitable cool-aid induced mass suicide ritual!

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Kanassa » Sat Jul 07, 2018 3:37 pm

theTUN wrote:This story takes place pre-TOP, and follows Cabba and his conflict with an evil Saiyan scientist named Zeleri. It goes into Saiyan history and mythology a bit, although I might never finish it, since the movie will almost certainly contradict it and force me to rewrite the whole thing.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12608940/1 ... he-Saiyans

Anyways, feedback is appreciated.

Edit: I didn't notice it at first, but someone left a batshit crazy manifesto as a review. Check it out before the FBI siezes it as a part of that user's inevitable cool-aid induced mass suicide ritual!
That's just copypasta fanfiction review. You get it sometimes.

Haven't read the fic yet, but quick suggestion. That summery... It tells us very little and does nothing to help pull an audience in
When Super apparently shoves Goku down our throats:

Kanassa wrote:
FoolsGil wrote:I hope Mark is dead. But chances are the dragonballs will bring his stupid ass back. :D
- FoolsGil, Out of Context, 2017

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Jackalope89 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 3:50 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:
Jackalope89 wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote: I sort of had a problem like that not too long ago, I was thinking of introducing a Doomsday expy in DB as the guy who definitively kills Goku but then I realized it would be the same issue I have with Death of Superman: it'd be nothing but a big long fight scene against a dumb monster that goes on, and on, and on,....
You mean like the Broly movies?
Please, don't insult Broly by comparing him to Doomsday.
Doomsday actually killed Superman.

Broly, though an interesting concept, was beaten by a single punch, then by a bunch of kids. For all his ranting, raving, and destruction, Broly never killed Goku.

Besides, both are big, hulking, killing machines. Hard NOT to compare them.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by theTUN » Sat Jul 07, 2018 5:33 pm

Kanassa wrote:
theTUN wrote:This story takes place pre-TOP, and follows Cabba and his conflict with an evil Saiyan scientist named Zeleri. It goes into Saiyan history and mythology a bit, although I might never finish it, since the movie will almost certainly contradict it and force me to rewrite the whole thing.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12608940/1 ... he-Saiyans

Anyways, feedback is appreciated.

Edit: I didn't notice it at first, but someone left a batshit crazy manifesto as a review. Check it out before the FBI siezes it as a part of that user's inevitable cool-aid induced mass suicide ritual!
That's just copypasta fanfiction review. You get it sometimes.

Haven't read the fic yet, but quick suggestion. That summery... It tells us very little and does nothing to help pull an audience in
Well, I don't know what else to add without spoilers. I guess I'll add that Cabba loses his ability to go Super Saiyan and is forced to visit the ruins of an ancient Universe 6 Saiyan civilization to reclaim the lost power hiding there.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Kanassa » Sun Jul 08, 2018 12:44 am

theTUN wrote:
Kanassa wrote:
theTUN wrote:This story takes place pre-TOP, and follows Cabba and his conflict with an evil Saiyan scientist named Zeleri. It goes into Saiyan history and mythology a bit, although I might never finish it, since the movie will almost certainly contradict it and force me to rewrite the whole thing.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12608940/1 ... he-Saiyans

Anyways, feedback is appreciated.

Edit: I didn't notice it at first, but someone left a batshit crazy manifesto as a review. Check it out before the FBI siezes it as a part of that user's inevitable cool-aid induced mass suicide ritual!
That's just copypasta fanfiction review. You get it sometimes.

Haven't read the fic yet, but quick suggestion. That summery... It tells us very little and does nothing to help pull an audience in
Well, I don't know what else to add without spoilers. I guess I'll add that Cabba loses his ability to go Super Saiyan and is forced to visit the ruins of an ancient Universe 6 Saiyan civilization to reclaim the lost power hiding there.
You need to add some flavor to it.
"Dragon Ball Super: Secret of the Saiyans follows Cabba and his rivalry with the villainous Saiyan scientist Zeleri."
Barely anyone is going to look at that and be sucked in. It's just blandly stating two general facts about the fic with nothing in there attempting to get the reader interested.
When Super apparently shoves Goku down our throats:

Kanassa wrote:
FoolsGil wrote:I hope Mark is dead. But chances are the dragonballs will bring his stupid ass back. :D
- FoolsGil, Out of Context, 2017

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by theTUN » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:03 am

Kanassa wrote:
theTUN wrote:
Kanassa wrote: That's just copypasta fanfiction review. You get it sometimes.

Haven't read the fic yet, but quick suggestion. That summery... It tells us very little and does nothing to help pull an audience in
Well, I don't know what else to add without spoilers. I guess I'll add that Cabba loses his ability to go Super Saiyan and is forced to visit the ruins of an ancient Universe 6 Saiyan civilization to reclaim the lost power hiding there.
You need to add some flavor to it.
"Dragon Ball Super: Secret of the Saiyans follows Cabba and his rivalry with the villainous Saiyan scientist Zeleri."
Barely anyone is going to look at that and be sucked in. It's just blandly stating two general facts about the fic with nothing in there attempting to get the reader interested.
Ok, if I'm being honest, I'm more interested in feedback on the story itself than the description lol.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Jackalope89 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:27 am

theTUN wrote:
Kanassa wrote:
theTUN wrote:
Well, I don't know what else to add without spoilers. I guess I'll add that Cabba loses his ability to go Super Saiyan and is forced to visit the ruins of an ancient Universe 6 Saiyan civilization to reclaim the lost power hiding there.
You need to add some flavor to it.
"Dragon Ball Super: Secret of the Saiyans follows Cabba and his rivalry with the villainous Saiyan scientist Zeleri."
Barely anyone is going to look at that and be sucked in. It's just blandly stating two general facts about the fic with nothing in there attempting to get the reader interested.
Ok, if I'm being honest, I'm more interested in feedback on the story itself than the description lol.
A good summary can really help reel in readers. A quick summary of what will happen is usually how you want to do it. Like, what sort of rivalry do Cabba and Zellery have?

Would it be something like; "Dragon Ball Super: Secret of the Saiyans. Cabba comes across the plot of the villainous scientist Zeleri, and must do whatever he can to stop the villain! Before its too late."?

Or would it be more personal between them?

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by theTUN » Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:01 pm

Jackalope89 wrote:
theTUN wrote:
Kanassa wrote: You need to add some flavor to it.
"Dragon Ball Super: Secret of the Saiyans follows Cabba and his rivalry with the villainous Saiyan scientist Zeleri."
Barely anyone is going to look at that and be sucked in. It's just blandly stating two general facts about the fic with nothing in there attempting to get the reader interested.
Ok, if I'm being honest, I'm more interested in feedback on the story itself than the description lol.
A good summary can really help reel in readers. A quick summary of what will happen is usually how you want to do it. Like, what sort of rivalry do Cabba and Zellery have?

Would it be something like; "Dragon Ball Super: Secret of the Saiyans. Cabba comes across the plot of the villainous scientist Zeleri, and must do whatever he can to stop the villain! Before its too late."?

Or would it be more personal between them?
Ok, I understand the description needs to be worked on, but again, I'm much more concerned with feedback about the story itself.

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