General Fan Fiction Thread

[FoolsGil]

Sounds like a very satisfying conclusion.

[Jedabura]

I made a thread, but it didn't really seem to get a response, so decided to post here.

For anyone who cares, I'm working on a long-form Dragon Ball reboot. I have three "episodes" completed thus far and intend to cover the entire story, start to finish.

Here's my original thread, which contains a better, more comprehensive explanation of my goals with this project and motivations for undertaking it:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=41932

If you wanna cut straight to the chase, here's a FanFiction.Net link:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12895714/1 ... n-Season-1

For anyone who prefers to read on ArchiveOfOurOwn:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14357 ... s/33141354

Any and all feedback is greatly encouraged and appreciated. Hate it? Tell me. Love it? Tell me. Wanna discuss it? Please, do.

[FoolsGil]

I made a thread, but it didn't really seem to get a response, so decided to post here.

For anyone who cares, I'm working on a long-form Dragon Ball reboot. I have three "episodes" completed thus far and intend to cover the entire story, start to finish.

Here's my original thread, which contains a better, more comprehensive explanation of my goals with this project and motivations for undertaking it:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=41932

If you wanna cut straight to the chase, here's a FanFiction.Net link:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12895714/1 ... n-Season-1

For anyone who prefers to read on ArchiveOfOurOwn:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14357 ... s/33141354

Any and all feedback is greatly encouraged and appreciated. Hate it? Tell me. Love it? Tell me. Wanna discuss it? Please, do.

I'll give it a read and give you my thoughts in a day or so.

Now, does anyone have any tips for writing fight scenes?

[Kanassa]

Now, does anyone have any tips for writing fight scenes?

Avoid a blow by blow description of each character action, as this will feel too technical and dry. The scene should be more chaotic, much like a real fight. Keep the character actions simple, clear, and to the point. Avoid long sentences and don't use adverbs or too many adjectives in the scene.

Ask yourself if how important the fight is. Is it more to the story than just an action scene? if you cut it out, what would change?

What are the motivations of the fighters involved?

Ask what sort of feel you want for the fight scene. Is it a satisfying, one-sided beatdown? Is it tense blows between equal fighters? Is it the heroes survivin against an overpowering and unyielding opponent?

[Dragon Ball Gus]

Has anyone done a Dragon Ball and Nightmare Before Christmas crossover? Because that idea sounds awesome, because TNBC is one of favorite movies of all time.

[TheGodfather93]

Now, does anyone have any tips for writing fight scenes?

I consider fight scenes to be one of the better aspects of my writing. I've never tried to give anyone tips before, but I'll give it a shot.

Make sure it makes sense and flows smoothly. There has to be a good sense of progression, starting from when characters are fresh and up for it, to when they're tired and wounded. When writing, try and picture what's happening in your head, as though you were watching an episode of the anime.

Don't make it too complex, but don't make it too simple either - use a variety of terminology to make what's happening seem more exciting. For example, I use words like "hook", "jab", "cross" and "uppercut" instead of "punch". When it comes to kicks, I like to specify what kind of kick it is; such as roundhouse, spinning heel kick, snap kick, side thrust kick etc. With powerful ki blasts, I try to use language like sparkling, dazzling and pulsating to describe how majestic the attack is.

One thing I consider very important when it comes to writing DBZ fights is showing the impact they have on the environment. The Dragon Ball world is quite crazy when it comes to how powerful its fighters can be, and I like to show that in my writing, as I feel it makes the fight as a whole a lot grander and more epic. I'm talking stuff like characters being slammed into the ground and causing earthquakes upon collision, buildings collapsing like dominoes, the world seeming to shake when fists collide - that kind of stuff. I also like to describe how debilitating certain attacks can be for characters (breaking a nose, shattering a jaw, dislocating an arm, cracking ribs etc).

Hope that helps.

On a somewhat related note, I just had someone drop my fic after 16 chapters and 179k words because he hated the power-scaling in the latest chapter. He even went so far as to state his own made up power levels in his review, just to show me just how much I "messed up". This guy also complained in an earlier chapter when Roshi made a casual comment about Videl's potential if she remained dedicated to her training, and was even going to drop the story because of it until he changed his mind. I think he's gone for good now though... and good riddance.

I absolutely despise this part of the DB fandom - the part that puts so much stock in their own power-scaling, power levels, and all that other bullshit, to the point that anything that doesn't match their interpretation is wrong. It's even worse if the person doing the complaining is blatantly wrong - which this guy was.

[Dragon Ball Gus]

Nobody answered my question.

[Alruneia]

Nobody answered my question.

This is a naturally slow thread and it's been one day. Please be patient. It's also very possible that no one has an answer for you, as your request is very specific, and making secondary posts like these isn't going to help you with that.

[Jackalope89]

Has anyone done a Dragon Ball and Nightmare Before Christmas crossover? Because that idea sounds awesome, because TNBC is one of favorite movies of all time.

On Fanfiction.net, there is a single story with this crossover, with 1 chapter, at 525 words.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10011465/1 ... ut-Edition

You honestly have more luck with finding TNBC crossing over with other movies, particularly with something like Corpse Bride.

For DBZ... Sailor Moon, Justice League, Naruto (good luck finding balance there), and Fairy Tail are some of the more popular crossovers.

But trying an actual crossover between something like Dragon Ball and TNBC is such a niche thing, and contrasting styles, that its just not something done. Unless you want to give it a shot.

[Jedabura]

I made a thread, but it didn't really seem to get a response, so decided to post here.

For anyone who cares, I'm working on a long-form Dragon Ball reboot. I have three "episodes" completed thus far and intend to cover the entire story, start to finish.

Here's my original thread, which contains a better, more comprehensive explanation of my goals with this project and motivations for undertaking it:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=41932

If you wanna cut straight to the chase, here's a FanFiction.Net link:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12895714/1 ... n-Season-1

For anyone who prefers to read on ArchiveOfOurOwn:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14357 ... s/33141354

Any and all feedback is greatly encouraged and appreciated. Hate it? Tell me. Love it? Tell me. Wanna discuss it? Please, do.

I'll give it a read and give you my thoughts in a day or so.

Now, does anyone have any tips for writing fight scenes?

Please do! Anxious to hear what you think.

[Kanassa]

On a somewhat related note, I just had someone drop my fic after 16 chapters and 179k words because he hated the power-scaling in the latest chapter. He even went so far as to state his own made up power levels in his review, just to show me just how much I "messed up". This guy also complained in an earlier chapter when Roshi made a casual comment about Videl's potential if she remained dedicated to her training, and was even going to drop the story because of it until he changed his mind. I think he's gone for good now though... and good riddance.

I absolutely despise this part of the DB fandom - the part that puts so much stock in their own power-scaling, power levels, and all that other bullshit, to the point that anything that doesn't match their interpretation is wrong. It's even worse if the person doing the complaining is blatantly wrong - which this guy was.

Surprisingly enough, I have yet to receive any complaints about power scaling in mine, though maybe that's because I've set it in Future Trunks's Timeline with a seven-year time skip, so any character I use outside of Trunks is a character whose power has not been stated or could have changed in that timeline.

[FoolsGil]

I've dropped fics before. Not because of power levels but because of writing choices that make the work untenable:

-Plot lines that were dropped in story that I was hoping to be explored, but was put there just because.
-A character (hero or villain) who if he or she wasn't a sue, is so stupidly lucky or so amazingly awesome that I couldn't keep reading about them winning or I'd have a headache.
-A story that was completely thinking outside the box, and then decided to go for the good v evil shtick.

For the last one I did write a comment saying I'm not reading this story again, I really REALLY loved its premise and was absolutely disappointed with what the story became. It didn't take for me long to see that I shouldn't have done it like that. These days when I'm displeased with the direction of a story I was invested in, I DM the writer to understand their thoughts, from which I'll make a decision to continue a story or not.

[TheGodfather93]

On a somewhat related note, I just had someone drop my fic after 16 chapters and 179k words because he hated the power-scaling in the latest chapter. He even went so far as to state his own made up power levels in his review, just to show me just how much I "messed up". This guy also complained in an earlier chapter when Roshi made a casual comment about Videl's potential if she remained dedicated to her training, and was even going to drop the story because of it until he changed his mind. I think he's gone for good now though... and good riddance.

I absolutely despise this part of the DB fandom - the part that puts so much stock in their own power-scaling, power levels, and all that other bullshit, to the point that anything that doesn't match their interpretation is wrong. It's even worse if the person doing the complaining is blatantly wrong - which this guy was.

Surprisingly enough, I have yet to receive any complaints about power scaling in mine, though maybe that's because I've set it in Future Trunks's Timeline with a seven-year time skip, so any character I use outside of Trunks is a character whose power has not been stated or could have changed in that timeline.

Of all the reviews my fic has gotten, only one person has complained about the power-scaling, and I firmly disagree with his complaints.

The reason for his complaining is a fight that happened in my latest chapter, between [spoiler]a Boo arc Gohan who never stopped training and Majin Cooler.

Basically, I tried to make the fight something of a mirror of what happened in the first Cooler movie. In that movie, base Goku toyed with fourth form Cooler, and only had to go Super Saiyan when Cooler transformed. In my fic, base Gohan had a clear advantage over fourth form Cooler, but once Cooler transforms into his fifth form, he beats Gohan's ass and forces him to turn Super Saiyan.

This guy's complaints were that base Gohan should've only been at a power level of 4-5 million, whereas fourth form Cooler should've been at a power level of over 200 million.

Putting aside the fact that I think power levels are bullshit, and something I'm never going to explicitly list in my fic, I think this guy is clearly in the wrong. Despite my disdain for the concept of power levels, I do know that proper power-scaling is important in a fic that's going to have a good amount of fighting, and I don't think my power-scaling was as outrageously off as this guy claimed.

A Boo arc base Gohan who never stopped training is significantly stronger than a post-Namek base Goku. If this incarnation of Goku could handily wallop fourth form Cooler, why can't a significantly stronger incarnation of Gohan do the same to a slightly stronger version of Cooler?[/spoiler]

I've had other fanfic writer friends of mine get sent essay-length PMs from people disagreeing with their power-scaling, and explaining what the "correct" power levels should be... even if the story in question isn't very battle oriented to begin with. It's absurd how heated some people can get over this.

I welcome legitimate criticism on my writing - stuff like character development, plot contrivances, grammar and disjointed storytelling among others. I know I'm FAR from perfect as a writer, and I'm always looking for ways to improve. But I do not welcome people bitching about the "power levels" in my story because they don't match their own interpretation, if said interpretation is wrong.

[Jackalope89]

Looked at the review, and was somewhat surprised it wasn't a certain reviewer that tends to plague the crossover stories.

That said, anytime someone brings up power level numbers past the Namek Saga, I disregard. Story or review wise. And stories that become obsessed with it, I just outright skip over. Not interested in how big a certain character's power level is, never have been. I'm interested in a good story, even if the action is limited.

[JazzMazz]

Well, here's just an idea of what could be done with the possibly revived 6 new Gods of destruction from universes 13 to 18, and how they could be antagonists.

After being revived, and learning that their resurrection was nothing more than a side effect, the 6 Gods decide to take the necessary action to ensure their own peace of mind by eliminating the being that destroyed them, Zeno.

After being visiting the other 12 Gods of Destruction to see if they would be willing to go through with their plot, the cast a spell that incapacitates the angels, Zeno, the Grand Priest and the all the Gods of Destruction that didn't want to go along with their scheme.


After they've been incapacitated, the rogue Gods try to destroy Zeno, the Grand Priest, the angels and the Gods of Destruction that opposed them in a bid for power and security, leaving only the mortals of each universe to fend for the incapacitated deities.

[Kanassa]

Well, here's just an idea of what could be done with the possibly revived 6 new Gods of destruction from universes 13 to 18, and how they could be antagonists.

After being revived, and learning that their resurrection was nothing more than a side effect, the 6 Gods decide to take the necessary action to ensure their own peace of mind by eliminating the being that destroyed them, Zeno.

After being visiting the other 12 Gods of Destruction to see if they would be willing to go through with their plot, the cast a spell that incapacitates the angels, Zeno, the Grand Priest and the all the Gods of Destruction that didn't want to go along with their scheme.


After they've been incapacitated, the rogue Gods try to destroy Zeno, the Grand Priest, the angels and the Gods of Destruction that opposed them in a bid for power and security, leaving only the mortals of each universe to fend for the incapacitated deities.

...They just happen to ahve a spell that can incapacitate all of the most poewrful beings in the multi-verse? Why didn't they use this before Zeno erased them from existence?

[JazzMazz]

Well, here's just an idea of what could be done with the possibly revived 6 new Gods of destruction from universes 13 to 18, and how they could be antagonists.

After being revived, and learning that their resurrection was nothing more than a side effect, the 6 Gods decide to take the necessary action to ensure their own peace of mind by eliminating the being that destroyed them, Zeno.

After being visiting the other 12 Gods of Destruction to see if they would be willing to go through with their plot, the cast a spell that incapacitates the angels, Zeno, the Grand Priest and the all the Gods of Destruction that didn't want to go along with their scheme.


After they've been incapacitated, the rogue Gods try to destroy Zeno, the Grand Priest, the angels and the Gods of Destruction that opposed them in a bid for power and security, leaving only the mortals of each universe to fend for the incapacitated deities.

...They just happen to ahve a spell that can incapacitate all of the most poewrful beings in the multi-verse? Why didn't they use this before Zeno erased them from existence?

Why would they?
To our knowledge, no other universes had been erased before those 6, so why would they believe that Zeno would go through with it?
Besides, a simple quest could serve for them discovering the spell. Its not an impossible thing to work around when you already have some of the most powerful beings in the multiverse working in co-ordination.

[Kanassa]

Well, here's just an idea of what could be done with the possibly revived 6 new Gods of destruction from universes 13 to 18, and how they could be antagonists.

After being revived, and learning that their resurrection was nothing more than a side effect, the 6 Gods decide to take the necessary action to ensure their own peace of mind by eliminating the being that destroyed them, Zeno.

After being visiting the other 12 Gods of Destruction to see if they would be willing to go through with their plot, the cast a spell that incapacitates the angels, Zeno, the Grand Priest and the all the Gods of Destruction that didn't want to go along with their scheme.


After they've been incapacitated, the rogue Gods try to destroy Zeno, the Grand Priest, the angels and the Gods of Destruction that opposed them in a bid for power and security, leaving only the mortals of each universe to fend for the incapacitated deities.

...They just happen to ahve a spell that can incapacitate all of the most poewrful beings in the multi-verse? Why didn't they use this before Zeno erased them from existence?

Why would they?
To our knowledge, no other universes had been erased before those 6, so why would they believe that Zeno would go through with it?
Besides, a simple quest could serve for them discovering the spell. Its not an impossible thing to work around when you already have some of the most powerful beings in the multiverse working in co-ordination.

It just feels extremely convenient.

[JazzMazz]

...They just happen to ahve a spell that can incapacitate all of the most poewrful beings in the multi-verse? Why didn't they use this before Zeno erased them from existence?

Why would they?
To our knowledge, no other universes had been erased before those 6, so why would they believe that Zeno would go through with it?
Besides, a simple quest could serve for them discovering the spell. Its not an impossible thing to work around when you already have some of the most powerful beings in the multiverse working in co-ordination.

It just feels extremely convenient.

I mean, its Dragonball, pretty much every plot element is convenient.

[FoolsGil]

Well, here's just an idea of what could be done with the possibly revived 6 new Gods of destruction from universes 13 to 18, and how they could be antagonists.

After being revived, and learning that their resurrection was nothing more than a side effect, the 6 Gods decide to take the necessary action to ensure their own peace of mind by eliminating the being that destroyed them, Zeno.

After being visiting the other 12 Gods of Destruction to see if they would be willing to go through with their plot, the cast a spell that incapacitates the angels, Zeno, the Grand Priest and the all the Gods of Destruction that didn't want to go along with their scheme.


After they've been incapacitated, the rogue Gods try to destroy Zeno, the Grand Priest, the angels and the Gods of Destruction that opposed them in a bid for power and security, leaving only the mortals of each universe to fend for the incapacitated deities.

...They just happen to ahve a spell that can incapacitate all of the most poewrful beings in the multi-verse? Why didn't they use this before Zeno erased them from existence?

My question is why bother going through revealing themselves to other Gods when they could just storm Zeno's realm out of the blue, incapacitate everyone inside including both Zenos, kill both Zenos and then take off?