General Fan Fiction Thread

[Kanassa]

- God of Destruction School mini-arc (not as bad as it sounds)

That only gives me the image of a cliche High School AU fic where the ods of Destruction and Angels are all teachers at a school

[The gr]

So I think I may have just finished my layout for how I want my DBS re-write to go, I may start writing it this week. I'm setting it after EoZ. Battle of Gods was nearly perfect so it may end up almost exactly the same in my version, but following that, it'll be almost like a completely different story, just with the same story ideas and concepts (after all, creating an almost exact replica of the DBS story with just a few "fixes" would be boring). Here's how I planned the arcs out:

- Battle of Gods arc
- God of Destruction School mini-arc (not as bad as it sounds)
- Universe 6 vs Universe 7 Tournament arc
- Search for the Super Dragon Balls saga (which includes a Makaioshin arc and a planet Sadla arc)
- Resurrection 'F' arc
- Tournament of Power saga (recruitment arc, tournament itself and post-tournament)
- Zamasu arc
- Rebellion arc

Why are you putting the Top first than the Zamasu arc,this decision sounds interesting

[Doctor.]

- God of Destruction School mini-arc (not as bad as it sounds)

That only gives me the image of a cliche High School AU fic where the ods of Destruction and Angels are all teachers at a school

Think of an obstacle course/test all the God of Destruction apprentices take to see if they're fit for the spot. It's just a way to introduce characters like the Grand Priest and Toppo earlier.

Why are you putting the Top first than the Zamasu arc,this decision sounds interesting

Zamasu as an endgame villain makes more sense if he has the most powerful Goku body possible, no?

[The gr]

Zamasu as an endgame villain makes more sense if he has the most powerful Goku body possible, no?

never thought about that,Zamasu being the final bad guy sound like a cool idea

I might be alone on this, but I always figured it would be better for Super to say that Cabba already showed Super Saiyan off to the king and such, making it, and the way to achieve it, public information and causing a ton of people to be Super Saiyans. I'm using that idea in one of my specials, but only as a background detail.
Concerning the current tournament, Caulifla would be one of these Super Saiyans, while Kale would not, for obvious reasons. Caulifla's "Mary Sue-ness" would be that she discovers Super Saiyan 2 on her own, which should feel significantly less "cheap" if the Super Saiyan 1 bargain sale has already happened.

that would make the u6 Saiyans less stupid,or better yet, let them use the super saiyan god ritual

[Kanassa]

Do you enjoy having little references to the source material inside your stories? Because looking back through my writing I've just realised how many nods I've put in.

[Alruneia]

Do you enjoy having little references to the source material inside your stories? Because looking back through my writing I've just realised how many nods I've put in.

This is fan fiction. It'd be weird to not have references to the original material. In my opinion, that is.
I have plenty of references to Ball and Z (and a few to Super) included in my work, yeah. No GT, though, since I'm overwriting it.

[ekrolo2]

So I think I may have just finished my layout for how I want my DBS re-write to go, I may start writing it this week. I'm setting it after EoZ. Battle of Gods was nearly perfect so it may end up almost exactly the same in my version, but following that, it'll be almost like a completely different story, just with the same story ideas and concepts (after all, creating an almost exact replica of the DBS story with just a few "fixes" would be boring). Here's how I planned the arcs out:

- Battle of Gods arc
- God of Destruction School mini-arc (not as bad as it sounds)
- Universe 6 vs Universe 7 Tournament arc
- Search for the Super Dragon Balls saga (which includes a Makaioshin arc and a planet Sadla arc)
- Resurrection 'F' arc
- Tournament of Power saga (recruitment arc, tournament itself and post-tournament)
- Zamasu arc
- Rebellion arc

Interesting that F happens way after, meaning the U6 tourney probably won't come as an after effect of Freeza winning. I kind of think it maybe should happen sooner if Freeza's in the Survival arc but then again, I don't have the complete plans in front of me to gauge that.

[Doctor.]

So I think I may have just finished my layout for how I want my DBS re-write to go, I may start writing it this week. I'm setting it after EoZ. Battle of Gods was nearly perfect so it may end up almost exactly the same in my version, but following that, it'll be almost like a completely different story, just with the same story ideas and concepts (after all, creating an almost exact replica of the DBS story with just a few "fixes" would be boring). Here's how I planned the arcs out:

- Battle of Gods arc
- God of Destruction School mini-arc (not as bad as it sounds)
- Universe 6 vs Universe 7 Tournament arc
- Search for the Super Dragon Balls saga (which includes a Makaioshin arc and a planet Sadla arc)
- Resurrection 'F' arc
- Tournament of Power saga (recruitment arc, tournament itself and post-tournament)
- Zamasu arc
- Rebellion arc

Interesting that F happens way after, meaning the U6 tourney probably won't come as an after effect of Freeza winning. I kind of think it maybe should happen sooner if Freeza's in the Survival arc but then again, I don't have the complete plans in front of me to gauge that.

Freeza's resurrection comes straight after BoG, he's just gonna do his own thing in the background until his own arc while the main characters are busy with the multiverse stuff.

[ekrolo2]

So I think I may have just finished my layout for how I want my DBS re-write to go, I may start writing it this week. I'm setting it after EoZ. Battle of Gods was nearly perfect so it may end up almost exactly the same in my version, but following that, it'll be almost like a completely different story, just with the same story ideas and concepts (after all, creating an almost exact replica of the DBS story with just a few "fixes" would be boring). Here's how I planned the arcs out:

- Battle of Gods arc
- God of Destruction School mini-arc (not as bad as it sounds)
- Universe 6 vs Universe 7 Tournament arc
- Search for the Super Dragon Balls saga (which includes a Makaioshin arc and a planet Sadla arc)
- Resurrection 'F' arc
- Tournament of Power saga (recruitment arc, tournament itself and post-tournament)
- Zamasu arc
- Rebellion arc

Interesting that F happens way after, meaning the U6 tourney probably won't come as an after effect of Freeza winning. I kind of think it maybe should happen sooner if Freeza's in the Survival arc but then again, I don't have the complete plans in front of me to gauge that.

Freeza's resurrection comes straight after BoG, he's just gonna do his own thing in the background until his own arc while the main characters are busy with the multiverse stuff.

I'd suggest possibly resurrecting him sooner, maybe after Boo but before Oob.

[Doctor.]

I'd suggest possibly resurrecting him sooner, maybe after Boo but before Oob.

I would, as that would make his training time even longer (which is part of the reason I switched the arc around), but since I'm starting the story already post-Oob, I can't think of a way to integrate the reveal into the story without it seeming like an asspull or retcon. "Oh, Freeza actually has been alive THIS WHOLE TIME and he was resurrected years back during the 10-year timeskip!" Having him be resurrected right after BoG ensures that it's something the audience sees and has in their mind throughout the whole story.

[ekrolo2]

I'd suggest possibly resurrecting him sooner, maybe after Boo but before Oob.

I would, as that would make his training time even longer (which is part of the reason I switched the arc around), but since I'm starting the story already post-Oob, I can't think of a way to integrate the reveal into the story without it seeming like an asspull or retcon. "Oh, Freeza actually has been alive THIS WHOLE TIME and he was resurrected years back during the 10-year timeskip!" Having him be resurrected right after BoG ensures that it's something the audience sees and has in their mind throughout the whole story.

I can see your point. Without a POV from Freeza at the proper time it would make it ass pullish, but a POV early on could make the wrong impression about hi s relevance to people for the early portion.

[Doctor.]

I'd suggest possibly resurrecting him sooner, maybe after Boo but before Oob.

I would, as that would make his training time even longer (which is part of the reason I switched the arc around), but since I'm starting the story already post-Oob, I can't think of a way to integrate the reveal into the story without it seeming like an asspull or retcon. "Oh, Freeza actually has been alive THIS WHOLE TIME and he was resurrected years back during the 10-year timeskip!" Having him be resurrected right after BoG ensures that it's something the audience sees and has in their mind throughout the whole story.

I can see your point. Without a POV from Freeza at the proper time it would make it ass pullish, but a POV early on could make the wrong impression about hi s relevance to people for the early portion.

He'll have his own sub-plots, so it's not like he'll just be revived and be off-screen training until his arc comes. So, it's not exactly misleading

[Kanassa]

What do you consider the core attributes of a character's retribution arc?

[ekrolo2]

What do you consider the core attributes of a character's retribution arc?

You mean a revenge story? Depends on what kind of revenge story you're going with. Is it like John Wick where it's the protagonist getting revenge? A new bad guy with a grudge against an established character or an old character coming back for revenge against the tried and true?

For the first two, see John Wick for all your answers.

For the last one, development has to come from both ends or on one end. As an example, you want to bring back Cell and have him avenge himself by going after Gohan, Cell should either 1) learn from his past mistakes and abuse the mistakes of the good guys to get a jump on them or 2) Cell only superficially improves but the good guys use this as a learning experience to make REAL improvement for themselves in the future.

[Alruneia]

What do you consider the core attributes of a character's retribution arc?

Depends, could you be more specific as to what kind of retribution arc you mean?

[Kanassa]

What do you consider the core attributes of a character's retribution arc?

Depends, could you be more specific as to what kind of retribution arc you mean?

What do you consider the core attributes of a character's retribution arc?

You mean a revenge story? Depends on what kind of revenge story you're going with. Is it like John Wick where it's the protagonist getting revenge? A new bad guy with a grudge against an established character or an old character coming back for revenge against the tried and true?

For the first two, see John Wick for all your answers.

For the last one, development has to come from both ends or on one end. As an example, you want to bring back Cell and have him avenge himself by going after Gohan, Cell should either 1) learn from his past mistakes and abuse the mistakes of the good guys to get a jump on them or 2) Cell only superficially improves but the good guys use this as a learning experience to make REAL improvement for themselves in the future.

Arg, typo. I meant Redemption Arc.

[Gog]

Arg, typo. I meant Redemption Arc.

Well then, I suppose the main attributes of a redemption arc (or a good redemption arc) is to first show off who the character was and acted before hand. Like Vegeta, we actually get a glimpse into how he worked, what his job was, how much of a bastard he was and heck he was even the main antagonist of an arc. For how the villain turns good? I always think that it should be a long slow process. Their development into becoming a hero should be a process that takes a long time, not at the drop of a hat.

[Freeza9000]

This is basically a what if scenario had Future Trunks remained in the Present timeline after Zamasu's defeat. Tell me what your thoughts are and what improvements can be made. Harsh, mild is welcome!

The Endless Nightmare:
[spoiler]It hasn't been very long, possibly about nearly nine months since Zamasu's defeat, and while he, Goku, and Vegeta were all semi successful in their bout. It ultimately wasn't enough, and it was only through the omnipotent god Zen-Oh's assistance that they were able to truly defeat Zamasu. But unfortunately, not only did the remaining human survivors on Earth dealt with a bone crushing death, but his entire timeline and universe he sought to protect was obliterated in the blink of an eye, and erased from existence. While all may have been lost, he still had Mai, and they managed to stop Zamasu's insane genocide once and for all. So it was an overall bitter-sweet victory for himself and the crew.

Soon after, Trunks ultimately decided to stay in the present, believing that he'd messed with time long enough, and that nothing else good would come from it, he'd already lost his world, time, and broken the taboos of the gods more times than he could count. Why continue to do so? Even despite being offered the opportunity of being transported to a new timeline before Zamasu, aka Black's attack. Which at first he accepted, but after further contemplation, he decided to decline, coming to the conclusion that it would practically feel like glorified facade, it would never be the real thing. Plus he felt he owed it to Goku, his father, and everyone else for their efforts in helping him deal with Zamasu and Black, to stick around and aid them in any future threats that may come their way.

Ever since, the Saiyan hybrid had began adjust to life in the present, with his mother of this time, helping him secure his own place, as well as any other necessities one would need for their daily lives. He didn't feel right accepting all these things from her, but she insisted and rather than debate, as he would never win with her anyhow, he simply allowed her to do so. Overall, life had been quite peaceful, so peaceful that it almost felt like an anomaly to him. As for the majority of his life, all the hybrid was ever used to doing was surviving, and fighting, but now? All that was almost nonexistent. In spite of this though, he did continue to keep up with his training, in part due to his father's wishes.

Life was only so peaceful for the half breed when he was awaken. His dreams, however, was a completely different story. As tonight was yet another restless night. Tossing and turning in his sleep, gripping his pillow, gritting his teeth, even breaking out into sweats. While the fighting may have come to an end in reality, the war in his dreams was far from over.

Trunks found himself back in his post-apocalyptic world, running through the ruined and debris ridden alleyways of what was left of West City. Water splashed beneath his boots as he stepped over a puddle in the middle of his sprint, he could sense something was chasing him. "Sinner.." He heard a disturbingly sinister, yet familiar tone pierce his mind repeatedly, filling him with dread, but he decided to ignore it as he proceed to run even faster. Making it out onto a desolate road in the middle of the decrepit city, dark greenish clouds glided above in the sky as he attempted to figure out which way he should go, before hearing yet another familiar voice call out his name, but this time it was soft and comforting. "Trunks!"

He turned into the direction of which his name was yelled from, as his eyes widened and he smiled in relief, it was a woman with long black hair wearing a dark blue trench coat and a army green hat. "Mai!" He began to run over towards her as she waving over to him. But once he arrived before her, a thick dark cloud of mist appeared directly behind her, as two glowing red eyes became visible within it. He could swear he felt his heart drop from within at the sight of this. "MAI! BEHIND YOU!" He attempted to warn her, as she turned around with a gasp, feeling a hand grip her by the throat tightly, and lift her off the ground as she struggled for air. "RELEASE HER!"

He immediately withdrew his sword from his sheath, as an electrified golden aura of energy exploded all around him, causing his hair to turn yellow and become spiked up, going SSJ2 initially. He wasted zero time leaping forth as he attempted to go for a slash upon the clouded being, but just as quickly as he acted, he was just as quickly sent flying back from a powerful ki blast that sent him crashing through one of ruined buildings, which caused clouds of dust and debris to be formed and scattered amidst the immediate area as it crumbled on top of him. Although dazed, and sore, the young Saiyan managed to pull himself up off the ground whilst gripping his arm. He could only stand helplessly as he watched the clouded being hold Mai up by her throat.

The dark clouds soon began disperse from around the figure, revealing the fallen deity that was Fused Zamasu, grinning at Trunks mockingly. "Filthy mortal...not only are you a sinner...but a failure as well!" A purple glow of energy began to form within his hand as he held Mai firmly as she continued to struggle. "T-Trunks..." She barely managed to mutter out as she reached out her hand for him, viewing him out of the corner of her eyes. Trunks attempted to move desperately, but he couldn't, it was as if a mysterious force was halting from any at all potential movement. All he could do was watch on as Zamasu held up his glowing palm in front of Mai's face as she expressed a terrified visage. "Begone." A blast was unleashed that obliterated her entire being as Trunks watched on in horror. "MAI!"

He finally found himself able to move, and soon ascended into Super Saiyan Rage, unleashing a scream of fury as a huge burst of energy crackled through the atmosphere, and the earth beneath him tremble. Leaping forward with gold and blue aura's engulfing him, he gripped his sword tightly within his grasp and prepared to cut Zamasu down. But as soon as he was within distance, and the slash was swung, the fused deity vanished completely. "What the!?" He then began to hear endless amounts of sadistic laughter all around him, before looking up into the sky with a gasp, as green silhouettes that resembled Zamasu's face began to spread across the sky endlessly. "No..."

Was all he could say, as he noticed a massive ball of red energy being not only formed, but charged within one of silhouettes mouths, before unleashing it down to the earth below in the form of an immense beam of energy, which in turn was followed by a storm of even more beam blasts. The ground began to tremble all around the Saiyan, as everything was either destroyed or crumbled. He attempted to maintain his balance before ascending off the ground as it began to crack and give way beneath his feet. But once he was able to stop for a brief moment in order to take a glance back up into the sky, an immense red beam of energy was already heading straight for him with little time to react.

He attempted to dodge it, but once again found himself halted by the very same incomprehensible force he felt earlier on. "NO!" Withing moments the hybrid was consumed within the blast itself, as screams of unimaginable agony could be heard, before he was utterly obliterated almost instantaneously.

The shock of this awoke Trunks immediately, sitting up with widened eyes as he quickly reached for his sword, which was sheathed to the side of his bed, and drew it forth by it's hilt. "Zamasu!" There was nothing there, only the highlights of moonlight which pierced through the cracks of his blinds, causing the otherwise dark room to appear somewhat illuminated.

Still panting, he slowly proceeded to lower his sword to his side, as he applied both his hands against his sweaty face. "Dammit...they just won't end..." This had become a nearly nightly routine over the past week, he almost began to contemplate on whether he really was a sinner, and that Zamasu was haunting him from beyond the dead. As it seemed the young Saiyan hybrid would be continuously haunted by his past sins and failures for the rest of his days. Tears of frustration began to well up within his eyes, as his hands raised to up to grip his hair firmly. Feeling a sensation of dread and regret building up within him. "...Forgive me.."[/spoiler]

[Alruneia]

Arg, typo. I meant Redemption Arc.

Right. The most typical things a character passes through in a redemption arc is a fleshing out of their backstory and them finding themself in a situation that forces them to act differently. The classic example is Vegeta on Namek, who's forced into a temporary alliance with Krillin and Gohan and shares his backstory when he dies. The arc should also take a while, and depending on the character's original personality, a "relapse" should be possible if not inevitable (With Vegeta as an example, I'd use the one who fought 19). If the character is going to become a full-time good person, their feelings and/or thoughts should be shown to be changing throughout the story. If it's only ever a temporary alliance, that's a different situation and you don't need to look much further than to Frieza in the ongoing tournament.

[Anime Kitten]

I think it can be done spontaneously if it's believable. Have one character's words trigger memories of other people's words from throughout the antagonist's life that eventually results in their mind changing for the better (namely, to aid the protagonists).

If they end up surviving after this, then they can take time to dwell on those memories and words, but I don't think it always necessarily needs to be taken slow (though it's not bad to be by any means).