Dragon ball fan comic advice

Any general discussion regarding fan-created works of the Dragon Ball franchise, including AMVs, fan-art, fan-fiction, etc.

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Trezion
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Dragon ball fan comic advice

Post by Trezion » Sat Jan 06, 2018 4:53 am

I'm sorry if this thread has been done a million times but I'm currently trying to write a dragon ball story and I'd like to here general opinions on what I can do to make it unique or interesting.

The story is called Dragon Ball Tsu and it takes place 8 years after the end of Z. The main characters are Pan, Uub, Bra, and Marron who are trapped at the edge of the galaxy and must find their way home (Dragon Balls aren't accessible). I decided to rework the characters personalities a bit while keeping some of the elements from GT that I liked.

Pan- A 13-year-old girl who has been practicing martial arts ever since she was a kid, she attends Orange Star Middle School and is considered a sort of school idol thanks to her grandfather being Hercule. She's very outgoing and social but at the same time headstrong and determined. Pan enjoys fighting like her grandfather but instead of enjoying it to increase her strength, she enjoys fighting to prove she is strong. Pan has a rivalry with Uub and dislikes him due to him taking away her grandfather and she butts heads with him a lot. Due to her being part of the Super Saiyan God ritual she has a special ability (which I haven't come up with completely)

Uub- 18-year-old Uub has just finished his training with Goku a few months ago and ever since then he has been traveling the world to apparently learn about the planet he's protecting. Although he's gotten stronger he's still shy and gets nervous very easily, especially around hot-blooded personalities like Pan. He loves fighting but at the same time, he doesn't like hurting others. Similar to Gohan when he's anger his power increases tenfold and he's a force to be reckoned with, but at the same time he loses a lot of his technique making him a much simpler fighter and capable of losing too many of the experienced fighters in the universe.

Bra- 12 years old, Bra is what most would consider a child prodigy, Like most of her family Bra is a genius but not in science or in battle, but instead in business. Bra handles Capsule Corps from the shadows while her older brother is the face of the corporation. Bra can be rude but she normally means well, her father spoils her heavily but she usually tries to avoid him due to her distaste for muscle heads (except for pan). Bra is strong for her age due to her Saiyan blood but at the same time she is incredibly weak compared to the rest of the Dragon Team and has no real martial arts training. Like Pan, she also has a special ability due to the circumstances of her birth.

Marron- out of the main cast Marron is the voice of reason, she tries to settle most situations without violence (although it normally fails), although she looks like her Mom she takes after her Dad in personality, being a bit clumsy and being dragged along in Saiyan problems (brought to her by Pan and Bra normally). Marron works with her uncle as a Park Ranger and thanks to this she has gained a decent amount of strength along with a wide variety of knowledge on plants and animals.

Other concepts and ideas I'm planning to elaborate on.

The Cult of Destruction- a cult that stretches all across the universe with a desire to create a brand new god of destruction (due to them believing Beerus to be a failure at his job). They kidnap the heroes in order to extract the DNA of Bra and Pan due to them being the weakest Saiyans. (Marron and Uub are accidentally dragged along) but they lose the 4 due to them being stronger than anticipated. In order to capture them, the Cult of Destruction hires mercenaries, space pirates, and many other antagonists to capture the group.

Corrupt Galactic Patrol- 2 members of the Galactic Patrol who plan to usurp the Galactic King's throne and create a new era in the universe. Their names are Supu and Rame. Supu being the muscles and Rame being the brains of the operation. They both try to stop the heroes due to them discovering the conspiracy.

Kuriza- Son/Clone of Frieza, due to his origins he is much weaker than his father but he is still a sneaky customer, he manipulates many of the antagonist and even the heroes in order to get his way.

Other characters that might appear Ledgic, Jiya and Jaco, Tarble, Gure, Tarble's son, Crusher Corps (?), Galaxy Control (also ?)

There's also going to be some stuff with Goten, Gohan, and Trunks going into space in order to find the missing kids.


Anyways, if anyone thinks they can help me stretch out these concepts or add more interesting stuff please feel free to give me your input! I have character designs as well if anyone thinks I should post them.

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FoolsGil
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Re: Dragon ball fan comic advice

Post by FoolsGil » Sat Jan 06, 2018 6:48 pm

Well it's a great premise. Biggest questions you should answer, Why aren't the older, stronger Z Fighters getting involved? Imho, you need to get the kids off Earth. If they're on Earth there is no reason that anyone who can sense energy can't tell the kids are in trouble. Especially Goku and Vegeta.

One thing to consider: Dr. Brief has all these Capsule Spaceships and does nothing with them in Z, Super, or GT. In your comic, perhaps Brief has started galactic expedition missions. Each of the kids have their reasons for going, something goes wrong, they get separated from the rest of their crew, and they make themselves known to the main villains of the series. Alternatively, Brief has been doing missions in the background this whole time since Z, and has chartered enough galaxies to find a planet resort. The kids go there to relax, and then they get kidnapped by the main villains and it goes from there.

Trezion
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Re: Dragon ball fan comic advice

Post by Trezion » Sun Jan 07, 2018 5:06 am

FoolsGil wrote:Well it's a great premise. Biggest questions you should answer, Why aren't the older, stronger Z Fighters getting involved? Imho, you need to get the kids off Earth. If they're on Earth there is no reason that anyone who can sense energy can't tell the kids are in trouble. Especially Goku and Vegeta.

One thing to consider: Dr. Brief has all these Capsule Spaceships and does nothing with them in Z, Super, or GT. In your comic, perhaps Brief has started galactic expedition missions. Each of the kids have their reasons for going, something goes wrong, they get separated from the rest of their crew, and they make themselves known to the main villains of the series. Alternatively, Brief has been doing missions in the background this whole time since Z, and has chartered enough galaxies to find a planet resort. The kids go there to relax, and then they get kidnapped by the main villains and it goes from there.
Yeah, I was thinking about this a bit.

First off for Goku, he knows that the kids are off in space and exactly where they are (thanks to help from King Kai) but he decides to make this training for them (specifically Pan and Uub) and leaves them to fend on their own. He's still very watchful of them but rarely interfere's.

On the other hand, everyone else is in a big panic, they immediately try to head off into space, but the only spaceship that Capsule Corp currently has available can only carry 3 people and so the older heroes draw straws in order to decide who will go look for the children. The 3 chosen are Goten, Trunks, and Gohan and their exploration will be a side story until both groups eventually meet each other at the center of the universe.

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