8000 Saiyan wrote:Chuquita wrote:I'm like "this is a fascinating thread, why have I not posted in it" and then I see it's a year old and was mostly going on around the time I was busy recovering from almost-dying. That explains it.
The all-encompassing love affair with nostalgia that's gripped pop culture is something I feel exempt from because what I want more than anything right now is move forward and make a future for myself that I can be happy with. I don't see the past as a better or worse time than the present. It's both; it's just different.
Maybe those who are in love with nostalgia were lucky (or unlucky depending on how dependent on it they are) to have a brief period of their lives where everything seemed perfect and everything was going well. Maybe their present pales in comparison to that. The whole "peaked early" concept.
The past was hard. The present is hard. Life in general is hard and the challenges you face are ever-changing. The only reason I would ever want to go back to the past is if I could do so with the knowledge I've gained due to what I've experienced and make more informed choices to see if I'd get a better result; but that wouldn't be fair. The me I am now only exists because of the choices my younger self made, and while my situation isn't yet where I want it to be, I still like who I've become as a person. It's what drives me to try as many new and different things now as I can in hopes for the future. If there's one piece of advice I could give 11 year old me and have that me take it to heart, it'd be that.
You almost died? From what?
I felt like I was going to drown in a room full of air.
Below's an abridged version; to explain all the details would be to write a grimly comedic novella involving strawberry pop-tarts, Yoshi's Island, and "beautiful veins" (which someday, somewhere I might, but not here or today).
I was in an accident last June; I fell, hit my neck and unbeknownst to me injured my left vocal cord. The swelling in my throat made breathing incredibly difficult and I took my first and hopefully last ambulance ride to the ICU where I stayed for 6 days before transferring to a regular hospital room for 4 more days. Then I went home and it took all summer to build my strength back up. For 8 weeks I had a temporary trach and it was hell. The trach was removed after that and all that's left is a small scar. The scar took several months to fully heal. It took almost an entire year for my voice to heal. I still sound a little scratchy due to the scar tissue on that cord, but I've got my volume and about 95% of my vocal range back (there's a few super high notes I can no longer hit, but have old recordings of that prove I once could). The way it is now I could voice "generic shounen jump protagonist" real well, haha. (I laugh because comedy is what helps me cope.)
I don't usually bring real life stuff into online postings, but at the time since there actually was a chance I was going to die (from asphyxiation I suppose), I posted about it at the time on my deviantart (though they don't archive status updates so that message is gone now) and a shorter version on my tumblr about having to go to the hospital for a while.
I was gone for 5 days straight from this forum last June; that's rare for me. I vaguely recall checking in on my phone from the hospital, but I kept myself from posting because they had me pumped all full of drugs. My family brought my laptop to me in the ICU and I watched episode 48 of Super in the hospital; unfortunately the drugs I was full of wiped my memory of the entire episode and I realized that when I went to go re-watch it several months later. I recalled the event clear as a bell, but none of the episode's contents. Only three posts I made from in the hospital and miraculously only one of them reads like there's something wrong with me:
Chuquita wrote:Yay ssjg!! That was a great hospital treat! Can't wait to buy the tankoubon.
Only three hours later from the same hospital room:
Chuquita wrote:i misssed ssjg goku and was thrilled to him in the f and Champa dougi. when i get out of here there will be mini comics.
I'm shocked no one called me out on that mess of a post at the time. Grammatical horrors aside, I never talk about my deviantart/tumblr stuff on kanzenshuu because this isn't the place I post my fan-art.
Chuquita wrote:Wow I get a fake/imitation vibe from Gokû Black in Toriyama's drawing.
Very threw a wig on him.
This one's 5 days after the first two posts; I was out of the ICU and in the regular hospital room by this point so it sounds the most like a normal post I'd write.