My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Discussion specifically regarding the "Dragon Ball Super" TV series premiering July 2015 in Japan, including individual threads for each episode.

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Matches Malone
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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Matches Malone » Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:25 pm

Mad Swami wrote:
Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:02 pm
I do really enjoy your take on the universal conflicts and superstition.
Here's Part 2 of the Zamasu arc:
Part 3:
This was originally going to just be part 2, but it clearly got a lot longer than I thought.

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Mad Swami » Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:34 pm

Matches Malone wrote:
Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:25 pm
Mad Swami wrote:
Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:02 pm
I do really enjoy your take on the universal conflicts and superstition.
Here's Part 2 of the Zamasu arc:
Part 3:
This was originally going to just be part 2, but it clearly got a lot longer than I thought.
It's odd that Black is so much stronger(not bad just odd). I am very curious to see how you explain that. I like that Ginyu's body-switching technique came back. I like that in this version it's almost a council of Destroyers which make up the Zeno role. I really love that idea and even had that thought. I like that another G.O.D had been assassinated, really reminds me of Watchmen in a way.

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Dbzfan94 » Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:55 pm

1 trillion times multipler? come on now. :lol:

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by GodVegetto91 » Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:39 pm

Dbzfan94 wrote:
Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:55 pm
1 trillion times multipler? come on now. :lol:
Hey, different writer, different rules! Nothing has been set in stone afterall. So anything can be decided. SSJ God is a literal God form! So yeah, it will be empowered appropriately!😎 That’s how it should be. And Godly Ki “SHOULD” be special and in a realm of its own. Literally a “different dimension” of strength.
“The fool looks to God outside him. The wise understands that God is within him.”

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Matches Malone » Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:19 pm

The Zamasu arc Part 4:

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by EGonzo » Fri Jul 17, 2020 12:01 am

Matches Malone wrote:
Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:19 pm
The Zamasu arc Part 4:
I'm really loving your rewrite. It's making me want to post my own take on Super

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by pepd » Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:13 am

A lot of people seem to have a rewrite of DBS. It's really interesting to read.
I also have one, I'm set on most things and it's almost complete; would love to post it, but at the same time I think I may actually make a fan manga, so I think I'll pass. (also, it's not really linearly written, is really just a bunch of notes on characters, events and dialogues Heh)

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Matches Malone » Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:29 am

EGonzo wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 12:01 am
I'm really loving your rewrite. It's making me want to post my own take on Super
Thanks a lot, I'll post the final part of this arc later today or tomorrow. :mrgreen:

I'm always interested in fan rewrites so go ahead and post it.

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Tai Lung » Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:44 am

Matches Malone wrote:
Wed Jul 08, 2020 1:23 am
GodVegetto91 wrote:
Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:39 pm
What do you think about this version of the story fellas?
It focuses too much on the power side of things and not the stories, which are Super's main problem.

Changes I'd make to RF:
Changes I'd make to the Champa arc:
It is very similar to what I had written here
viewtopic.php?t=44638
but honestly, take out cabba and botamo do not contribute anything nor will they contribute later

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Matches Malone » Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:49 am

Tai Lung wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:44 am
ake out cabba and botamo do not contribute anything nor will they contribute later
I kept them in because Botamor could fight Buu, and I do plan on writing a Sadala arc and expanding on Vegeta's potential as a teacher.

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Tai Lung » Fri Jul 17, 2020 2:51 am

And if we forget the frieza training and we better clarify that it is a genetically improved clone to be much stronger? ... :think:
of course you can include the 4-month training but it would be more credible now being a "new" frieza
Matches Malone wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:49 am
Tai Lung wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:44 am
ake out cabba and botamo do not contribute anything nor will they contribute later
I kept them in because Botamor could fight Buu, and I do plan on writing a Sadala arc and expanding on Vegeta's potential as a teacher.
I still don't see it working if you're going to keep the tournament of power.
botamo and cabba seem like a good idea in principle .. but in retrospect they are useless especially manga botamo who is easily vulnerable to "ring out" and magic.
it would be easier to replace both with caulifla and kale so that they have a more "moderate" development learning from goku or vegeta and you could also include a sadala arc since in the end they will be kefla merged. They can take on god level guys while cabba not at all ... and if he get the SSJGod it would feel very rushed.
I will not deny that vegeta as "Master" can be interesting but we could see that facet with his son, future trunks


take it as a suggestion

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Matches Malone » Fri Jul 17, 2020 3:17 am

The Zamasu arc, part 5:

Tai Lung wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 2:51 am

I still don't see it working if you're going to keep the tournament of power.

it would be easier to replace both with caulifla and kale so that they have a more "moderate" development learning from goku or vegeta.

I will not deny that vegeta as "Master" can be interesting but we could see that facet with his son, future trunks
I'm not keeping that tournament, and so far I plan on leaving Broly and Moro mostly as is. I still plan on introducing U11, probably in a universe war type of story.

Kale won't be in this version, just Caulifla, who'll be Goku's student.

I've already had Trunks train with Gohan instead, as Vegeta isn't allowed into the time room. I'm keeping the limit of only entering twice per person.

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Tai Lung » Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:06 pm

Matches Malone wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 3:17 am
The Zamasu arc, part 5:

Tai Lung wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 2:51 am

I still don't see it working if you're going to keep the tournament of power.

it would be easier to replace both with caulifla and kale so that they have a more "moderate" development learning from goku or vegeta.

I will not deny that vegeta as "Master" can be interesting but we could see that facet with his son, future trunks
I'm not keeping that tournament, and so far I plan on leaving Broly and Moro mostly as is. I still plan on introducing U11, probably in a universe war type of story.

Kale won't be in this version, just Caulifla, who'll be Goku's student.

I've already had Trunks train with Gohan instead, as Vegeta isn't allowed into the time room. I'm keeping the limit of only entering twice per person.

ok then it makes more sense like that

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by EGonzo » Fri Jul 17, 2020 7:52 pm

Tai Lung wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:44 am
Matches Malone wrote:
Wed Jul 08, 2020 1:23 am
GodVegetto91 wrote:
Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:39 pm
What do you think about this version of the story fellas?
It focuses too much on the power side of things and not the stories, which are Super's main problem.

Changes I'd make to RF:
Changes I'd make to the Champa arc:
It is very similar to what I had written here
viewtopic.php?t=44638
but honestly, take out cabba and botamo do not contribute anything nor will they contribute later
I don't know, Cabba contributes to Vegeta's arc in Super, in that he starts caring about other people besides his family, it also reconnects him with his Saiyan heritage, and also adds a nice teacher-student dynamic that might lead to him becoming a mentor like Goku at EOZ.
That said, it could have definitely done better

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Tai Lung » Fri Jul 17, 2020 10:59 pm

EGonzo wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 7:52 pm
I don't know, Cabba contributes to Vegeta's arc in Super, in that he starts caring about other people besides his family, it also reconnects him with his Saiyan heritage, and also adds a nice teacher-student dynamic that might lead to him becoming a mentor like Goku at EOZ.
That said, it could have definitely done better
the problem is that ... cabba is only interesting when he is with vegeta as an individual character is not relevant and seems boring ..
thanks to vegeta it has some development but since it does not appear until the tournament all its growth just adds little ... to make it work you would have to rewrite his character or literally eliminate complete sagas and that would no longer be a rewriting, that is change complete .. for my case it would keep the series the same with slight changes that in the end would help a lot
honestly for me that would be the right thing ... only if we go to rewrite the sagas .. it would be "great" a sadala arc or explore the universes although that would longer be changing the series

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Kiyoharu » Sat Jul 18, 2020 5:48 pm

I would erase caulifla and Kale.

They are trash.

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Matches Malone » Sun Jul 19, 2020 2:17 am

Kiyoharu wrote:
Sat Jul 18, 2020 5:48 pm
I would erase caulifla and Kale.

They are trash.
Kale definitely has no business being there, but Caulifla could've been an interesting character if she wasn't a Cell arc Vegeta × 10.

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Tai Lung » Sun Jul 19, 2020 2:49 pm

Matches Malone wrote:
Sun Jul 19, 2020 2:17 am
Kale definitely has no business being there, but Caulifla could've been an interesting character if she wasn't a Cell arc Vegeta × 10.
that depends on your rewriting ... kale is necessary for kefla and for universe 6 to be relevant in the original story since hit could not be the only god level.
Caulifla looks more like Goku due to her emotion for battles and her sense of camaraderie, which is eliminated if you remove Kale ...
vegeta doesn't have any of that

Anyway, the guy above thinks that everything super is trash., so it's not that he's an objective opinion.

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by EGonzo » Mon Jul 20, 2020 5:01 pm

Tai Lung wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 10:59 pm
EGonzo wrote:
Fri Jul 17, 2020 7:52 pm
I don't know, Cabba contributes to Vegeta's arc in Super, in that he starts caring about other people besides his family, it also reconnects him with his Saiyan heritage, and also adds a nice teacher-student dynamic that might lead to him becoming a mentor like Goku at EOZ.
That said, it could have definitely done better
the problem is that ... cabba is only interesting when he is with vegeta as an individual character is not relevant and seems boring ..
thanks to vegeta it has some development but since it does not appear until the tournament all its growth just adds little ... to make it work you would have to rewrite his character or literally eliminate complete sagas and that would no longer be a rewriting, that is change complete .. for my case it would keep the series the same with slight changes that in the end would help a lot
That's a good point. In the anime it worked a little better because we saw them on some "filler" episodes, but it would have helped if we'd had a Sadala arc before the TOP

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Re: My Dragon Ball Super rewrite

Post by Kiyoharu » Mon Jul 20, 2020 11:28 pm

Tai Lung wrote:
Sun Jul 19, 2020 2:49 pm
Anyway, the guy above thinks that everything super is trash., so it's not that he's an objective opinion.
You only like Caulifla and Kale because you jerk off thinking about them.

Your opinion is irrelevant.

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