A better paced Granolah arc

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Geraldo
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A better paced Granolah arc

Post by Geraldo » Wed Aug 24, 2022 11:51 pm

Here is my structure for this story:

Chapter 67 - Introduction of Granolah and Oatmeel.

Chapter 68 - Stealing OG-7-3I. Goichi is left in shambles, promising it's not the last of him.

Chapter 69 - Granolah suffers from nightmares of the Frieza Force and the Saiyan Great Apes rampaging on his home planet 40 years ago. Introducing the Heeters. Gas is stated to be Ginyu Force tier.

Chapter 70 - Introducing the Sugarians and Monaito. Granolah collects and uses the Cerealian Dragon Balls. Elec reveals that his true goal is to take over the Frieza Force.

Chapter 71 - Granolah, now the strongest in the universe, confronts the Heeters. Oil and Macki are sent to Zuno's pinpointed location.

Chapter 72 - Goku and Vegeta return to Earth. Oil and Macki go from Zuno's planet to Earth, steal the Dragon Radar, lie to Goku and Vegeta and hit off to Cereal.

Chapters 73-75 - Goku and Vegeta fight against Granolah in turns (his clone survives only in the first chapter). The Sugarians flee because of the havoc caused by the fights. Granolah throws Oatmeel to his fate. Vegeta forces Granolah to power up to an extent that destroys the ruins of his hometown, Granolah unleash his second right eye while he prepares to kill Vegeta with the maximum accuracy of sniping. Vegeta outsmart him and about to Hakai the beaten Granolah with Ultra Ego.

Chapter 76 - Elec and Gas land on Cereal, Goku notices their evil energies and ask Vegeta to spare Granolah who possess no such ki. Oatmeel contacts Monaito and drives him to the battlefield. Gas' memories give him a PTSD symptoms of anxiety. Elec tells Oil to stay near the battlefield and report in live, and speeds Macki to collect the last Dragon Ball. Granolah confesses that he is not used to such heights and that his power level was given to him by a wish from the Dragon Balls.

Chapter 77 - Elec stares at his disturbed young brother while Oil reports that Monaito had arrived and stopped the battle, bubbling about "that nasty Saiyan from back then... Turns out that mook is that Goku's father!". Gas' eyes are filled with rage, we then go into: Bardock vs. Gas, part 1.
Chapter 78 - Bardock vs. Gas, part 2. Goku learns that his father got a change of heart and wasn't a Raditz-esque asshole by the end of his life. He then asks Granolah for forgiveness for what the Saiyans had done to him and his people. Granolah who is shocked by Monaito's story (supplied by Bardock's scouter), realizes he should avenge his people against the Heeters, and throws away his desire to kill Goku and Vegeta.

Chapter 79 - Elec uses the information he got from Zuno and wishes Gas to become the strongest in the universe. Goku and Vegeta realized that the sudden darkness means that the Dragon Balls had been collected once again. Gas was too eager to showcase himself that he didn't listen to the Dragon, he has 26 years left to live for fulfilling the wish which can be dwindle as much as he'll power up beyond his given limit. Gas shows up undetected and shoots Granolah right in the abdomen. Goku takes charge and rushes to fight Gas.

Chapter 80 - Gas vs. Goku: Gas recognise the resemblance between Goku and Bardock, the two go at eachother for 2/3rds of the chapter with Goku eventually learning Gas wasn't even fighting half serious. Gas says he'll now use 60% of his current maximum and crushes Ultra Instinct Goku's lungs with a bearhug. He then starts telling Goku about his fight against Bardock 40 years ago while headbutting him in the face. Goku loses consciousness and Vegeta goes UE to rescue him (throws his body to the lake's shore) as Gas tries to break his spine. Monaito heals Granolah with a bit of a difficulty.

Chapter 81 - Gas vs. Vegeta. The Saiyan Prince goes all out but his power level falls short as Gas keep on raising the bar. Granolah thinks that Gas could be defeated in teamwork rather than 1 on 1 battles, and shoots a direct hit at the back side of Gas' knees, hoping to paralyze his legs/movement. Gas wastes a bit of his life force to regenerate and teleports to Granolah's location, granbing him by his hair and placing 2 of his fingers in front of the Cerealite's eyes and shooting them from point blank range. Granolah is now blinded and dying once again. Vegeta catches his breath and tries to rescue Granolah as well but has to face Gas' wrath. Goku is healed.

Chapter 82 - Goku teleports in front of Gas before he'll hurt Vegeta even more, and tells him he doubt Gas can keep track of him. Gas is angry to see that Goku's still alive and somehow healthy as ever. Goku teleports to different places on the planet, with Gas following him and trying to intercept his movements. Goku teleports to different planets following the ki signatures of folks he know (Monaka, Jaco, the Galactic Prisoners), with Gas trying to follow and kill the Saiyan. Gas transforms from his own will, after taking the head-dressing off at the Galactic Prison, as Zauyogi's mockery had brought his mental health to it's limits. Goku is outmatched, but he does not give up and teleports both of them to a near by planet after Gas had made Zauyogi and his friends pee in their pants in fear. Gas loses control and almost all sogns of his sentient self, but remembers Elec has confidence in him and so he recollects himself and transforms into a much more mature and bulky self. Goku runs off to another planet with Gas soon follows.

Chapter 83 - The Heeters' spaceship gets an update that Frieza's spaceship is once again detected in a galaxy not that far away from them. Fearing that Frieza will join forces with his rivals and will overpower Gas, Elec decides to collect the Dragon Balls once again and use it as a plan B in case Gas fails. Gas and Goku continue their trip-fighting, until Goku spots Whis' energy signal and teleports to him, where he's enjoying a vacation alongside the Oracle Fish. Gas is tired from teleporting all over the universe, the Oracle Fish has no idea who Gas is, which Goku finds weird. Gas punches Goku's stomach and asks Whis if he's another enemy he should crush, Whis tells him that he's a pacifist but won't tolerate rudeness towards him, Gas tries to shish kebab Whis only to find himself embarrassed by his speed of dodging. Goku sends a Kamehameha at Gas' back and runs off to Cereal using a multi Instant Transmissions trick to outsmart Gas. Gas demands Whis to tell him where did Goku went to, Whis mocks him and says that if he can't sense Goku's clearly large energy then he must be an amature martial artist. Gas focus and closes his eyes, he finds Goku back on Cereal and flies there not before he tells Whis that once he'll get accustomed to his strength "he'll get back to settle the score between them". The Oracle Fish mocks this nobody and they continue their vacation.

Chapter 84 - Gas vs. Everyone: Gas lands on Cereal, with the healed back to health Goku, Granolah and Vegeta welcoming him with a battle stance. He decides to take their lives with everything he has. The battle goes on and suddenly the sky turn dark, Gas wonders what happened. Goku and Vegeta know that the Dragon Balls had been collected once again, by the Heeters, but what for? Turns out Elec wishes to merge himself with the now completely restored OG-7-3I on a cellular level. After this was granted, Elec shows up on the battlefield and taps on Gas' shoulder, commenting how well he did against these freaks, he tells Gas to not make anymore power ups if he wants to live. Gas is shocked at how Elec now looks. Elec ask Gas to stay still and copies his power level, he has now got this power combined with some of moro's power left copied in the database. Elec pummels Goku with ease, with Granolah going all out to put an end to his mother's and race's killer. Gas can't believe how fatigue he feels, he goes to see his image in the lake and sees that he's now an elderly man. Gas is shocked and have a strong grudge against his brother using him like that, Oil tells him this can be undone with the Dragon Balls and he calms down. Macki tries to cheer Gas up by stating that thanks to him cooking the Saiyans and Granolah, they'll be the rulers of the universe as their parents have dreamt of.

Chapter 85 - The Heeters' Successful Ploy - Elec stands on top of all of the fighters, he mocks them for being so simple minded they couldn't even come with an elaborated plan like his. He picks Granolah by his neck from the ground and thanks him for all his past jobs, before spitting at his face, commenting how he should feel proud that a superior being like Elec had been nursing him for so long. He mentions that Granolah is not even worthy of his spit. Goku asks Vegeta to do the Fusion Dance. Vegeta agree, knowing that Elec had sucked almost all of Granolah's ki with moro's magic and cheated his way to becoming the strongest in the universe more than he could think of. Gogeta is born again. Elec prepare for the battle. Monaito is fearing that Oil or Macki will kill him as they come near and laugh.

Chapter 86 - Gogeta manages to free Granolah's stolen energy from Elec with the Forced Spirit Fission and then forced Elec to transform as well, like Gas did, Gogeta uses a combination of UI and UE and manages to pierce through Elec, leaving him dying on the ground. Gas decides to fight with all he's got, the fusion runs out, with Zombie Gas about to kill Vegeta, his left arm breaks and he deteriorates and turns into dust. Goku can't believe it. Elec is shocked at Gas' death and calls Macki and Oil to retreat, but Granolah steps into their way and says they're not going anywhere. He uses the last bit of power he has to use an hakai at the severly injured Elec and kills/erases him. Macki and Oil run for the hills. Vegeta blows their spaceship to make sure Granolah will get his revenge. Oatmeel tells Granolah they're still running, Monaito heals Granolah for just a bit before he stops the old Namekian and tells him that he'll finish this to prevent them from hurting others and will undo all that his selfish wish had caused. He teleports to their location just as they're about to enter their spaceship (the one they have used to bring Goku and Vegeta with) and confronts them for all they did. Macki tells Oil they have got no other option and tears her lace. Oil gulps and does so, too. Granolah stares shocked as the two of them transform when pushed to the wall. Their pilot faints in fear, and his craft automatically lands.

Chapter 87 - Granolah fights the transformed Macki and Oil in mid air with difficulty, as his power level right now is Ginyu Force tier (he didn't let Monaito heal him for too long), he then powers up with some of his hair turning gray and some wrinckles showing on his face. He kicks them to the cliff they stood on back when Bardock first saw them there, and shoots an energy wave on them till there's nothing left of them. The Sugarian elders call Monaito and ask if he knows what was that terrible chain of explosions, the old Namekian says that the Heeters who sold them this planet are behind it, but that Granolah and his friends here took care of them. Granolah returns to Monaito's home, where Vegeta is resting and Goku is eating. Granolah caughs blood and tells Monaito he wants to use the Dragon Balls for the last time. Vegeta tells the older looking Granolah to use the Dragon Radar that Macki dropped off when Gas died if he wants to collect them with ease.
Granolah wishes to undo what his wish had caused, he gets both his life and planet back to how they were. Whis arrives and picks Goku and Vegeta off to Beerus' planet. Granolah vows he'll use his fighting skills for the use of good and enlists to the Galactic Patrol. He takes the Heeters' spaceship and personnel for booking at the GP.

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Geraldo
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Re: A better paced Granolah arc

Post by Geraldo » Sat Oct 08, 2022 4:03 am

Perhaps this, too, would be better in the "fan works" section of this forum. :twisted:

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