General Fan Fiction Thread

Any general discussion regarding fan-created works of the Dragon Ball franchise, including AMVs, fan-art, fan-fiction, etc.

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R. Daneel Olivaw
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by R. Daneel Olivaw » Mon Jul 23, 2018 10:43 pm

I'm doing a re-writing of most of the Dragon Ball series. They all fit into the same continuity. The difference is, Bardock is actually a brilliant scientist, that's how it starts. There are some other things I'll change that aren't a result of that change, just things I want to do differently.

Bardock is still a bad dude, though. He's just not much of a fighter. This will result in Raditz being naturally weaker and not having an inclination to train, which results in Goku and Piccolo vs Raditz turning out differently. Goku's character is still mostly the same because even though he was born with more natural intelligence due to genetics, he'll still hit his head when he comes to Earth.

The way I plan on portraying Kale and what I think the ideal way to portray her would be is this: In her base form she's timid, she doesn't like her transformation because she's a gentle person and doesn't want to lose her mind and hurt anybody. If something really upsets her, like seeing Caulifla get killed or beaten mercilessly, she might end up transforming against her will. She doesn't scream "Goku" or "Kakarot" and just smashes the crap out of everyone. She gradually learns to get better control of her ability, first by being able to recognize allies when in her berserk form, and eventually controlling the blinding rage and using it as her source of power. So she wouldn't just be Fem!Broly, she would have another aspect to her character. I think it would be more interesting for her to be able to control her temper when in her legendary form but still have limited reasoning. So when she learns to control it her two personalities would be shy in her base form and a big strong dummy in her legendary form.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:35 pm

What're some interesting characters you'd put into a Prison Planet-esque arc?
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:44 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:What're some interesting characters you'd put into a Prison Planet-esque arc?
The Devilman.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Jackalope89 » Tue Jul 24, 2018 6:02 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:What're some interesting characters you'd put into a Prison Planet-esque arc?
Ryoga Hibiki.

Not as a prisoner, but because he accidentally ended up there.


That reminds me of a one-shot crossover. Its still very much DBZ related, but if you know about Ryoga and his "issue", then its all the funnier.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Alruneia » Tue Jul 24, 2018 6:03 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:What're some interesting characters you'd put into a Prison Planet-esque arc?
More than adding characters that are "interesting" in and of themselves, I'd focus on the whole "warring factions" thing, adding groups of characters who work together. (One example that's not already in the actual PP arc would be Turles and his crew.) The part that's interesting, to me at least, comes when these groups of characters are attacked and fractured, and remaining members decide to team up with other groups, creating strange matchups similar to Cooler and Future Trunks.
...I also can't think of any characters I'd particularly like to see.
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by FoolsGil » Tue Jul 24, 2018 6:53 pm

Jackalope89 wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:What're some interesting characters you'd put into a Prison Planet-esque arc?
Ryoga Hibiki.

Not as a prisoner, but because he accidentally ended up there.
Love this idea. And maybe he's so depressed about all this his Shishi Hokodan actually does damage. Makes him semi-useful. :mrgreen:

For the Prison Planet? I think Red Ribbon Army? Commander Red sees this as an opportunity to usurp Fu and take over.
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Jackalope89 » Tue Jul 24, 2018 10:28 pm

FoolsGil wrote:
Jackalope89 wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:What're some interesting characters you'd put into a Prison Planet-esque arc?
Ryoga Hibiki.

Not as a prisoner, but because he accidentally ended up there.
Love this idea. And maybe he's so depressed about all this his Shishi Hokodan actually does damage. Makes him semi-useful. :mrgreen:

For the Prison Planet? I think Red Ribbon Army? Commander Red sees this as an opportunity to usurp Fu and take over.
And the rest of the group would follow him, ending up somewhere completely different from where they planned.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by TheGodfather93 » Thu Jul 26, 2018 12:53 pm

I always find it both amusing and mildly annoying when people leave reviews or send me PMs asking me what's going to happen later in the story. Questions like who will the villain be and how will they be defeated, how are two people going to get together, will a certain person play a major part in the story, will situation X happen and result in outcome Y etc.

It feels good to know people are so invested in my writing that they're that interested in finding out what happens later, but don't they realise that me telling them would kinda defeat the purpose of writing it into the story?

I definitely understand the feeling of impatience, and wanting to get to the really good stuff in a story, but I also understand the importance of the journey to get to that point.
ekrolo2 wrote:What're some interesting characters you'd put into a Prison Planet-esque arc?
The OG Pilaf Gang.
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Alruneia » Thu Jul 26, 2018 12:59 pm

TheGodfather93 wrote:I always find it both amusing and mildly annoying when people leave reviews or send me PMs asking me what's going to happen later in the story. Questions like who will the villain be and how will they be defeated, how are two people going to get together, will a certain person play a major part in the story, will situation X happen and result in outcome Y etc.

It feels good to know people are so invested in my writing that they're that interested in finding out what happens later, but don't they realise that me telling them would kinda defeat the purpose of writing it into the story?

I definitely understand the feeling of impatience, and wanting to get to the really good stuff in a story, but I also understand the importance of the journey to get to that point.
That's great, congratulations! You've come to a point I'm sure most of us here would love to reach.
Don't tell them anything, of course.
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Kanassa » Fri Jul 27, 2018 4:40 am

Alruneia wrote:
TheGodfather93 wrote:I always find it both amusing and mildly annoying when people leave reviews or send me PMs asking me what's going to happen later in the story. Questions like who will the villain be and how will they be defeated, how are two people going to get together, will a certain person play a major part in the story, will situation X happen and result in outcome Y etc.

It feels good to know people are so invested in my writing that they're that interested in finding out what happens later, but don't they realise that me telling them would kinda defeat the purpose of writing it into the story?

I definitely understand the feeling of impatience, and wanting to get to the really good stuff in a story, but I also understand the importance of the journey to get to that point.
That's great, congratulations! You've come to a point I'm sure most of us here would love to reach.
Don't tell them anything, of course.
Tell them false information
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Alruneia » Fri Jul 27, 2018 8:22 am

Kanassa wrote:
Alruneia wrote:
TheGodfather93 wrote:I always find it both amusing and mildly annoying when people leave reviews or send me PMs asking me what's going to happen later in the story. Questions like who will the villain be and how will they be defeated, how are two people going to get together, will a certain person play a major part in the story, will situation X happen and result in outcome Y etc.

It feels good to know people are so invested in my writing that they're that interested in finding out what happens later, but don't they realise that me telling them would kinda defeat the purpose of writing it into the story?

I definitely understand the feeling of impatience, and wanting to get to the really good stuff in a story, but I also understand the importance of the journey to get to that point.
That's great, congratulations! You've come to a point I'm sure most of us here would love to reach.
Don't tell them anything, of course.
Tell them false information
That'll just lead to messages complaining about every little bit that wasn't true. Unless you're thinking about telling extreme exaggerations and lies that are very obviously not correct, I wouldn't do it.
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:38 pm

I'm surprised Rild hasn't been pointed out as a contender for the Prison Planet since he's literally capable of turning into a planet himself :P
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:43 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:I'm surprised Rild hasn't been pointed out as a contender for the Prison Planet since he's literally capable of turning into a planet himself :P
Who even remembers GT anymore in 2k18?

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:45 pm

Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:I'm surprised Rild hasn't been pointed out as a contender for the Prison Planet since he's literally capable of turning into a planet himself :P
Who even remembers GT anymore in 2k18?
Toei if SS4 Vegetto is any indication :P
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Doctor. » Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:48 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:
Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:I'm surprised Rild hasn't been pointed out as a contender for the Prison Planet since he's literally capable of turning into a planet himself :P
Who even remembers GT anymore in 2k18?
Toei if SS4 Vegetto is any indication :P
Toei remembers money and only money.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by ekrolo2 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 8:35 am

Potentially terrible idea alert!

In case you're not aware, most Dragon Ball crossovers are bad, really bad, EAs business practices type bad with no thought or consideration put into the premise alone much less the actual writing quality. In response to this, I'd like to write a good (or at least) a decent one with a very unlikely series: A Song of Ice and Fire or Game of Thrones if you're more of a TV guy.

The story is as follows: the year is 285 after Aegon's Conquest, a 20-year-old Drogo has been leading his fathers khalasar for three years by this point, rapidly attaining status as an unbeatable khal, a fierce warrior, and known terror across Essos. Riding southward across the Dothraki Sea, Drogo plans to raid the area of Lhazar for plunder and slaves, his approaching sending every settlement there into a wild panic.

Yet, as he and his riders make way to one of the first settlements in the area, across a vast arid plain between themselves and the village, they find a cloaked, heavily bandaged man standing in their way. Standing at over eight feet tall, the man's voice reverberates across the open plain with a shout out of Dothraki legends. The shout warns them to leave this place or suffer humiliation surpassing that of khal Temmo.

Rather than deterring the horde, Drogo orders them to open fire on him. Thousands of arrows fly across the sky towards the cloaked man and with an outstretched hand, he holds them suspended in the air before flicking them downwards. The entire horde, already shocked by this display, almost scatter as they narrowly avoid being cut down by their own arrows launched back at them.

Drogo tries to reorganize them for another attack when the figure flicks his wrist again and all the dirt from the ground consumes the horde in a vortex of dust and dirt. Being a very superstitious people, many Dothraki flees the battle yet many more still fear Drogo over this sorcerer. That is until a scorching heat burns their braids at the neck, removing one of their societies greatest visual signs of power and respect.

The vast majority of the horde, Drogo included, fall off their horses as a further sign of dishonor, propelled by fear of the heat or pushed down by another unseen force. Just as they begin to suffocate in the dust storm, it spins wildly into the air then disperses, as if it never even existed. When Drogo and the shocked horde look back at the masked figure, they see their braids, every single one, collected into a gargantuan pile next to the figure.

In the span of 20 minutes, this figure rendered the famed Dothraki horse charge along with their legendary archery useless, cut off the braids of every single rider and delivered the ultimate insult to them, knocked them off their steads.

When he warned them to leave again, they all listen to him. The figure telekinetically brings the assembled braids to the village as proof of the Dothraki's defeat and all present bow before him and offer him everything, cattle, gold, wine, women,... He just laughs and asks for a glass of water. When he drinks it, they all notice his green skin and fanged teeth.

Such is the story of Khal Drogo's first, and only military defeat.

And yes, this is the Nameless Namekian pre-splitting into Kami & Piccolo. Thoughts?
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by GT_Goten10 » Wed Aug 08, 2018 10:38 am

Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:I'm surprised Rild hasn't been pointed out as a contender for the Prison Planet since he's literally capable of turning into a planet himself :P
Who even remembers GT anymore in 2k18?
Lol
GT Fighter

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Alruneia » Sat Aug 11, 2018 6:35 pm

What are the strangest places you've gone for inspiration?
I thought it'd be a good idea to look at some shoot-em-up games (bullet hells or whatever you want to call them) to get inspiration for some energy attacks, but suddenly I'm an hour into a Touhou gameplay video and I'm pretty sure the character I was making has become more of a Touhou OC than a Dragon Ball OC at this point. :shifty: Though maybe that could be interesting? I don't think anyone in Dragon Ball uses "bullet hell attacks". The closest thing I can think of is Piccolo's Hellzone Grenade.
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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by Jackalope89 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 10:16 pm

Not sure. Sometimes the ideas will just come as I write, other times, they'll pop up randomly.

Have you ever come across a story with a pretty good idea, but the execution is just painful to read? Be it typos, bad grammar, poor paragraphing, or mischaracterization?

I've seen a few. And often times, the mischaracterizations come from another author's mischaracterization from another story.

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Re: General Fan Fiction Thread

Post by TheGodfather93 » Sun Aug 12, 2018 2:25 am

Jackalope89 wrote:Have you ever come across a story with a pretty good idea, but the execution is just painful to read? Be it typos, bad grammar, poor paragraphing, or mischaracterization?
Yes, and it's honestly tragic. In all my years reading fanfiction, I have come across several stories with fantastic premises that are 100k+ words long (which I prefer), that I just couldn't get into because of the way there were written.

To list an example, there was a Pokemon fic I found a while back that had an amazing concept, but switched between third person and first person POV in its writing. Even though the POV switches were clearly defined by breaks in the writing, as someone who likes writing to be consistent, this was a huge turn off for me. I simply couldn't continue past the first chapter.

Poor grammar is also something I can find hard to deal with, but unless the grammar is absolutely atrocious, I can look past it if the story itself is interesting. In these instances, I like to mention that in my reviews in the hope that the writer will make an effort to improve.

Mischaracterisation, however, is something I can't stand, and I've had to drop multiple fics because of it. In the DB and Naruto fandoms in particular, some characters get so much hate that the writers go out of their way to grossly exaggerate their flaws, and even create new ones on top of them, just so they have more ammunition to bash them. I know this is fanfiction in the end, but I still find it incredibly petty and immature. Chi-Chi is a frequent victim of this.
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