So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

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So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by Fionordequester » Mon Sep 02, 2019 4:39 pm

This is something I've been thinking about today. As despicable as Vic is, there are people who've been deeply touched by his willingness to reach out and give hugs, or a hand on their shoulder, and other gestures like that.

There are people who've been creeped out by that as well... but, Vic has a small army of under-age girls with him for a reason.

So, who's the ideal Vic Mignogna? One with all the charm, and none of the selfish narcissism?

Would it be the same, except he cuts out the lewd jokes? Would he also ask first, like he did at 4:48 of this vid?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hIFmk8MRmOs&t=290s

That's certainly where I'd start. Note that this isn't going into the behind-the-scenes stuff. We're sticking JUST with how he interacts with fans.

So, how do we turn this broken staircase into the perfect staircase? That's the question, here. Discuss away!
Kataphrut wrote:It's a bit of a Boy Who Cried Wolf situation to me...Basically, the boy shouldn't have cried wolf when the wolves just wanted to Go See Yamcha. If not, they might have gotten some help when the wolves came back to Make the Donuts.
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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by Kokonoe » Mon Sep 02, 2019 4:59 pm

Make it more about the upper part of your body, the gesture of a hug. Problem with Vic is he's like rubbing his dong on them as he hugs them in a lot of pictures. Or he's embracing them as if it's his wife, just way too smothering.

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by DragonBallFoodie » Mon Sep 02, 2019 5:11 pm

Briefly, your arms in the upper body, not too hard or soft.
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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by Gyt Kaliba » Mon Sep 02, 2019 5:24 pm

I would also say that, even just for the 'motion of a hug' hugs, where an arm is over the shoulders and the hand is on their shoulder, or even just hovering above it, it should always be made extremely clear prior to the contact that both parties involved are okay with it. And if it's someone under age, then it should be made extremely clear if it's okay with parents or guardians as well, just to make sure everyone is very aware of what's happening.

For Vic himself? Yeah, he probably shouldn't even be hand-shaking people at this point.
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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by WittyUsername » Mon Sep 02, 2019 7:33 pm

I don’t mean to sound like a dick, but does this need to be its own separate topic?

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by jjgp1112 » Mon Sep 02, 2019 7:40 pm

....why is this a thread.
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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by Kataphrut » Mon Sep 02, 2019 7:44 pm

Keanu Reeves has got the right idea:
This probably should have gone in the Vic thread. But now that we're here, I'll say it turns out it's quite easy for a 50-something year old man with a fanbase of young women to show affection without crossing personal boundaries. So there's really no excuse.

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by ABED » Mon Sep 02, 2019 7:49 pm

I don't think you have to go that far, but it's common sense. If someone looks uncomfortable, you're doing it wrong.
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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by JulieYBM » Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:21 pm

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by Fionordequester » Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:28 pm

I thought about making this it's own separate thread, but... I think it's pretty important. One of my friends on Twitter has a clear emotional attachment to Vic. He talks about how special he wa talking about how special it was for hugging fans and making them feel special.

So once Vic loses, and the loss finally sinks in for #ISWV, I predict a lot of people echoing the same sentiment, wishing people weren't so "paranoid" about the lightest of contact. Kind of like that whole speech Vic made in the video.

So, I think it's really important to know exactly what proper interaction looks like, you know? That Keanu Reeves thing, for example, is a beautiful example. It shows "no, you CAN be affectionate with fans, and we're NOT being overly reactionary. The blame's all on Mignogna".
Kataphrut wrote:It's a bit of a Boy Who Cried Wolf situation to me...Basically, the boy shouldn't have cried wolf when the wolves just wanted to Go See Yamcha. If not, they might have gotten some help when the wolves came back to Make the Donuts.
Chuquita wrote:I liken Gokû Black to "guy can't stand his job, so instead of quitting and finding a job he likes, he instead sets fire not only to his workplace so he doesn't have to work there, but tries setting fire to every store in the franchise of that company".

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by TheatreStyleKai » Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:44 pm

I'm reminded of a story a friend of mine shared with me just a few years ago. She's a hugger; she loves to give hugs out to just about everyone she knows, and she was going to a con to meet a guest celebrity and get her photo taken hugging him. She was really confused when he told her, as gently as he could "no hugs, just firm handshakes". She was really disappointed but I understood perfectly, it's a liability that most men don't need and can't afford.

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by WittyUsername » Mon Sep 02, 2019 9:09 pm

Personally, if I was a VA (or an actor in general), I wouldn’t even interact with fans. No hugs, no pictures, no handshakes, not even autograph signings.

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by sailorspazz » Mon Sep 02, 2019 9:20 pm

While assisting Kara Edwards at a signing, I saw that she always asked before offering hugs. It's really as simple as that, to first find out if they even want a hug (because there are people who aren't very touchy feely and just generally don't like hugging), and then while you're hugging, make sure you're not like pressing your whole body against them in a way that would come across as overtly sexual.

There are Vic stans trying to equate unwanted hugs with just accidentally bumping against someone on the street, and saying people would call that harassment too :roll: This is really just about proper boundaries, something Mr. "silence is consent" clearly has no clue about.
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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by KBABZ » Mon Sep 02, 2019 9:31 pm

TheatreStyleKai wrote:
Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:44 pm
I'm reminded of a story a friend of mine shared with me just a few years ago. She's a hugger; she loves to give hugs out to just about everyone she knows, and she was going to a con to meet a guest celebrity and get her photo taken hugging him. She was really confused when he told her, as gently as he could "no hugs, just firm handshakes". She was really disappointed but I understood perfectly, it's a liability that most men don't need and can't afford.
Being on the spectrum, I figure that it's a possibility that he doesn't enjoy physical contact either; I'm usually okay with it but there are plenty of people like me who don't (and it isn't just an Autism thing).

As for how to correctly make a hug on a stranger (yes, VAs and people you've followed on the internet for years count as strangers), here's a step-by-step:
  1. Make sure you're hygenically prepared for the event (easy to find rule breakers of this at cons). If you're stinky, don't even offer/accept the hug.
  2. Ask first. Consensuality aside, some don't take surprise hugs well even when all the other steps are done correctly, while others just don't enjoy physical contact.
  3. Arms go over or under the shoulders. Don't squeeze, you aren't sponges remember.
  4. Be mindful of where your hands are resting. If you're unsure, don't risk it and follow Keanu's example instead by hovering your hands away from the body.
  5. As mentioned earlier, hugs are all about the upper body and the arms. Pelvic thrusting/grinding does not count.
  6. Hugs are quiet, so no whispers or talking.

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by JulieYBM » Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:15 pm

JulieYBM wrote:
Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:21 pm
"With consent." -- Kendamu
"With consent." -- Kendamu's Wife.

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by Fionordequester » Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:43 pm

Who's Kendamu, now?
Kataphrut wrote:It's a bit of a Boy Who Cried Wolf situation to me...Basically, the boy shouldn't have cried wolf when the wolves just wanted to Go See Yamcha. If not, they might have gotten some help when the wolves came back to Make the Donuts.
Chuquita wrote:I liken Gokû Black to "guy can't stand his job, so instead of quitting and finding a job he likes, he instead sets fire not only to his workplace so he doesn't have to work there, but tries setting fire to every store in the franchise of that company".

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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by Dr. Casey » Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:09 am

I'd probably just stick to handshakes or quick pats on the shoulder with people I don't know, since the chances of anyone being made uncomfortable by those things will be slimmer. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by overstepping their boundaries, but going "Can I hug you?" before a hug sounds kind of awkward, to be honest - I'd sooner just pass over the whole hugging thing altogether.
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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by Kunzait_83 » Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:30 am

KBABZ wrote:
Mon Sep 02, 2019 9:31 pm
  1. Make sure you're hygenically prepared for the event (easy to find rule breakers of this at cons). If you're stinky, don't even offer/accept the hug.
  2. Ask first. Consensuality aside, some don't take surprise hugs well even when all the other steps are done correctly, while others just don't enjoy physical contact.
  3. Arms go over or under the shoulders. Don't squeeze, you aren't sponges remember.
  4. Be mindful of where your hands are resting. If you're unsure, don't risk it and follow Keanu's example instead by hovering your hands away from the body.
  5. As mentioned earlier, hugs are all about the upper body and the arms. Pelvic thrusting/grinding does not count.
What's particularly sad about this is that all of the above listed items are generally incredibly basic, BASIC pieces of social etiquette that you'd be taught as early on in life as preschool and kindergarten.

When hugging a stranger (mind you, this is assuming in the first place that you're ever in a situation with someone where it might seem even VAGUELY appropriate to do so), ask first. And don't rest your hand on their butt or lower-hips. And don't fucking grind against them with your crotch.

Like... this is NOT particularly earth-shattering, revelatory stuff. This is "Fundamental Basics of Interacting With Strangers in the Outside World 101" that should've been instilled in you starting around age 4 or 5. "Keep your hands to yourself" is like, on the list of classroom rules in pretty much EVERY fucking kindergarten class across the country, and its something that doesn't suddenly become irrelevant and inapplicable throughout life once you hit puberty or whatnot.

When so many people (especially online and in "nerd culture" circles) act as if this stuff is somehow "bizarre" or that they're "insane and nonsensical new arbitrary rules that SJW libtards just suddenly came up with recently because they're too oversensitive"... THAT take is what's not only just bizarre and strange, but downright fucking indicative of something being mentally or emotionally (certainly behaviorally) broken in the person saying that.

Like... this is PRESCHOOL level basics of how to function in day to day life. If you don't have this stuff down and you're a TEN YEAR OLD, its a serious problem. If you're 20 or 30 or older and can't hack any of this? You should maybe think about seeking SOME form or other of psychiatric help. I'm not kidding here. Either there are unaddressed mental/emotional issues at play here, or someone somewhere along the way fucked up REALLY terribly when raising you.

Either way though, not being fundamentally capable of wrapping one's mind around something as basic in life as "ask someone who's a perfect stranger to you if they're comfortable with a hug before hugging them, and don't grope at or rub up against their lower extremities while doing so"... that's maybe only just a couple notches away from being a grown adult who isn't mentally capable of handling a task as simple, basic, and necessary as wiping themselves in the bathroom properly. That goes for whether you're a real celebrity, a minor celebrity, a random everyday person, or whatever else.

And the truly sad part about this is that... despite all that, I still 100% COMPLETELY GET why this thread needed to be created now in 2019. And the fact that it did is a BEYOND sad and damning indictment of where we are right now culturally/societally.
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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by 8000 Saiyan » Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:50 am

A hug that doesn't make someone uncomfortable. Simple as that.
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Re: So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

Post by KBABZ » Tue Sep 03, 2019 3:14 am

Kunzait_83 wrote:
Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:30 am
KBABZ wrote:
Mon Sep 02, 2019 9:31 pm
  1. Make sure you're hygenically prepared for the event (easy to find rule breakers of this at cons). If you're stinky, don't even offer/accept the hug.
  2. Ask first. Consensuality aside, some don't take surprise hugs well even when all the other steps are done correctly, while others just don't enjoy physical contact.
  3. Arms go over or under the shoulders. Don't squeeze, you aren't sponges remember.
  4. Be mindful of where your hands are resting. If you're unsure, don't risk it and follow Keanu's example instead by hovering your hands away from the body.
  5. As mentioned earlier, hugs are all about the upper body and the arms. Pelvic thrusting/grinding does not count.
What's particularly sad about this is that all of the above listed items are generally incredibly basic, BASIC pieces of social etiquette that you'd be taught as early on in life as preschool and kindergarten.
What's even sadder is that, as stated, I have Autism and I've known all that stuff for ages. I'M supposed to be the one stumbling through this social shit like Mr. Satan in a library, but here we are where I have a better grasp of it than most NTs (neurotypicals).

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