So how does one *correctly* hug their fans?

[Polyphase Avatron]

Hey now, let's not drag Otaku shit down here. Your average Otaku who beats it to doujinshi and hentai will be the first one to be polite to strangers. It's the socially isolated from community and social responsibility western fans that do the bitching and moaning about "duh essjaydubblews" making their lives oh-so hard. There aren't that many Otaku in the west, anyway. >_>

It's more likely due to propaganda, i.e. someone hears a story of a man being accused of sexual harassment for doing something completely innocent like asking the time, and they just believe that by word of mouth, when in reality either it never happened, or that was just how the person was trying to spin it later on (i.e. only mentioning that he asked the time and not mentioning that he groped her while doing so or something). It's a lot like the Vic jelly bean thing - to hear the ISWV side tell it, he did absolutely nothing wrong other than make the jelly bean joke, and all of this controversy is only about that.

[omegacwa]

But I mean really: what does anyone seriously expect from a fan community that's as filled to the brim as this one is with so many socially inept and emotionally-stunted introverts whose near ENTIRE framework and conception of social interaction often tends to stem largely and overwhelmingly from vapid, godawful harem and ecchi anime that exist almost solely as bizarre and creepy jerkoff fantasies for developmentally crippled Otaku?

You're basically describing Social Isolation which is becoming more and more of a problem in this modern internet age. I have a friend that I used to live with who as soon as he would get home from work would immediately sit on his computer and play video games until he had to go to sleep. Sometimes I'd have to prod him just to sit and talk or hang out with me instead. This isn't even an extreme case.

A lot of people nowadays think that having "friends" on the internet or on social media is enough. Well it isn't. You don't learn empathy and real understanding of social situations through text, and voice, alone. This kind of social isolation is what has lead to a lot of problems in today's society. Trolling has turned to hate groups, lonely "losers" have found a voice through violence.

It's not a causation, but one can not deny the increase in hatred, violence, and especially mass shootings, since the advent of the internet, and more specifically social media.

I personally recommend for people to delete their facebook and twitter accounts, and avoid videos on youtube that involve politics for a week or so and see how different you feel.

I have personally done this and it has made a big difference in my life. You realize how little this petty shit actually affects your life on a day to day basis.

[Polyphase Avatron]

It's not a causation, but one can not deny the increase in hatred, violence, and especially mass shootings, since the advent of the internet, and more specifically social media.

One most certainly can. There are entire books and article arguing it:

https://towardsdatascience.com/has-glob ... f708f47fba

[JulieYBM]

The internet is wonderful. It gave me the courage I needed to hatch, transition, explore my sexuality and move to the left. Without it I never would have met true friends, grown as a thinker or fallen in love. The problem is that we need more good speech, not to cut the cord. That will just isolate us from the world.

[omegacwa]

The internet is wonderful. It gave me the courage I needed to hatch, transition, explore my sexuality and move to the left. Without it I never would have met true friends, grown as a thinker or fallen in love. The problem is that we need more good speech, not to cut the cord. That will just isolate us from the world.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction I suppose.

I'm not advocating for cutting the cord as you say, but I feel like social media specifically has become all about turning molehills into mountains. Taking minor things and blowing them way out of proportion. People are also taking isolated incidents and applying them to their own life when it would never, or could never happen to them. Just because something happened to person A, doesn't mean it will happen to person B and that person B should live in fear, every day, of it happening to them.

Also for every "social outcast" who finds a great support system and improves their life, there is probably a person in a similar situation that ends up basically being brainwashed by a hate group and ends up committing violence. Luckily people finding positive interaction seems to be the majority but it seems like the second group continues to grow.

[Bebi Hatchiyack]

But it was as expected I suppose ? PC + Social Media + SJW have made a lot of people scared to act normally. We are in a era that even asking someone for the time can label you as harrassing people (true story)

I dunno, maybe it was all the assault that did it?

Are you for real? Are you seriously saying this in all seriousness as a serious person? If this isn't just failed performance art, it's extremely concerning.

See Cursed Lemon's response above:

One of the biggest idiot myths perpetuated by MRAs/alt-righters/etc. is the idea that physical interaction with other people, especially friendly strangers - namely women - is this bizarre and infinitely complex ritual that no man could ever hope to see all the way to the bottom of and for which all paths spiral over the legal event horizon toward a sexual harassment allegation.

It's not. It never fucking has been.

It is thunderingly obvious what kind of physical touch is warranted, and it is extremely easy to tell in an organic way when it is appropriate, where three pages of legal documentation is not required before proceeding. On occasion may you accidentally put your toe over the line (that is, not leaping across it whole-hog)? Possibly. Then you simply confer that you know what you did and apologize. It's not a god damn death warrant.

Return the sentiment given in proportion. It's. Not. Hard.

But it was as expected I suppose ? PC + Social Media + SJW have made a lot of people scared to act normally.

PROTIP: If your definition of "acting normally" consists of suddenly and without warning hugging, kissing, groping, bodily rubbing up against, and soliciting the phone numbers of most every young girl you happen to meet or come into contact with (particularly underage girls), then guess what? You're NOT in fact actually acting anywhere within the faintest ZIPCODE of "normal". And if that somehow isn't INSTANTLY and immediately self-evident to someone, then they should seek immediate professional help, ASAP.

That SO many people (that are ostensibly grown-ass adults) even NEED to be told these fundamental barebones basics of social interaction, and that so many of these same people indeed act as if these are somehow byzantine, arcane rules and wildly shifting goalposts that are impossible to keep up with... its nothing short of staggering, depressing, and pathetic.

But I mean really: what does anyone seriously expect from a fan community that's as filled to the brim as this one is with so many socially inept and emotionally-stunted introverts whose near ENTIRE framework and conception of social interaction often tends to stem largely and overwhelmingly from vapid, godawful harem and ecchi anime that exist almost solely as bizarre and creepy jerkoff fantasies for developmentally crippled Otaku?

I think you two have not seen my sentence in brackets I will highlight it again

(It's obvious that you hug someone with consent)

As for the rest I stand correct that we are living in a era overwatch by Social Justice Media and Over the top overzealous watchdog that watch the little tiny bits of what you do all in purpose to frame people if they don't act like a certain group of people agenda.

A clear example of something that happened in my city in a Tram, I've been cheeling on my chair browsing my phone when a guy asked a girl for just his direction, he wanted to know where to drop at the right station, the girl asked, tell him rudely to get lost and that she don't speak to ugly people. Poor guy just wanted an information and didn't do anything than just that. An old grandma then helped the lad.

And again my post as nothing to do about vic mignona because this dude and what he did I have no fucking idea on the subject since I am French. How can a French know shit about Vic like seriously ? My post was in general and wide sens.

And when I say that we are too much psychological, I meant that today when I'm in the street, for example, I do not even dare to approach a woman. Who says to me that I will not have a problem to approach a woman just because I would have asked for my way or that I would have liked to make a compliment to her. Todays world with all this Social Justice all those #MeToo and others mouvement makes me scare like shit to expresse myself as man.

Wrost I'm white and straight I feel like I am the evil of this modern society and that I must paid for past slavery, past misogynistic behavior and past stuff that religion did toward gay people.

I am genuinly scared. Thus I don't do shit and stay most of the time alone. Because alone is the only way to never hurt someone.

Hope I was clear in my explanation ? English is not my mother tongue after all. I'm not sure of myself when it comes to long text in English.

[omegacwa]

As for the rest I stand correct that we are living in a era overwatch by Social Justice Media and Over the top overzealous watchdog that watch the little tiny bits of what you do all in purpose to frame people if they don't act like a certain group of people agenda.

A clear example of something that happened in my city in a Tram, I've been cheeling on my chair browsing my phone when a guy asked a girl for just his direction, he wanted to know where to drop at the right station, the girl asked, tell him rudely to get lost and that she don't speak to ugly people. Poor guy just wanted an information and didn't do anything than just that. An old grandma then helped the lad.

And again my post as nothing to do about vic mignona because this dude and what he did I have no fucking idea on the subject since I am French. How can a French know shit about Vic like seriously ? My post was in general and wide sens.

And when I say that we are too much psychological, I meant that today when I'm in the street, for example, I do not even dare to approach a woman. Who says to me that I will not have a problem to approach a woman just because I would have asked for my way or that I would have liked to make a compliment to her. Todays world with all this Social Justice all those #MeToo and others mouvement makes me scare like shit to expresse myself as man.

Wrost I'm white and straight I feel like I am the evil of this modern society and that I must paid for past slavery, past misogynistic behavior and past stuff that religion did toward gay people.

I am genuinly scared. Thus I don't do shit and stay most of the time alone. Because alone is the only way to never hurt someone.

Hope I was clear in my explanation ? English is not my mother tongue after all. I'm not sure of myself when it comes to long text in English.

I understand where you are coming from. I guess luckily I'm in my mid thirties and married so most of this kind of drama is past me. I can't imagine being a teenager nowadays with all the social media. Back when I was a teenager the internet was still pretty new and some of us had AoL and I did talk to some girls I knew at school through there. God knows what kind of stupid things I probably said. I do recall asking a girl out and she told me I was fat and ugly. But now kids have access to each other 24/7 and can look at pictures and message each other constantly. When you're a teenager you're awkward and figuring out social norms. The internet has made this an extremely strange situation and I think we as a society are still kind of learning the ropes.

[Polyphase Avatron]

A clear example of something that happened in my city in a Tram, I've been cheeling on my chair browsing my phone when a guy asked a girl for just his direction, he wanted to know where to drop at the right station, the girl asked, tell him rudely to get lost and that she don't speak to ugly people. Poor guy just wanted an information and didn't do anything than just that. An old grandma then helped the lad.

That's just a person being rude. I don't see how it in any way supports your narrative.

[JulieYBM]

Maybe the simple truth of the matter is to be gay and do crimes?

I understand it's difficult to just ask someone before entering physical contact, an action that requires steadfastly more effort than simply asking someone but perhaps we can learn to exert that extra effort so as not to sexually harass young girls and adults.?

[Bebi Hatchiyack]

As for the rest I stand correct that we are living in a era overwatch by Social Justice Media and Over the top overzealous watchdog that watch the little tiny bits of what you do all in purpose to frame people if they don't act like a certain group of people agenda.

A clear example of something that happened in my city in a Tram, I've been cheeling on my chair browsing my phone when a guy asked a girl for just his direction, he wanted to know where to drop at the right station, the girl asked, tell him rudely to get lost and that she don't speak to ugly people. Poor guy just wanted an information and didn't do anything than just that. An old grandma then helped the lad.

And again my post as nothing to do about vic mignona because this dude and what he did I have no fucking idea on the subject since I am French. How can a French know shit about Vic like seriously ? My post was in general and wide sens.

And when I say that we are too much psychological, I meant that today when I'm in the street, for example, I do not even dare to approach a woman. Who says to me that I will not have a problem to approach a woman just because I would have asked for my way or that I would have liked to make a compliment to her. Todays world with all this Social Justice all those #MeToo and others mouvement makes me scare like shit to expresse myself as man.

Wrost I'm white and straight I feel like I am the evil of this modern society and that I must paid for past slavery, past misogynistic behavior and past stuff that religion did toward gay people.

I am genuinly scared. Thus I don't do shit and stay most of the time alone. Because alone is the only way to never hurt someone.

Hope I was clear in my explanation ? English is not my mother tongue after all. I'm not sure of myself when it comes to long text in English.

I understand where you are coming from. I guess luckily I'm in my mid thirties and married so most of this kind of drama is past me. I can't imagine being a teenager nowadays with all the social media. Back when I was a teenager the internet was still pretty new and some of us had AoL and I did talk to some girls I knew at school through there. God knows what kind of stupid things I probably said. I do recall asking a girl out and she told me I was fat and ugly. But now kids have access to each other 24/7 and can look at pictures and message each other constantly. When you're a teenager you're awkward and figuring out social norms. The internet has made this an extremely strange situation and I think we as a society are still kind of learning the ropes.

Thank you for understanding and I am also in my mid thirties but single sadly and no kids. And I am totally agreeing with this part "The internet has made this an extremely strange situation and I think we as a society are still kind of learning the ropes." For me it's an hassle giving my personnal handicap.

[omegacwa]

Maybe the simple truth of the matter is to be gay and do crimes?

I hate to be that guy, but what is the context of this statement? You didn't reply to anyone.

[MajinMan]

99% of people bitching about how “hard” it is these days to talk to women or whatever have probably never even attempted to do so in their entire life. Like, what’s the issue here? People are now scared to ask for directions from a woman? Please, I promise you nothing bad will happen 99% of the time as long as you’re behaving like a normal human being. They’re not going to kill you and steal your lunch money.

[Kendamu]

It's not that hard to ask me (one of those mysterious "women" that roam the wilds of Forever 21) for a hug if we meet at a public event. If I say yes, then you do it like a normal non-creepy person does. Of course, this is an offshoot of the whole Vic thing so we'll just get right to it.

Wanna make sure you dont end up like Vic? Here's a good starting point: Don't reach out and touch my chest within two minutes of meeting me while I'm talking to a mutual friend.

[Fionordequester]

It's not that hard to ask me (one of those mysterious "women" that roam the wilds of Forever 21) for a hug if we meet at a public event. If I say yes, then you do it like a normal non-creepy person does. Of course, this is an offshoot of the whole Vic thing so we'll just get right to it.

Wanna make sure you dont end up like Vic? Here's a good starting point: Don't reach out and touch my chest within two minutes of meeting me while I'm talking to a mutual friend.

Interesting... You'd be ok with a stranger asking you for a hug? I wanna be sure on that; I wanna get a girlfriend some day!

[Kendamu]

Like I said: At a public event? Sure! I'm not that popular, but i do have some fans and followers as well as online friends that I may not necessarily recognize in person. In that scenario, just ask!

If you try me at Starbucks or something, I might be a little more reluctant. But the important thing is that you get consent beforehand. If I say "no" then that's it. No physical contact. It's easy!

Just don't reach out and touch me inappropriately.

[Super Sonic]

It's not that hard to ask me (one of those mysterious "women" that roam the wilds of Forever 21) for a hug if we meet at a public event. If I say yes, then you do it like a normal non-creepy person does. Of course, this is an offshoot of the whole Vic thing so we'll just get right to it.

Wanna make sure you dont end up like Vic? Here's a good starting point: Don't reach out and touch my chest within two minutes of meeting me while I'm talking to a mutual friend.

Interesting... You'd be ok with a stranger asking you for a hug? I wanna be sure on that; I wanna get a girlfriend some day!

Haven't been to anime cons? There, including folks who I later became friends with, been hugged by folks so many times I've lost count. Not by folks I don't know so much these days. Just haven't been asked or asked much. Though still remember a few times where I got glomped by olks who liked my Barrett costume.