How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by JulieYBM » Fri Jan 28, 2022 12:12 pm

Lads, take it from a woman, when you approach a woman outside of a designated area for flirting, she's going to lie like a motherfucker and smile just enough to not get stalked and murdered.
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by Saiya6Cit » Fri Jan 28, 2022 1:24 pm

the older you get, the harder dating is

I guess it's different on each country and it also depends on the socioeconomical level and education, for example in the south of mexico people is expected to marry have a job and have children since they are 18, whilst in the northern side of the country they are expected to first complete university, maybe some specialization degree, get a steady job and then marry/start a family at around the age of 30-35.Also many families are catholics so if you get our of your parents house you are not a "nice kid" anymore. A lot of people is fake and pretend.

Then at some point, you will start meeting people who already have children or at least one divorce so it will only complicate things even more... but It also depends on what you are looking fore. Having a partner can be fun when you are a teen or in your 20s, but anyone can be next to you when you are young and healthy, the challenging part starts once you are over 30 and start to have signs of age and some illness appear.. etc. You need some other adult to be there for you. Some one reliable and mature, so if your partnet does not like anime, cosplay and DB I think it's ok, as long as the other parts are covered and you can get lots of friends for that.

There are many women over 30 years old who love dragon ball but also don't expect that such women would fit into the general standards of being feminine or etc.

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by Gaffer Tape » Fri Jan 28, 2022 1:46 pm

I'm kinda with Julie on this one. I've never really understood how someone could or would want to ask out a complete stranger in an environment that is not specifically catered to that. They are strangers. You don't know the first thing about them. How can you possibly know whether they are a romantic fit for you? The attraction would have to be purely physical, which is not really a basis for anything except sex. I recently saw a friend rant about how someone had tried to hit on her at the grocery store because she was understandably frustrated and concerned at having her task interrupted by a horny stranger who wanted to hook up. There are simply environments (most of them) where flirting with a stranger is not welcome, not appropriate, and doesn't feel safe.

I actually had this happen to me for the first time in my life just a few months ago. I was at an airport, alone, in a sundress with a broken strap, and had a man follow me around multiple times. He murmured compliments at and around me before finally directly expressing attraction to me and a desire to take it further. I turned him down. He was cordial and went away. I don't think he expressly crossed a line. And, yes, there was a part of me that was flattered. However, I was also stressed out the entire time, desperately trying to find other people to strike up conversations with because I felt I was being stalked. And since he couldn't know me at all, I felt I was being fetishized. I probably was. Ultimately, I didn't feel terribly unsafe because I was in a public airport. But the point is, you just don't know what the intentions of the other person are, what they're capable of, and how they're going to react if you turn them down.

Compliments are great. I love receiving them. I love giving them. Everyone should compliment people. I compliment strangers all the time. The difference is, a true compliment doesn't carry a string of expectation. You say something nice, and you move on. Compliments become scary when the recipient realizes that it's only being said as an opening line in order to get something from the recipient.

So as to the main topic, I have to agree with those who have said that making friends at conventions or other like-minded social gatherings is a good first step to a potential romance. Meeting people and allowing an attraction based on trust, friendship, and shared interests to naturally develop before pursuing romance is a good thing to do. Likewise, using a dating app to find a potential romantic partner with shared interests, where everyone knows they're there for the same purpose, is also a good avenue to explore. However, spotting a random woman at a Target who has an anime charm on her purse is not a decent justification to "turn on the moves."
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by goku the krump dancer » Fri Jan 28, 2022 1:58 pm

Talking just enough to get away is a defense mechanism sure but that doesn't mean you cant or shouldn't approach people in public, I've gotten phone numbers from pharmacy techs, uber drivers, uber passengers, women I've met at the airport, in super markets, in the laundromat and a multitude of other everyday situations. Your ability to talk to people and make them feel comfortable will generally over power any weird stigmas they may have in their head.

Besides, even considering "designated flirt areas" like bars/nightclubs/lounges and dating apps there're still plenty of ladies who claim to only use them for platonic purposes and don't want to be approached romantically but even that's cap because again all it takes is the right guy to approach and he still gets the number.

Its literally all in your approach and again you'll never know if a person is interested unless you make your intentions clear, an anime convention is no different than a mall or supermarket, you and your person of interest by default have something in common because you're at the same place.
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by Cure Dragon 255 » Fri Jan 28, 2022 2:16 pm

I stand with Julie on this one. You are a guy, you cant really tell the fear a woman goes through in these kinds of situations.
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by ChibiGoku » Fri Jan 28, 2022 2:30 pm

goku the krump dancer wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 1:58 pm Talking just enough to get away is a defense mechanism sure but that doesn't mean you cant or shouldn't approach people in public, I've gotten phone numbers from pharmacy techs, uber drivers, uber passengers, women I've met at the airport, in super markets, in the laundromat and a multitude of other everyday situations. Your ability to talk to people and make them feel comfortable will generally over power any weird stigmas they may have in their head.

Besides, even considering "designated flirt areas" like bars/nightclubs/lounges and dating apps there're still plenty of ladies who claim to only use them for platonic purposes and don't want to be approached romantically but even that's cap because again all it takes is the right guy to approach and he still gets the number.

Its literally all in your approach and again you'll never know if a person is interested unless you make your intentions clear, an anime convention is no different than a mall or supermarket, you and your person of interest by default have something in common because you're at the same place.

I'm going to be blunt. This is from a Queer Man who has developmental, PTSD, is neurodivergent, and among other issues perspective but this is my thoughts on it:

When you approach someone completely unprompted, especially outside of specific social circles, it can trigger panic, fight or flight, and other responses. Many times this is an incredibly dangerous situation for us, as our responses could be read the wrong way and potentially put us (and potentially the individual approaching) in a bad situation. I've had terrible experiences with people and despite trying to work on my social skills, by trying to put myself into situations, sometimes forced, it doesn't end well for me and often pushes me further away. And by approaching in an unwanted way, could possibly be damaging to the individual.

As someone who has a long history of mental health issues, among PTSD, serious social issues, anxiety, etc., I can only speak on behalf of my experiences. But if it's anything like that, trying to push or force yourself into a conversation with someone, you're likely going to do more damage.

Also.. Want to bring attention to this bolded bit...
Besides, even considering "designated flirt areas" like bars/nightclubs/lounges and dating apps there're still plenty of ladies who claim to only use them for platonic purposes and don't want to be approached romantically but even that's cap because again all it takes is the right guy to approach and he still gets the number.
I really don't know why you're thinking this way, but the idea that it takes the "right guy" to get someone's number in situations where women are disinterested really bothers me. It kinda feels like "If you know the right moves, you can get in their pants" kinda attitude. And that shit really bothers me.

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by JulieYBM » Fri Jan 28, 2022 2:45 pm

Gaffer Tape wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 1:46 pm I'm kinda with Julie on this one. I've never really understood how someone could or would want to ask out a complete stranger in an environment that is not specifically catered to that. They are strangers. You don't know the first thing about them. How can you possibly know whether they are a romantic fit for you? The attraction would have to be purely physical, which is not really a basis for anything except sex. I recently saw a friend rant about how someone had tried to hit on her at the grocery store because she was understandably frustrated and concerned at having her task interrupted by a horny stranger who wanted to hook up. There are simply environments (most of them) where flirting with a stranger is not welcome, not appropriate, and doesn't feel safe.

I actually had this happen to me for the first time in my life just a few months ago. I was at an airport, alone, in a sundress with a broken strap, and had a man follow me around multiple times. He murmured compliments at and around me before finally directly expressing attraction to me and a desire to take it further. I turned him down. He was cordial and went away. I don't think he expressly crossed a line. And, yes, there was a part of me that was flattered. However, I was also stressed out the entire time, desperately trying to find other people to strike up conversations with because I felt I was being stalked. And since he couldn't know me at all, I felt I was being fetishized. I probably was. Ultimately, I didn't feel terribly unsafe because I was in a public airport. But the point is, you just don't know what the intentions of the other person are, what they're capable of, and how they're going to react if you turn them down.

Compliments are great. I love receiving them. I love giving them. Everyone should compliment people. I compliment strangers all the time. The difference is, a true compliment doesn't carry a string of expectation. You say something nice, and you move on. Compliments become scary when the recipient realizes that it's only being said as an opening line in order to get something from the recipient.

So as to the main topic, I have to agree with those who have said that making friends at conventions or other like-minded social gatherings is a good first step to a potential romance. Meeting people and allowing an attraction based on trust, friendship, and shared interests to naturally develop before pursuing romance is a good thing to do. Likewise, using a dating app to find a potential romantic partner with shared interests, where everyone knows they're there for the same purpose, is also a good avenue to explore. However, spotting a random woman at a Target who has an anime charm on her purse is not a decent justification to "turn on the moves."
Christ, that airport situation sounds scary as Hell. I was legit at a 7-Eleven last night in the dark while wearing a dress and scared of how men would treat me. Whether I would be fetishized or assaulted I would either way be super uncomfortable. Luckily I made it in-and-out of the place quickly and without incident.

***

Quick aside, since I do work with the public, when I get compliments on, say, my mask or my nails, it's usually from women or other obviously queer people. I can tell "Okay, I'm not in any danger here" because no cishet motherfucker knows what the trans pride mask is or even pays attention to all my buttons on my uniform. It's cool! It's nice! What isn't cool or nice is the men twice my age infantilizing me or treating me like a space alien. Or making passes at me.

***

Dating in your thirties is scary. I get it! I had zero desire to ever date or be intimate with someone until I was OP's age so I understand what it's like to feel like you're stuck out on an island in the middle of nowhere. I'm literally learning stuff now that I should have been learning in 2005. I suggest looking for spaces clearly designated for that sort of thing. Then I suggest not actually thinking too much about hobby shit. Yeah, obviously you don't want a partner who is going to rag on you for liking cartoons in your thirties. That really can't be the only thing you look for in a relationship, though. Women are real, human people and we want partners who have lives outside of their hobbies.

The awkward conversations in dating/flirting spaces sure can be...awkward, though. Like. Really. Awkward.
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by WittyUsername » Fri Jan 28, 2022 4:17 pm

I would assume they have dating sites for that.

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by goku the krump dancer » Fri Jan 28, 2022 4:38 pm

ChibiGoku wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 2:30 pm snip
Well seeing as though you prefaced by saying you're unfortunately plagued with various mental health issues, your socializing experience is gonna be different from most by default and that's all I can pretty much say on that. As far as your comment about being the right guy, I've been on both ends of the spectrum, the right guy to get the number and the wrong guy who wasn't good enough for whatever reason and I've seen it in person dozens of times, its not really that farfetched of a concept.

On another note I'm almost curious as to how some of you function day to day with all this fear jammed into your heads, YBM you almost speak as if every non-LGBTQ guy out there has some innate urge to hurt you, or people like you in particular and that just plain crazy.

I literally just came from my local Walgreens and asked the ladies at the register where would be an ideal place for a guy to approach them and they both giggled and said it didn't really matter as long as he wasn't weird about it.

We've all been approached by someone who's made us uncomfortable at one time or another but that's life, you brush it off and move on, its really not that serious.
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by JulieYBM » Fri Jan 28, 2022 5:53 pm

goku the krump dancer wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 4:38 pmWell seeing as though you prefaced by saying you're unfortunately plagued with various mental health issues, your socializing experience is gonna be different from most by default and that's all I can pretty much say on that.
The point is that you can't tell when someone has health issues so you shouldn't just assume someone left their house today wanting to get picked up at the grocery store.
goku the krump dancer wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 4:38 pmOn another note I'm almost curious as to how some of you function day to day with all this fear jammed into your heads, YBM you almost speak as if every non-LGBTQ guy out there has some innate urge to hurt you, or people like you in particular and that just plain crazy.
I sometimes don't function. PTSD sucks and is more common than you realize.
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by goku the krump dancer » Fri Jan 28, 2022 8:50 pm

You're right you dont know but thats why you go talk to them anyway and find out, a two to three minute conversation (AT BEST) to try to create something resembling a spark with someone you found attractive, that hardly qualifies as a traumatic experience, can it be awkward? Sure, but honestly its only as awkward as one allows it to be.

It seems counter productive to assume that someone is having a bad day so you opt not to talk to them. You save face by not getting rejected but then you're left wondering for days if not weeks, what could've been had you just said "hey, how's your day". No one wins in that situation, the guy doesnt get the girl and if the girl is having a bad day your approach could've cheered her up and if she's having an awesome day she doesnt get to see how awesome you are because you were too much of a wuss to talk to her and tried to dress it up as being considerate of her feelings IF she was having a bad day.

If its blatantly obvious that a woman isn't in the mood to talk, then sure, don't approach. The obvious sign that I've become aware of is if she's purposefully avoiding eye contact with everyone, that usually means she's not in the mood to talk.
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by kemuri07 » Fri Jan 28, 2022 9:05 pm

The problem here is a lack of awareness. To you, it's just a flirtation that's "just awkward," to her it can add to an already shitty day because the last thing they want is to be hit on. Basically: there's a time and place, dude If you're at a bar or a club, I mean sure because those places are made for social interaction. But you probably shouldn't be walking around B&N and trying to pick up chicks.




And with the proliferation of dating apps, there's really no excuse to be trying those pick up artist crap. It's just creepy.


No one's saying you can't talk to women, but if all you're trying to do is get laid, then there are better more proper contexts for it. And respect people's space and privacy. If a girl wants to talk she will let you know. Because stuff what you're pulling is exactly how guys get in trouble. Where misconceptions happens, and things spiral out of control. Basically: treat women like people not just potential fuck buddies.

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by goku the krump dancer » Fri Jan 28, 2022 10:39 pm

Well I never said going to a book store or super market with the INTENT of picking up ladies nor did I say anything about fuck buddies..

My point is, if your out and about in your daily life be it grocery shopping, clothes shopping , working out, grabbing coffee etc and you just so happen to see someone who catches your eye then it’s not a crime to go up to them, introduce yourself and start a conversation with the intent on asking them out.. The whole purpose of dating is getting to know someone to see if they can possibly fit into your life.

It’s really not that complicated.
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by WittyUsername » Fri Jan 28, 2022 11:53 pm

goku the krump dancer wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 10:39 pm Well I never said going to a book store or super market with the INTENT of picking up ladies nor did I say anything about fuck buddies..

My point is, if your out and about in your daily life be it grocery shopping, clothes shopping , working out, grabbing coffee etc and you just so happen to see someone who catches your eye then it’s not a crime to go up to them, introduce yourself and start a conversation with the intent on asking them out.. The whole purpose of dating is getting to know someone to see if they can possibly fit into your life.

It’s really not that complicated.
That sounds pretty awkward.

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by jjgp1112 » Sat Jan 29, 2022 2:50 am

You know who I'd like to see try to find a lady? Yamcha. Poor bastard could use a W for once in his miserable life.

no seriously, y'all niggas is bored.
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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by kemuri07 » Sat Jan 29, 2022 3:05 am

goku the krump dancer wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 10:39 pm Well I never said going to a book store or super market with the INTENT of picking up ladies nor did I say anything about fuck buddies..

My point is, if your out and about in your daily life be it grocery shopping, clothes shopping , working out, grabbing coffee etc and you just so happen to see someone who catches your eye then it’s not a crime to go up to them, introduce yourself and start a conversation with the intent on asking them out.. The whole purpose of dating is getting to know someone to see if they can possibly fit into your life.

It’s really not that complicated.
Dude. Your whole shit's fucked if you're trying to pick up women while at a grocery store. Is it a crime to go up to women and try to ask them out while they're at the gym? Nope. Is it kind of creepy? Yup. Life is not a romantic comedy where you can have a meet cute at the local deli.

Like I said: time and place for everything. Respect people's space and privacy.

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by Nagyzöld » Sat Jan 29, 2022 8:06 am

Peach wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2022 3:07 am Any advice on what to do?
Just keep in mind that the love for Dragon Ball and cosplay isn't enough for a healthy and productive relationship. Maybe you find someone who you're getting along with really well, but is not big on anime, but if you're both open-minded you can share interests. If you want my two cents, I wasn't big on Dragon Ball until my ex, many years ago, who sparked an interest in me to the point where I became even more passionate. In my actual relationship, I'm the "sparkerer". People change.

As to where to find them, apart from college/workplace, which provide a pretty good context to start a conversation, I strongly suggest social media.

P.S. Regarding the argument in the last comments. Maybe some women will not mind strangers coming up to them and start a conversation. But in many women's experiences, being nice with a guy just out of politeness is often translated as "she led me on so now she owes me sex/a relationship". So naturally their survival instinct taught them to avoid random strangers acting all nice and interested. They ain't the crazy ones.

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by WittyUsername » Sat Jan 29, 2022 10:09 am

If you want to meet someone, you’d probably be better off using a dating website or something. There’s no reason to just walk up to someone you know nothing about with the intention/hope of starting a relationship. That’s weird. Doing it at a club or something would certainly be less awkward/potentially creepy than doing it a grocery store or what have you, but you’d still know nothing about that person.

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by MasenkoHA » Sat Jan 29, 2022 10:15 am

jjgp1112 wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2022 2:50 am You know who I'd like to see try to find a lady? Yamcha. Poor bastard could use a W for once in his miserable life.

no seriously, y'all niggas is bored.
Poor dude was a professional baseball player and a host and never achieved his dream of marriage. Poor guy. Should have found a cyborg to wish a bomb out of.

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Re: How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

Post by JulieYBM » Sat Jan 29, 2022 10:37 am

goku the krump dancer wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 8:50 pm You're right you dont know but thats why you go talk to them anyway and find out, a two to three minute conversation (AT BEST) to try to create something resembling a spark with someone you found attractive, that hardly qualifies as a traumatic experience, can it be awkward? Sure, but honestly its only as awkward as one allows it to be.

It seems counter productive to assume that someone is having a bad day so you opt not to talk to them. You save face by not getting rejected but then you're left wondering for days if not weeks, what could've been had you just said "hey, how's your day". No one wins in that situation, the guy doesnt get the girl and if the girl is having a bad day your approach could've cheered her up and if she's having an awesome day she doesnt get to see how awesome you are because you were too much of a wuss to talk to her and tried to dress it up as being considerate of her feelings IF she was having a bad day.

If its blatantly obvious that a woman isn't in the mood to talk, then sure, don't approach. The obvious sign that I've become aware of is if she's purposefully avoiding eye contact with everyone, that usually means she's not in the mood to talk.
Men we don't know coming up to us and trying to make moves on us while we are running errands is, in fact, traumatic for us.

I mean, gosh, it's not like I'm a woman who has experienced this or socialize with other women and hear other stories. No sir, I just spend all day hanging around cis men. Probably to get into their pants or something. Because it's what all women want.
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