How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

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How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by Hit!! » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:27 am

We all know Jiren's backstory was lacking depth, impact and creativity... It was uninteresting to say the least.

So, i created this thread so we could all express our own versions of the story, how we would have done it if we were the writers.. I want to see your version of the story :D

Btw, i created this thread just to have a little fun and to let our imagination fly, not to start an argument of any sort, so let's maintain mutual respect and civility please.

I'll start with my take:

Universe 11 was divided into 2 great nations who had great power, resources and influence all over the universe, and ruled over plenty of galaxies, civilizations and constelations..

Most of the west side of U11 was ruled by "The Federation" and the East side was ruled by the great "Galactical Union". Both nations emerged as a result of a great war that took place hundreds of years ago where plenty of civilizations perished and many people suffered.. The war was caused by an evil tyrant of Frieza's race who ruled all over U11 and declared war on the gods (the kai's), against the will of most of his people, forcing a bunch of innocent people into a war they didn't want to fight in the first place... U11 greatest leaders allied together and planned to overthrow this evil tyrant, starting a revolution. The evil tyrant was called "Emperor Kruos" (ancient greek for "Cold") who slowly started becoming insane and paranoid as the war progressed and ordered the destruction of many planets and his war tactics became more and more cruel, using chemical weapons on innocent planets, and murdering anyone he suspected about, etc. This fierce, bloody and degrading war dragged on for long, but at the end it was won by the rebels, but at a high cost.. Many people lost their lives, and Kruos destroyed many planets before his fall.

After this war, U11 leaders agreed to split the universe for eachother, many different nations throughout the universe. Some of these nations became more powerful than others, some were poor, others were violent and crime ridden, etc. But 2 of these nations grew exceedingly strong, and started invading, colonizing and conquering other territories, extracting their resources and become even more powerful. These 2 nations later ruled over almost half the universe each. One ruled over the west (The Federation) and the other one ruled over the East (Galactic Union), and the power struggle started. It was virtually a Cold War between both nations, with spies, intelligence, assasins, special ops, secret experiments, etc.

Jiren's planet was on the west, very close to the Capitol of "The Federation". His family was a family of warrios for the most part and they were loyal to the federation. Jiren's father worked for the Intelligence Department of The Federation, he was a strong special ops soldier and was out working most of the time, providing for his family. Meanwhile, Jiren trained at home, because he wanted to grow up to be a strong fighter, just like his father.

One day, Jiren's father was working on a secret mission, to steal a sample of a particle that could trigger an instant mutation on any sentient being, causing the subject to change drastically.. He was to steal it from a lab at a secret facility owned by the Galactic Union. Things went wrong, the Union was alerted about the operation by a whistle blower, and the Galactic Union responded by sending 4 "super soldiers" to stop Jiren's father and his team. These soldiers were abnormally powerful and vicious, but Jiren's father and his squard were no pushovers, so they managed to beat the super soldiers and escape with the substance, while the secret facility's alarms were blasting!!

They brought the particle back to headquarters and were congratulated by the whole department. When Jiren's father was about to head back home, he accidentally overheard a conversation between the minister of Defense and the head of the Intelligence Department, they were talking about using how glad they were to obtain this particle and it was the last missing peace, to start the process of creating big strong soldiers, using said particle. But Jiren's father tried to convince himself to let this go and get back home to his family, which is more important.

2 days past, and jiren's father can't stop thinking about what he heard from the head of the Department of Intelligence, so he decides to go back to headquarters, and sneak into a room where they hold all the classified documents, he starts digging, and finds a document that stated that The Federation has been kidnapping small kids and experimenting on them for years. They were playing with biogenetics, trying to create the perfect bio soldier, and the only thing they needed, to boost these subjects was the particle that Jiren's father got for them. Jiren's father couldn't help but feel disgusted, started thinking for a way to stop this madness.

The next day, Jiren's father (i'll name him Gris), called his most trusted men, Kalos and Ruru, both belonged to his unit, he told them all about his findings, and started plotting a sabotage and a plan to save the kids that were kidnapped, at least the ones who are still alive (many failed experiments resulted in the subjects death), both Kalos and Ruru agreed.. Gris (jiren's father) said that they will meet the next day in another planet, to not arise suspicion.

Gris, Kalos and Ruru met the next day and started planning in a lost abandoned house, when all of a sudden, they heard a knock at the door "in the name of The Federation, "Gris the Grey", you are to be sentenced for treason to the nation", Kalos and Ruru looked back at Gris, and aimed their weapons at him, they told him "Gris, you are under arrest for treason to the nation", the door was knocked down and the federal forces came in, a fight broke out, but Gris was held down and brought back to headquarters, but on their way back, he notices that they are not going back to headquarters, they are going back to his home planet, they bring him tied up back to his house, only to realize that they have his wife and his son ( kid Jiren) tied up, Kalos then procedes to kill his wife, Gris gets really mad, powers up and realeases himself to punch kalos, who he thought was his most trusted friend, Ruru and the rest beat Gris, and then executed him in front of Jiren.. They later kidnapped kid Jiren, because they noticed high potencial in him, and started doing painful experiments on him with the particle..

Fast foward 5 years later, Jiren is a teenager, a super soldier, the success of the biogenetic experiments.. Him and a group of 5 are The Federations Super Soldier Unit. No one in Uni11 is supposed to be stronger than them. The fall of the great Galactic Union happens due to internal issues and divides into 4 smaller nations. Now The Federation is the only great super nation in U11.

One day, the secret facility where they held jiren was raided by a group of rebels.. They discover that there was a bunker where they held several experiment subjects, they see teenage Jiren in a small room, training... The rebel leader "Kimori" notices that jiren is a prisoner and releases him, the facility is about to explode, so there's no time to release anybody else, so Jiren runs away with the rebels. Kimori is a strong warrior who used to be loyal to the Federation, but he learned about the evil schemes and manipulation of The Federation and decided to rebel with a group of military men who also opposed to the methods of The Federation. Kimori later becomes Jiren's master, he trained him and together, they amassed a great group of men determined to fight the federation, but they were crushed. Kalos and Ruru were sent to deal with Kimori and his people, but Kimori's men were no match for Kalos and Ruru, they were all killed in the battle. After years of battle, Jiren and Kimori were alone, most of their comrades were dead, and their guerrilla was growing weaker and weaker, some of them surrendered, others were arrested and publicly executed, others were killed in battle, etc. One day, Kalos came with an army of Federation men to intercept Jiren and Kimori.. Kimori died in the battlefield, Jiren raged and powered up, killed kalos and wiped out the whole army who came with him...

Jiren started building his own army composed of the remnants of Kimori's guerrilla, and some newcomers, they called themselves "The Troopers". He raided some of the Federation's military bases, Ruru was killed in one of these raids. The Federation started coming at them full force, sending their super soldiers, forcing Jiren's men to surrender, only to be executed later.. These Super Soldiers were virtually unbeatable, their ki was insame, they had no feelings, they were killing machines. These genetic freaks had Jiren's men shaking in fear, so Jiren's men started betraying him, they started snitching, giving out information to the feds, so Jiren kept getting raided by the feds, killing most of his men, until at the end, Jiren was all alone, most of his men got killed or betrayed him.. Jiren had no one to rely on, this is where his real power came to surface. All his suffering, all his frustration and all his anger was channeled.. He unlocked his true potential, so he went to the capitol with 2 of his remaining men (Toppo and Kasheral) and started a big revolution, when the people saw the power of these men, they were inspired to join.. Most people were unhapping with the current state of things, so most people supported the revolution.. At the end they were able to overthrow the capitol and dismantle The Federation, creating a more fair state.. Toppo and Kasheral were filled with pride, so they decided that they were no longer "The Troopers", they were now "The Pride Troopers".. The end.


I got a little bit lazy there at the end, but this is just for fun, so let's just enjoy ourselves :clap:

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by WittyUsername » Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:48 am

I would’ve established Jiren as someone who always had a strong sense of justice as a kid. As a result of his ideals, he would be the kind of person who always tried to get stronger solely as a means of protecting the defenseless. Eventually, Belmod takes notice of Jiren’s strength and ideals, and would take him under his wing to be the next GoD. However, Jiren ultimately finds that he cannot devote himself to an ideology that favors destruction, and ultimately ends up rejecting Belmod’s offer. Shortly after this, a band of space pirates (not unlike the Saiyans) would ravage Jiren’s home planet and kill those he held dear. Naturally, this angers Jiren and in a fit of blind rage, he completely annihilates the space pirates.

Following the damage dealt to his home planet, Jiren eventually meets someone who shares his desire to protect the innocent in Toppo, and the two become close friends. Together, the two form the Pride Troopers as a means of spreading peace and justice throughout the universe. Belmod takes notice of the Pride Troopers, and decides to offer Toppo the opportunity to become the next GoD, which the latter reluctantly accepts. Jiren feels a sense of betrayal over what his friend agrees on, and confronts Toppo and Belmod over this. It is here that Jiren learns that those space pirates who ravaged his planet were actually sent by Belmod as a form of revenge over the fact that Jiren rejected his offer to become the next GoD. Furious over this, Jiren fights Belmod and to the surprise of everyone, he ends up overpowering the GoD. Despite having the perfect opportunity to put an end to the one responsible for the death of his loved ones, Jiren refuses, as he realizes that killing Belmod would not change anything. Following this, Jiren and Toppo’s friendship becomes strained, but the two continue to work together, with Toppo continuing his training to be a GoD.

Fast forward to the ToP and this is where the prospect of Jiren’s desire for the Super Dragaon Balls comes into play. While Jiren initially considers using the Super Dragon Balls to revive his loved ones, he quickly comes to realize that such a self-serving wish would go against what he had devoted himself to his entire life. Instead, Jiren hopes to use them to put an end to the reign of Zen-Oh and the Gods of Destruction, as he sees them as the very antithesis to his ideology of protecting the weak and innocent from those who seek to destroy them.

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by PsionicWarrior » Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:13 pm

Not so much the backstory itself I would improve but rather give it enough screentime with slow build-up throughout episodes. A 2mns flashback barely thrown two episodes before it ends feels like the middle finger.

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:22 pm

By not giving him one at all. It's unnecessary.
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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by batistabus » Tue Mar 13, 2018 2:01 pm

Sounds like you just want to write a fan-fiction, my man. viewforum.php?f=6

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by Alruneia » Wed Mar 14, 2018 9:56 pm

Well, since the title says improve, not replace...
The one who killed Jiren's family and friends was none other than his own older brother Touvus! Jiren's race have quite the lifespan, so Touvus is about a century older than Jiren, and thus he had time to become that strong. But that's not the main point here.
You see, the Pride Troopers in their current form are not the original Pride Troopers. Many years ago, the first group of Pride Troopers was formed, with Touvus as the leader. Their uniforms were blue instead of red, but otherwise the same as the current Troopers' uniforms. This group attempted to protect Universe 11 from evil, and managed to do so for several years, until they faced an unwinnable battle. All but Touvus perished in the fight, Touvus himself barely escaping alive. Over the next twenty years, Touvus trained his body and mind past every limit, before returning to slay the monster who had destroyed his group. However, over the course of his extreme training, Touvus lost his humanity, his emotions. Nothing mattered to him after that one victory, and training and destruction was all he knew. This led to his eventual attack on his own home village. The idea of the Pride Troopers became legend and was later reused to create the modern group, while Touvus himself became a villain just like the ones he used to defeat, a villain Jiren is now continually training to fight against. Jiren despises people abandoning their values because of what happened when Touvus lost sight of his.

...What, did you expect to have this kind of thread without anyone mentioning El Hermano (named Touvus here) at some point? :P
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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by Loputousu » Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:07 pm

I'd make it so that Jiren's wife and children were killed by the evil doer instead. I'd also give him his personality from the manga; he's overcompensating for that loss by being overly strong and saving as many lives as possible.

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by MegaBossMan » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:07 pm

A great backstory doesn't necessarily have to be overly complex; what I would do is keep it simple and keep relatively loose ends.

Rather than an evildoer, I think we further the Superman comparison and have the tragedy of Jiren's village stem from Jiren having some sort of great strength, but explore a rather never-touched Dragon Ball strength angle; a complete and utter cannon living in a glass house. Perhaps his race is naturally strong, but Jiren's got decent potential and he fails to keep it under locks; that leads to the accidental destruction of his home. Eventually, in the wreckage of his land, Jiren's teacher comes across him and instills into him a sense of justice. Jiren's teacher dreams of a force that can keep the rampant evil in their Universe under control, and builds a ragtag group of good samaritans.

Of course, building off previous events, Jiren somehow lets his emotions get in his way at some point, and again loses his grasp on his strength. Jiren's teacher dies, Jiren obviously becomes wracked with grief, and then sets out to never again let his own rampant emotions make him lose his sense of justice and power; he must stay reserved if he wants to properly stop from being overwhelmed. He begins to set on to become a vigilante, probably gets mentored by Toppo (who could be related to Jiren's teacher to bring him into play) at some point for self-control, and inspires a group of Pride Troopers to form with his heroism, which after some hesistation he joins. Eventually, he reaches the strength of the gods through his hard work and catches the eye of Lord Vermod, who proposes that he become God of Destruction, and Jiren naturally declines, which conversely gains him the respect of Vermod. He becomes a role model for everyone, Universe 11 lives in prosperity, the usual.

It's rough and could use a little spit-and-polish, but it's just something off the spot to bring the Superman parallel back into play again.
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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by Polyphase Avatron » Thu Mar 15, 2018 12:07 am

Jiren started off from a race who were physically weaker than average humans, and had little innate fighting potential. By training non-stop his entire life after his master was killed, and for millions of years in the afterlife before being brought back by the gods of Universe 11 for the ToP, he attained his current power. But he's completely forgotten why he trains or wants power, it's just ingrained into him as something that he does, as naturally as breathing. His wish is to find something in his life that is actually worth fighting for.
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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by Jackalope89 » Thu Mar 15, 2018 12:17 am

So many fan fictiony things that are, eh.

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by JulieYBM » Thu Mar 15, 2018 12:24 am

I agree: he doesn't need a background. Jiren is merely Jiren, what makes him unique is the role he plays in others' lives. To the Seventh Universe Jiren is an unstoppable force of nature that does not speak, does not emote--he simply steps forward endlessly. Maintain that aura and focus on how he makes other characters feel. Dragon Ball hasn't done that sort of Angel from Shin Seiki Evangelion thing before, so I wish they had stuck with Jiren being silent and having no backstory. It would've been unique.

If Jiren had to have a backstory I certainly wouldn't have had fucking Vermouth explain it in exposition. I would've saved it for Episode #131's A-Part, told entirely from Jiren's present point of view regarding his past. Just open the episode with the entire Jiren backstory and then cut back to the fight in the B-Part as if nothing had happened.
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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by Yomi » Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:49 am

is this just an excuse to write fan fiction? :lol:
I don't think we needed all of that. Just needed a little more detail when it comes to his clan's murderer, and his relationships with his friends.
an intimate little story; nothing too expository.
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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by wolflonnie » Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:03 am

JulieYBM wrote:I agree: he doesn't need a background. Jiren is merely Jiren, what makes him unique is the role he plays in others' lives. To the Seventh Universe Jiren is an unstoppable force of nature that does not speak, does not emote--he simply steps forward endlessly. Maintain that aura and focus on how he makes other characters feel. Dragon Ball hasn't done that sort of Angel from Shin Seiki Evangelion thing before, so I wish they had stuck with Jiren being silent and having no backstory. It would've been unique.

If Jiren had to have a backstory I certainly wouldn't have had fucking Vermouth explain it in exposition. I would've saved it for Episode #131's A-Part, told entirely from Jiren's present point of view regarding his past. Just open the episode with the entire Jiren backstory and then cut back to the fight in the B-Part as if nothing had happened.
This.
It's odd, but keeping Jiren just an amazingly strong guy for reason we'll never know... is weirdly interesting.

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by fadeddreams5 » Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:13 am

This topic was low key made to share fan fictions. lol.

But to answer the question, I disagree that he should have no backstory, but he doesn't need some overly complex background either. At the same time, for a character that has surpassed the limits of the gods, he shouldn't have the most cliche and underwhelming backstory he currently has.

Jiren should simply have been born with his near limitless power, and should have originated from a universe that no longer exists. The twist here is that, while Goku has trained his entire life to surpass his own limits and get stronger, Jiren has trained his whole life to suppress his power in order to not hurt others because, thanks to the release of his full potential in the past, his universe was wiped out. Hence, Jiren's expressionless and silent personality aren't exhibited by choice, but because he needs to maintain a calm disposition and full control to not let any bit of his massive energy seep out. Despite this, Jiren has a strong sense of justice and desires only to help those weaker than him, while also strongly lamenting what he unintentionally did in the past.

Moving on to Toppo, somehow Jiren makes it to Universe 10. Instead of being a candidate GoD, Toppo should have been the original U10 GoD who resigned after being inspired by Jiren, both for his power, which exceeded his own, and his usage of it to protect others and fight for justice, despite his capabilities of massive destruction. Toppo creates the Pride Troopers and later convinces Jiren to join.

Lastly, Jiren's wish? He has two: a) to revive his original universe and b) to strip himself of his powers.

I think this would have been simple and effective. No need to delve into too much details either.
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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by Lord Beerus » Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:40 pm

Honestly, Jiren shouldn't have been given a backstory to begin with. Some characters work better when their origins are a mystery. Jiren should have just been written as a straight-up no-nonsense, gimmick free powerhouse. There was no need to try and romanticize his power.

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by majinwarman » Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:45 pm

Lord Beerus wrote:Honestly, Jiren shouldn't have been given a backstory to begin with. Some characters work better when their origins are a mystery. Jiren should have just been written as a straight-up no-nonsense, gimmick free powerhouse. There was no need to try and romanticize his power.
I understand that view point but I think the backstory they gave him was fine for him. Jiren didn't need a backstory like Vegeta or Goku Black.
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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by PsionicWarrior » Thu Mar 15, 2018 3:31 pm

A mysterious character is interesting because you want to know more about him. I freaking as hell wanted to learn about Jiren. But it's also a matter of how you tell a story. Of course what they did will leave disappointed both the people teased about and others who think he didn't need one (and given the flashback, might indeed has been better that way).

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by GamerSkull » Thu Mar 15, 2018 4:46 pm

Jiren's backstory is fine as far as the concept they chose to go with (even if it's a bit generic).

The problem is that it needs to be expounded upon and not just be a two minute exposition dump with some images.
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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by PsionicWarrior » Thu Mar 15, 2018 5:48 pm

GamerSkull wrote:Jiren's backstory is fine as far as the concept they chose to go with (even if it's a bit generic).

The problem is that it needs to be expounded upon and not just be a two minute exposition dump with some images.
Exactly.

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Re: How would you improve Jiren's backstory??

Post by Arg » Thu Mar 15, 2018 6:41 pm

How would he have gotten absolute strenght? They could go with him stumbling upon the dragonballs once. Resurrecting his parents would make no sense as the villain would just kill them again so Jiren wishes for absolute strenght to deal with the perpetrator. After that he is on the hunt for the dragonballs again to fulfill his original wish. Would make Jirens absolute strenght feat much more believable, credible, and mystical. So Goku, a man who surpasses any limit is on the verge of surpassing absolute strenght? Another glove thrown at super man at that.

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