General Fan Fiction Thread

[Kanassa]

Do you guys really care about your works being «too dark» or «not Toriyama-like» by DB standars? Acording to my friends that's a big problem with my fanfics but I have never seen it like a big deal, and I definetly don't know how to write something «Toriyama-like». It's true that some of my works are too dark compared to the original manga trough.

In general, this i a usual problem for fanfiction. And where the term 'Edgy' is overused. There's nothing wrong with a making a dark story in Dragonball, but there's a difference between 'Dark' and 'Artificially Dark' (As I dubbed it) where you're just throwing dark subjects, swearing and gore at the dart board with the care of a trenchcoat toating pale tool jumping through the window with two oversized gatlin guns screaming Linkin park through his bleeding eyes along with a 'Fuck', 'Shit, and 'Bitch' inserted in every sentence.

[Gog]

Obligatory Plug. viewtopic.php?f=6&t=37227&p=1231896#p1231896

[Alruneia]

Do you guys really care about your works being «too dark» or «not Toriyama-like» by DB standars? Acording to my friends that's a big problem with my fanfics but I have never seen it like a big deal, and I definetly don't know how to write something «Toriyama-like». It's true that some of my works are too dark compared to the original manga trough.

In general, this i a usual problem for fanfiction. And where the term 'Edgy' is overused. There's nothing wrong with a making a dark story in Dragonball, but there's a difference between 'Dark' and 'Artificially Dark' (As I dubbed it) where you're just throwing dark subjects, swearing and gore at the dart board with the care of a trenchcoat toating pale tool jumping through the window with two oversized gatlin guns screaming Linkin park through his bleeding eyes along with a 'Fuck', 'Shit, and 'Bitch' inserted in every sentence.

While this was an... interesting way to put it, this is essentially my response as well. If you can write a dark story that feels like everyone dying against Nappa or everything going wrong in the future timeline, then good, go ahead. However, if you can't, then don't try to replace that lack of ability with edgy writing full of gore and swears; change the plot instead.

[Gog]

Do you guys really care about your works being «too dark» or «not Toriyama-like» by DB standars? Acording to my friends that's a big problem with my fanfics but I have never seen it like a big deal, and I definetly don't know how to write something «Toriyama-like». It's true that some of my works are too dark compared to the original manga trough.

In general, this i a usual problem for fanfiction. And where the term 'Edgy' is overused. There's nothing wrong with a making a dark story in Dragonball, but there's a difference between 'Dark' and 'Artificially Dark' (As I dubbed it) where you're just throwing dark subjects, swearing and gore at the dart board with the care of a trenchcoat toating pale tool jumping through the window with two oversized gatlin guns screaming Linkin park through his bleeding eyes along with a 'Fuck', 'Shit, and 'Bitch' inserted in every sentence.

While this was an... interesting way to put it, this is essentially my response as well. If you can write a dark story that feels like everyone dying against Nappa or everything going wrong in the future timeline, then good, go ahead. However, if you can't, then don't try to replace that lack of ability with edgy writing full of gore and swears; change the plot instead.

Honestly the best way to write a dark dragon ball story. Is you keep everything the same, the characters, the way they speak, and that stuff, and you put them in darker situations.

Case in point a dark story;
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9443688/1/Savior-of-Demons

Case in point a darker story;
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6760405/1/In-the-Shadows

Both are fantastic and miles ahead of the original series.

[ekrolo2]

Do you guys really care about your works being «too dark» or «not Toriyama-like» by DB standars? Acording to my friends that's a big problem with my fanfics but I have never seen it like a big deal, and I definetly don't know how to write something «Toriyama-like». It's true that some of my works are too dark compared to the original manga trough.

Not particularly. I'm not Toriyama and I don't aim to emulate his style of plotting or tone, only how he writes the characters and the dialogue (Goku and Vegeta are selfish, Gohan being kind of a nerd. With the dialogue I never have them say shit, fuck or son of a bitch, bastard and damn are as far as I go with the swearing).
Besides, we've got actual evidence of great DB stuff that breaks away from his style being pulled off successfully like the Bardock and Trunks specials so there's a good precedent for ignoring Toriyama's style and pulling it off successfully.

[Gog]

While ya'll are talking about the tone, I'm over here waiting for Kanassa, to approve my edited version of The monster that lived on. I'm still waiting

[emperior]

Any feedback on this "outline" for a Super Saiyan/Super Saiyan God legend story?


Saiyans have always been a bloodlusted warrior race, who spent their days fighting between themselves in death battles.
One day, some aliens ambassador arrived on Planet Sadla.
Thirsty of blood and challenges, the Saiyans saw this as an occasion to appease their blood lust instincts, which were driving their race to extinction because of their death games.
They killed the aliens and stole their spaceship, then they attacked the planet those aliens came from, which was rich and technologically advanced, and stole every good they found, including their spaceships.
The Saiyans spent their days attacking planets, getting richer and richer.


This story happens around Year 238 Before Age


A group of 6 Saiyans realize what they are doing is not right, they believe killing innocents is pointless. Lead by their leader Caesar, they go back to Sadla where they try to convince the other Saiyans to stop blindly following their King, but they are consider traitors by them. The evil Saiyans inform the King about the “rebellion” of these Saiyans. The King orders their execution, but the 6 of them are able to fend off the evil Saiyans, so the king decides to send the entire Saiyan army to quickly stop the rebellion.
Using the moon of Planet Sadla, the evil Saiyans transform into Oozarus and with the Oozarus in the background, the righteous Saiyans unite themselves in an attempt to transfer all their energies to their leader Caesar, who turns into a Super Saiyan God and kills many Oozarus, and also destroys the moon to revert them back to their normal form. The time of the Super Saiyan God transformation expires, and the King himself arrives and with the help of his soldiers, he kills the 5 righteous comrades of Caesar. In front of the death of his comrades, Caesar turns Super Saiyan.

On U7, Caesar isn’t able to control his rage and ends up destroying Sadla. The King and other few Saiyans were able to escape to Planet Plant with spaceships, where they slowly rebuilt their race. The Super Saiyan God legend was lost in history, but Saiyans clearly remembered the Super Saiyan transformation which destroyed their home planet.

On U6, Caesar was able to control his rage and went on to kill the King. Seeing their King killed and the overwhelming power of Caesar, the Evil Saiyans stopped fighting. Caesar became their King and slowly rebuilt the Saiyan race as a race of good people. The legendary transformations of Caesar were lost in history and the Saiyans slowly lost their tails due to the lack of a moon on Planet Sadla.

[Alruneia]

Any feedback on this "outline" for a Super Saiyan/Super Saiyan God legend story?
[spoiler]Saiyans have always been a bloodlusted warrior race, who spent their days fighting between themselves in death battles.
One day, some aliens ambassador arrived on Planet Sadla.
Thirsty of blood and challenges, the Saiyans saw this as an occasion to appease their blood lust instincts, which were driving their race to extinction because of their death games.
They killed the aliens and stole their spaceship, then they attacked the planet those aliens came from, which was rich and technologically advanced, and stole every good they found, including their spaceships.
The Saiyans spent their days attacking planets, getting richer and richer.


This story happens around Year 238 Before Age


A group of 6 Saiyans realize what they are doing is not right, they believe killing innocents is pointless. Lead by their leader Caesar, they go back to Sadla where they try to convince the other Saiyans to stop blindly following their King, but they are consider traitors by them. The evil Saiyans inform the King about the “rebellion” of these Saiyans. The King orders their execution, but the 6 of them are able to fend off the evil Saiyans, so the king decides to send the entire Saiyan army to quickly stop the rebellion.
Using the moon of Planet Sadla, the evil Saiyans transform into Oozarus and with the Oozarus in the background, the righteous Saiyans unite themselves in an attempt to transfer all their energies to their leader Caesar, who turns into a Super Saiyan God and kills many Oozarus, and also destroys the moon to revert them back to their normal form. The time of the Super Saiyan God transformation expires, and the King himself arrives and with the help of his soldiers, he kills the 5 righteous comrades of Caesar. In front of the death of his comrades, Caesar turns Super Saiyan.

On U7, Caesar isn’t able to control his rage and ends up destroying Sadla. The King and other few Saiyans were able to escape to Planet Plant with spaceships, where they slowly rebuilt their race. The Super Saiyan God legend was lost in history, but Saiyans clearly remembered the Super Saiyan transformation which destroyed their home planet.

On U6, Caesar was able to control his rage and went on to kill the King. Seeing their King killed and the overwhelming power of Caesar, the Evil Saiyans stopped fighting. Caesar became their King and slowly rebuilt the Saiyan race as a race of good people. The legendary transformations of Caesar were lost in history and the Saiyans slowly lost their tails due to the lack of a moon on Planet Sadla.[/spoiler]

Sounds pretty good, actually! I'm already using the idea of King Caesar in Universe 6, so I'm biased on the name, but I have a nitpick: U7 Caesar and U6 Caesar shouldn't be the same. Much like Frieza and Frost, they have the same role, but their names and designs should be different. I suggest changing U7 Caesar's name at the least.

Here's my question: What do you guys think about "condensing" Hit's Time Skip? Through his improvements he can skip for a second or so now, but he can't stop people who are more than a little stronger than him, so what if he could concentrate his ability back down to only lasting for a fraction of a second, but by doing so he can stop people several tiers of strength above him? For example, if he condensed it to last for 0.001 seconds he could freeze even Champa. Of course, he can't spam this ability, but in Dragon Ball, fractions of seconds do make a big difference over the course of a fight.
I also had an idea about him being able to choose for someone to skip time along with him, but that already happened in the anime when he killed that mob boss, so I don't think I need to ask about it.

[emperior]

Any feedback on this "outline" for a Super Saiyan/Super Saiyan God legend story?
[spoiler]Saiyans have always been a bloodlusted warrior race, who spent their days fighting between themselves in death battles.
One day, some aliens ambassador arrived on Planet Sadla.
Thirsty of blood and challenges, the Saiyans saw this as an occasion to appease their blood lust instincts, which were driving their race to extinction because of their death games.
They killed the aliens and stole their spaceship, then they attacked the planet those aliens came from, which was rich and technologically advanced, and stole every good they found, including their spaceships.
The Saiyans spent their days attacking planets, getting richer and richer.


This story happens around Year 238 Before Age


A group of 6 Saiyans realize what they are doing is not right, they believe killing innocents is pointless. Lead by their leader Caesar, they go back to Sadla where they try to convince the other Saiyans to stop blindly following their King, but they are consider traitors by them. The evil Saiyans inform the King about the “rebellion” of these Saiyans. The King orders their execution, but the 6 of them are able to fend off the evil Saiyans, so the king decides to send the entire Saiyan army to quickly stop the rebellion.
Using the moon of Planet Sadla, the evil Saiyans transform into Oozarus and with the Oozarus in the background, the righteous Saiyans unite themselves in an attempt to transfer all their energies to their leader Caesar, who turns into a Super Saiyan God and kills many Oozarus, and also destroys the moon to revert them back to their normal form. The time of the Super Saiyan God transformation expires, and the King himself arrives and with the help of his soldiers, he kills the 5 righteous comrades of Caesar. In front of the death of his comrades, Caesar turns Super Saiyan.

On U7, Caesar isn’t able to control his rage and ends up destroying Sadla. The King and other few Saiyans were able to escape to Planet Plant with spaceships, where they slowly rebuilt their race. The Super Saiyan God legend was lost in history, but Saiyans clearly remembered the Super Saiyan transformation which destroyed their home planet.

On U6, Caesar was able to control his rage and went on to kill the King. Seeing their King killed and the overwhelming power of Caesar, the Evil Saiyans stopped fighting. Caesar became their King and slowly rebuilt the Saiyan race as a race of good people. The legendary transformations of Caesar were lost in history and the Saiyans slowly lost their tails due to the lack of a moon on Planet Sadla.[/spoiler]

Sounds pretty good, actually! I'm already using the idea of King Caesar in Universe 6, so I'm biased on the name, but I have a nitpick: U7 Caesar and U6 Caesar shouldn't be the same. Much like Frieza and Frost, they have the same role, but their names and designs should be different. I suggest changing U7 Caesar's name at the least.

Here's my question: What do you guys think about "condensing" Hit's Time Skip? Through his improvements he can skip for a second or so now, but he can't stop people who are more than a little stronger than him, so what if he could concentrate his ability back down to only lasting for a fraction of a second, but by doing so he can stop people several tiers of strength above him? For example, if he condensed it to last for 0.001 seconds he could freeze even Champa. Of course, he can't spam this ability, but in Dragon Ball, fractions of seconds do make a big difference over the course of a fight.
I also had an idea about him being able to choose for someone to skip time along with him, but that already happened in the anime when he killed that mob boss, so I don't think I need to ask about it.

Thanks for the feedback! My intention was of having that specific event being the divergence between U6 and U7 (for Saiyans only though)
Frost would be different from Freezer because of other reasons, probably a casuality made by the many divergences between the two universes (sort of like a butterfly effect, the two universes started off exactly the same but slowly
diverged) I will change my story though if Super gives us more info about how the parallel universes work, or if we finally get to meet more of the U6 Saiyans and they bring more Saiyan lore to the table.
Hopefully we will see Sadla too. I'm interested in your version of Caesar, have you already posted your fan fic or are you still working on it?

As for your question about Hit, I'm sure that's how it works (at least in the manga) Hit isn't able to stop the time as much as he wants against stronger opponents, but he still can.

[Alruneia]

Thanks for the feedback! My intention was of having that specific event being the divergence between U6 and U7 (for Saiyans only though)
Frost would be different from Freezer because of other reasons, probably a casuality made by the many divergences between the two universes (sort of like a butterfly effect, the two universes started off exactly the same but slowly
diverged) I will change my story though if Super gives us more info about how the parallel universes work, or if we finally get to meet more of the U6 Saiyans and they bring more Saiyan lore to the table.
Hopefully we will see Sadla too. I'm interested in your version of Caesar, have you already posted your fan fic or are you still working on it?

As for your question about Hit, I'm sure that's how it works (at least in the manga) Hit isn't able to stop the time as much as he wants against stronger opponents, but he still can.

I see. I'd think the divergences would add up much sooner, but I can't say that for sure.
I'm still working on my fanfic (currently going back and forth and filling in chapters 48-56), and I have my progress in my sig. I'm probably aiming for a 2019 release at this point, but I'll see how things turn out. I haven't gotten to where the Universe 6 saiyans are involved yet, so King Caesar is just a concept for now.
Hit is an interesting character to write, since he's not just superpowered, he has to use his techniques to fight at the top. That's why I'm trying to figure out ways to play with his ability.

[Gog]

Phew I've finially found about the hardest thing about writing fan fiction. Writing about them, never knew it would be this hard, anyhoo with the plot outline done of chapter two, I'm ready to go

[ekrolo2]

I've been thinking through my Vicious Gods Wrath stuff, specifically the power related things for the sequel moving forward that I wanted to propose to you guys. In that story, Goku & Vegeta are a 6 to Beerus' 10 (this story works off the movie mechanics) and when they use Super Saiyan Beyond God, they become 8s.

Since Toriyama intended for regular Super Saiyan to eventually become more powerful than SS2 and SS3, I've been thinking of running through that idea. Instead of Goku & Vegeta re-learning SS2 and SS3, their regular Super Saiyan forms increase in strength and as it does, they move up the god scale.

When SS1 increases power by 50 times, it brings them up 2 levels. When they upgrade it to an SS2 level multiplier they move up 4 levels and then 16 additional levels when they upgrade it to SS3 levels. In simpler terms it would look like this:

Saiyan Beyond God (Base) Goku & Vegeta - 6
Super Saiyan Beyond God Lvl 1 (Base x50) - 8
Super Saiyan Beyond God Lvl 2 (Base x100)- 10
Super Saiyan Beyond God Level 3 (Base x400) - 22

I would also have Super Saiyan Beyond God alter appearance wise as it grows more powerful. Lvl 1 would look like regular SS with a golden fire aura, Lvl 2 would remove some of Goku's bangs and add some lighting and Lvl 3 & above would add even more lighting, give Goku pupils and leave him with a single bang.

So, is this a decent system in keeping with the films or Super levels of convoluted.

[Anime Kitten]

I'm probably aiming for a 2019 release at this point, but I'll see how things turn out.

[spoiler][/spoiler]
I'm all for taking one's time, but... maybe aim for a mid to late 2017 release? Early 2018 at latest? Please?

[Alruneia]

I'm probably aiming for a 2019 release at this point, but I'll see how things turn out.

[spoiler][/spoiler]
I'm all for taking one's time, but... maybe aim for a mid to late 2017 release? Early 2018 at latest? Please?

It's a conservative estimate based on the fact that I wrote 31 chapters over the course of 2016. That lines up with late 2018 or early 2019, so I might be able to release it sometime next year, but there are side-stories and quality control and stuff. When I'm done, I will release (almost) daily, though, so that'll be an active four months, and I'll plug it on all channels.

[emperior]

I'm probably aiming for a 2019 release at this point, but I'll see how things turn out.

[spoiler][/spoiler]
I'm all for taking one's time, but... maybe aim for a mid to late 2017 release? Early 2018 at latest? Please?

Wow some of you guys are very dedicated. I would never write this much, maybe mine wouldn't be a fan fiction but more of a fan short story, as I would write is as a general outline without going too much in depth

[Gog]

Okay guys, don't panic but female Broly. What the fuck could we do with that?

[Alruneia]

Okay guys, don't panic but female Broly. What the fuck could we do with that?

Hope that the manga version doesn't have her, I guess. I severed the ties between Super and my fanfic after the Champa arc (meaning that Zamasu and beyond isn't canon to it), so I'm just leaning back and laughing at how preposterous this is. It's many fanfic writers' dream come true, at least!

[Gog]

Okay guys, don't panic but female Broly. What the fuck could we do with that?

Hope that the manga version doesn't have her, I guess. I severed the ties between Super and my fanfic after the Champa arc (meaning that Zamasu and beyond isn't canon to it), so I'm just leaning back and laughing at how preposterous this is. It's many fanfic writers' dream come true, at least!

I actually hope that she gets out early, so that we don't have to see her any more. Actually its more like the ultimate nightmare. So when the monster that lived reaches up to that point, expect evil things.

[Anime Kitten]

I'm assuming this "female Broli" thing is a spoiler for Super, so I'll ask if we can try to keep those under wraps, please? I just stopped following the Official Announcement Thread because I want to be surprised for this arc. Thanks in advance.

[Alruneia]

I'm assuming this "female Broli" thing is a spoiler for Super, so I'll ask if we can try to keep those under wraps, please? I just stopped following the Official Announcement Thread because I want to be surprised for this arc. Thanks in advance.

Brolyne isn't a spoiler, she was revealed in a teaser after the episode ended. We probably should use spoiler tags when discussing Super news in this thread, though.
of course that's not the actual name, don't be silly