Final - 1st KSSTK

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LightBing
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Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by LightBing » Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:32 pm

There won't be any semi-finals. He'll jump straight to the final.

This round had as a theme Food.

Please vote in the following manner:
I vote for (name of the user)
Input:(Observations, criticism, what have you...)

Deadline: 10/08/2015 20:00 UTC
Thank you for voting!
You can check the results in the main thread.
Final
Kamiccolo9 vs jcogginsa vs supercat
Written by Kamiccolo9
Written by jcogginsa
Written by supercat
Last edited by LightBing on Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by supercat » Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:55 pm

I just finished!!

Didn't even have time to proof read, so please excuse any grammatical and/or spelling errors that may be present. Again, I was pressed on time to get this in on time.
Last edited by supercat on Sun Aug 02, 2015 7:34 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by fadeddreams5 » Sun Aug 02, 2015 4:03 pm

Dang. Is supercat winning by default again? lol
"Dragon Ball once became a thing of the past to me, but after that, I got angry about the live action movie, re-wrote an entire movie script, and now I'm complaining about the quality of the new TV anime. It seems Dragon Ball has grown on me so much that I can't leave it alone." - Akira Toriyama on Dragon Ball Super

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by supercat » Sun Aug 02, 2015 4:08 pm

fadeddreams5 wrote:Dang. Is supercat winning by default again? lol
I just submitted my story, so feel free to count me in the voting.

Forgot to add the title. It's called "Toast of Vengeance".

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by LightBing » Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:14 pm

Added supercat. Vote away.

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by voltlunok » Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:49 pm

I cast my vote for Kamicollo9. :thumbup:
Going on hiatus. Too much stuff in RL to deal with for me to keep up with posts here for now. Was fun, hope you all have a nice day and future! Volt signing off.

With the many years on the net I've spent...I've learned being polite takes you much further then being a dick. So...lesson here is! Don't be a dick!

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Wed Aug 05, 2015 5:23 pm

Come on people! Let's get some votes in.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by jcogginsa » Wed Aug 05, 2015 5:28 pm

i forget, do we need to vote for our own stories?

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Wed Aug 05, 2015 5:29 pm

jcogginsa wrote:i forget, do we need to vote for our own stories?
Nope.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by LightBing » Fri Aug 07, 2015 7:36 am

I vote for jcogginsa.

The story has great rhythm and, contrary to your other story, a very satisfying conclusion. Plus excellent use of the theme.

Kamiccolo9 - The story fallen flat for me. Maybe it was how you depicted serious consequences from the actions of Beerus, that in the anime feel partially inconsequential; even if he was the ability to destroy everything. Still very well written.

supercat - A well fleshed out story. The size, helped build a more complete story. Why did they assumed Goku was alive? Whilst reading I was trying to conciliate my own perception of Cold and Freeza with yours. A much more hands on approach from your characterization. It was entertaining alternative universe setting.

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by Lord Beerus » Fri Aug 07, 2015 11:22 am

I vote for Kamiccolo9.

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by dbzfan7 » Fri Aug 07, 2015 12:41 pm

jcogginsa: I liked the story. It was cute, and got more interesting as it went on. Unfortunately I think you're hindered by the fact Gine hardly has much backstory or character to dig into. So it kinda ends up handicapping what you could be able to do. I liked how Bardock was here as he felt like his FOG self, without being that weird Minus Bardock. Not really a fan of Gine at all and think she's as stupid as Tarble, but that doesn't take away from the story one bit.

Supercat: I think this one went on too long. I think the beginning was unneeded or should have been abridged. When we get to the wolf planet is where things really picked up. Seeing a more cheerful like, but still evil Cold was pretty intriguing too. Seeing the relation between Freeza and Cold here really upsets me that FNF had it treated like it was nothing. While not counting towards the story itself, I don't think the whole blow up from space thing would work anyways since everyone could sense Freeza and Cold as they arrived from space. Goku probably coulda sensed the danger and should be enough to put a stop to the attack.

Kamiccolo: I enjoyed the delve into Beerus' character. While I'm not sure if it was implied, I felt Beerus here tried to be fair and destroy an uninhabited planet, but even still it pissed off a species. This kind of Beerus I prefer over a dick who practically makes a planet his slaves before destroying it. I felt for him when he destroyed those people as he has a job to do, and he was pretty generous. I think his rage coulda been more powerful if we had some more too it. Like blowing up his own world along with the Oracle Fish as it reminds him of Whis who he killed, and maybe something briefly of him turning on the earth at one point in his rampage. Everything else is pretty solid.


I vote for Kamiccolo.
Why Dragon Ball Consistency in something such as power levels matter!

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Fri Aug 07, 2015 1:10 pm

Thanks, both of you.

DBZfan, i hadn't actually implied that, but it works pretty well, so...go me? :P

The reason I didn't delve into the Earth stuff was because this story is set countless millennia after the events of DB. Beerus only cared about Earth because of Goku, Vegeta, and its food, and those are loooooooong since gone. Earth may have even already been destroyed by the death of the sun at this point.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by dbzfan7 » Fri Aug 07, 2015 7:22 pm

Kamiccolo9 wrote:Thanks, both of you.

DBZfan, i hadn't actually implied that, but it works pretty well, so...go me? :P

The reason I didn't delve into the Earth stuff was because this story is set countless millennia after the events of DB. Beerus only cared about Earth because of Goku, Vegeta, and its food, and those are loooooooong since gone. Earth may have even already been destroyed by the death of the sun at this point.
Ah I didn't catch that. Though something like leveling his own home including the Oracle fish I think woulda helped shown just how absolutely nothing is sacred to him anymore. Being so far gone that he's detached from anything and everything.
Why Dragon Ball Consistency in something such as power levels matter!

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Fri Aug 07, 2015 7:37 pm

dbzfan7 wrote:
Kamiccolo9 wrote:Thanks, both of you.

DBZfan, i hadn't actually implied that, but it works pretty well, so...go me? :P

The reason I didn't delve into the Earth stuff was because this story is set countless millennia after the events of DB. Beerus only cared about Earth because of Goku, Vegeta, and its food, and those are loooooooong since gone. Earth may have even already been destroyed by the death of the sun at this point.
Ah I didn't catch that. Though something like leveling his own home including the Oracle fish I think woulda helped shown just how absolutely nothing is sacred to him anymore. Being so far gone that he's detached from anything and everything.
Yeah, and after you mentioned that, I came up with about half a dozen ideas for something like that :lol:
Maybe in a later work.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by Doctor. » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:15 pm

I vote for Kamiccolo9's. His interpretation of Beerus' character was fantastic and the way he developed him was profound, too. Really well written and well paced, but I think he could have described the destruction of the universe a bit better, seemed a bit lackluster for something of the sort.

jcogginsa's story was nice and had some nice humor, on top of it being well written, but I think it's devoid of substance compared to the other two stories. Not bad at all, though. And supercat's story I feel went on for a bit too long, though I always love Freeza-centric stories, I cannot lie, it's well-written and a spot on interpretation of Freeza's character, well done.

So, this first tournament produced some great stories, I enjoyed reading them all, even if I always forget to vote (<.<). I'll be awaiting the next one, and I'll probably participate that time, too.

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by supercat » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:18 pm

Thanks for the feedback dbzfan7! and Doctor! I did get the feeling that the beginning was a bit tedious, but I wanted to make the overall concept fit into a hypothetical what if scenario as fluidly as possible. I'll probably come out wit a new and improved version in the near future as the vast majority of these are all first drafts that I intend on polishing down the road.

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by Doctor. » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:25 pm

supercat wrote:Thanks for the feedback dbzfan7! and Doctor! I did get the feeling that the beginning was a bit tedious, but I wanted to make the overall concept fit into a hypothetical what if scenario as fluidly as possible. I'll probably come out wit a new and improved version in the near future as the vast majority of these are all first drafts that I intend on polishing down the road.
It's more at the end that we learn that it's a what-if scenario, though, so the beginning part is not something that would be entirely necessary. I still enjoyed it, just thought it did drag for a bit.

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:30 pm

Danke, Herr Doktor.

I'll probably get around to rewriting this one eventually, when I'm not constrained by stuff like word limits (I was already over 500 above the word count :lol: )
This particular story was heavily influenced by Jim Starlin's Marvel Universe:The End #6, which most people know as the "Heart of the Universe" story. I was trying to go for an end of the universe tale similar to Starlin's, but given the differences in the character's involved, I agree that it doesn't work as well for Beerus as it did for Thanos. Still, I'm satisfied with the effort for now.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Final - 1st KSSTK

Post by fadeddreams5 » Fri Aug 07, 2015 9:10 pm

Haven't taken the time to read these. Will do this weekend. =D

Maybe not by the deadline tho. >.>
"Dragon Ball once became a thing of the past to me, but after that, I got angry about the live action movie, re-wrote an entire movie script, and now I'm complaining about the quality of the new TV anime. It seems Dragon Ball has grown on me so much that I can't leave it alone." - Akira Toriyama on Dragon Ball Super

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