The final chapter of the epic cooking saga (with barely any cooking) is here!
Chapter 6 - The Moment of Truth!
[spoiler]"Is the dish ready?" Beerus asks from his folding chair, enjoying a nice cold glass of orange juice with Goten and Trunks blowing cold wind from each side towards him. He directs the question to an anxious Bulma fidgeting in place nearby, her eyes practically glued to the entrance of the building.
"Huh?" She registers his question a few moments too later. "Oh! Oh yeah!" A fake smile graces her features. "They're probably just putting the finishing touches on!"
"You should hope that's the case, for your sake," He chews one of the pieces of ice floating inside the glass. "Even if he does show up with it, I doubt it'll end up as one of the finest dishes I'll ever eat."
"I wouldn't dismiss the possibility so quickly, Lord Beerus," His traveling companion, the peculiar looking humanoid known as Whis walks up to them with a tray of sliced fish. "Ours is a universe of many possibilities after all."
"If I thought it outright impossible, Whis, this planet wouldn't exist anymore," The cat-God says with a disturbingly conversational tone. "Complete dismissal and a healthy dose of skepticism are not the same things."
"All I ask is that you keep an open mind," His companion advises, receiving a barely audible grunt from Beerus as a response.
Bulma barely pays attention to them, opting to stare back at the door on the other side of the pool. She unspokenly agrees wth Beerus' suggestion, to hope their choice to cook so close to the time limit will end up helping out in the moment of truth.
"Hey everybody!" Goku's sudden appearance and yell almost make her heart skip. Snapping her attention to the pool area, she sees him smirking there with the rest of the search party.
She practically runs to the four warriors and leans close to Goku's ear. "Did you find them?"
"Oh we found them alright," Her husband replies with a smug voice and grin to match it. "We stole them right from under Pilaf and his gang of thieves. In fact, they never saw it coming!"
When he all but cackles, Bulma stares at him in disbelief. Particularly because of how anxious this entire situation has made him today. With how pleased he looks right now, you'd never guess that.
"The best part is," Goku looks around, casts a fleeting glance at Beerus behind her then whispers in her ear. "We know how to get a Super Saiyan God!"
At that precise moment, Piccolo's arm goes around Goku's neck, putting him a choke hold. Before he can protest, both Vegeta and even Gohan attack him. His son delivers a quick punch to his gut while her husband elbows him over the head. Without a peep, he falls to the ground with Piccolo snatching a capsule out of the air.
The whole thing leaves her and anyone else observing it, speechless. That is until a distraught Chi-Chi rushes to her unconscious husband, shooting glares at the perpetrators, particularly Gohan.
"Gohan!" She quietly yells at her first born son. "How could you-"
"It's better this way," Gohan says firmly while picking his father off the ground and tossing him over his shoulder. "Believe me, if dad got his way, we'd get into even more trouble. And I can't afford that, not anymore."
Chi-Chi's mouth hangs open at not only for how little of an effect her outrage has on him, but also for how he unflinchingly stares her down. Without another word, he and the others from the search party walk off to put Goku somewhere more comfortable than the cold tiles near the pool area.
Instead of finding relief in the fact the Dragon Balls are back in their hands, the whole display leaves her even more anxious. Not something a woman should feel on her 45th birthday, not that she'll tell the others she's a day over 38.
Just when she sighs in a desperate attempt to relax her nerves, someone else yells nearby. This time, it's Krillin.
"Hey everyone!" He calls out. "Yamcha and Ox-King are coming out!"
Right on cue, the doors of Capsule Crops main building explode open, literally unleashing fire and smoke from the inside out. The clearing smoke reveals a blinding white light on the other side, dazzling and blinding everyone watching it.
Two shadowy figures appear in the middle of this display of light, smoke, and fire. One is a towering behemoth with horns on each side of his head while the other is a smaller yet muscular one. Both take their sweet time emerging from the doorway.
"Will you two hurry up already?!" Bulma yells at them. "We don't have time for your stupid posturing!"
The two men practically jump back from her voice, casting nervous glances at one another before rushing over to Beerus and Whis. To her, and everyone else' shock, they look absolutely worn down. As worn down as Goku and Vegeta are after another one of their life or death battles.
Various kinds of cuts and bruises are visible all over their skin and tattered clothing. Joining these injuries are a multitude of stains, some from food, others from sweat and some of, shockingly enough, blood.
Most shocking of all, though, is Yamcha suddenly sporting a fairly large beard and the Ox-Kings already present one growing several times over, now it reaches down to his waist!
"What did you guys do in there?" Krillin asks Yamcha, equally perplexed by their appearance as everyone else now huddling around them and Beerus' nearby table. "You look like you've been to the Room of Spirit and time!"
"Cooking on this level is pretty intense, Krillin," Yamcha states with the same tone of voice he always uses whenever he's cocky. Something she immediately wants to slap out of him until Ox-King backs him up.
"It's true," The old man confirms. "Cooking presents its own, unique challenges, some quite similar to martial arts, others quite different!"
"Please," Vegeta scoffs at the very notion. "Any clown can do what you've done in under a minute, much less a few hours."
"You're more than welcome to prove that, Vegeta," Ox-King casually challenges him. "After all, there's five minutes left to the deadline."
"Yeah, Vegeta," Yamcha backs him up, ever so smugly. "Go for it! According to you, you'll make half a dozen amazing dishes in five minutes!"
"I quite like the sound of this idea, myself," Beerus thirds the suggestion with an amused smile on his face, melting away Vegeta's confidence instantly. "It can't possibly be worse than your little dance number, after all."
Vegeta tries to keep a neutral expression but Bulma notices the finer details giving away his fright. The small bits of sweat seeping from the edge of his forehead, the small twitch of his right eye and the shallowness of his breathing. A fear which only infects everyone else when the God of Destruction lets out a small yet distinctly malicious laugh.
"Relax, Vegeta," He leans back into the chair. "I won't force you into such a task. Watching you squirm just now was more than enough for me. Back to the matter at hand," He looks at the Earth's finest chefs. "Ready to present your mind blowing dish to me?"
Both of them stiffen upon hearing Beerus address them directly, their expressions become neutral and their arms fall to their sides as they turn to address him.
"Yes, Lord Beerus!" They say in unison with a respectful bow. "We have the dish you so humbly requested!"
She notices Yamcha reach into his pocket and take a capsule out, gently placing it on the table before it vanishes in a puff of smoke. Everyone leans closer and closer to the dissipating cloud, eager and/or fearful of what exactly they've prepared for the God of Destruction.
A moment later, they have their answer: a simple glass, no bigger than a closed fist with a bit of chocolate pudding inside and a tiny spoon with which to eat it.
As she stares at the bowl in stone-faced horror, Bulma remembers all the times she's wanted to smash Yamcha's face in. Either for doing something stupid or reckless or for flirting with other women, it amounts to a fairly long list of near smashings alone. Never mind the times she's actually done it.
But right now, in this very moment? She's seriously thinking about killing him. Ox-King too, Chi-Chi be damned. Although, given the fire practically blazing from the woman's eyes, she may get to her father first.
"Quite an appropriate choice," Whis comments after sucking down on another piece of sliced fish. "The meal responsible for getting you into this mess is what may get you out of it."
"That's kind of what we were going for," Yamcha admits with a small chuckle, seemingly oblivious to the dozen or so people ready to kill him and his cooking partner.
"We thought the irony would amuse you," Ox-King explains further as Beerus takes the bowl into his hand. His tiny nose wrinkles mere inches away from it as he takes the scent of the pudding in. This simple act makes everyone feel even more terrified. Even Vegeta, usually too proud or stubborn to admit fear is all but chewing on his own nails at the back of the gathered group.
"Indeed it does," Beerus confirms with a smile directed at the chefs. "Well, you've made a good first impression, at least, but the true test lies with the actual meal."
He takes the spoon into his hand, making the metaphorical edge everyone's on that much worse. With a simple swipe of his hand, he takes a small chunk out of the pudding and devours it.
His first response to the taste? The vanishing of his pupils followed by the eerie rise of his purple aura...
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Meanwhile, Sacred World of the Kai
"Quite a fascinating discovery you've made here," Old Kai admits as he gazes into the crystal ball situated on the ground with his younger, more experienced fellow Kai standing next to him. Together, they gaze into the past of Planet Saiya, during the appearance of the first Super Saiyan many years ago.
"Indeed! According to these images from the past, it seems the original Super Saiyan managed to combine his Great Ape form with that of a Super Saiyan!" Kibito Kai exclaims as images of the golden, towering ape reveal his destruction of the original Saiyan homeworld. "This could hold the key to attaining the power of a Super Saiyan God!"
"Perhaps," Old Kai musses as he witnesses more of the rampage. "Still, this seems to make the user quite violent, if we're to deliver this information to Goku and Vegeta, we must be careful-"
Without warning a pillar of orange, cascading energy pierces from the cloudy sky and smashes into the crystal ball, vaporizing it under the weight of its power. The two Kai's scamper off as the pillar burrows into their planet, creating a tornado effect which nearly sucks them into it.
"What in the world is happening, great ancestor?!" Kibito Kai asks as they dodge the multitude of rocks and trees flying towards them.
"The idiot humans have angered Beerus, that's what!" He curses the inhabitants of Earth. "They've killed us all!"
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Meanwhile, Sorbet's Ship in space
"What is the meaning of this, Tagoma?!" Sorbet, the diminutive acting leader of the now leaderless Planet Trade Organization demands from his equally frightened lieutenant. Mere moments after receiving word of a Basian rebellion, a pillar of purple energy caught their ship in a sort of tornado effect, pushing them towards it.
His much taller, usually far more stoic right-hand man can barely stand as their vessel shakes horribly from the energy sucking them in. A look of sheer terror graces his facial features.
"I don't know sir!" He yells just before finally smashing face first into the ground. "I've never seen anything like this!"
"Damn it all!" Sorbet yells, mentally cursing the incompetence of his men. Pressing down on the handle of his chair, he brings up communications with the engineering section. "Mister Free! Get us out of this mess before we're all killed!"
"I cannot do it captain!" The main engineer yells back as the engines explodes all around him. "I don't have the power-"
Suddenly, a loud creaking noise echoes throughout the ship just ahead of it snapping in half. In vain, the soldiers capable of flight and survival in space try to escape but it's useless, the cascading energy is simply far too powerful for any of them. Soon enough, they, along with their vessel are sucked in and promptly erased from existence.
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Meanwhile, the Moon
Beerus' energy destroys it.
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Meanwhile, Earth, Capsule Corp HQ
Growing up with Goku and the others, Bulma has come to experience the effects of their powers many times. From blowing up entire planetoids to shaking the entire Earth to firing off attacks capable of annihilating suns, she's seen and/or felt it all before.
But this? This is completely different and terrifying in ways she could never have imagined. The weather itself shifts around the pillar of energy unleashed from the screaming Beerus hovering above the pool air.
One moment it's perfectly sunny, then a mass of gray, foreboding clouds gather and unleash a hailstorm on them, a hailstorm which shifts into a snowstorm, then the clouds vanish into naughtiness, replaced by night time before shifting once more into the daylight.
Pieces of rock, water, trees and anything not strong enough to resist the strength of Beerus' energy sucking everything towards is either flies around the pillar or vanishes inside, never to be seen again.
And so the cycle goes on and on with only Beerus' attendant, Whis, standing perfectly still and calm in the midst of this storm with utter ease. Everyone else? They're barely hanging on.
Bulma manages to look around in spite of the gust of wind blasting all around her, all of the fighters capable of flight are in their strongest states, trying desperately to fly opposite of the pillar with all the power they can muster.
In the storm, she catches a glimpse at Yamcha and Ox-King, held by the waist by Gohan and just by looking at their pained expressions, she can't feel mad at them for this. If anything, the looks of sheer disappointment and pain gracing their faces are enough to almost break her heart.
The others are either too furious at themselves for not going with Goku's idea, too angry to care for the duo's failure or too frightened to care about anything but survival.
Yet, just when she's about to resign herself to her fate, the cascade of energy vanishes as though it never happened. What debris still flew across the air comes flying back down, making her ruined backyard seem like the perfect stage for a post-apocalyptic movie.
Beerus descends from the sky, his face obscured by shadows and his entire body as stiff as a statue. She knows everyone's staring at him, she can feel their tension so thickly it's practically become a tangible entity she can touch.
"Humans," He says with a flat voice, his head almost robotically turning in the direction of Yamcha and Ox-King. "Your dish..."
He clenches his fist as his purple aura begins to flare up once again, she feels Vegeta stiffen behind her, no doubt ready to fight.
"... Was delicious..." And with that, he falls face first into the crater with a loud thud, as stiffly as a statue would fall if it got knocked over.
"Congratulation to you two," Whis says with an earnest smile and a small clap of his hands. "I haven't seen Lord Beerus love a dish quite so much in at least 900 years! The fact you've managed to almost literally blow his mind... Simply astounding!"
He tosses the God of Destruction over his shoulder before turning back to address everyone. "On his behalf, I both apologize for interrupting your celebration and thank you for having us! Truly, it's been a wondrous experience!"
He taps his staff against the floor twice before vanishing into a ray of bright, green light in the sky. The last sight of him merely a twinkle in air.
No one says anything initially, they're too busy processing what just happened. The first thing to break the silence is a laugh, a small, timid but genuine laugh. One belonging to Yamcha.
"We did it..." He states in barely above a whisper to Ox-King. "We... actually did it..."
The older man looks at his cooking partner and lets out a heartier laugh. "We did it...!" He leaps back to his feet, causing a small earthquake in the process before punching the air. "WE DID IT!"
On cue, everyone erupts in cheers, joining the two cooks in celebration as their words finally sink in: they did it, they saved the world! The majority of those attending gang up on the two cooks, hoisting them up into the air, with the super humans taking Ox-King, and lifting them both in the air.
"Yamcha! Ox-King! Yamcha! Ox-King! Yamcha! Ox-King!" They cheer with even Piccolo and her own, highly skeptical husband giving the duo genuine smirks of respect and appreciation. Though, they'll be damned before joining the others.
Neither does Bulma, not for any ill will towards them, but right now? She prefers to just watch the happy smiles on their faces, smiles of genuine pride she's only seen a few occasions on the old, retired Ox-King and barely ever on her old friend Yamcha.
"Told you he'd pull through in the end," Master Roshi walks up next to hear, his glasses not masking his own swelling pride at the success of his students. "For any the regrets, those two may have after today, they'll always have this. This victory is theirs and theirs alone, and I wouldn't have it any other way."
"You know something old man?" She smiles at the so-called drunken old man next to her. "Neither would I!"
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And so, Yamcha and Ox-King successfully saved the world! I originally intended for them to have botched the original dish and just give Beerus regular pudding but once again, that'd be cheapening a genuine victory for a cheap gag and I didn't want to do that, not for these guys.
I also never intended on showing the actual process of them cooking the dish. For one, I know fuck all about a side of jack shit about cooking and secondly, their mastery of cooking is so amazing, no writer, least of all me, could ever do it justice by actually showing it.
Thus, I'll let you guys imagine it for yourselves! Thank you all for taking the time to read this and please! Check out my other Dragon Ball fanfics! The Goku Black one-shots, the Resurrection F remake or the Future Trunks AU are all there, available for your reading pleasure 
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And I would certainly love to see a sequel to Vicious Gods Wrath.