General Fan Fiction Thread

[ekrolo2]

Think my next fanfiction is going to be a Cell-based one about a tournament in Hell where everyone's power is set to equal (done by the Gods), in which the winner is allowed to return back to the living. Just have to think of a way to make the setting work, why the hell would they allow this?

Maybe a chance at redeeming themselves? In the DBverse you get wiped out then reincarnated in a new body, I can see the Gods offering hell's inhabitants something like a chance of self preservation. If they get redeemed, they can get to keep their bodies with worthy souls and keep existing forever as themselves.

[Kanassa]

So, how do you guys decide on where your story should start in the initial chapter? I've been racking my brain trying to figure out where to begin and out of the ideas I've got, none of them feels right.

Decide what you want your readers to know and feel when they start up the story, they need a scene that grips them, interests them, throws them bait.

For me, in my fanfic, since it's set in Trunks's timeline I wanted my introductory chapters to first tell the audience flat out that shit be going down, I open with the Supreme Kai of Time noticing that changes are occurring specifically in Trunks's time. From there, I lead to catching up with the timeline itself, getting the readers aqainted with the stakes, what everybody's been up to and introduce the protagonists. Re-introduced Trunks and Bulma, introduced Pan and lay down her path ahead and her goals, introduced F!16 and the Pilaf Gang to examine their roles.

And after all that, I finally allowed the audience to get their first glimpse at the villains now that they know who's being threatened. Starting off by having the villains show that they're a threat in the first place. Easily doing away with Shin and the Z sword, showing a plan as well as hinting at their motivations for later down the line.

[ekrolo2]

Decide what you want your readers to know and feel when they start up the story, they need a scene that grips them, interests them, throws them bait.

Would you consider this an effective way of setting a mood for the story?

[spoiler]So, in the end of Vicious Gods Wrath, my remake of F, Freeza is killed by Beerus but before he does that, he destroys New Namek, leaves the Earth cast with no Dragon Balls, kills Roshi and kidnaps Gohan, Goten and Trunks as hostages (in the event Goku & Vegeta got the upper hand and he needed a deterrent for them).

I thought about starting it with one of the main POV characters, Bulma, working on a spaceship intended for Goku & Vegeta to travel into space with and find the boys. We'd start with her working on it, using the labor of it to keep her mind off the fact her son's been kidnapped and her numerous fights with Vegeta over the past few days. Through that we'd hear about other things like Marron reacting to her grandpa Roshi being dead, hearing about Chi-Chi kicking Goku out of the house and him and Vegeta basically living off the land somewhere until the spaceship is ready to take them off world... Then it would transition into a surprise meeting with the president. Freeza's invasion resulted in the destruction of a whole city (West City) and the suburbs of Satan City being annihilated, people noticed these super powered individuals and how Mister Satan didn't do jack shit to fight the aliens off (Mister Boo took him and Videl to safety when Freeza attacked). The president wants reveals that he knows it's Goku and his friends who are the true heroes but he let Mister Satan take the glory, now people are aware of ki-powered people and he wants to prevent invasions like this from happening with Bulma's help.

This would basically set up the "Reinforcing Earth" storyline where Bulma would invent various machines like a deep space monitoring network, sonic and ki suppressing weaponry. Mister Satan would name the non-Saiyan's his successors and brand them off as the Dragon Team (after suggesting Z-fighters and Earths Special Forces) for brand recognition. Krillin and Yamcha would start training people in ki, reviving the Turtle School to honor Master Roshi while Tien and Chiaotzu would restart the Crane School for much of the same reasons.[/spoiler]

[Gog]

Decide what you want your readers to know and feel when they start up the story, they need a scene that grips them, interests them, throws them bait.

Would you consider this an effective way of setting a mood for the story?

[spoiler]So, in the end of Vicious Gods Wrath, my remake of F, Freeza is killed by Beerus but before he does that, he destroys New Namek, leaves the Earth cast with no Dragon Balls, kills Roshi and kidnaps Gohan, Goten and Trunks as hostages (in the event Goku & Vegeta got the upper hand and he needed a deterrent for them).

I thought about starting it with one of the main POV characters, Bulma, working on a spaceship intended for Goku & Vegeta to travel into space with and find the boys. We'd start with her working on it, using the labor of it to keep her mind off the fact her son's been kidnapped and her numerous fights with Vegeta over the past few days. Through that we'd hear about other things like Marron reacting to her grandpa Roshi being dead, hearing about Chi-Chi kicking Goku out of the house and him and Vegeta basically living off the land somewhere until the spaceship is ready to take them off world... Then it would transition into a surprise meeting with the president. Freeza's invasion resulted in the destruction of a whole city (West City) and the suburbs of Satan City being annihilated, people noticed these super powered individuals and how Mister Satan didn't do jack shit to fight the aliens off (Mister Boo took him and Videl to safety when Freeza attacked). The president wants reveals that he knows it's Goku and his friends who are the true heroes but he let Mister Satan take the glory, now people are aware of ki-powered people and he wants to prevent invasions like this from happening with Bulma's help.

This would basically set up the "Reinforcing Earth" storyline where Bulma would invent various machines like a deep space monitoring network, sonic and ki suppressing weaponry. Mister Satan would name the non-Saiyan's his successors and brand them off as the Dragon Team (after suggesting Z-fighters and Earths Special Forces) for brand recognition. Krillin and Yamcha would start training people in ki, reviving the Turtle School to honor Master Roshi while Tien and Chiaotzu would restart the Crane School for much of the same reasons.[/spoiler]

That's an incredible starting point for a story. On the topic what is the mood that your trying to set for the story?

[ekrolo2]

That's an incredible starting point for a story. On the topic what is the mood that your trying to set for the story?

Vicious Gods Wrath ends with everyone either tired or frustrated or both and since this begins very closely after it, I'd keep that going. As it goes along and everyone finds something to work on, something to build their spirits up, it would get much more optimistic as it goes along. The ending is meant to be the exact opposite of Gods Wrath with a big "FUCK YEAH!" all-around victory for the good guys and the bad guys getting creamed.

If Gods Wrath was the Empire Strikes Back, this would be the Return of the Jedi.

Story structure wise I'd make closer to the Song of Ice and Fire (game of thrones) books where you've got multiple POV characters who're all somehow tied to the main plot to varying degrees. Right now I've got these ones lined up: Goku, Vegeta, Zaka (Jaco's girlfriend), Piccolo, Bulma, Krillin, Beerus, Sorbet and maybe even Oob.

[Anime Kitten]

I don't personally think it is, but I might as well ask anyway - is permanent body damage too dark for Dragon Ball fics? As an example, someone losing an arm and never getting it back. I know DB has had arm severing before, but it's never been permanent.

[Gog]

I don't personally think it is, but I might as well ask anyway - is permanent body damage too dark for Dragon Ball fics? As an example, someone losing an arm and never getting it back. I know DB has had arm severing before, but it's never been permanent.

Nah, go ahead and chop away. Something that I would consider to be too dark for a Dragon Ball Fic would be rape or something, but hey that even turned up in a Dragon Ball Fic, so nothing is really dark to put in a Dragon Ball Fan Fiction. It just depends on the tone of the story that your writing.

[Kanassa]

Decide what you want your readers to know and feel when they start up the story, they need a scene that grips them, interests them, throws them bait.

Would you consider this an effective way of setting a mood for the story?

[spoiler]So, in the end of Vicious Gods Wrath, my remake of F, Freeza is killed by Beerus but before he does that, he destroys New Namek, leaves the Earth cast with no Dragon Balls, kills Roshi and kidnaps Gohan, Goten and Trunks as hostages (in the event Goku & Vegeta got the upper hand and he needed a deterrent for them).

I thought about starting it with one of the main POV characters, Bulma, working on a spaceship intended for Goku & Vegeta to travel into space with and find the boys. We'd start with her working on it, using the labor of it to keep her mind off the fact her son's been kidnapped and her numerous fights with Vegeta over the past few days. Through that we'd hear about other things like Marron reacting to her grandpa Roshi being dead, hearing about Chi-Chi kicking Goku out of the house and him and Vegeta basically living off the land somewhere until the spaceship is ready to take them off world... Then it would transition into a surprise meeting with the president. Freeza's invasion resulted in the destruction of a whole city (West City) and the suburbs of Satan City being annihilated, people noticed these super powered individuals and how Mister Satan didn't do jack shit to fight the aliens off (Mister Boo took him and Videl to safety when Freeza attacked). The president wants reveals that he knows it's Goku and his friends who are the true heroes but he let Mister Satan take the glory, now people are aware of ki-powered people and he wants to prevent invasions like this from happening with Bulma's help.

This would basically set up the "Reinforcing Earth" storyline where Bulma would invent various machines like a deep space monitoring network, sonic and ki suppressing weaponry. Mister Satan would name the non-Saiyan's his successors and brand them off as the Dragon Team (after suggesting Z-fighters and Earths Special Forces) for brand recognition. Krillin and Yamcha would start training people in ki, reviving the Turtle School to honor Master Roshi while Tien and Chiaotzu would restart the Crane School for much of the same reasons.[/spoiler]

It's a very effective opening and seems to continue naturally from the point you left off in the previous one (Well, I'm assuiming from how you descrbed the ending). Though, if you want a continued feel oftiredness, maybe have Bulma's work constantly being interrupted, having her get more tressed and upitity with every interruption until she's chewing out the President (Isn't he a King in this universe?)

[Kanassa]

I don't personally think it is, but I might as well ask anyway - is permanent body damage too dark for Dragon Ball fics? As an example, someone losing an arm and never getting it back. I know DB has had arm severing before, but it's never been permanent.

Dragonball Super just had the eradication of an entire timeline, one that can't be brought back and was the only thing one of the main character's had left to protect. Nothing is too dark for Dragonball. It's all in the execution.

[ekrolo2]

It's a very effective opening and seems to continue naturally from the point you left off in the previous one (Well, I'm assuiming from how you descrbed the ending). Though, if you want a continued feel oftiredness, maybe have Bulma's work constantly being interrupted, having her get more tressed and upitity with every interruption until she's chewing out the President (Isn't he a King in this universe?)

He is king, but for some reason I keep calling him the President (too much Independence Day in my youth I guess).

I was thinking about Bulma trying and failing at both angles. She's trying to build the ship to get away but messes something up and it reminds her of her personal life problems and that leads to another easily avoidable mechanical issue. So by the time she meets with the King, she's just about ready to bite somebody's head off.

[Kanassa]

How do you hadnle villains that are supposed to be both comedic and intimidating?

[spoiler]I have the main villain, who's introduced one shotting a character, LITERALLY shaking and break the world around them with his entrance, and unleashing a demon army upon the Earth. Then the next time he's seen he's almost in tears at just being able to stand on Earth (He's been imprisoned for centuries), before he bakes brownies for the other villains for doing a good job.

Then I have a villain who's essentially a shark that see's everybody as his little fishy feast, hunting down and eating his food with his blood pumping... Oh an he also dances his way through the streets, mocks his opponents on their lack of rhythm, tries his very best to pull a Micheal jackson 'EEHEE!' all while doing an impression of this[/spoiler]

Just feel like I might be making them seem like less of a threat

[TheUltimateNinja]

Are there any fanfics/doujins that introduce tons of new SSJ forms? Like not run of the mill SSJ5/SSJ6 stuff, all the way to 10 at least.

[Rubens]

How do you handle villains that are supposed to be both comedic and intimidating?
[spoiler]I have the main villain, who's introduced one shotting a character, LITERALLY shaking and break the world around them with his entrance, and unleashing a demon army upon the Earth. Then the next time he's seen he's almost in tears at just being able to stand on Earth (He's been imprisoned for centuries), before he bakes brownies for the other villains for doing a good job.

Then I have a villain who's essentially a shark that see's everybody as his little fishy feast, hunting down and eating his food with his blood pumping... Oh an he also dances his way through the streets, mocks his opponents on their lack of rhythm, tries his very best to pull a Micheal jackson 'EEHEE!'[/spoiler]
Just feel like I might be making them seem like less of a threat

I'm not sure, but I'd say that Reacoom (and the rest of the Ginyu force) are a good example of a comedic and intimidating villain. Another example would be fat majin Buu. You can work with silly poses, extravagant looks, attacks with colorful names... but when your character gets serious, make sure everyone notices it (like Buu does when he slightly opens his eyes). That's my suggestion.

Another idea, since you're going with Michael Jackson, you can even have his fighting style to be dancing.

[Kanassa]

How do you handle villains that are supposed to be both comedic and intimidating?
[spoiler]I have the main villain, who's introduced one shotting a character, LITERALLY shaking and break the world around them with his entrance, and unleashing a demon army upon the Earth. Then the next time he's seen he's almost in tears at just being able to stand on Earth (He's been imprisoned for centuries), before he bakes brownies for the other villains for doing a good job.

Then I have a villain who's essentially a shark that see's everybody as his little fishy feast, hunting down and eating his food with his blood pumping... Oh an he also dances his way through the streets, mocks his opponents on their lack of rhythm, tries his very best to pull a Micheal jackson 'EEHEE!'[/spoiler]
Just feel like I might be making them seem like less of a threat

I'm not sure, but I'd say that Reacoom (and the rest of the Ginyu force) are a good example of a comedic and intimidating villain. Another example would be fat majin Buu. You can work with silly poses, extravagant looks, attacks with colorful names... but when your character gets serious, make sure everyone notices it (like Buu does when he slightly opens his eyes). That's my suggestion.

Another idea, since you're going with Michael Jackson, you can even have his fighting style to be dancing.

That is his fighting style

[Rubens]

How do you handle villains that are supposed to be both comedic and intimidating?
[spoiler]I have the main villain, who's introduced one shotting a character, LITERALLY shaking and break the world around them with his entrance, and unleashing a demon army upon the Earth. Then the next time he's seen he's almost in tears at just being able to stand on Earth (He's been imprisoned for centuries), before he bakes brownies for the other villains for doing a good job.

Then I have a villain who's essentially a shark that see's everybody as his little fishy feast, hunting down and eating his food with his blood pumping... Oh an he also dances his way through the streets, mocks his opponents on their lack of rhythm, tries his very best to pull a Micheal jackson 'EEHEE!'[/spoiler]
Just feel like I might be making them seem like less of a threat

I'm not sure, but I'd say that Reacoom (and the rest of the Ginyu force) are a good example of a comedic and intimidating villain. Another example would be fat majin Buu. You can work with silly poses, extravagant looks, attacks with colorful names... but when your character gets serious, make sure everyone notices it (like Buu does when he slightly opens his eyes). That's my suggestion.

Another idea, since you're going with Michael Jackson, you can even have his fighting style to be dancing.

That is his fighting style

Cool!

[Kanassa]

Found this 'guide' online, pretty accurate...

[ekrolo2]

Found this 'guide' online, pretty accurate...

I'm surprised "Excess the bad, ignore the good" isn't on here but then again, this is the DB fandom which treats Goku like a saintly hero which he isn't

[Kanassa]

Found this 'guide' online, pretty accurate...

I'm surprised "Excess the bad, ignore the good" isn't on here but then again, this is the DB fandom which treats Goku like a saintly hero which he isn't

Goku is treate as two extremes in the fandom, either he's a saint or he's the devil, no middle ground.

[ekrolo2]

Found this 'guide' online, pretty accurate...

I'm surprised "Excess the bad, ignore the good" isn't on here but then again, this is the DB fandom which treats Goku like a saintly hero which he isn't

Goku is treate as two extremes in the fandom, either he's a saint or he's the devil, no middle ground.

I'd say that's applicable here but if you call Goku out on his bad behavior elsewhere, it's maddening how fast and feverishly they go to his defense. Not that I can entirely blame him, unlike Gohan who's hype remains only slightly more baffling than Martian Manhunter's, Goku being thought of us a saint is something the original dub helped spawn.

[Kanassa]

I'm surprised "Excess the bad, ignore the good" isn't on here but then again, this is the DB fandom which treats Goku like a saintly hero which he isn't

Goku is treate as two extremes in the fandom, either he's a saint or he's the devil, no middle ground.

I'd say that's applicable here but if you call Goku out on his bad behavior elsewhere, it's maddening how fast and feverishly they go to his defense. Not that I can entirely blame him, unlike Gohan who's hype remains only slightly more baffling than Martian Manhunter's, Goku being thought of us a saint is something the original dub helped spawn.

Really, when the subject of the dub comes up you're either hearing of his heroic nature, or how in the sub he's a dick. Goku's selfish and naive, but none of his actions come from a place of malous (Aside from Piccolo, Frieza and Black), they come of him not taking into account the ramifications of what he does. Well, aside from Gero, he was blatantly told the consequences that were destined to happen then.

An next question, how do you usually handle a sad scene? Getting across the emotion and all?