A quick rewrite of the Granolah the Survivor arc

[Draconic]

So, the objectives of this rewrite are as follows:
- Keep most of the characters and the story structure the same, in order for it to still be able to be called the same arc;
- Change enough of the plot details to make it fit better lore wise and character wise, while making it bearable.

The beginning would pretty much be kept the same: Granolah runs errands for Elec in order to make money. He brings Elec 7-3 and finds out about Freeza’s ressurection and the Saiyans survival. Gas kicks his ass a little, to showcase he’s the strongest Heeter.

This sets him up on the path of revenge. He uses Monaito’s Dragon Balls to try and become the strongest in the Universe. The dragon can’t fulfill that request, of course, and explains to him that only the Super Dragon Balls can, but they are currently inactive. It’s going to be a couple more months before they become active again.

In turn, Granolah wishes to be the strongest he possibly could. The dragon grants that wish, giving Granolah only ten more years to live. This doesn’t make Granolah the strongest in the universe. He would still be below Goku and Vegeta by quite a lot, but stronger than basically everybody else of importance in the story.

After the wish, Granolah goes back to Elec and kicks all of the gang’s asses, making them basically his underlings, in the search for the SDBs. His goal is to gather the SDBs to become the Universe’s strongest and have Freeza and the Saiyans brought to Cereal in order to get his revenge.

The whole gang goes to Zuno to learn about how to get the SDBs. Zuno answers them 10 questions and they set off, with new knowledge. The questions remain a mystery to the audience, but they purtain mostly to knowledge these characters don’t have, which the audience does.

First thing, Oil and Maki go to Earth to steal the Dragon Radar and pit Goku and Vegeta versus Granolah.
They steal the radar and take the Saiyans to Cereal, where Granolah attacks Goku and Vegeta. In typical Saiyan fashion, the two take turns, with Granolah defeating Super Saiyan 3 Goku, who sandbags the fight. Vegeta goes next, defeating Granolah with Super Saiyan God.

In the meantime, using the Radar, the Heeters find the Cerealian DBs and wish to have all the Super Dragon Balls brought to Planet Cereal, which, in the meantime, became active.

Elec betrays Granolah and wishes for Gas to become the strongest in the Universe. But, seeing as the Saiyans hide their potential, he words the wish in such a way that he will trade more of his life for more power, in case Gas is ever surpassed.

Gas then defeats UI Goku, prompting Vegeta to take his stand and we get the introduction to Ultra Ego. He gains advantage on Gas, until Gas trades life for power and becomes even stronger, again.

Witnessing this, Granolah become distraught, thinking there’s no way to defeat Gas. However, he is happy knowing that even though Gas will probably kill him too, the Heeters wish to destroy Freeza and the Saiyans so his revenge will be fulfilled.

Monaito then comes to the scene, revealing all the Bardock stuff, making Granolah have a change of heart. He interferes against Gas, right as he is about to kill Vegeta, giving Monaito enough time to heal them.

The two get a second wind and team up against Gas, cornering him. Granolah recognizes this as the Saiyan pride Bardock also displayed when saving his life, making him not only giving up his revenge quest, but making him ready to die for Goku and Vegeta.

Gas, of course, unleashes more power and eventually overwhelms his enemies. Granolah realizes he can do the same and sacrifices life energy, in order to fight Gas one final time. For a short while Granolah’s wish to be the strongest comes true! At the cost of giving him only one more year to live. This shows, thematically, how seeking strength for revenge failed Granolah, while seeking strength for the sake of good actually fulfilled his wish.

Gas is overwhelmed. Everyone is happy. Elec prepares to leave in a haste. Everyone is down, exhausted from the fight. Gas comes back one final time, as basically a corpse.

Freeza arrives, kills Gas using his Black Freeza form. Spares Goku and Vegeta, since they are down and wants to defeat them at their best. He kills Elec and takes his siblings as his crew. Whis comes along to heal everybody. Wrap up.

A few notes:
- I didn’t mention Oatmeel, as he’s pretty inconsequential, but Granolah abandoning him when recruiting Elec and then taking him back after finding out the truth about Bardock would signify his change of heart.

- Goku would be there with Granolah when listening to Bardock’s recording, while Vegeta fights with Gas in Ultra Ego. It wouldn’t factor much in his second wind, but, continuing from Broly where he calls himself Kakarot, Goku would come to accept his dad as a pretty cool guy and, in the end, would take the Scouter from Monaito.

- Vegeta not only is not touched by this story, but scoffs at Bardock as a weakling, in pure Vegeta fashion. He doesn’t need anyone to teach him what Saiyan pride is.

- Bardock’s wish for his sons’ well being would be kept, but Toronbo would, of course, be unable to grant it, as it’s beyond his power. In turn, Toronbo restores Bardock’s health after being beaten, in order to protect his kids himself, giving him the Zenkai that puts Gas down.

- You can have the initial appearance of UI against Gas just be Goku using UI in his Blue form. This way, it makes sense to debut the Silver hair form this arc only during the team up with UE Vegeta at the end, in order to not cheapen the strongest transformation he has.

In my opinion, this fixes a couple of issues:
1. The wish, of course. It makes sense the Super Dragon Balls could grant such a wish, without much hassle, while a couple of Dragon Balls created by a nobody breaks suspension of disbelief.

2. Having Bardock so integral to Goku and Vegeta. They are grown ass men who went trough a lot more than Bardock. They have nothing to learn from Bardock. However, Granolah, who, in spite of his age, is basically a kid/punk, would. This way, Bardock is truly integral to the story and the main character.

3. Of course, you can keep the beat of Goku learning more about his father. He’s the main protagonist, so he needs some development in any arc, but keep it to a tolerable level. Having Bardock basically be a Saiyan Messiah for Goku and Vegeta is too much.

4. The length of the battle. While keeping the same structure and basically the same fights, having them be at different levels of power, under different circumstances and with the story beats around them told differently, even though you might end up with the same length, the pacing would be much better because you would have something new every time a character rejoins the fight.

5. Ultra Instinct getting its ass kicked by everyone. This way, Gas would defeat Goku’s UI, initially, just when using it in his other forms, a technique he only learns at the start of this arc. The second time, during the team-up with Vegeta, he uses the Silver hair form and loses just because of Gas’ hacks. Only once. Not three times, like the official version. And no True UI nonsense, which contradicts Merus’ training last arc.

Thoughts?

[EGonzo]

I like it, especially the changes to Bardock and his impact on Goku and Vegeta. He was treated like a huge deal in the manga which he really wasn't. Minus did him well as a typical Saiyan who saved his son on basically a whim

[Shorty GZ2]

I'm fine with the original arc enough, but I do think this rewrite is good & enjoyable
I do wonder where you'd put the opportunities for humour in (as I think that was a neglected element in the original), & Vegeta even here with UE feels a bit superfluous as he was in past arcs

[Draconic]

I'm fine with the original arc enough, but I do think this rewrite is good & enjoyable
I do wonder where you'd put the opportunities for humour in (as I think that was a neglected element in the original), & Vegeta even here with UE feels a bit superfluous as he was in past arcs

Good question. Didn't really think about it.

I guess one obvious choice is Oil and Maki's trip to Earth. Another obvious one to keep is the trip to Zuno's.

Gas himself can be written as a more humorous character, in line with the scene about him pissing his pants.

And one part that I would certainly infuse more humour in would be Goku's relationship to Bardock. Make Goku have a lot more funny, characteristic reactions, rather than the awe and sappines we're present with. Like have him be sad Bardock wasn't that strong, have him point out the absurdity of the situation in a tongue-in-cheek way, or contrast the fact Granolah starts looking up to his race's murderer, with a more lucid Goku. Something like: "Wow, Granolah, for the guy who killed this planet, my father was a pretty cool guy!".

There's lots of opportunities there and injecting humor into this "relationship" would also make the final moment of Goku recieving the scouter more touching and earned, because it's much more relatable and characteristic of how Dragon Ball was originally written, than the soap opera drama we got.

[Grimlock]

I think I'd go with "soap opera drama". It makes more sense than "being sad for Bardock's power"? There's nothing "sad" about that (especially when the "weaker one" managed to defeat someone you, the "stronger one", aren't being able to do it) and there's a context to consider too.