DragonBall GT Revised [fanfic]

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Mon Mar 14, 2011 4:41 pm

Curses, foiled again! I'll pick something, sketch it, and post it sometime this evening.
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Mon Mar 14, 2011 10:13 pm

Okay, so I had it narrowed down to three already-existing sketches (because I didn't feel like drawing anything new), and ultimately decided to post all three of them. Eat up!

Image Image Image


... And before you ask... the answer is "no."

EDIT: Whaddya know, Kino reports that Chapter 12 is done being proofed, so it should be back in my hands and subsequently posted sometime today!
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:32 pm

So... triple-post, eh? Well, I forgive myself. It's you guys' fault, not mine. So I really don't know why I'm going ahead and rewarding you for your bad behavior with this new chapter. :P
And, as usual, I spoil you guys rotten by also providing a PDF version to download for your on-the-go reading leisure.
You really don't deserve this.
(4/5 - Updated to V1.1; minor tweak in final scene)

And, as I'm sure you all think you're entitled to, there's artwork as well. First off, we've got a comic! Warning, it's a bit spoilerish if you haven't read the chapter yet.
Image
Next up, we've got your first good look at our main man from the Imegga arc, Redgic! There's two versions of this; one where I attempted to color in markers, and another one that's computer-colored like most of my stuff and is totally better! It's up to you to decide which you like best but it should obviously be the second one because I said so.
Image Image
I meant to do a a Character Bio for this chapter as well, featuring the spoiled entrepreneur that everyone loves to hate, Don Kia. But I totally forgot. So I'll get that slapped together sometime this week, while you all indulge yourselves in the goodness you already have here!
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Great Saiyaman I » Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:34 pm

It's not my fault! I just.... I'm reading it, ok? I think YOU should suspend yourself for a few days for triple-posting. That'll teach ya.

Great chapter! My favorite thing about this fic is how all of the plot points relate to other things in the franchise, like Redgic being part of Freeza's army. I guess we'll see how this Redgic measures up next time.
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Nex Carnifex wrote:Herms can you translate the whole thing
No.

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Maphisto86 » Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:03 pm

Ugh, any posts I make on this thread cannot do this fan fiction justice with a good review. Suffice to say, you are still going strong as always Kaboom. Better looking but not too different redesigns of GT characters like Redgic are welcome, not to mention the interweaving of previous Dragonball storylines with this one. Any props to the "Freeza force" is good in my book! Still surprising though how you made Redgic a Ginyu goon candidate. I mean it makes perfect sense but I did not forsee that while did wonder if he would have been a Freeza soldier in the past. As for our dynamic trio (well, foursome if you count their new robot friend), I love the depictions and interactions between all of them. The red button scene I could not repress a big grin at :D. Always a fun read when it comes to Goku in this reimagining. Sorry if this is not an in-depth review but I only read the chapter once before last night. Hopefully one of these days I will come up with one when my brain is not fried from classes :|.

P.S. I don't why this is noteworthy but I was wondering before this chapter if Pan's ubiquitous blue rucksack would make an appearance. Now it appears to be perfect for carrying confused, machine eating robots.
Last edited by Maphisto86 on Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:27 pm

Maphisto86 wrote:Better looking but not too different redesigns of GT characters like Redgic are welcome,
Yes, since day one I've thought it essential that the leotard not be a widespread fashion statement across the entire Dragon Ball universe.
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Maphisto86 » Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:40 pm

Kaboom wrote:
Maphisto86 wrote:Better looking but not too different redesigns of GT characters like Redgic are welcome,
Yes, since day one I've thought it essential that the leotard not be a widespread fashion statement across the entire Dragon Ball universe.
Well not to mention his cloak looked less like a champion fighter's robe and more like something that fell on him by accident. :roll:

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Fri Mar 18, 2011 3:42 pm

Well, as promised, here's that Character Bio for Don Kia!
Image
DON KIA

Alignment:
Lawful Evil
Age:
About 50 in Earth years.
Race:
Samoshian
Battle Power:
~30
Home:
Born and raised on Planet Tozak.
Occupation:
Entrepreneur
Goals:
Money, money, and more money!

Bio:
The illustrious Lord Don Kia's story is one of a rise from the doom and gloom of poverty to the high-class world of the rich and famous, through a combination of hard work, perseverance, and of course, a healthy dose of treachery and backstabbing. Don Kia's earliest memories are that of being a street urchin living in the lower-level neighborhoods of the multi-tiered commerce planet of Tozak. The lad had not only a longing for the wealth he didn't possess, but also a natural penchant for clever scheming. As he grew older, he eventually climbed his way through the ranks of Tozak's society; from a petty delinquent gang leader, to an underworld smuggler, to a mafia boss, and eventually holding the ultimate rank of greedy scumbaggery, a Tozakian Senator. The North Galaxy was his oyster.

Personality-wise, though, he was a bit of a weirdo. His dark, miserable, and wrought-with-abandonment childhood fostered within him the mentality of a paranoid scaredy-cat man-child. Those who both worked for or with him, not to mention those were used by him on his climb to the top, came to become sick of his baby-ish demands and ridiculous ordinances.

Then, with the downfall of Freeza, much changed across the mortal universe. While the years-long political upheaval on Planet Tozak ultimately changed very little aside from who was in charge, Don Kia found himself a victim of it, and was ousted by his peers and underlings. Though he'd lost his position, however, he certainly hadn't lost his ambitions. He set out to the stars, rebuilding himself a new fortune and garnering new "employees," as much by charisma as often by intimidation.

As his personal assets grew once again, his ego grew along with it and birthed itself a bouncing baby entitlement complex. What was his, was his. What was other people's was also his. The brutally despicable habits which had put him on top on Tozak benefited him in much the same way across the galaxies, as he took advantage of whomever and whatever he happened to come across in order to fill his wallet. Until one day, while exploring worlds which had been abandoned by Freeza's forces, his scouts stumbled across a certain "diamond in the rough" of a planet named Imegga, and the shiny little secret hiding within its crust...

_____
Wow, that was way more information than I'd anticipated. Can you believe I made most of it up now, on the spot? Weird.

So there you have it! As of last night, I've gotten cracking on Chapter 13, which will wrap up the Imegga arc. After that, we're going to have a fun little meanwhile-back-on-Earth "filler" story for Chapter 14, before hopping back out into space for another Dragon Ball-centric mini arc (my first original one, to boot!) starting with 15 and most likely ending with 18, taking 3 chapters much like with Imegga. That's the plan, anyway. Things are always subject to change.
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by kaialone » Fri Mar 18, 2011 4:34 pm

Kaboom wrote:
Wow, that was way more information than I'd anticipated. Can you believe I made most of it up now, on the spot? Weird.
The ultimate proof that youre channeling Toriyama !
-凯

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Sun May 01, 2011 12:45 pm

Time for a desperate thread-bump! You guys like concept sketches, right?

Image

Had to restart Chapter 13, since the opening scene I'd written was lame and boring and stupid. I've reworked it by starting with something else, and it's going strong now. I'd like to get it finished over this week and posted sometime NEXT week. I'll put up something else better to serve as a teaser if it'll evidently take any longer than that.
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by kaialone » Sun May 01, 2011 1:12 pm

Awesome :D! I love what you did with Redgic.I cant wait to see/read his battle with Goku
-凯

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Maphisto86 » Thu May 05, 2011 3:10 am

Dang you would think this thread would get more hits. Sure it's a rehash of GT and it's not a complete doujinshi but so far it's a great fan fiction story in it's own right. Plenty of surprises despite following a storyline we already know for the most part. Bugs me that more people don't comment. :(

Anywho, on to more positive, on topic commentary. Well this esteemed member of the peanut gallery actually didn't notice those chains on Ledgic's Freeza army uniform at first. I assumed it was the ceramic like circlets like Raditz, Nappa or Kuwi sport on their gauntlets/gloves & boots. Makes me wonder if those bladed weapons that Ledgic creates with his bling are items native to his species, something he came across in his travels along the way or something he invented himself?

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Fionordequester » Thu May 12, 2011 12:31 am

Hey, question? What order do you recommend reading the Lorg Slug chapters and the Main Story chapters? I mean like, should I read two Slug chapters, read a certain amount of Main Story chapters, then read some Slug chapters once they become relevant? Or should I just read all of the Slug chapters before reading Chapter 9 of the Main Story?
Kataphrut wrote:It's a bit of a Boy Who Cried Wolf situation to me...Basically, the boy shouldn't have cried wolf when the wolves just wanted to Go See Yamcha. If not, they might have gotten some help when the wolves came back to Make the Donuts.
Chuquita wrote:I liken Gokû Black to "guy can't stand his job, so instead of quitting and finding a job he likes, he instead sets fire not only to his workplace so he doesn't have to work there, but tries setting fire to every store in the franchise of that company".

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Thu May 12, 2011 12:58 am

Maphisto86 wrote:Anywho, on to more positive, on topic commentary. Well this esteemed member of the peanut gallery actually didn't notice those chains on Ledgic's Freeza army uniform at first. I assumed it was the ceramic like circlets like Raditz, Nappa or Kuwi sport on their gauntlets/gloves & boots.
Ah yes, those are supposed to be chains. And parts of his armor are meant to be colored red, as well, to make a connection of sorts with his eventual standard outfit as a mercenary. I've considered tossing together a colored version of that small sketch, if anyone's interested. Otherwise, use your imaginations...
Maphisto86 wrote:Makes me wonder if those bladed weapons that Ledgic creates with his bling are items native to his species, something he came across in his travels along the way or something he invented himself?
I, uh... Haven't decided yet.
Fionordequester wrote:Hey, question? What order do you recommend reading the Lorg Slug chapters and the Main Story chapters? I mean like, should I read two Slug chapters, read a certain amount of Main Story chapters, then read some Slug chapters once they become relevant? Or should I just read all of the Slug chapters before reading Chapter 9 of the Main Story?
Well... the Slug-centic side story is entirely self-contained; it doesn't require going back-and-forth with the main fanfic or anything like that. Heck, it doesn't really require reading the main story at all, honestly.

It originally started in the latter half of GTR Chapter 8, then went all the way up through Chapter 13 before I decided to split it off. When I did that, I rewrote Chapter 8 to include a rough summary of the new "spin-off" as well as move the main story along further.

Hence, reading all of GTR Chapter 8 will spoil the main plot of Cataclysm. So I'd recommend reading up through Chapter 7, then all of Cataclysm, then picking back up with Chapter 8 and beyond.



Now, since the thread has been bumped... Chapter 13 is coming along more smoothly than it was before. But since it's still going to be a while... any requests for small bonus material during the wait? Anything in particular from the story that someone would like to see a sketch of? Sky's the limit, so long as the request isn't too spoiler-ish.
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Fionordequester » Thu May 12, 2011 1:41 am

How about some concept art of Bebi gathering power for his eventual takeover of Earth? Or him looking over his people? Something interesting about him.
Kataphrut wrote:It's a bit of a Boy Who Cried Wolf situation to me...Basically, the boy shouldn't have cried wolf when the wolves just wanted to Go See Yamcha. If not, they might have gotten some help when the wolves came back to Make the Donuts.
Chuquita wrote:I liken Gokû Black to "guy can't stand his job, so instead of quitting and finding a job he likes, he instead sets fire not only to his workplace so he doesn't have to work there, but tries setting fire to every store in the franchise of that company".

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Thu May 12, 2011 9:57 am

"Something about Baby," eh? I'll see what I can come up with that isn't too spoiler-ific.
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Fionordequester » Thu May 12, 2011 11:43 am

Yeah, I figured "if we're getting concept art of something, why not have it be about the ultimate villain"? To get us EXCITED about what's in the future. Of course, it's also partially because the last time I watched GT, I just skipped past everything from the beginning to immediately get to Bebi, so I don't even remember most of the other villains before Bebi

Unless of course, you're planning to continue past the Bebi Saga. I'm not really sure, as I've heard that GT was originally supposed to end at Bebi, but then the makers were made to push Super 17 and the Shadow Dragon's out the door.
Kataphrut wrote:It's a bit of a Boy Who Cried Wolf situation to me...Basically, the boy shouldn't have cried wolf when the wolves just wanted to Go See Yamcha. If not, they might have gotten some help when the wolves came back to Make the Donuts.
Chuquita wrote:I liken Gokû Black to "guy can't stand his job, so instead of quitting and finding a job he likes, he instead sets fire not only to his workplace so he doesn't have to work there, but tries setting fire to every store in the franchise of that company".

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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Sun May 15, 2011 4:19 pm

Well, as promised, here's the teaser image. Rather than show anything from the more distant portions of the plot that might be too spoiler-ish, I decided to show what Baby is doing right here and now, during the present point in the story.

Image

Ta-da. Ominous, ain't it?
Fionordequester wrote:Unless of course, you're planning to continue past the Bebi Saga. I'm not really sure, as I've heard that GT was originally supposed to end at Bebi, but then the makers were made to push Super 17 and the Shadow Dragon's out the door.
I am indeed planning to continue the story after the final showdown with Baby, though I obviously won't go into details. I'm actually quite proud of my planned version of the Super 17 story... it's shaping up to be pretty fun and coherent, considering what I've got to work with...
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Xyex » Tue May 24, 2011 1:19 am

Kaboom wrote:I am indeed planning to continue the story after the final showdown with Baby, though I obviously won't go into details. I'm actually quite proud of my planned version of the Super 17 story... it's shaping up to be pretty fun and coherent, considering what I've got to work with...
Are you implying that the original GT version of the Super 17 saga isn't fun and coherent?

Really? I mean, what's more coherent than two dead robots building a 3rd robot, in hell, that looks exactly like a living cyborg, and can fuse with it thus making it like, 150-ish times stronger than it was, and far more powerful than a genetically engineered super warrior who had once also fused with said cyborg and his sister, but didn't get nearly that much more powerful?

....

Oh, right. Nevermind. :P
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Re: DragonBall GT: Revised

Post by Kaboom » Sat Jul 02, 2011 1:10 am

Okay, I'm not dragging along on purpose, I swear! Chapter 13 is proving to be a pain in the butt, despite it being almost all action which I'm supposed to be good at, damnit! Here, put away the torches and pitchforks and have another concept sketch thingamajig.

Image

This is a nice little scenery sketch of the lounge on the outpost on Planet Freeza No. 50, as seen during one of Redgic's flashbacks in Chapter 12. And here, as an added bonus, I'll toss in this old but no less voluptuous little closer-up sketch of Palice which was requested and posted in the chat room the other night.

Image


So again, I'm sorry that Chapter 13 is taking so long. There's been a lot of distractions at home and I'm having a hard time keeping my muse chained up in captive servitude. But it is coming along, ever so slowly. I'm right on the edge of having one of those great writing days where everything just explodes into existence and suddenly the chapter's done. That's how this usually works; it just has usually happened yet this time around.
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