How can i meet a woman who likes anime / cosplay / Dragon Ball?

[MasenkoHA]

Maybe I’m just an insensitive asshole (that’s what I’ve been called on this very forum not too long ago), but I don’t understand why anyone should care so much about finding a relationship anyway. Don’t most relationships end with breakups/divorce anyway?

I don’t know why do people do anything when failure is a likely option?

This level of pessimism being projected on others seem unnecessary.

[JulieYBM]

I’m not.

So, you're not aromantic but you don't understand why people want to be in romantic relationships? So then you experience romantic feelings but don't understand why? Well, hell, who cares about the why of how that works?

Life's simultaneously incredibly short and long. It's nice to have someone (whether that be one or more people) to share it with. Or maybe feel a selfishness and want to be that special person to someone.

I’m (as far as I can tell) a heterosexual cisgender male. I just don’t think people need to spend so much time dwelling over whether or not they’ll ever find “the one” or what have you. There’s a bunch of other crap people have to worry about it in life, like paying the bills or not getting COVID.

Always worth asking yourself if you're actually not cishet, no matter your age! Society doesn't teach us that it's okay to question that! That lack of 'permission' to question ruins lives!

Anyway, I'm looking for a partner because being lonely sucks. There's love in this heart and I need to spend it like a $100 bill burning a whole in my pocket.

I actually did find 'the one'. We're not together and probably never will be but he completely changed how I approached life and my feelings for him helped me be a better me and a better and under understanding person. I know exactly what kind of out-right pain and hurt comes from feeling like there's a piece of yourself you'll never get back or feel like there isn't something missing. I hate to see other people go through that. It sucks.

[omaro34]

Stay away from Tinder though, that app is mainly for hooking up and nothing substantial.

Good grief, am I ever learning that right now.

I wish you nothing but the absolute best, hope your experiences aren't too bad.

[JulieYBM]

Stay away from Tinder though, that app is mainly for hooking up and nothing substantial.

Good grief, am I ever learning that right now.

I wish you nothing but the absolute best, hope your experiences aren't too bad.

Looks like those wishes are working 'cause I've been talking to this girl for a few days now and it seems to be going good. O.o

[omaro34]

Good grief, am I ever learning that right now.

I wish you nothing but the absolute best, hope your experiences aren't too bad.

Looks like those wishes are working 'cause I've been talking to this girl for a few days now and it seems to be going good. O.o

Awesome, good to hear. I wish you continued success.

[MetaMoss]

Y'all are ragging on krump way too hard here. While going up to talk to a person out of the blue can be awkward or even terrifying for both parties, the number 1 rule on that is to respect the other person's boundaries, and I see nothing in what krump is saying that goes against that. Sure, there is the initial shock of an unexpected social interaction, and if right off the bat the other person seems uninterested or uncomfortable, you bid them farewell and move on.

[goku the krump dancer]

The topic's dead now at this point but I do appreciate you backing me up so they know I'm not just talking outta my ass here. Introducing yourself to someone you find attractive doesn't make you a slobbering horn dog, you're a normal person practicing basic human interaction.

Dating apps and socials are cool, I use them, but solely relying on them kills your people skills. Funny thing is, most women actually prefer a public cold approach because the energy is more organic and shows you have some balls especially since most guys go for the safe approach of sliding in a DM, which I understand, its way less embarrassing if she declines your conversation, the downside is though, is once you DM her you've officially added yourself to the overwhelming swath of " Hey Beautiful " messages that she has to rummage through to see if there's anyone in her inbox that doesn't look like a basement dwelling potential school shooter weed head bum. Also ladies love happy accidents.

Cold Approach is scary for men because you don't wanna say anything that makes you seem either too desperate, come off like a nervous dork or an over confident asshole and in the modern times being "Me Too'd" by some nut who spends too much time on twitter, there's a fine line that you have to walk that avoids all of them. On The Flipside its scary for ladies because the dude could be a weirdo stalker man that may follow them home or possibly get violent if she rejects him, but most people don't leave the house thinking that in there brains too much and regardless if they do its up to the guy to make them feel comfortable when he approaches.

Looking good, smelling good and smiling is the fastest and easiest way to break down any barriers.

[JulieYBM]

It's bad, actually. Don't ask strangers that outside of designated areas. That's extremely fucking easy advice to follow and from a woman who likes anime, no less!

[goku the krump dancer]

I mean, I don’t know who died and left you as spokesperson for everyone but okay, whatever makes your boat sail YBM.

[MetaMoss]

That's to say, Julie, that where your boundaries land on this sort of thing is a very personal matter. No one should fault you for the ones you have, but at the same time, it's pretty presumptuous to project your own onto others.

Now to throw in a bit of advice for Peach that speaks to my experience in finding love: unlike krump, I've never had the level of confidence required that would allow me to ask out a woman I just met, and as such, I've only ever asked out ladies that I've gotten to know at least on a decent level. Part of it is likely due to me being interested in nothing less than a committed, long-term relationship and feeling that I should get to know the person on more friendly terms first before pursuing anything further.

So, my advice to Peach (which, if you're still reading this thread, I sure hope you've found something helpful for you in it) is this: starting out, don't look for love, look for friends. My current (and only ever) girlfriend is someone that I had been friends with for something like four years before we started a romantic relationship. She had even shot me down when I had asked her out a few years prior, but as our friendship developed, we eventually realized we wanted more from each other.

Plus, having a solid group of friends just make life so much more enjoyable, and I can say from experience that building solid friendships can help partially fill the void you have when you're yearning for a romantic relationship.

[LoganForkHands73]

That's to say, Julie, that where your boundaries land on this sort of thing is a very personal matter. No one should fault you for the ones you have, but at the same time, it's pretty presumptuous to project your own onto others.

Now to throw in a bit of advice for Peach that speaks to my experience in finding love: unlike krump, I've never had the level of confidence required that would allow me to ask out a woman I just met, and as such, I've only ever asked out ladies that I've gotten to know at least on a decent level. Part of it is likely due to me being interested in nothing less than a committed, long-term relationship and feeling that I should get to know the person on more friendly terms first before pursuing anything further.

So, my advice to Peach (which, if you're still reading this thread, I sure hope you've found something helpful for you in it) is this: starting out, don't look for love, look for friends. My current (and only ever) girlfriend is someone that I had been friends with for something like four years before we started a romantic relationship. She had even shot me down when I had asked her out a few years prior, but as our friendship developed, we eventually realized we wanted more from each other.

Plus, having a solid group of friends just make life so much more enjoyable, and I can say from experience that building solid friendships can help partially fill the void you have when you're yearning for a romantic relationship.

I also wouldn't approach people in a grocery store or whatever, personally, because I can appreciate that most people there just want to get on with their day and I equally hate to be bothered by strangers in places like that, but I agree it definitely helps to go into situations with a genuine, earnest, friendly mentality without any kind of ulterior expectation of a relationship or a quick fuck. Lame as it sounds, think of how Goku just goes up to anyone and everyone and treats them all exactly the same, no matter their gender, appearance or status... don't pat anyone's crotch like him though But yeah, simple openness with a touch of not-giving-a-fuck really does work wonders in my experience, leading to many great platonic and romantic relationships (let's hope I haven't jinxed anything by saying all that). The few times when I've tried to be all pick-up-artist-y with 1000 IQ plays have fell utterly flat because that's not my personality and it's easy to tell.

[JulieYBM]

Projecting? You're the one assuming that it's okay to try to approach random strangers at the grocery store with little consideration that perhaps they might neither want to be approached nor consideration that you might make them uncomfortable because they have health issues and/or trauma. All when you can just...go to a designated space?

Putting aside my own experiences...you do realize I *do* have female friends, right? I don't just hang around a bunch of male nerds all day? I hear things? This isn't just me pulling shit out of my ass?

Anyway, yes, fill your life with friends and not just lovers. Can confirm, for sure. Went from wishing I were dead to quite happy last night, in fact.

[MetaMoss]

Projecting? You're the one assuming that it's okay to try to approach random strangers at the grocery store with little consideration that perhaps they might neither want to be approached nor consideration that you might make them uncomfortable because they have health issues and/or trauma. All when you can just...go to a designated space?

Putting aside my own experiences...you do realize I *do* have female friends, right? I don't just hang around a bunch of male nerds all day? I hear things? This isn't just me pulling shit out of my ass?

I'm not saying it's a good idea to come up to someone out of the blue at like a Target and say "ayo, may I have your digits", but that on the whole, from my experience, people are quite open to unexpected but respectful social interactions. Not literally everyone, for sure, but I'd rather not discourage someone coming from out of their shell because of the slight risk of stepping on a trauma land-mine (not that it should even be a complete stranger's responsibility to help you cope with your own trauma, but that is another conversation entirely).

Anyway, yes, fill your life with friends and not just lovers. Can confirm, for sure. Went from wishing I were dead to quite happy last night, in fact.

I'm genuinely glad to hear it. I hope this leads to great things for you.

Lame as it sounds, think of how Goku just goes up to anyone and everyone and treats them all exactly the same, no matter their gender, appearance or status...

You don't even realize how much this resonates with me. When I was younger, I absolutely used Goku as a role model on the attitude to have when interacting with people, and I think it was a great positive influence for me that still enriches my life to this day, including during my pursuits of friendship and romance.

So, can confirm: the Goku attitude, it works!

[JulieYBM]

Projecting? You're the one assuming that it's okay to try to approach random strangers at the grocery store with little consideration that perhaps they might neither want to be approached nor consideration that you might make them uncomfortable because they have health issues and/or trauma. All when you can just...go to a designated space?

Putting aside my own experiences...you do realize I *do* have female friends, right? I don't just hang around a bunch of male nerds all day? I hear things? This isn't just me pulling shit out of my ass?

I'm not saying it's a good idea to come up to someone out of the blue at like a Target and say "ayo, may I have your digits", but that on the whole, from my experience, people are quite open to unexpected but respectful social interactions. Not literally everyone, for sure, but I'd rather not discourage someone coming from out of their shell because of the slight risk of stepping on a trauma land-mine (not that it should even be a complete stranger's responsibility to help you cope with your own trauma, but that is another conversation entirely).

Anyway, yes, fill your life with friends and not just lovers. Can confirm, for sure. Went from wishing I were dead to quite happy last night, in fact.

I'm genuinely glad to hear it. I hope this leads to great things for you.

Lame as it sounds, think of how Goku just goes up to anyone and everyone and treats them all exactly the same, no matter their gender, appearance or status...

You don't even realize how much this resonates with me. When I was younger, I absolutely used Goku as a role model on the attitude to have when interacting with people, and I think it was a great positive influence for me that still enriches my life to this day, including during my pursuits of friendship and romance.

So, can confirm: the Goku attitude, it works!

That's no reason to potentially make someone feel uncomfortable when safer options exist.

[MasenkoHA]

So, can confirm: the Goku attitude, it works!

I can’t in good faith recommend anyone do a genital check pat on everyone they meet.

[PurestEvil]

So, can confirm: the Goku attitude, it works!

I can’t in good faith recommend anyone do a genital check pat on everyone they meet.

Lest they become as badly hurt as one would when pushed off a flying cloud...

[JulieYBM]

I mean, I don’t know who died and left you as spokesperson for everyone but okay, whatever makes your boat sail YBM.

We meet on Fridays. All seven billion of us. They said "Julie's the cutest, most awesome girl on the whole planet, she should be spokeswoman for us all!" Being the gracious, mild-mannered woman of pure elegance I am, I humbly accepted the offer and am now posting on a forum for a children's cartoon and comic franchise.

By the way, I can see how you've been calling me 'YBM' and never using pronouns for me to avoid gendering me correctly. Just thought I'd point that out for the rest of the forum.

So, can confirm: the Goku attitude, it works!

I can’t in good faith recommend anyone do a genital check pat on everyone they meet.

I feel so stupid for only just now realizing how transphobic that whole scene is. Goes to show how much slack I cut this series.

[mute_proxy]

I mean, I don’t know who died and left you as spokesperson for everyone but okay, whatever makes your boat sail YBM.

We meet on Fridays. All seven billion of us. They said "Julie's the cutest, most awesome girl on the whole planet, she should be spokeswoman for us all!" Being the gracious, mild-mannered woman of pure elegance I am, I humbly accepted the offer and am now posting on a forum for a children's cartoon and comic franchise.

By the way, I can see how you've been calling me 'YBM' and never using pronouns for me to avoid gendering me correctly. Just thought I'd point that out for the rest of the forum.

I think if you stopped pointing out your gender of choosing in almost every comment you post, be it related to the topic or not, he'd be more considerate.

[Cure Dragon 255]

What? That is the most asinine argument fucking ever. I wanted to call out krump too but didnt feel comfy doing it (Both accusing someone without proof and speaking over trans voices). I'm both glad it wasnt just me and sad for krump being like that.

[MetaMoss]

I can’t in good faith recommend anyone do a genital check pat on everyone they meet.

*takes a puff from a cigarette* My days of unsolicited crotch patting are long gone, kiddo. Now, I always get prior consent, and you should, too.

The More You Know

That's no reason to potentially make someone feel uncomfortable when safer options exist.

While I'll certainly agree that Peach will have a much better chance of finding what they're looking for in a social context where interacting with strangers is expected, I don't think it should be considered an issue if they choose to try using other avenues, as well.

All the things you and your friends must have gone through for you to have come to this conclusion is some shit that I doubt I could even begin to comprehend, and it is not my intention or desire to downplay that. I just want to convey that this world is full of people who are ready and willing to accept you for who you are and give you the respect you need and deserve, so don't let the shitheels get you down too much.

Case in point...

I think if you stopped pointing out your gender of choosing in almost every comment you post, be it related to the topic or not, he'd be more considerate.

That ain't it, chief. I'd like to see some more of that Goku attitude out of you.