A Super Serious Power Ranking for the Tournament of Power

[Tombstone1988]

Only the most serious of posters should read on. This is definitely not a joke. Here we go:

1.) Dr. Rota (Clearly the strongest, but he never got to unveil his ultimate technique)
2.) Goku (No idea who this is; I think he's from that game, "Enslaved: Odyssey to the West")
3.) Vegeta (A philosophical question: Can you be a prince of all Saiyans if there's less than a baker's dozen left? Also, if the lands you rule no longer exist, are you still a prince?)
4.) Toppo (If Captain Falcon and Bobby Fulbright had a son...)
5.) Hit (Universe 6's version of Agent 47)
6.) Freeza (Level 19 Lawful Evil Blackguard from Neverwinter)
7.) Android 17 (So awesome, he gained god-like powers from ranging the shit outta that park)
8.) Dyspo (Beerus's justice-seeking twin brother)
9.) Kale (Broly's biggest fangirl)
10.) Gohan (Saving the universe is hard when you've got a 9-to-5)
11.) Maji Kayo (It's like the T-X, but androgynous)
12.) Obuni (He was 2 days away from retirement)
13.) Saonel ("Alone time" is a lot more awkward nowadays for him...)
14.) Pirina (Do you hear the voices too?)
15.) Android 18 (Just gonna ignore the obvious "18+" jokes for this one)
16.) Caulifla (Bought multiple experience boosts using Dad's credit card for some quick power-ups)
17.) Ribrianne (Easily the most popular character in Super)
18.) Cabba (Please notice me, Vegeta-senpai!)
19.) Megetta (Dr. Wily's latest robot master; only weakness is the power-up from Verbal Abuse Man)
20.) Kunshi (Closet BDSM fanatic)
21.) Jimeze (Took a wrong turn at Albuquerque; ended up in Universe 2)
22.) Monna (Chouji's long-lost sister)
23.) Kahseral (He's actually Captain Ginyu, but don't tell Vegeta!)
24.) Frost (His new single, "Frost, Frost Baby," releases in 2019)
25.) Piccolo (Lost more limbs than the cast of Akame ga Kill)
26.) Kakunsa (Played by Halle Berry)
27.) Viara (Never deactivated sleep mode)
28.) Bergamo (Forgot to change his setting to Wumbo)
29.) Basil (You may not remember him, but you'll remember Shining Blaster!)
30.) Lavender (Brings a whole new meaning to the term "bad touch")
31.) Katospleta (Felt bad for Vegeta, so he threw the fight)
32.) Kettol (His real power is the ability to inflict stupidity on his opponents)
33.) Zoiray (Star of the movie "Twister")
34.) Tupper (Pui-Pui's personal trainer)
35.) Cocotte (This is why you don't give infinite potential to idiots)
36.) Rozie (Secretly has a crush on Piccolo; wants to be just like him)
37.) Bollarator (SYSTEM ERROR: Diagnosing...)
38.) Panchia (WARNING: Combat effectiveness not found!)
39.) Koitsukai (ALERT: Please restart and try again)
40.) Krillin (How many ticks on the "Krillin owned" counter does being the first Universe 7 member out get?)
41.) Majora (Protege of Sirhan Dogen)
42.) Napapa (Won his title match against Ed Sheeran)
43.) Tien (Drew the short straw this arc)
44.) Narirama (You spin me right round, baby, right round...)
45.) Murichim (Wanted for 12 counts of suplexing trains)
***At this point, I had to start looking up a lot of their names***
46.) Rubalt (Wait a minute! Hellzone Grenade actually did something!?) [The guy from Universe 10 Piccolo defeated in episode 103]
47.) Vuon (Pop quiz: Do you know who this is? It's the Pride Trooper with the Lasso of Truth from episode 100)
48.) Gamisaras (Little did he know, Universe 7 possessed the Devon Scope) [The invisible lizard guy from Universe 4]
49.) Damon (Sometimes foreshadowing fails. This was one of those times)
50.) Shosa (Proof that not all dogs go to heaven)
51.) Ganos (He's very proud of his Howard the Duck cosplay)
52.) Paparoni (Wasn't he a rapping dog? Oh wait, that's PaRappa. Sorry, just remembering more interesting characters)
53.) Botamo (Is the Winnie the Pooh comparison too obvious? Yes? Damn.)
54.) Hermila (Equivalent of that kid in Call of Duty that goes for the 360 no-scope) [The sniper from episode 106]
55.) Prum (Level 16; Weapon: None; Armor: Mirror Mail; Weakness: Physical attacks) [The reflective guy from episode 106]
56.) Zarbuto (According to the wiki, this guy's a Tuffle. What the fu-) [The old man from Universe 2]
57.) Zirloin (He may not be very strong, but he fills out that dress quite well...) [The big guy from Universe 2]
58.) Rabanra (The gem in his forehead reminds me of something... something... GT-ish...) [The red guy from Universe 2]
59.) Nigrisshi (He didn't live up to the hype. Or live, for that matter)
60.) Hyssop (Reject from Game Freak) [The ice-spewing guy from Universe 9]
61.) Hop (Also played by Halle Berry) [The cat girl from Universe 9]
62.) Chappil (Should've gone with Adamantium) [The metal dragon guy from Universe 9]
63.) Oregano (Anyone else in the mood for pasta?) [The guy with Spiderman-like abilities from Universe 9]
64.) Comfrey (I legit did not even remember that this guy existed) [The guy that looks like a Gill Man from Terror from the Deep, also from Universe 9]
65.) Roselle (Let's be real: this guy sucked, but at least he made Freeza look badass) [The bat guy from Universe 9]
66.) Jirasen (Voted the Multiverse's sexiest man) [The pretty boy Ribrianne knocked out; from Universe 10]
67.) Methiop (One look at his eyes and yeah, he definitely looks like a meth user) [The red lizard guy that helped beat up Kale from Universe 10]
68.) Murisam (Oh hey, that guy looks promisin- and he's gone) [That random guy that Cabba knocked out in about two seconds; from Universe 10]
69.) The Preecho (Preach, brother!) [The guy that Tien and Roshi tag-teamed; from Universe 3]
70.) Jium (I liked him better when he was a companion for Donkey Kong) [The parrot from Universe 10]
71.) Jilcol (All that yoga didn't amount to much, did it buddy?) [That random guy that Jimeze knocked out; from Universe 10]
72.) Nink (Seemed like a good idea at the time) [The guy that tried to drag Goku off the stage; from Universe 4]
73.) Darkori (The Darkrai joke seems too obvious here) [The girl with the crazy but cool powers that got Mafuba'd; from Universe 4]
74.) Roshi (All those workout videos finally paid off!) [An ancient fossil that Toriyama brought to Cinnabar Island to be revived; from Universe 7]
75.) Shantza (He lasted that long and lost to that puny attack; what a fighter!) [The weird spike-headed guy who made illusions from Universe 4]
76.) Vikal (Forgot to use Elegant Egotist to summon her Harpy Lady sisters) [The harpy-like girl that saved Kakunsa before being promptly KO'ed; from Universe 2]
77.) Caway (Bad at fighting and bad in bed) [The girl with energy weapons and "seduction" as her tools of the trade; from Universe 4]
78.) Lilibeau (Someone clearly skipped her biology lessons in school...) [The butterfly-like girl who forgot she could fly and was the first elimination; from Universe 10]
79.) Sorrel (She has a name!?) [The bunny girl that was off-screen'ed by 18; from Universe 9]
80.) Jiren (Meh. It's all hype, I tell ya) [An inflatable doll that Belmod brought to the tournament; from Universe 11]

[sintzu]

I don't what's more impressive, you remembering all these names or putting them in an order and giving each one a description. Either way good job.

[Kataphrut]

All other power scalers can stop now, we have the Objectively Correct list. Nice job

[Polyphase Avatron]

Pretty good, but you forgot to mention that Monaka would be the undisputed #1 if he had participated.

[MajinVegetaPD]

Pretty good, but you forgot to mention that Monaka would be the undisputed #1 if he had participated.

Monaka is the evil doer that Jiren is trying to beat.

[Polyphase Avatron]

Pretty good, but you forgot to mention that Monaka would be the undisputed #1 if he had participated.

Monaka is the evil doer that Jiren is trying to beat.

No way dude. Monaka doesn't have an evil bone in his body.

Unless he used to be evil once and then reformed...

[Jackalope89]

Pretty good, but you forgot to mention that Monaka would be the undisputed #1 if he had participated.

Monaka is the evil doer that Jiren is trying to beat.

Nay! 'Tis the foul fiend, the Farmer with Shotgun!



So evil!

[Tombstone1988]

I don't what's more impressive, you remembering all these names or putting them in an order and giving each one a description. Either way good job.

I didn't remember all these names; I listed in asterisks the point where I had to start using the wiki. Uh, I mean, yeah! I've just got an amazing memory!

Pretty good, but you forgot to mention that Monaka would be the undisputed #1 if he had participated.

You are objectively correct, but he did not participate and this list only includes the 80 participating fighters.

Nay! 'Tis the foul fiend, the Farmer with Shotgun!



So evil!

As with Monaka, Farmer with Shotgun did not participate in the torunament (or at least, he has not been unveiled yet...). Thus, he was not included. However, whether he or Monaka would be #1 in such a hypothetical scenario does seem to merit more research...

[Torturephile]

Where's Shaggy, El Hermano, Gohan Blanco, Goten Negro, Rolf, etc.?