Worst DB/Z/GT intros

[MajinVejitaXV]

Fuck that shit I liked it better when Toriyama didn't even think of it yet, when he finally conjured the idea up in his mind it just sucked hard!

Damn, you had to quote me before I fixed my screw up ;p

-Corey

[SSJ2bardock]

I think it's because I never got into the anime, which was in turn because the anime sucked. Not the music, not the voices, but the anime itself. Screw 'magic', Toei shat all over Dragonball far worse than FUNi did.

Fuck yes. And fuck the anime too for that matter, the series was 100,000x better when I read Toriyama's mind. Putting it on paper just shat all over it.

-Corey

Fuck that shit I liked it better when Toriyama didn't even think of it yet, when he finally conjured the idea up in his mind it just shat all over it.

Fuck that, when Wu Cheng'en scribed the story "Journey to the West" knowing that it would be the base of a multi-million dollar franchise centuries later that shat all over it.

[Rocketman]

Fuck yes. And fuck the manga too for that matter, the series was 100,000x better when I read Toriyama's mind before he wrote it. Putting it on paper just shat all over it.

-Corey

*stares*

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*wind blows*
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SSJ2bardock:
NeptuneKai:
Kunzait_83:

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On the next post of ROCKETMAN, Rocketman responds to MajinVejitaXV's mockery in the last minute or so, since we're gonna cut away to woodland animals and SSJ Kaboom macking on Velasa.

[SSJ2bardock]

Bravo! That was truly hilarious!

Plus, I got mentioned in it so it sort of makes me feel like one of the forum "celebrities" I've finally made it to the big time!!! ( begins to hit on all the ladies, dubyamcha-style )

[Super Ghost Kamikaze]

That “intrinsic” quality you mentioned is something I’ve argued in favor for constantly against people who claim that the edits/script rewrites/bad acting/bad replacement music were all completely 100% necessary for DBZ to have been a success in the U.S. when all they prove is that it really DOESN’T matter what you do with it. Give it sub-porn quality acting, dialogue, and music (which FUNimation did), and people will still love it unconditionally in spite of it because the show itself is just THAT damn magnetic.

So...exactly what I said?

Ahem. My VHS subtitles were many things, but “swear-filled” certainly wasn’t one of them. Anime labs weren’t the ONLY guys subtitling this series back in the old days you know.

And so, good for you. You were lucky. Bootleg VHS tapes weren't exactly universally distributed, some people didn't have the same choices. And you know, you probably didn't know what you were going to get in those tapes when you bought them. You just knew, hell, they'd have Dragonball footage and it'd be in Japanese with the original music and everything.

Yeah there’s nostalgia… but even STILL…

I loved Masters of the Universe, the OLD Masters of the Universe cartoon, unconditionally as a 4 year old. Flash forward to now, and yeah, there’s still a great deal of nostalgia attached to it for me, but in spite of that cartoon meaning the world to my inner 4 year old, my adult mind is still NOT gonna argue with anyone that it’s in any way a “good” cartoon, cause it’s simply not. Its complete dogshit to my or anybodies present day sensibilities.

Yeah I (along with many others in my age range who remember it fondly) plan on buying the DVD boxsets for it at some point down the road cause the nostalgia’s still there and my inner 4 year old hasn’t died… but do I even remember things like the BGM (not the theme song; the BGM)? Do I still “rock out” to it today? Does anybody? Hell no. The style in which typical U.S. cartoons were created usually entailed cheaply produced, mind numbing, generic “action” music blathering on endlessly in the background. And the Faulconer music for DBZ comes from this very same school of music.

Exactly. You're going to buy it, you're going to watch it. Even if your current mindset would certainly call it sub-par at the very best, you are willing to purchase the DVD box set of this apparently bad cartoon. Look at adults who got up in arms upon hearing that Cookie Monster had taken up eating vegetables, even though they hadn't actually WATCHED the series in up to 20-40 years for somewhat obvious reasons.

And I’m certainly not alone on this; why do you think it is that so many of the younger anime fans that the DBZ dub helped to create often “leave DBZ behind” when they see other (better dubbed) anime and “realize” what a piece of shit it supposedly is?

I offer a different potential reason. Anime fans seem to get swept up into fads fairly easily. Why are there fans of Naruto? One Piece? Their dubs aren't exactly perfect. But as mainstream interest fades in shonen properties, the anime "snobs", those that hate anything "mainstream", are all that left. You know, the ones who call the current giant fanbase "Narutards". The "it sucks if it becomes popular" voice is strong in the anime community, and they hold that grudge long after the wave has receded.

Also, I find it very "logically convenient" that these viewers you talk about can see the intrinsic quality long enough to ride the wave of popularity, but DON'T see it at any point after this.

That the show is still around and still relatively in the mainstream consciousness and still selling DVDs is a testament to the “intrinsic” quality of the show itself, not the lameass U.S. production quality weighing it down from achieving possibly even MORE widespread appeal than it already has.

So again, what I just said. With more words, and from the point of view of someone who NEVER liked the dub.

So let me submit this query; let’s say the tables were reversed and say it wasn’t Faulconer who scored the Z dub; let’s say it was Menza who scored the Z dub from the getgo. By your rationale, because it would therefore now be the music to the series as tons of kids were first exposed to it instead, people would thus be hailing THAT score as bitchin’ tunes, and the rap intro would be the one getting defended from the purists by the nostalgia crowd.

It's impossible to evaluate this with any form of logic, because it's an emotion-based reaction that happens to surface after many years of enjoying the property. But I do have this to offer, the second Funi intro at least doesn't offer horrible lyrics. It is a cheap action tune made to "pump up" the audience for the action in the series. This was Funimation's goal, and as far as this is concerned, I don't think they did too badly. Rock the Dragon, even, is catchy to a 10 year-old in the "repetitive nonsense with a rock beat" action cartoon way. While, yes, the Japanese openings are FAR superior, the Funimation openings aren't considered by most to be bad for what they are trying to be. Yes, they shouldn't be trying to be that. This is true. But that is irrelevant to the younger set who haven't seen the series yet, and it's loud and captures attention.

But if those were the intros that FUNi used for the North American markets, and those were what you first saw and heard as your first exposure to Dragon Ball… would you still be so willing to make fun of them and call them for what they are, which is rubbish, just as you do now? Really, anyone who may be reading this and who will be quick to mock another country’s shitty dub of the series but will jump to FUNi and Faulconer’s defense at a moment’s notice; dig deep and ask yourself that question.

Possibly not.

Put it this way; let’s say Faulconer’s score were the score to some regular generic U.S. made action cartoon from the 80’s (which it EASILY could’ve been). Would it still have the same sized fanbase it has today without Dragon Ball there to prop it up? Honestly?

Put it this way; when have you ever found yourself hailing the amazing score of a horrible series or film? Further, when do you go out and buy the soundtrack to a film you hated? You wouldn't really be a FAN of the soundtrack so much as you would feel the soundtrack was the only redeeming quality anyway. In this regard, I feel your logic is faulty.

[Daburcor]

The "singing" totally ruins this in places http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qk4dDFz ... re=related

Ha ha ha ha haaaa!!!

That one was AWESOME! Ha!

[Herms]

I offer a different potential reason. Anime fans seem to get swept up into fads fairly easily. Why are there fans of Naruto? One Piece? Their dubs aren't exactly perfect.

With One Piece at least, pretty much all its popularity in America stems from people downloading fansubbed Japanese anime episodes and scanslations of the manga. The soul-rendingly awful 4Kids dub probably did more to hurt its popularity here than anything else, and the Funi dub hasn't been around enough to change much, and is probably too little too late. Not to mention that both English dubs and Viz's release of the manga are comically far behind their Japanese counterparts. So anyone wanting to get into One Piece has to rely on things besides the dub(s).

[SSJ2bardock]

The "singing" totally ruins this in places http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qk4dDFz ... re=related

Ha ha ha ha haaaa!!!

That one was AWESOME! Ha!

That sounded like a terribly bad karaoke version.

"After a long day ar work the Japanese business men are out for a drink after the meeting and decide to hit the karaokem stage!"

-edit- apparently they recorded a karaoke session for the Z opening too

Where the hell did half of those scenes even come from?

[omegacwa]

Kunzait_83 Said: Again this isn’t the thread for this, but I will say that I have recently heard more of Sabat’s Jigen on Lupin and… it’s good. Very good. Mainly because he’s actually talking like a normal human being in that dub. Radical concept huh?

The man may in fact have some acting talent in him after all. But if he does, it certainly doesn’t show anywhere in DBZ. And I disagree; ALL of his DBZ characters sound exactly the fucking same (grunting moron), and if he has vocal range, it sure as shit isn’t coming through with any Dragon Ball projects.

I’m not asking for great, academy award worthy dramatic performances that light up the screen or anything… all I really demand from most anime dubs like DBZ is that the characters simply talk like regular people and just allow their personalities to come across organically without forcing it through so much. It sounds so fucking ridiculous and stupid otherwise.

Ok, dude, Yamcha, Zarbon, Jheese, Grandpa Gohan, Burter, Korin, Mr. Popo, Guru, Kami and numerous others do not sound like "Grunting Moron". And I personally don't think his later Piccolo or Vegeta do either. The only voice I have heard of his that could be qualified as grunting moron is Kuwabara from Yu Yu Hakusho, which isn't even Dragon Ball.

I understand you don't like the English dub, but you are flat out nuts apparently and blinded by your love for the Japanese version. I am not saying that I like the dub better, that's actually not true at all, I only prefer the dub for a few scenes, but to say someone isn't talented with the range he has is idiocy. From someone who has dabbled a bit in voice acting (myself) I can tell you his range of voices is very good.

[SSJ2bardock]

Uh-oh, brace yourselves for a Kunzait essay explosion everyone!

( ducks under the table )

[Super Ghost Kamikaze]

Uh-oh, brace yourselves for a Kunzait essay explosion everyone!

( ducks under the table )

I, personally, look forward to it.

[Chrono Trigger]

It would be hilarious if all he says is "oh ok" and that's it.

[Kunzait_83]

b

[SSJ2bardock]

Uh-oh, brace yourselves for a Kunzait essay explosion everyone!

( ducks under the table )

Easy there Tonto. I’m keeping this next bit short, sweet, and to the point.

I understand you don't like the English dub, but you are flat out nuts apparently and blinded by your love for the Japanese version.

[Sabat pwnage]

Well, was I wrong

Honestly though I do enjoy reading your rants because they're insightful and I can tell you put a lot of thought into them.

And when it comes to fight scenes, you can also add flamingly homoerotic to that list.

I almost forgot to quote that zinger right there.

[Super Sonic]

Didn't look at the other posts so will just say the Faulconer opening. Liked the other music, but didn't like the opening. Kinda like how I liked Magical Doremi's theme song, but thought the show was a little girls' cartoon that didn't hold my interest.

[Super Ghost Kamikaze]

Yes I am willing to buy it and watch it out of nostalgia, but your missing my point; my point wasn’t that I particularly give a shit whether or not people pop in the DBZ dub and give it a watch cause they have fuzzy childhood memories of it (I don’t of course). What DOES baffle me is when a lot of those people will go to great lengths to defend stuff like the Faulconer score as some sort of unappreciated masterpiece of artistry.

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Again, I’m all for nostalgia for bad shit people liked as kids; I’m as guilty as the next guy. I draw the line however at building them up to unrealistic and just plain dishonest standards of quality. There’s NOTHING wrong in the least with still liking crappy cartoons or crappy music from your childhood, so long as one isn’t divorced enough from reality that they don’t recognize them as… crappy cartoons and crappy music.

I think we're talking about a different set of people, then. I am talking about people who may say "You know, this theme really isn't as bad as, say, the Portrugese one. It has a catchy tune, in the stupid cartoon way" sort of person. I think that mentioning this kind of person was within the realm of reason, because I am fairly sure you said you didn't know how ANYONE could consider it to be anything but the same as the GT rap. I don't MIND the theme song. I kinda enjoy it on a very base level. Sure, the originals outweigh it and I can't stand changing the actual BGM, but the title song doesn't grate on me.

I think there’s a miscommunication at work here.

This is quite possible. I could simply be out of touch. I'm honestly not "in" the anime fan community anymore. It has definitely driven me out. In any case, I doubt any further arguments would really do either of us much good(and I use the word "arguments" in the most civil way possible), because we simply can't poll the minds of the general fan community. Whatever the case, I do find it to be interesting that there is a trend towards bashing popular Shonen series, and I just can't be sure that it is confined completely to the Dragonball franchise. Perhaps this is just within the circles that I could no longer stand.

The overarching point of most of my above post(s) on this matter and how they pertain to the thread topic at hand (making fun of bad intros for bad foreign dubs of the show) can be best summed up with this excerpt;

I’m just trying to make people who are quick to mock other terribly produced dubs, but not their own pet terribly produced dub just because one’s from another country and the other is the one they grew up on, think twice before committing to something of an unfair double standard.

If the French dub or the Portugese dub can be considered fair game for ripping on, then the FUNi dub by all rights belongs in their company just as much, because basically it’s just another in a long, long line of cheaply made foreign dubs for this show, one that’s no more innocent of reducing it to utter laughable cheesiness than the others are.

Your point was that the music would have no merit without Dragonball to back it up, yes? My counterpoint would be that no soundtrack really is considered great without relation to its related source material. Also, again, we seem to be talking about different sets of people. The set you are talking about seem to be rabid Faulcner fans. I am merely referring to those who may, for one reason or another, not MIND the Faulcner track.

And I think it's at least feasible that a person who is introduced to this first, who enjoys Dragonball with this in the background first, may end up liking it due to the fact that it WAS composed to be catchy on a very base, inartistic level. Obviously, this works for a lot of people who are not exposed to the Japanese track first.

Yes, it may be ridiculous and stupid. But there are two logical reasons why it would be less loathed by a mostly-US Dragonball forum. It's made to appeal on that level, and we grew up with it. And because it's not screwing with the original EPISODE CONTENT, it can get a break. I mean, it's a US theme song in the 90s, you couldn't expect anything CLOSE to approximating the original Japanese theme on US TV until about five years later((COMPLETELY BASELESS GUESSTIMATE AND FOR ALL I KNOW SPEED RACER DID IT RIGHT)).

And frankly? Yeah, I think it's catchier and better than a lot of those other songs that came out of the Polish and Arabic dubs.

P.S. The nicknames were a cute touch.

Thank you. =)

But yeah, I mean...if I'm going to be cutting up your rants and condensing them for quotation purposes, putting in the BBCode in manually, I'm gonna have a little fun with it to stave off the insanity form typing [/quote] and

50 times. You type a lot. I respect this, but it gets annoying to quote.

[Jerseymilk]

Ok, dude, Yamcha, Zarbon, Jheese, Grandpa Gohan, Burter, Korin, Mr. Popo, Guru, Kami and numerous others do not sound like "Grunting Moron". And I personally don't think his later Piccolo or Vegeta do either.

Uh, yes they do. All he did was slap on various bad accents/caricature voices. :/

[SSJ2bardock]

Ok, dude, Yamcha, Zarbon, Jheese, Grandpa Gohan, Burter, Korin, Mr. Popo, Guru, Kami and numerous others do not sound like "Grunting Moron". And I personally don't think his later Piccolo or Vegeta do either.

Uh, yes they do. All he did was slap on various bad accents/caricature voices. :/

Joice!! Not sure why Jheese had an Australian accent.

[Jerseymilk]

Ok, dude, Yamcha, Zarbon, Jheese, Grandpa Gohan, Burter, Korin, Mr. Popo, Guru, Kami and numerous others do not sound like "Grunting Moron". And I personally don't think his later Piccolo or Vegeta do either.

Uh, yes they do. All he did was slap on various bad accents/caricature voices. :/

Joice!! Not sure why Jheese had an Australian accent.

Because Sabat was trying to imitate Scott McNeil who for some odd reason, originally gave Jheese a Liverpool accent(I swear that man's on drugs >>). Sabat obviously was incapable of getting it right and ended up sounding like he was Australian. Just goes to show sometimes, it's best not to try and be a carbon copy.

[NeptuneKai]

Uh, yes they do. All he did was slap on various bad accents/caricature voices. :/

Joice!! Not sure why Jheese had an Australian accent.

Because Sabat was trying to imitate Scott McNeil who for some odd reason, originally gave Jheese a Liverpool accent(I swear that man's on drugs >>). Sabat obviously was incapable of getting it right and ended up sounding like he was Australian. Just goes to show sometimes, it's best not to try and be a carbon copy.

Especially when you don't have the vocal skill to copy the person before you. Even worse then his Jheese voice was his Racoome.