DragonBall GT Revised [fanfic]

[Kaboom]

Is this fan fic dead?

Over my dead body! Updates can take a while because life likes to get in the way whenever I try to work on something like this, but rest assured that I'm not giving this project up anytime soon. I've put way too much effort and planning into it at this point to even consider that. Anyone in this thread can tell you that I try my best to make the updates worth the wait when they happen, too.

[Kuhan]

So... um... this is a thing that I did:

http://archive.org/details/DragonballGt ... ChapterOne

So, you know, if you don't enjoy reading, it's the (as of now) Unofficial Audiobook version of DBGTR. Is there a Fan-Created Works of Fan-Created Works forum?

Maybe I'll make it a podcast.

[Insertclevername]

Your reading voice is really clear and I liked your expressions! also your Gosan voice was pretty funny I must admit.

[Kaboom]

//Trumpet Fanfare//

Ladies and gentlemen and smizmars, the long-awaited day is finally upon us all!

GT Revised Chapter 15 - "Love At First Fight"
[ Read Online | Download PDF ]

At long last, we're kicking things into high gear back out in space with our intrepid quartet of heroes once again! The crew comes across another Dragon Ball on the paradise-like Planet Koum, and once again, they're going to need to jump through hoops to get it. However, the nature of those hoops will be something entirely different from what occurred last time on Planet Imegga!

The Planet Imegga arc was similar in most core ways to its counterpart from the original GT. But Chapter 15 here marks the start of what is the first "GTR original" sub-arc centered around a Black Star Dragon Ball. It's one of the very first potential stories I envisioned for GTR, literally years ago before I even gathered all my ideas into what would become GTR in the first place. I've been very excited to premiere this part of the story. Which means the 5-month wait was every bit as much if not more exruciating for me as it was for you guys.

So, uh... you know how I normally post something else substantial, namely a character bio, with a new chapter? Yeah, no character bio for this one. At this point in the story, I could either include all of any of the newly-introduced characters' important info, which would make it very spoilery, or not include anything important, which would make it bland. Same with the Planet Profile for Koum itself, though I don't post those until the end of their respective arcs anyway. To make up for it, I'm planning to post TWO character bios next time along with Chapter 16.

But for now, we've got some artwork! Most of it is simple illustrations of the new characters and places from the chapter. Some of this may be a li'l spoilery, so I'd suggest not checking them out until you've read the chapter first. Or don't. It's not like I can control your actions with a voodoo doll or anything like that. Not at all.

(THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK)

Let's start off with the landscapes and locales of Planet Koum itself. Some concept sketches for your brains.

Next up, we've got the charming new primary character from among this arc's new characters! The first one is his final design, although the colors may not quite match how I described them in the chapter. I'll have that finalized by the time I do his character bio. The second two are older concept sketches of him. These are the semi-spoilery ones. CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK OR NOT IT'S UP TO YOU.

Alright, that should just about do it, I think! I do have an idea or two for a bigger piece of artwork for this chapter, and I may be able to churn it out in the coming weeks, knock wood. For the meantime, enjoy yourselves reading, and do me a favor and at least pretend you didn't see the plot twists coming a mile away!

Oh, and by the way...

[Rocketman]

And behold, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became like blood. And the stars of heaven fell to the earth, as a fig tree drops its late figs when it is shaken by a mighty wind. Then the sky receded as a scroll when it is rolled up, and every mountain and island was moved out of its place.

[Insertclevername]

I like the humorous, lighthearted moments in this chapter, like when Gokuu taught the villagers the conga dancing and the waffle breakfast. Also, the scene where you narrated about Pan's cooking, I couldn't help but notice how similar it was to the scene where Lunch prepares poisonous puffer fish by accident and the cast gets sick. Both have the characters eat a fish meal and get sick, all while having the narrator tell us about it out of context. Intentional? or am I just spouting nonsense? lol Then again, it is 2am right now...

[Saiga]

I figured you were saving your 10,000th post for this.

I liked Goku's comment about not being surprised by the Prince, and I'm looking forward to where this arc is going to go.

[CaBrPi]

I really love your writing style. Very comical, and fitting.

Also, what is the etymology of "Xuelong"? I know "long" comes from dragon, but Google Translate turns up nothing for "Xue".

[Kaboom]

Also, the scene where you narrated about Pan's cooking, I couldn't help but notice how similar it was to the scene where Lunch prepares poisonous puffer fish by accident and the cast gets sick. Both have the characters eat a fish meal and get sick, all while having the narrator tell us about it out of context. Intentional? or am I just spouting nonsense?

Uh.... hey! Good catch! I, uh... yeah, I totally did that on purpose! Definitely!

I did not. At all.

Also, what is the etymology of "Xuelong"? I know "long" comes from dragon, but Google Translate turns up nothing for "Xue".

'Xue' is a Chinese word for BLOOD. I hope I'm using it properly because it sure looks cool and would be a major pain in the ass to change at this point.

Anyhoo, thanks for the feedback so far, guys. I stumbled upon a few more little bits of artwork that I meant to post along with the chapter, and hopefully I can get them scanned and posted tomorrow.

Chapter 16's off to a good start, and as I mentioned on Twitter a little while ago, thanks to some prompt epiphanies regarding its flow and structure, it hopefully shouldn't take too long to write. *knocks wood*

[TheDevilsCorpse]

Speaking of Xuelong. There is a reason I hate Chinese...because I never pronounce things like I'm supposed to. lol According to the pronunciation guide, his name should be said like Shi-eh-long, or something along those lines, but I've been reading it as Zoo-long. -_-

[Saiga]

Speaking of Xuelong. There is a reason I hate Chinese...because I never pronounce things like I'm supposed to. lol According to the pronunciation guide, his name should be said like Shi-eh-long, or something along those lines, but I've been reading it as Zoo-long. -_-

I've been doing the same, and will continue to do so. I'm almost never capable of correcting my pronunciation from things I read incorrectly.

[Kaboom]

Yeah, the proper pronunciation is something like 'kszway.' Or maybe a slight 'H' sound in there too, like 'kzhway.' Something like that. I don't have it quite right myself.

Anyway, here's those couple more little bits of artwork I promised. These weren't delayed because they were spoilery, or anything. I just forgot about them. :X

We've got a rough blueprint of sorts for the internals of the Koumian royal palace (that we've seen so far, at least), we've got a sketch of Zatar, we've got a sketch of Orris, and then we've got some more somewhat older concept sketches of Orris too. Aside from colors, the designs for these two guyses are pretty much finalized. Only thing that might change is Orris' uniform (that weird-looking breastplate in particular), but I'll make sure to have that ironed out by the time I do his character bio. If I do one for him, anyway. Whatever. You'll get a "final" of him and Zatar eventually, one way or another.


Now let's end this post on something silly (and spoilery).

[Kaboom]

Alrighty, feedback on this newest chapter has been a little underwhelming, so to hike up activity I'm opening up the floor for bonus content suggestions again. Want to see some sketches of something? Some sort of preview art for future parts of the story? Something we've already seen or heard about in more detail? Force me to finalize a character design? The sky's the limit.

Chapter 16 is coming along nicely in the meanwhile. Here's a small excerpt.

“Hi there, prince… uh, your majesty. Sir?” Goku stumbled over how to address the young monarch, more out of indifference than actual confusion.

“Oh please, just call me Regano,” he replied. “I’m the prince, but I’m not comfortable with things being too formal. I’d much rather us be friends above all else.” He smiled again, and extended a hand. “Especially if we’re to be family eventually.”

“Fine with me! I don’t like fussin’ too much about that either,” Goku agreed, turning around in his seat to take and shake Regano’s hand. He seemed to pause in thought for a moment before smiling and speaking up again. “I sure wouldn’t mind havin’ more grandkids, too.”

“Excuse me!” Pan protested. “Aren’t you two getting a little ahead of yourselves?!”

“Ah, I’m so sorry,” Regano quickly abandoned his prospective grandfather-in-law and swooped around to the front side of the bench to face Pan. He knelt down slightly and gently took her hand before she could do anything about it, and instantly turned on the charm again. “Pan, you look even more lovely out in the sunlight.”

“S-shut up!”

Thaaaat should do it for now! Still plugging away at this bad boy.

[Saiga]

So... Pan agreed?

[Kaboom]

So... Pan agreed?

No. Goku and Regano are both just having fun by acting like she will, is all.

I guess it could look like that out of context, though.

[Maphisto86]

AH sorry I am late!

Been meaning to comment on the last chapter for a while now but frankly I was really busy these past couple of months. That and I always think I bring little new to the conversation aside from "ohh nice words and purdy pictures" .

I wanted to note how I love the way you write everyone's dialogue. Especially Goku and Pan's dialogue with the contrast between young, teen girl and country bumpkin grandfather . . .who is now a kid again but was there really any significant difference? Something little I have noticed since the beginning but that really shines at the beginning of the chapter.

The planet Koum and the Koumians pleasant nature was obvious based on how you described the planet and it's people. It gives a good opportunity to explore the characters. Yet even while I thought the romantic undercurrent between Pan and the new character, Prince Regano was touching it quickly became kind of creepy (or maybe just insidious) by the end when Regano uses their need of the Dragonball as an in to ensnare Pan in a relationship. Made him go from charming to slimy pretty fast even though he probably is not villain material. Looking forward to how it works out as I can only feel sorry for Pan who is probably still on the rebound from Selzer (remember him? ).

[Kaboom]

Don't get the wrong impression of Regano character-wise. He's a pretty stand-up young guy. You'll get a better taste of his character in the forthcoming chapters.

Speaking of which, Chapter 16 is coming along nicely. Kind of slowly, granted, but still much more quickly than 15. There's a lot of material to cover and things to set up in this chapter, so it's pretty exhausting to keep track of and get everything across while keeping the length and wordiness under control.

[caejones]

Hehehehe. I hope that Goku gets familiar enough with Regano's ki to make it possible to drop in to see him frequently.
Heck, I could actually see it being possible, via teleportation alone, to put off this decision for a while (possibly resulting in some baddy swooping in to screw it all up).

I expect what you have in store will pay off much more quickly and hilariously, though.

[coola]

I really enjoy this fanfic so far, this is how GT should be, i have small question, i know you already drawn Bra, but, did you thought about doing another picture of her, but full one this time, that she how she is dressed?

[Kaboom]

I expect what you have in store will pay off much more quickly and hilariously, though.

I like to think it will, but maybe that's just me.

I know you've already drawn Bra, but, have you thought about doing another picture of her, but a full one this time, that shows how she is dressed?

Well, there's always the outfit I whipped up for her for her character bio way back with chapter 9. That one was meant to be similar to her standard wardrobe from GT. But given how much Bra takes after her mom (and how much cash she's got to throw around), odds are she's got too expansive of a wardrobe to wear the same thing all the time.