Fan-fiction - Dragon Ball 'F'

Any general discussion regarding fan-created works of the Dragon Ball franchise, including AMVs, fan-art, fan-fiction, etc.
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Doctor.
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Fan-fiction - Dragon Ball 'F'

Post by Doctor. » Fri Sep 04, 2015 6:48 pm

Yup, so by this point most of you should know I'm a big Freeza fan. And I always wanted to write some kind of (hopefully) decent Dragon Bal fan-fiction. So I thought about writing a Freeza-centered story that doesn't focus entirely on his past for a change. Because... why not? Now, of course, my primary language isn't English, so mistakes will, no doubt, be present, especially because I was dealing with an entirely different style of writing than the Portuguese one. I'd gladly appreciate constructive criticism, however, as well as any other type of feedback, since I'm treating this as a writing exercise to improve my English and my skill as a writer in general.

This story takes place in an alternate universe/timeline where Freeza doesn't go to Earth after Namek's destruction. It will follow his journey through the universe as he tries to build up power and gain underlings, and hopefully in the future challenge Goku. I have no schedule regarding the release of the chapters, it will be random. Well, I hope you enjoy it nevertheless.

_______________________________________________

Chapter 1 - Freeza's alive!

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ekrolo2
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Re: Fan-fiction - Dragon Ball 'F'

Post by ekrolo2 » Fri Sep 04, 2015 7:13 pm

I was worried the Freeza centered stories would get old after I just finished one of my own and have been reading both supercats Freeza story concurrently with "The Fall of Lord Freeza" but I think you did a good job of still setting yours apart from them. Freeza's moment of vulnerability was easily the highlight of the chapter. Usually whenever the nightmare during his sleep concept gets used, its usually there to bolster Freeza's thirst for revenge which is where I thought you were going with it for a little while. But when Freeza says "I don't want to die anymore" I think you opened up a lot of interesting places to take the story now that Freeza's confidence in himself is crushed and Cooler is replacing him as the main figure of the Empire.
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

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Re: Fan-fiction - Dragon Ball 'F'

Post by Doctor. » Fri Sep 04, 2015 7:43 pm

ekrolo2 wrote:I was worried the Freeza centered stories would get old after I just finished one of my own and have been reading both supercats Freeza story concurrently with "The Fall of Lord Freeza" but I think you did a good job of still setting yours apart from them. Freeza's moment of vulnerability was easily the highlight of the chapter. Usually whenever the nightmare during his sleep concept gets used, its usually there to bolster Freeza's thirst for revenge which is where I thought you were going with it for a little while. But when Freeza says "I don't want to die anymore" I think you opened up a lot of interesting places to take the story now that Freeza's confidence in himself is crushed and Cooler is replacing him as the main figure of the Empire.
Yea, I tried (and will try) not to be too predictable with the way I'll develop the story and the characters of Freeza and Coola in particular. I noticed most stories with Freeza use Goku as his sole motivation to do anything and while Goku will motivate Freeza here, he's obviously not going to be the only one. Glad you enjoyed it :) If I may ask, did you post your own story here in this section of the site? I'm curious.

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ekrolo2
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Re: Fan-fiction - Dragon Ball 'F'

Post by ekrolo2 » Fri Sep 04, 2015 8:01 pm

Doctor. wrote:
ekrolo2 wrote:I was worried the Freeza centered stories would get old after I just finished one of my own and have been reading both supercats Freeza story concurrently with "The Fall of Lord Freeza" but I think you did a good job of still setting yours apart from them. Freeza's moment of vulnerability was easily the highlight of the chapter. Usually whenever the nightmare during his sleep concept gets used, its usually there to bolster Freeza's thirst for revenge which is where I thought you were going with it for a little while. But when Freeza says "I don't want to die anymore" I think you opened up a lot of interesting places to take the story now that Freeza's confidence in himself is crushed and Cooler is replacing him as the main figure of the Empire.
Yea, I tried (and will try) not to be too predictable with the way I'll develop the story and the characters of Freeza and Coola in particular. I noticed most stories with Freeza use Goku as his sole motivation to do anything and while Goku will motivate Freeza here, he's obviously not going to be the only one. Glad you enjoyed it :) If I may ask, did you post your own story here in this section of the site? I'm curious.
I considered it but I opted for fanfiction.net instead because of its larger user base than Kanzenshuu, if you want I could PM a link for it to you if you're interested.
When someone tells you, "Don't present your opinion as fact," what they're actually saying is, "Don't present your opinion with any conviction. Because I don't like your opinion, and I want to be able to dismiss it as easily as possible." Don't fall for it.

How the Black Arc Should End (by Lightbing!):

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Re: Fan-fiction - Dragon Ball 'F'

Post by Doctor. » Fri Sep 04, 2015 8:03 pm

Yea, I'd appreciate it.

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