Fan Manga

Bejiita · Post by **Bejiita** » Sun Jun 12, 2005 4:43 pm

Detective X wrote:You've got a grammar error on Page 4. ("HE'S WAY" should be "HIS WAY")

It's pretty nice. A few things seem really out of proportion, but you've definitely succeeded in capturing that Toriyama-sama style, direction, and dialogue.

Good job.

Thanks for noticing that grammar mistake, I don't usually make errors that I don't notice after(unless it's a forum post which didn't get checked).

I'm happy people are honest here too, if I went somewhere full of users who either mock my drawings completely or praising them without informing me on my mistakes I would end up making countless pages without the fear of drawing out of proportion pictures, now I carefully draw (some pictures), for example, the Uub on page 4 was a quickly done drawing. Whereas the SSJ3 goku (that says time to wrap this up) was a more carefully drawn picture.

Sometimes the chin will look weird shown the opposite way, but I don't business, if I can't fix it I'll just leave it rather than mess it up(I don't even have a decent eraser, and I have one of those crap metal sharpeners that continously leave the point of the pencil flat, not pointy), even some Toriyama manga pics look funny in the mirror.

Anyway, glad you like the story and art.

Leotaku · Post by **Leotaku** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 2:20 pm

Oh. I didn't notice you edited the first post with the new pages.
Damn that reckless Uub. Releasing a blast, during training, powerful enough to blow up the planet.

Interesting. Good luck with the rest.

I'm happy people are honest here too, if I went somewhere full of users who either mock my drawings completely or praising them without informing me on my mistakes..."

Man, I know that. Believe me. I always used to get people putting my drawings down, often with no advice or clear reason (if any reason) given. Bastards.

Bejiita · Post by **Bejiita** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 7:42 pm

I think I'll put them all on the first post, rather than scatter them through the thread. It's been put up on another website now anyway I can link the rest I do from there.

Bejiita · Post by **Bejiita** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 11:05 am

I've put up page 5 in the first post.

Edit: and page 6, added just now.

SonGokuGT · Post by **SonGokuGT** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 6:01 pm

It looks really cool! I always wanted to see Goku and Uub's training! It reminds me of the fan-manga I did back in 8th grade, back in 1998, ha ha!

Bejiita · Post by **Bejiita** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 6:23 pm

SonGokuGT wrote:It looks really cool! I always wanted to see Goku and Uub's training! It reminds me of the fan-manga I did back in 8th grade, back in 1998, ha ha!

Why don't you scan it and post it to share it with us?

I want to see the resemblence in which our manga relate.

mangafan · Post by **mangafan** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 6:45 pm

WOW. You did a great job. Me wants more!!!

SonGokuGT · Post by **SonGokuGT** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 7:01 pm

Bejiita wrote:
SonGokuGT wrote:It looks really cool! I always wanted to see Goku and Uub's training! It reminds me of the fan-manga I did back in 8th grade, back in 1998, ha ha!
Why don't you scan it and post it to share it with us?

I want to see the resemblence in which our manga relate.

I'm reformatting my comp that has my scanner, so as soon as that's done, I'll try to post some current art, because that manga I did is long gone...

Bejiita · Post by **Bejiita** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 7:41 pm

That'd be good, I like seeing other people's art.

And I will be making more pages soon, I have 3 free days, 2 actually, I might even make one tonight, if I feel like it, but Big Brother is keeping me occupied right now.

Bejiita · Post by **Bejiita** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:11 pm

I'm putting pages 7 and 8 up now, they'll be on the 1st post like the others, eventually when space runs out I'll add them on my next post and so on.

Hope you like it.

Alchemist Ed · Post by **Alchemist Ed** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:05 am

Wow, Bejiita, you did a great job on that manga. I admit, the art could be better, but it's a hell of a lot better than what I could do! I think you have something going with this. Keep it up.

SonGokuGT · Post by **SonGokuGT** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 3:03 am

Very nice addition! You might wanna consider after completing this [having it mapped out and all] to redraw it better and ink it! You might also wanna create your own manga and submit it to Tokyopop's Rising Stars of Manga competition once you have more experience under your belt!

Bejiita · Post by **Bejiita** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:51 am

Son_Gokou wrote:Wow, Bejiita, you did a great job on that manga. I admit, the art could be better, but it's a hell of a lot better than what I could do! I think you have something going with this. Keep it up.

Yes, the art could improve a lot I admit.

As for creating my own manga, well, who knows, it could be the start of something big, I might even consider redrawing pages because some look a bit scruffy.

Thanks anyway.

Conan the SSJ · Post by **Conan the SSJ** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 6:27 am

Bejita, that was just ........ AWESOME! Dude, you got some serious potential, and if your name was Akira Toriyama, I'd bow down before your feet and thank God. Please continue with this, it has a lot of potential going for it, just don't label it as "AF".

By the way, are suggestions for the plot acceptable?

Bejiita · Post by **Bejiita** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 9:34 am

Conan the SSJ wrote:Bejita, that was just ........ AWESOME! Dude, you got some serious potential, and if your name was Akira Toriyama, I'd bow down before your feet and thank God. Please continue with this, it has a lot of potential going for it, just don't label it as "AF".

By the way, are suggestions for the plot acceptable?

I just may be Toriyama. Heh heh, do I need to claim I'm joking?

Definately give suggestions, if I like the idea it may wing its way into the manga, I may not like it, but that's what suggestions are for! Suggestions kept Vegeta in the actual manga!

Jodaku · Post by **Jodaku** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 11:29 am

Superb.

I'm really impressed, you really seem to genuinely have a grasp of Toriyama’s overall style in terms of dialogue, mannerisms, expressions, body postures, the effects, the way you draw the clothes and obviously the art style itself.

As somebody already said, the actual art can do with a little tidying up, but overall, while reading it, it has an extremely Toriyama-esque feel to it, and not of a fan attempt and I really can’t say any more than that.

And yeah, Big Brother has so far been great this year.

Conan the SSJ · Post by **Conan the SSJ** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 11:55 am

Perhaps you could take a shot at another tenkaichi budokai, since the previous one went sort of unresolved. An idea for an enemy in the first saga, I've PMed an in-depth summary of how you can use Gohan since he could use the interest again.

Sun_Wukong · Post by **Sun_Wukong** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 2:15 pm

SonGokuGT wrote:It looks really cool! I always wanted to see Goku and Uub's training! It reminds me of the fan-manga I did back in 8th grade, back in 1998, ha ha!

Hey, I was in 8th grade in '98 too!

SonGokuGT · Post by **SonGokuGT** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 2:46 pm

Sun_Wukong wrote:
SonGokuGT wrote:It looks really cool! I always wanted to see Goku and Uub's training! It reminds me of the fan-manga I did back in 8th grade, back in 1998, ha ha!
Hey, I was in 8th grade in '98 too!

Yeah, man! We were lucky, for us 4th grade was '94, 5th was '95, and so on... Easy to remember!

By the way, I'm gonna start on an idea I had a while back... A one-page short manga titled "Goku's Birthday Surprise!" It shall be funny!

Bejiita · Post by **Bejiita** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 3:16 pm

By the way, I'm gonna start on an idea I had a while back... A one-page short manga titled "Goku's Birthday Surprise!" It shall be funny!

Go for it, you'll be happy once it's done.