Dragon Ball NG: New Generation (My Fanfic)

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jjgp1112
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Post by jjgp1112 » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:48 am

I'm sort of the same way. I never finish fanfics, but I hope I get pretty far with this. Just look at my other stuff in my profile. The only thing I made a lot of progess with was my ECW fic.
Yamcha: Do you remember the spell to release him - do you know all the words?
Bulma: Of course! I'm not gonna pull a Frieza and screw it up!
Master Roshi: Bulma, I think Frieza failed because he wore too many clothes!
Cold World (Fanfic)
"It ain't never too late to stop bein' a bitch." - Chad Lamont Butler
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jjgp1112
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Post by jjgp1112 » Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:56 am

Chapter 3:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4897846/3/D ... Generation
Yamcha: Do you remember the spell to release him - do you know all the words?
Bulma: Of course! I'm not gonna pull a Frieza and screw it up!
Master Roshi: Bulma, I think Frieza failed because he wore too many clothes!
Cold World (Fanfic)
"It ain't never too late to stop bein' a bitch." - Chad Lamont Butler
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Booney
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Post by Booney » Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:15 am

Nice story you get going on here.
Reminds me of the old Dragonball sometimes which is a good thing.
:)
Keep it up!
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jjgp1112
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Post by jjgp1112 » Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:21 pm

Booney wrote:Nice story you get going on here.
Reminds me of the old Dragonball sometimes which is a good thing.
:)
Keep it up!
Thanks. It's always great to see reviews on this.
Yamcha: Do you remember the spell to release him - do you know all the words?
Bulma: Of course! I'm not gonna pull a Frieza and screw it up!
Master Roshi: Bulma, I think Frieza failed because he wore too many clothes!
Cold World (Fanfic)
"It ain't never too late to stop bein' a bitch." - Chad Lamont Butler
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bkev
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Post by bkev » Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:53 pm

Reading chapter one... and, while I get he's a punk, I think ya might've overdone the swearing just a little bit. I mean, even Urameshi in YYH didn't throw around F-bombs every coupla panels right?
[quote="Brakus"]For all the flack that FUNimation gets on this forum for their quote about DBZ, there's some modicum of truth to it: a 9-year-old is born every day. Or in some cases, "reborn". DBZ may be a kids' show, but it's been so close to so many hearts all over Japan, America, and quite possibly, even the world.[/quote]
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jjgp1112
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Post by jjgp1112 » Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:00 pm

bkev wrote:Reading chapter one... and, while I get he's a punk, I think ya might've overdone the swearing just a little bit. I mean, even Urameshi in YYH didn't throw around F-bombs every coupla panels right?
Yeah, I admit, I went kinda overboard there, looking back. I calmed it down in chapter 3, and thanks to your suggestion, we'll probably see less and less unless it's really necessary or a running joke about his foul mouth.
Yamcha: Do you remember the spell to release him - do you know all the words?
Bulma: Of course! I'm not gonna pull a Frieza and screw it up!
Master Roshi: Bulma, I think Frieza failed because he wore too many clothes!
Cold World (Fanfic)
"It ain't never too late to stop bein' a bitch." - Chad Lamont Butler
Top
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bkev
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Post by bkev » Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:01 pm

If I may suggest, what about a gag or two involving his mouth getting him in trouble? That's the only time I can see it working really...
oh wait, you already mentioned that. Sorry.

edit- actually read a fanfiction! No way bkev, no way! Anyway, I'm enjoying it at least a little. I don't think it's diverged very much yet, but it seems to be going well.
[quote="Brakus"]For all the flack that FUNimation gets on this forum for their quote about DBZ, there's some modicum of truth to it: a 9-year-old is born every day. Or in some cases, "reborn". DBZ may be a kids' show, but it's been so close to so many hearts all over Japan, America, and quite possibly, even the world.[/quote]
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jjgp1112
Kicks it Old-School
Posts: 7676
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:15 pm
Location: Crooklyn

Post by jjgp1112 » Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:20 pm

Chapter 4:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4897846/4/D ... Generation
Yamcha: Do you remember the spell to release him - do you know all the words?
Bulma: Of course! I'm not gonna pull a Frieza and screw it up!
Master Roshi: Bulma, I think Frieza failed because he wore too many clothes!
Cold World (Fanfic)
"It ain't never too late to stop bein' a bitch." - Chad Lamont Butler
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