Art Styles:
Whoever does these needs to be your primary artist. That's bang on point with the art of the manga/series and that's one of the most important aspects when creating something like this. You want it to feel a part of the franchise and if your art is bad or off looking then you're losing a huge potential readership.
This and the rest of his drawings, for example, seem very off. As standalone drawings they're great but with regards to mimicking the artstyle, something seems very off. Same can be said of many of the pictures mentioned in this post. All fantastic art by themselves but quite far removed from what I'd be comfortable seeing in a fan-manga.
Basically...if it's not Maniaxoi or someone who's drawing and colouring is identical then I'm personally not going to be interested.
Characters:
Pretty much all of your character designs are fantastic, even hidden behind art I don't like, I can see ideas that look really great. My only recommendation is that, with all of the designs you've got, it's essential to work out what's relevant and what needs to be binned. There's not a chance you can use all of them without them feeling forced or underdeveloped so make sure you spend some time deciding what's going to be relevant to your story and how it gets introduced in a way that is natural. Long exposition has never been a huge part of the series so, whilst it's a fan project and I understand you want to keep within the style of the franchise, you need to really edit and put in only the essentials of each detail. There's always the chance to include a character page with extensive information is you so please.
In terms of costume, it's always tempting to make everyone look unique. Dragon Ball has characters that are all well designed in their own right but they all have costumes that fit together and signify a certain type of group. For example, all the
main characters are in dōgi, Freeza's crowd has their battle armour and Buu arc villains were colourful and floaty - They all clearly fit together and that's such an essential part of design. When it comes to your villains, decide on a basic costume structure and build from there.
Story:
Fundamental basics of writing - three act structure. Keep it basic, this isn't the Tree of Life, this is Dragon Ball and whilst you're well within your right to go off on your own path with twists and turns and writing style, just remember the origins of this tale.
So, I'd like to break down your main points with regards to the plot and just write a little on what you may want to consider when writing each element.
That's an interesting idea but does this facilitate the rest of the plot? Is it a necessary change or is it just there to establish that this is an alternate universe? If it is relevant then perhaps use that as your prologue before introducing the hook that will serve as the main objective for your characters. What is their goal? How does this relate to the prologue, what are the steps they'll take and what will stop them along the way?*Set in a alternate Universe/Timeline (whatever fits manga canon) where all the Kaioshin die in a battle against Buu.
A bold move and one I commend you on - that's not an easy feat! Every character throughout the universe has been developed slowly over many volumes into very complex characters. Being a fan manga, chances are, you won't have the length to do this. The way to get around that is to do exactly as Toryiama does when he introduces his characters for the first time. He gives everyone a single, powerful trait that allows the reader to think 'okay, so this guy is about this'. For example, Goku - from the get go we know he's a bit dim but he has a good heart and is dedicated to his art. Sure, he evolves over time but that's the fundamental part of Goku that never really changes and that was established within the first few pages of DB.*The cast is made up of nearly entirely original characters created by members of the project. Very little characters from the actual series will be in it.
It's not easy to do at all but you know your characters - write out their main personality trait and then brainstorm ways you can articulate this whilst keeping it plot appropriate.
Alternative universe, sure, why not? Just make sure there's some exposition as to why things are the way they are.*Includes elements from GT and AF such as SSJ4 and SSJ5, both with alternate designs such as varying colors.
Is this an important plot detail and if so, how will you show this in your writing? Will you visit a planet occupied by the Saiyans and see some hierarchical ruling? Will they encounter the inhabitants of that planet and learn of their regime through them? My point is, you don't want to introduce these differences if they have little bearing on the plot. You can always show what kind of people the Saiyans are like through the characters rather than showing their world. Take Vegeta and Nappa as an example - you never see what their race were like initially but you can tell right away by how they react to each other. There's clearly a hierarchy between Vegeta and Nappa and this is pretty much explained when he refers to himself as Prince Vegeta.*The Saiyans aren't nearly extinct and instead have a Empire spanning nearly half the universe.
Purpose and an interesting personality is all that's really needed here. Dragon Ball's villains are great but aside from the jinzoningen, you never really too much about them as people. The main focus has always been their goal and then some unique aspect of their personality. Freeza's aristocratic tone, Buu's sadistic tone or Cell's calm but menacing demeanor - they're all very simple traits but incredibly memorable.*No recurring villains from the original series or movies will be included, all original and fan created.
Don't overload your manga with too many characters and races just to say 'hey look, we have variety!' - it's okay to introduce other races and have them save the day but you need a primary focus or it's going to feel unorganised.*Yes, other races beside the Saiyans will have chances to shine.
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So that's pretty much all I can think of! You've got an artist who knows how to draw perfectly, you've got some great ideas that have the potential to evolve into fantastic, it's now down to you to make sure it happens! Rush nothing, keep us informed with sketches and previews and finally, good luck!
I don't think a single base non-fused base Saiyan ever surpassed Super Saiyan Goku from the Namek arc, so those kind of gains are still too much for me. Goku and Vegeta seemed to slow down their growth big time after the Cell arc, and I think most Saiyans would have their growth slowed even before that point. They have limits, and that doesn't mean they can't get stronger, but the stronger they get the harder it's going to be to progress. So I don't think sparring with others is going to make that kind of difference. They'd have to be thousands of times stronger than Boo arc base Saiyans to rival Ultimate Gohan, and I think that's a little much.
I'm not expecting you to change it, I'm just saying it's a pet peeve of mine when it comes to fan works.
but yeah ill find a happy medium to character power. May seem abit high for some, but at least itll be consistent.
