Fanmanga - Dragon Ball New Age

KentalSSJ6 · Post by **KentalSSJ6** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 11:45 am

I find it funny that you tell me and other people to give Absalon a chance, and yet your here telling Malik what should and shouldent be in his own doujin.

Dr. Machismo · Post by **Dr. Machismo** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 11:54 am

KentalSSJ6 wrote:I find it funny that you tell me and other people to give Absalon a chance, and yet your here telling Malik what should and shouldent be in his own doujin.

Honestly, dude? Just because I somewhat like something you don't doesn't mean my opinion and advice doesn't matter.

hulkty · Post by **hulkty** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 12:15 pm

Dr. Machismo wrote:Well, I don't think this will be taken into consideration, but I don't think I've given advice on this fanmanga as effectively as I could. So here's advice!

-Do not revive Goku and Piccolo like how you did here. Reviving them like that kills the significance of GT's ending. Explain a good how-to then...

-To reinforce the significance of GT's ending, make Vegeta, Majuub, Gohan, Goten, Trunks and Pan more serious about training and protecting the Earth. Since they should be keeping Goku's legacy and not be relying on Dragonballs, they should be more serious on managing things by themselves. Make Vegeta leave Earth for training at the beginning of the manga. Absalon? LOL! I think they can still "act" the same and just have gotten a bit stronger off camera. This story already did a decent job of that, so...not this one off.

-Do not kill off Krillin. As many have said, making him as powerful as the Super Saiyans is unnecessary and over the top. Krillin should have as much of a role as he did in GT here: nothing important. He was already old. Didn't really matter if he died in the story or not. This way he can help with the Other World fighters. Also, it's not so bad that he gets up to at least SSj1 level with being immortally dead and all... :/ Getting back his youth, eternal afterlife, and more Other World training seems like a decent idea for ALL the Z-Fighter humans really... :/ Knock this one off as well.

-Drop the Black Dragonballs. Bringing in yet another set of Dragonballs also kills the significance of GT's ending as the heroes should not be relying on Dragonballs. Don't agree too much on the NEW Dragonballs, BUT I do agree that the Black Star Dragonballs should have a small role to counteract more with GT.

-Remove Rigor and his family from the story: They are your typical generic fancharacters (they're a bunch of villainous evil Saiyans) whose story doesn't go much deeper than wanting revenge. Their arc is also very weak and lacking in depth (it can just be condensed into "strong guy shows up, beats up everyone and gets beaten at the end of the day". That would only make for an acceptable feature film at best). It only lasted one battle. I agree to tell the truth. I know he is the first SSj5 of the series, but his story is kinda lame :/ Maybe at least remove the whole family-thing and just focus on the character himself...?

-Aladjinn seems like an excellent villain and has a great story. Make him use Majuub as his servant and have him devastate Earth instead of possessing Vegeta. As many have said, possessing Vegeta and having him as a pawn is unnecessary and overdone. Make Vegeta be training in outer space and return sometime during the conflict with Aladjinn. The main fighters in the battle against Aladjinn should be Gohan, Goten, Trunks, Pan, Vegeta (when he shows up of course) and Majuub (if Aladjinn loses his control over him). Agree on this for sure, except for Vegeta's training in space...not so sure about that part.

Malik_DBNA · Post by **Malik_DBNA** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 12:22 pm

The 'negating of ending's significance' happened all throughout Z. The death of Freeza and Goku dying just the first super saiyan was suppossed to be the ending. But Goku is alive and hanging out in space just 'cuz. The Android Saga itself is full of false endings due to constantly introducing newer, stronger threats. Then, the significance of the suppossed 'real ending' of the cell saga with Goku leaving Earth under Gohan's protection and Gohan becoming more powerful than Goku is completely negated by the forced inclusion of the Boo Saga.Boo shows up, bring back Goku, yadda yadda. Even Goku leaving with Oob at the end of Z is is negated by GT as a whole, as its just a huge Goku powerfest and Oob is used as a side character, taking away from his supposed role as Goku's successor. I just decided to bring Goku back BEFORE the actual story, which goes against the AF abd Absalon pattern of looking for a way to bring Goku back AFTER the crap hits the fan.

As for the Dragon Balls pattern, just because its not 'required' doesnt mean it cant be done. And their creation by King Piccolo isnt as much a stretch as some others I've seen (like one where Freeza was brought back to life and made a set for himself...)

Its not so much selfish for Vegeta to leave Earth, just irresponsible. He can become as powerful as he wants to on Earth. He's done it many times over. He doesn't need to leave. But as I stated earlier, the fact that it would seems as though I'm riding Absalon's plot points, its not going to be done by me. Now, I do have plans for *SPOILERS* Goku and Vegeta to leave Earth at some point, but not to 'become stronger' *SPOILERS END*

Cell should have taught everyone the significance of trqining more, but didnt. Boo should have, but didnt. Baby should have, but didnt. Super 17 should have, but didnt. Sadly, its just the way things are. The super warriors never got serious about trqining until just before or when crap hit the fan. Besides, many of them are already training more in DBNA, so theres no real need to complain about them not just living as training fighters.

I have cut a total of 6 villains from DBNA already ( a cell-boo-freeza fusion, Satoshi, and Sleth to name a few). Had I kept Rigor's original story ( comes to earth just to kill everyone, just like Xicor), I could justify cutting him. But now there's so much more to him. Vegeta's past has come back to haunt him, Rigor is the first to reach SSJ5 and not the heroes, Rigor has become a sympathetic and tragic villain in that he has a valid reason to want Vegeta dead, and the others are just 'wrong place wrong time get outta my way'. Ending the battle after the first confrontation seems short, but sets into motiom the entire series and a whole new Saga that truly could be considered as part of the same Saga with the Aladjinn Saga, while being a Saga unto itself, can almost be viewed as a filler saga that breaks it up.

Granted, Absalon is not without its flaws, but that doesnt stop me from looking past them and enjoying the series for what it is. When I'm doing my pages, I typically have the real series, DBZ abridged, or Absalon playing in the background. Everyone has those 'I would have done this and this differently' ideas (I see all the ones you yourself post on Multiverse), but that shouldnt stop whats generating the ideas from being enjoyable.

As for condensing, give me a day and I could condense EVERY DBZ, DBGT arc into an hour long movie.

Now, despite all this, I really do appreciate all ypur comments, critiques, and props on the stuff you do like. I take everything into consideration, just dont count on me restarting my whole series cuz I'm not. Little rewrites not withstanding, this is the way DBNA is going to be.

Dr. Machismo · Post by **Dr. Machismo** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 1:48 pm

@hulkty: A good "how-to" on bringing back Goku and Piccolo? I can't think of one off the bat, but it definitely wouldn't be them coming back at the start with a random set of Dragonballs. And Absalon also having the characters get serious about training doesn't make it a bad thing at all. That's one of few all around good things about Absalon. Honestly, do you people understand the significance of GT's ending? And I'm not saying to change the characters' personalities; just make them more serious about training/fighting. They're trying to preserve Goku's legacy. As for Krillin getting a bigger role here, I don't think that's a bad idea at all actually. I also never said to use Dragonballs at all. As for Vegeta leaving to train on space, honestly, it's not over the top at all. Vegeta has never been shown to be by most standards a "great" parent. Having him leave is very similar to Goku leaving with Uub. Goku also had a family, but he left. Why? Because that's who he is. And Vegeta is similar.

@Malik

The 'negating of ending's significance' happened all throughout Z. The death of Freeza and Goku dying just the first super saiyan was suppossed to be the ending. But Goku is alive and hanging out in space just 'cuz. The Android Saga itself is full of false endings due to constantly introducing newer, stronger threats. Then, the significance of the suppossed 'real ending' of the cell saga with Goku leaving Earth under Gohan's protection and Gohan becoming more powerful than Goku is completely negated by the forced inclusion of the Boo Saga.Boo shows up, bring back Goku, yadda yadda. Even Goku leaving with Oob at the end of Z is is negated by GT as a whole, as its just a huge Goku powerfest and Oob is used as a side character, taking away from his supposed role as Goku's successor. I just decided to bring Goku back BEFORE the actual story, which goes against the AF abd Absalon pattern of looking for a way to bring Goku back AFTER the crap hits the fan.

It has not been proven if Toriyama meant to end the series with Goku dying in his fight with Frieza. The end to the Namek saga also had no sense of closure or finality. The ending to Android saga would have been an excellent ending to the series and continuing it was not needed and making Goku the star again was not a good decision storywise, but you shouldn't use flaws of the official series to support your case. It wasn't that great then, it's not good now. You are right that GT negated the end of Z. And guess what? GT sucks. Honestly, don't use flaws to support your argument

As for the Dragon Balls pattern, just because its not 'required' doesnt mean it cant be done. And their creation by King Piccolo isnt as much a stretch as some others I've seen (like one where Freeza was brought back to life and made a set for himself...)

I'm not saying it can't be done, but I don't think it's a good idea. But MAYBE, having a new set of Dragonballs can work.

Cell should have taught everyone the significance of trqining more, but didnt. Boo should have, but didnt. Baby should have, but didnt. Super 17 should have, but didnt. Sadly, its just the way things are. The super warriors never got serious about trqining until just before or when crap hit the fan. Besides, many of them are already training more in DBNA, so theres no real need to complain about them not just living as training fighters.

The Z Fighters who slacked off after the Cell saga were Gohan, Krillin and Yamcha. Gohan was still young, so it makes sense that he wouldn't be responsible all the time. Krillin and Yamcha ... are just Krillin and Yamcha. The latter even gave up fighting altogether because it was clear he wasn't much use. Those characters simply don't have the same potential as the Saiyans or Namekians, so it makes sense that they'd not take fighting as seriously. Krillin and Yamcha also aren't the characters I'm saying should focus on getting stronger. As for the Majin Buu saga, the key Z Fighters who are said to have slacked off are Goten and Trunks, which makes sense, as they were both young and didn't understand things as adequately as the adults. As for Gohan, he's now a grown man that should be more responsible at this point. He saw what slacking off did to him. By the end of the Majin saga, he should be smart enough to keep up his training not because he likes it, but because it's the right thing. GT does say that he kept up his training to an extent. And come on dude ... GT wasn't good. Sorry, but it's that bad. And also, the Baby and Super 17 sagas didn't end with Goku and the Dragonballs leaving, so it makes sense that those events wouldn't get everyone significantly more serious. And again, the characters even point out in the final episode of GT that they should get more responsible. But you're right when you say the characters are more serious about fighting in your comic, but it's overshadowed by Goku reappearing

Vegeta leaving Earth isn't an irresponsible thing to do. He's leaving Earth in Gohan and the others' hands for a while, who should be able to handle things. He'll come back eventually. Having him leave Earth doesn't make you look like you're copying Absalon, what makes you look like a copy is through bigger things like the villains and such

And agin, Rigor could work. But honestly, he would need a longer and deeper saga. No saga in the manga has been as short and shallow as Rigor's. And yes, you COULD condense the sagas of DBZ into a movie ... but the fact you actually HAVE to condense them shows that they have more depth than the movies. The Rigor saga can't really be condensed into a movie; it already feels like one, which is not what an arc in the series should be like.

dbzfan7 · Post by **dbzfan7** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:40 pm

I'll say I'm not that much of a fan of the Rigor Saga, I do like the changes from when I first read it as I didn't understand the point at first. I however really love the Aladjin saga so far. My only nitpick is Gohan being a SSJ for some reason. I really don't see why he would be one. Kinda like Rigor (excluding SSJ5), Gohan has all of his power in base form.

Malik_DBNA · Post by **Malik_DBNA** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:42 pm

dbzfan7 wrote:I'll say I'm not that much of a fan of the Rigor Saga, I do like the changes from when I first read it as I didn't understand the point at first. I however really love the Aladjin saga so far. My only nitpick is Gohan being a SSJ for some reason. I really don't see why he would be one. Kinda like Rigor (excluding SSJ5), Gohan has all of his power in base form.

This was a mistake I made, and have owned up to. When I revamp these pages, Gohan will no longer be a Super Saiyan

dbzfan7 · Post by **dbzfan7** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:45 pm

Malik_DBNA wrote:
dbzfan7 wrote:I'll say I'm not that much of a fan of the Rigor Saga, I do like the changes from when I first read it as I didn't understand the point at first. I however really love the Aladjin saga so far. My only nitpick is Gohan being a SSJ for some reason. I really don't see why he would be one. Kinda like Rigor (excluding SSJ5), Gohan has all of his power in base form.
This was a mistake I made, and have owned up to. When I revamp these pages, Gohan will no longer be a Super Saiyan

Alright that's good. When are the revamps to the problems you said you wanted to fix coming? Looking forward to seeing those and how the Aladjin saga plays out.

TheGmGoken · Post by **TheGmGoken** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:57 pm

He was SSJ

? I forgot lol. One thing I do dislike is Gohan's hair though. It just doesn't fit IMO and makes Gohan head/face looks like an apple. The fact is his face is very accurate but the hair. EWW lol.

Malik_DBNA · Post by **Malik_DBNA** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:03 pm

dbzfan7 wrote: Alright that's good. When are the revamps to the problems you said you wanted to fix coming? Looking forward to seeing those and how the Aladjinn saga plays out.

I'm thinking of doing revamp pages on weekends starting either this week or next week. I'll do the normal story during the weekdays, with revamps on weekends to try and speed up the process a little. But that's just the theory lol.

TheGmGoken wrote:He was SSJ ? I forgot lol. One thing I do dislike is Gohan's hair though. It just doesn't fit IMO and makes Gohan head/face looks like an apple. The fact is his face is very accurate but the hair. EWW lol.

yeah, right before Goku and Vegeta fuse, Gohan briefly turns super saiyan. But its gonna get fixed. And in the original series, Gohan had a new haircut almost every saga. I'm gonna do something similar.

omegalucas · Post by **omegalucas** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:12 pm

Dr. Machismo wrote: But honestly, he would need a longer and deeper saga. No saga in the manga has been as short and shallow as Rigor's. And yes, you COULD condense the sagas of DBZ into a movie ... but the fact you actually HAVE to condense them shows that they have more depth than the movies. The Rigor saga can't really be condensed into a movie; it already feels like one, which is not what an arc in the series should be like.

Just think about the Rigor stuff as the equivalent to the battle with Raditz. The only difference here is that the Z Senshi aren't going to spend the next entire year (or whatever time it'll take for RIgor and family to return) just training, but actually fighting another enemy.

mAcChaos · Post by **mAcChaos** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:48 pm

Yeah I was gonna say, I don't think of Rigor as a whole saga but more like Raditz. But I like the side characters introduced with him, some of them are interesting.

I was never a fan of GT or any extra SSJ forms beyond SSJ3 though.

Dr. Machismo · Post by **Dr. Machismo** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:43 pm

The battle of Raditz was part of an actual saga. It introduced the Saiyans and was a prelude to the battle against Vegeta and Nappa the following year. The Rigor saga, however, is too different from the Aladjinn saga.

dbzfan7 · Post by **dbzfan7** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:30 pm

Malik_DBNA wrote: I'm thinking of doing revamp pages on weekends starting either this week or next week. I'll do the normal story during the weekdays, with revamps on weekends to try and speed up the process a little. But that's just the theory lol.

A manga theory! Thanks for listening!

Malik_DBNA wrote:And in the original series, Gohan had a new haircut almost every saga. I'm gonna do something similar.

That'll be cool to see. The current one is okay.

TheGmGoken · Post by **TheGmGoken** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:58 pm

yeah, right before Goku and Vegeta fuse, Gohan briefly turns super saiyan. But its gonna get fixed. And in the original series, Gohan had a new haircut almost every saga. I'm gonna do something similar.

So you're turning him into Bulma

Malik_DBNA · Post by **Malik_DBNA** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 10:19 pm

TheGmGoken · Post by **TheGmGoken** » Thu Sep 12, 2013 10:38 pm

This 1 page is better than the whole DBM plot-novel-comic-specials. That's right I went there

Also..do you know there is LOTS of youtube video(With a decent number of views and languages) of your comic? Seems like lots of people enjoy the work. Also quick question are there alternate names for Aldajinn you had or prototype names?

Also WTF? You won best fanfic comic award in 2006?

dbzfan7 · Post by **dbzfan7** » Fri Sep 13, 2013 12:07 am

Wait why is Gohan going back to earth now? He'll get his ass kicked. If he has some deep power within he better get it out first. He still isn't SSJ4 level or ASSJ4.

Malik_DBNA · Post by **Malik_DBNA** » Fri Sep 13, 2013 6:09 am

TheGmGoken wrote:This 1 page is better than the whole DBM plot-novel-comic-specials. That's right I went there

Also..do you know there is LOTS of youtube video(With a decent number of views and languages) of your comic? Seems like lots of people enjoy the work. Also quick question are there alternate names for Aldajinn you had or prototype names?

Also WTF? You won best fanfic comic award in 2006?

Yes I do know lol. Victor's are particularly nice as he has a little 'opening video' for them, and has background music and sound effects. Its just in Spanish

Originally, Aladjinn's name was the very bland "Demon Boo". But I had my fans vote on what his new name would be and Aladjinn won out over Majinnx, Boojinn, The Great Nameless Evil, and Mechika.

Yep. I entered one of my better drawn chapters into a fancomic contest and it beat out all the other entries. This was the same year I won 2nd Place and People's Choce at the Comic Symposium for my other comic Blood Rite.

dbzfan7 wrote:Wait why is Gohan going back to earth now? He'll get his ass kicked. If he has some deep power within he better get it out first. He still isn't SSJ4 level or ASSJ4.

I have methods to my madness. Trust me

dbzfan7 · Post by **dbzfan7** » Fri Sep 13, 2013 4:42 pm

Malik_DBNA wrote:
dbzfan7 wrote:Wait why is Gohan going back to earth now? He'll get his ass kicked. If he has some deep power within he better get it out first. He still isn't SSJ4 level or ASSJ4.
I have methods to my madness. Trust me

I hope so as I can imagine Gohan getting vaporized and coming right back to the Kaioshin planet with a halo.

Kanzenshuu

Fanmanga - Dragon Ball New Age

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