DB Continued chapter 2 (complete)

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Bejiita
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Post by Bejiita » Mon Jan 09, 2006 8:11 pm

masenko wrote:Wow you're a pretty good artist but I have a few problems with an otherwise great piece of work. Every character has an awkward pattern of how they are positioned on the page which makes it seem less realistic. For example, you really never change how a character is drawn. Trunks and Goku usually are standing straight and their heads are either slightly left/right or straight on. Also, you do tend to use a side shot often. The great thing about Toriyama's work (which I am assuming you are trying to emulate) is that he uses out of the ordinary positions for characters which make them look alive. Often he'll show characters slightly from the back side or completely from a bird's eye view. He's a master at his work but I am recommending these techniques because they helped me create better DBZ drawings in the past and if I had a scanner, I would definitely show them. Also, you tend to not show more than one character in each panel, maybe using larger paper or finer pens would help this. Wow, I've really gone on with these comments but I guess it's because I am so into your story and drawings. Good Luck with it and keep at it!

P.S.
You obviously have a scanner so try to type in the words afterwards, it'll look way more professional.
Yeah, you're right, I do need more work on drawing characters from different angles, it's another thing I like about Toriyama's artwork as well. I just get worried incase I mess up the page with a picture I screw up being the odd one out, I do have confidence in my drawing, but I just need more practice on proportioning, you'll start to see more dynamic angles as I progress, thanks for the pointers though. The thing with my manga is you could see some pictures that look proffessional and another one might make you think 'ah, so he's not perfect at drawing, there's a few flaws here and there', then again, I do notice them, I just get lazy...

As for the typing the text out, that's just laziness too, I can't be bothered yet, but I will consider doing it after I've done this chapter. I should also go over my drawings with a fine pen, but I just do it in pencil and leave it at that really.

DBZ MAN, thanks for the good comments too, it's coming along nicely still.

Great Saiyaman, you should try to practice, you never know.
My DB Fan manga:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=19169 [The new version]
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1942]Chapter 1
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2685]Chapter 2
Photo's I've taken of the nearby neighbourhoods where I live in South London: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8306850@N08/

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Metrite
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Post by Metrite » Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:48 am

I just rechecked and noticed the last few new pages, nice job. So that was Vegeta who appeared on the last panel of that one page... Now the last-panel-cliffhanger is how will he react to a boot in the face? :P

Still working on what you'll have some of the characters you thought up look? I bet the easiest to imagine would be ssj2 Trunks.

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Leotaku
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Post by Leotaku » Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:34 am

Haha. That Simpsons one is fun stuff. :lol:
The fight itself recreates the actual fight scene quite well, too. Very nice.

And I enjoyed the training in your comic. The action poses are pretty good. :)

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Bejiita
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Post by Bejiita » Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:01 pm

Metrite wrote:I just rechecked and noticed the last few new pages, nice job. So that was Vegeta who appeared on the last panel of that one page... Now the last-panel-cliffhanger is how will he react to a boot in the face? :P

Still working on what you'll have some of the characters you thought up look? I bet the easiest to imagine would be ssj2 Trunks.
Yea, it wasn't a really clear picture so it must have been hard to tell it was him.

SSJ2 Trunks wasn't really hard to draw, but Goten SSJ and SSJ2 are difficult to draw.

I thought the Simpsons as DBZ fighters is quite funny too.

As for my training scene, the poses took long to get right, I had to re-draw it several times!
Last edited by Bejiita on Fri Jan 13, 2006 1:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
My DB Fan manga:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=19169 [The new version]
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1942]Chapter 1
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2685]Chapter 2
Photo's I've taken of the nearby neighbourhoods where I live in South London: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8306850@N08/

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desirecampbell
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Post by desirecampbell » Thu Jan 12, 2006 4:13 pm

Just wanted to put my 2-cents in (and with the way the looney's going, those two cents are worth more and more every day :D)...

Love how every page ends with something about to happen, really pulls me in - can't wait to see more :)

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Chaos Saiyajin
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Post by Chaos Saiyajin » Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:15 pm

Erg! Cliffhanger!!! :lol: Nice parody by the way, I can't wait to see more, Bejita!
I really, really need to get back into the habit of posting.

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Post by Demi » Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:50 pm

Where is this Simpsons parody? I don't see any links or anything...

edit - nevermind found it

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Post by Socar15 » Fri Jan 13, 2006 1:59 am

The Simpson’s parody was indeed pretty good. That was an impressive reproduction of the Goku/Vegeta fight.

Anyway, keep it coming.

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Post by t-bone135 » Sun Jan 15, 2006 11:31 am

That boot to the face made me laugh. You would think that Vegeta would learn by now not to challenge Goku like that. :lol:

But yeah, that cliffhanger is evil, but expected. Don't leave us hanging too long and get some more up soon. :D
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Bejiita
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Post by Bejiita » Sun Jan 15, 2006 12:18 pm

t-bone135 wrote:That boot to the face made me laugh. You would think that Vegeta would learn by now not to challenge Goku like that. :lol:

But yeah, that cliffhanger is evil, but expected. Don't leave us hanging too long and get some more up soon. :D
Don't worry, the next page has been drawn in rough already, I'm just drawing the neat version. I went out for the weekend so I didn't update but I will soon. :wink:

Update: I have just put up another page, I'll do the next one...well, I won't say when because I ain't sure, I have stuff to do at the moment...
My DB Fan manga:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=19169 [The new version]
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1942]Chapter 1
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2685]Chapter 2
Photo's I've taken of the nearby neighbourhoods where I live in South London: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8306850@N08/

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Chaos Saiyajin
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Post by Chaos Saiyajin » Sun Jan 15, 2006 4:11 pm

:shock: Ooh, can't wait to see Goten as an SSJ with that hair! Great work, Bejita! :P
I really, really need to get back into the habit of posting.

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Post by t-bone135 » Mon Jan 16, 2006 6:37 am

Goku's turn to get a boot me thinks! One question though, where's Trunks? Will he be training also? :? Probably a dumb question, but when I saw Vegeta show up, I thought that he would have wanted to test his from-the-future son. That's all, and good work as always. :D
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Bejiita
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Post by Bejiita » Mon Jan 16, 2006 10:22 am

Don't worry, Trunks is on the ground watching the fighting, he'll come up soon enough. Not a dumb question really, I too would have wondered where Trunks went if this was someone else's manga!

I was actually going to put him in the page I last posted but I redone it, he'll probably be in the next page or something.

Oh yeah, about SSJ Goten, let's hope I don't screw it up.
My DB Fan manga:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=19169 [The new version]
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1942]Chapter 1
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2685]Chapter 2
Photo's I've taken of the nearby neighbourhoods where I live in South London: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8306850@N08/

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Post by DBZ MAN » Mon Jan 16, 2006 3:51 pm

um, i might seem like an idiot but is there a link to this simpson/dbz parody on the internet?

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Post by desirecampbell » Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:00 pm

DBZ MAN wrote:um, i might seem like an idiot but is there a link to this simpson/dbz parody on the internet?
It's one the first page of this thread :lol:

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DBZ MAN
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Post by DBZ MAN » Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:06 pm

Oh yeah :lol:
I looked at page 1 and it must not of uploaded all of it.

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Post by Demi » Mon Jan 16, 2006 6:51 pm

Future Trunks not joining in the training, Present Trunks no where to be seen... do i detect an upcoming Trunks VS Trunks fight? =P Future Trunks would kick Trunks's arse. =P

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Post by desirecampbell » Mon Jan 16, 2006 8:27 pm

Demi wrote:Future Trunks not joining in the training, Present Trunks no where to be seen... do i detect an upcoming Trunks VS Trunks fight? =P Future Trunks would kick Trunks's arse. =P
I don't know... Trunks is pretty strong - far stronger than Future Trunks was at his age - but this Future Trunks must be older than we've seen him and with all that fighting in the other universe he'll be much stronger.

I sense a Trunks/Future Trunks fusion... Trunks.

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Post by Chaos Saiyajin » Mon Jan 16, 2006 8:58 pm

Well, Mirai Trunks would obviously win...Mirai grew up in a time of chaos, causing him to train constantly, while Trunks grew up in times of peace, leaving him to slack off...That's probably why we never see GT Trunks attain SSJ2.
I really, really need to get back into the habit of posting.

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Post by desirecampbell » Mon Jan 16, 2006 9:56 pm

Chaos Saiyajin wrote:Well, Mirai Trunks would obviously win...Mirai grew up in a time of chaos, causing him to train constantly, while Trunks grew up in times of peace, leaving him to slack off...That's probably why we never see GT Trunks attain SSJ2.
True, but Trunks (as we know him now) is waaaaay more powerful than Future Trunks was when we last saw him. It's up to Bejita to decide how much more powerful he's gotten.

It's true that Future Trunks has lived a hard life, and that hardship pushed him to train harder and harder, but we have no idea how much stronger this "new threat" has made him. And we don't know if he's gone SSj2 yet - for all we know, he has no advantage over his "other" self.

I think it'd be a great opportunity to get a rivalry going between Future Trunks and Trunks. No matter what Future Trunks does, Trunks is faster, stronger... and he does it with that cocky Vegeta-esque attitude. Usually this wouldn't phase Future Trunks, he's not one to care about who's strongest like Vegeta, but it's something about the way Trunks acts like he deserves such power, how he doesn't even train much - how he's so aloof. Future Trunks has had to bust his asss to get where he is, and this litttle punk, this other-Trunks, shows him up so badly...


anyway... that kind-of got away from me there


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