Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

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FoolsGil
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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by FoolsGil » Sat Feb 27, 2016 10:16 pm

jcogginsa wrote:1 doesn't really fit into this part. I'll add them to the conversation at the end of their fight, when the whole chapter is done.
Why would it not fit? Taking it from Yamcha's standpoint, an alternate version of his dead friend's son is right in front of him for a fight. This kid is also maybe 5 years older than his own son. Why wouldn't they talk before the match begins? Second, they're already having a conversation at the end of the fight, why bog the length between the end of that match and the second one when there can be dialogue at both ends?
I don't really think 2 is necessary.
Why not? There's an art to building tension and suspense, and the reader has no idea how powerful Yamcha is. Finally, Yamcha at unpowered base, is going to just throw an attack at an obviously stronger opponent. Why wouldn't Gohan just swat the attack away if its an unpowered uncharged attack that's not even going to leave a scratch?

As for 3, The hypnosis didn't make him sluggish, it made him lose track of where the Sokidan was
Except they don't track attacks by their eyes. They stopped doing that by the 23rd Budokai. Piccolo even tells Gohan in the Saiyan saga to track the high speed movement by ki sense. How Goku initially got some good hits on Freeza was becausehe couldn't ki sense, thus Goku could trick Freeza and he got smacked around a couple times. so Gohan can't lose track of the Sokidan unless his senses are being dulled.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Sat Feb 27, 2016 10:24 pm

FoolsGil wrote:
jcogginsa wrote:1 doesn't really fit into this part. I'll add them to the conversation at the end of their fight, when the whole chapter is done.
Why would it not fit? Taking it from Yamcha's standpoint, an alternate version of his dead friend's son is right in front of him for a fight. This kid is also maybe 5 years older than his own son. Why wouldn't they talk before the match begins? Second, they're already having a conversation at the end of the fight, why bog the length between the end of that match and the second one when there can be dialogue at both ends?
I don't really think 2 is necessary.
Why not? There's an art to building tension and suspense, and the reader has no idea how powerful Yamcha is. Finally, Yamcha at unpowered base, is going to just throw an attack at an obviously stronger opponent. Why wouldn't Gohan just swat the attack away if its an unpowered uncharged attack that's not even going to leave a scratch?

As for 3, The hypnosis didn't make him sluggish, it made him lose track of where the Sokidan was
Except they don't track attacks by their eyes. They stopped doing that by the 23rd Budokai. Piccolo even tells Gohan in the Saiyan saga to track the high speed movement by ki sense. How Goku initially got some good hits on Freeza was because since he couldn't ki sense, so Freeza got tricked and got smacked around a couple times. so Gohan can't lose track of the Sokidan unless his senses are being dulled.
1. No real place in scene 2 where Yamcha is having a conversation with Gohan
2. I'll add a bit where Gohan senses the strength Yamcha's Sokidan has.
3. Gohan was tracking the Sokidan with his ki sense, and watching Yamcha in case he made any sudden moves. The Hypnosis tricked his Ki sense, and made him think the Sokidan was in a different area than it actually was

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Sun Feb 28, 2016 11:50 am

I've edited Scene 2 as well as Scene 4

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Tue Mar 01, 2016 12:30 pm

Is the new scene 2 acceptable?

I edit the scenes into the claims post whenever they're accepted, so I want to know so I can do that

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by FoolsGil » Tue Mar 01, 2016 1:57 pm

jcogginsa wrote:Is the new scene 2 acceptable?

I edit the scenes into the claims post whenever they're accepted, so I want to know so I can do that
They are acceptable.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Tue Mar 01, 2016 2:04 pm

Okay then.

After you finish Scene 5, scene one is all that will be left, so I'll go ahead and claim that

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Wed Mar 02, 2016 2:53 am

So, it has come to my attention that the word filter is no longer present.

So, since we can no longer count on that to cover for certain things, I feel we should unified the ways we spell certain names, for Consistency

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by FoolsGil » Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:14 am

Okay. Hildegarn or Hirudegarn? It doesn't matter to me.
Though i prefer to call the God of Destruction, Beers, for the story I've been inputting Beerus
Then there's Chiatzu or Chaozu, Tenshinhan or Tien Shin Han
Bulma and Tights doesn't have a last name, but if you want to make Briefs their surname I won't bat an eye
There's Karin, and then there's Karin where an o is switched out with the A
There's Tullece, and then there's T-u-r-l-e-s.
There's Herc.ule, there's Mr. Satan, there's Mark. I prefer to go with Mark "Herc.ule" Satan to be honest but I'll take anything.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Wed Mar 02, 2016 12:16 pm

FoolsGil wrote:Okay. Hildegarn or Hirudegarn? It doesn't matter to me.
Though i prefer to call the God of Destruction, Beers, for the story I've been inputting Beerus
Then there's Chiatzu or Chaozu, Tenshinhan or Tien Shin Han
Bulma and Tights doesn't have a last name, but if you want to make Briefs their surname I won't bat an eye
There's Karin, and then there's Karin where an o is switched out with the A
There's Tullece, and then there's T-u-r-l-e-s.
There's Herc.ule, there's Mr. Satan, there's Mark. I prefer to go with Mark "Herc.ule" Satan to be honest but I'll take anything.
My preferences are
Hirudegarn
Beerus (If only because we've already used that a lot, and if we swtiched we'd need to edit the existing chapter)
Tien
Chaozu
Korin with an o
Tullece
Hercule Satan as a stage name, with Mark being his real name

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Thu Mar 03, 2016 12:43 pm

I just had an idea for Universe 2.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by FoolsGil » Thu Mar 03, 2016 3:28 pm

jcogginsa wrote:I just had an idea for Universe 2.
...Are you going to elaborate?

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Thu Mar 03, 2016 10:15 pm

FoolsGil wrote:
jcogginsa wrote:I just had an idea for Universe 2.
...Are you going to elaborate?
The basic idea is that the person with Hirudegarn sealed inside them is able to call upon his power, without actually summoning him. This allows them to act more effectively, since otherwise they'd be a massive weakpoint. It works somewhat similarly to being a Jinchuriki in Naruto, If you've seen that series.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by FoolsGil » Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:28 pm

jcogginsa wrote:
FoolsGil wrote:
jcogginsa wrote:I just had an idea for Universe 2.
...Are you going to elaborate?
The basic idea is that the person with Hirudegarn sealed inside them is able to call upon his power, without actually summoning him. This allows them to act more effectively, since otherwise they'd be a massive weakpoint. It works somewhat similarly to being a Jinchuriki in Naruto, If you've seen that series.
So Hoi is going to be Naruto huh? rofl, sure. :P

While we're on the subject of T2 I have some ideas.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:56 pm

I'd actually had a few other thoughts about that as well.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by FoolsGil » Fri Mar 04, 2016 12:25 am

jcogginsa wrote:I'd actually had a few other thoughts about that as well.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Fri Mar 04, 2016 12:27 am

FoolsGil wrote:
jcogginsa wrote:I'd actually had a few other thoughts about that as well.
I thought his sword could cut through anything that was evil?

Perhaps Tapion could have a variety of Magical items?

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by FoolsGil » Fri Mar 04, 2016 12:33 am

jcogginsa wrote: I thought his sword could cut through anything that was evil?

Perhaps Tapion could have a variety of Magical items?
Tapion's sword cuts through anything and everything. This isn't the same sword and same Tapion in Wrath of the Dragon. And no items. All he needs is his sword and wits. If you're worried about him being a powerhouse, remember he still has to hit his opponent. If he had a ki sensed powerlevel, I'd place him at 200,000. It's his foes' overconfidence that nets him wins against stronger opponents, and considering he's to lose his first match, except for the first hit he makes, Tapion is going down.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Fri Mar 04, 2016 12:39 am

FoolsGil wrote:
jcogginsa wrote: I thought his sword could cut through anything that was evil?

Perhaps Tapion could have a variety of Magical items?
Tapion's sword cuts through anything and everything. This isn't the same sword and same Tapion in Wrath of the Dragon. And no items. All he needs is his sword and wits. If you're worried about him being a powerhouse, remember he still has to hit his opponent. If he had a ki sensed powerlevel, I'd place him at 200,000. It's his foes' overconfidence that nets him wins against stronger opponents, and considering he's to lose his first match, except for the first hit he makes, Tapion is going down.
The issue was more him being too weak, rather than too strong.

I was actually thinking about his loss. I thought if we gave him a bit of a power boost, he could use his swords properties to beat Slug. Then he gets defeated by Bulma (He wouldn't go all out against her since she's not evil) so that Bulma then fights Vegeta, which is a pretty interesting fight in my opinion

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by FoolsGil » Fri Mar 04, 2016 1:06 am

jcogginsa wrote:
FoolsGil wrote:
jcogginsa wrote: I thought his sword could cut through anything that was evil?

Perhaps Tapion could have a variety of Magical items?
Tapion's sword cuts through anything and everything. This isn't the same sword and same Tapion in Wrath of the Dragon. And no items. All he needs is his sword and wits. If you're worried about him being a powerhouse, remember he still has to hit his opponent. If he had a ki sensed powerlevel, I'd place him at 200,000. It's his foes' overconfidence that nets him wins against stronger opponents, and considering he's to lose his first match, except for the first hit he makes, Tapion is going down.
The issue was more him being too weak, rather than too strong.

I was actually thinking about his loss. I thought if we gave him a bit of a power boost, he could use his swords properties to beat Slug. Then he gets defeated by Bulma (He wouldn't go all out against her since she's not evil) so that Bulma then fights Vegeta, which is a pretty interesting fight in my opinion
T2 isn't about power levels and ki, its about magic: I gave you a power level to give you an idea of where Tapion is, but if you boost him to Slug's level, and then give him the ability to control his powers so Bulma can clear him, it goes against everything that T2 is supposed to stand for. And there's no reason for Tapion to provide special treatment: Taking his sword out of the equation, if his power level is high enough to provide him fast enough speed to kill Slug with a sword, he's going to be fast and strong enough to take Bulma down non-lethally, if he cares about her not being evil. Second, if he uses the sword, he can lob off something that will force Bulma to concede, and Supreme Kai of Time will reverse it. Tapion may be a hero but is not being a white knight here. He went into this tournament to gain Beerus' favor and fight for him against Champa's group. He's not going to hold back, especially if the ugliness of battle would be reversed in a matter of seconds.

Now, we haven't gone over Bulma's tech. If Tapion is to be stronger and you want Bulma to win, let's hash out her tech so she can secure a win because she's the superior fighter, not the strongest fighter.

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Re: Dragonball Timestream (Group Writing Project)

Post by jcogginsa » Fri Mar 04, 2016 1:45 am

FoolsGil wrote: T2 isn't about power levels and ki, its about magic: I gave you a power level to give you an idea of where Tapion is, but if you boost him to Slug's level, and then give him the ability to control his powers so Bulma can clear him, it goes against everything that T2 is supposed to stand for. And there's no reason for Tapion to provide special treatment: Taking his sword out of the equation, if his power level is high enough to provide him fast enough speed to kill Slug with a sword, he's going to be fast and strong enough to take Bulma down non-lethally, if he cares about her not being evil. Second, if he uses the sword, he can lob off something that will force Bulma to concede, and Supreme Kai of Time will reverse it. Tapion may be a hero but is not being a white knight here. He went into this tournament to gain Beerus' favor and fight for him against Champa's group. He's not going to hold back, especially if the ugliness of battle would be reversed in a matter of seconds.

Now, we haven't gone over Bulma's tech. If Tapion is to be stronger and you want Bulma to win, let's hash out her tech so she can secure a win because she's the superior fighter, not the strongest fighter.
My idea was that basically even with the power boost, Tapion is still physically inferior to Slug, so he needs to use his swords magical properties to make up for the difference. If all he has is a sword that can cut through anything, his fighting style isn't really magic based. His power level would still be the most important factor there, since if he's not fast enough to connect a fighter with better power could easily defeat him.

As for Bulma's tech, my thinking was that she has a variety of Power armors, each with a different load out of tech.

Against Mecha Kid Goku, she uses one with Gravity manipulation powers, and high defense capabilities. She uses the fluctuations in Gravity to cause Mecha Kid Goku to malfunction, and get granted the Victory that way.

Against Tapion, she'd use her standard armor, which is strong enough for her to beat Tapion assuming she manages to avoid his sword.

Against Slug, the only armor she has that could do any damage to him is also too slow to hit him, so she can't beat him

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