General Fan Fiction Thread

[ekrolo2]

For shits and giggles, I've been thinking about how you could execute a plausible Goten becoming a more antagonistic or at least morally gray character without the whole thing being "I was the looked over kid of the family!". I don't know if I'll ever get around to actually writing this but here's what I got anyway.

[spoiler]So, it would begin shortly after the 28th Budokai, it's the end of Goten's third year at Orange Star High and Trunks' last before he goes on to college where he'll take courses to prepare him for his future position as head of Capsule Corp, a fact he's been taking very seriously. Goten's been dreading this as he won't be with his best friend for a whole nother year and probably won't get good enough test scores to go to the same college either. He's more interested in chasing skirts than studying and now he feels like that's come back to bite him in the ass. Then, he has an idea: make the most of this last summer before they start drifting apart.

Goten proposes to Trunks then to their parents about the two of them going on a summer-long road trip through space where they can meet all sorts of cool alien shit, go on crazy parties and adventures and live the good life as much as they can before responsibilities make everything boring again. Their folks agree and Bulma builds them a spaceship with lots of capsules to keep them fed and clothed properly. On the way through space, they stumble across Jaco who's being pursued by ships belonging to Freeza's Empire and they help him out. They take Jaco aboard and he tells them about the situation in the galaxy.

Freeza's Empire has been on a perpetual decline after his death and it got so bad that the Galactic Patrol started to openly oppose them with how their forces strength started dwindling to Resurrection F tier grunts. For a long time, they were succeeding but the appearance of Abo and Kado recruited about two years ago turned the tide around, now the Galactic Patrol are on the run. It's also revealed that Sorbet was once in charge of the Empire once Freeza left but he's been brought down to a basically meaningless advisory position by the brothers who're now the new Freeza's of the galaxy.Goten decides to get involved, thinking this is a perfect way to have a damn good time for summer, Trunks eventually agrees.

The two proceed to quickly make names for themselves in service to the Patrol, becoming basically rock stars across the whole universe for effortlessly defeating even the best of the Freeza Empire with absolute ease. They drink, go to parties, make out with hot alien chicks and just have a damn good time as all teens would when they're not kicking imperial ass. They eventually meet up with Abo & Kado and kick their asses, forcing the two to scamper off, Trunks suggests they chase them down but Goten isn't bothered by it, saying they'll find them soon enough and leaves without even taking them prisoners, somewhat to Trunks' chagrin.

Meanwhile, Sorbet, who got a good taste of power and was infuriated by it being stolen away by the brothers, especially because he's who helped keep the Empire together while they were off chasing some rumor about Vegeta's brother. It's around this time that one of few the soldiers still loyal to him, Tagoma, an undercover operative in the Galactic Patrol, finally discovers a side objective Sorbet was looking for, an old weapon rumored to be able to wipe out an entire planet's population by forcibly syphoning its spiritual and life energy into a singular orb before detonating it like a bomb, leaving the planet a barren rock (think the thought bomb from Star Wars mixed in with the Spirit Bomb).

Sensing an opportunity with this discover and Abo & Kado's wounded pride making them reckless, Sorbet suggests that Abo & Kado challenge Goten and Trunks to a big spectacle fight to decide the fate of the whole universe. When the two ask him how he intends for them to win, Sorbet twists the story of the bomb into being a strength enhancing device, something that'll absorb all the power of the planet they're fighting on and its people to dramatically increase Abo & Kado's powers. Ordinarily, they'd be more suspicious but they're wounded prides clouding their better judgment so they agree.

Goten is all for this fight, saying they should do it on the capital world of the Galactic Patrol so the whole universe can see and he starts doing Mister Satan-esque shit where he's making sponsorship deals, doing commercials, talk show interviews, Trunks being somewhat more responsible is initially skeptical but Goten uses the ol "C'mon man! Live a little! You're gonna be a soulless suit pretty soon! Make the most of the freedom you've got left!" and so, the fight is on.

Millions of people gather as expected not only in the arena but on the planet in general and everyone's eagerly expecting a resounding win by Goten and Trunks, the super starts of the Galactic Patrol. Then, everything goes wrong. Sorbet, placing the siphoning bomb somewhere on the surface activates it and the effect is expected, millions of people are drained into ash along with Abo & Kado who curse Sorbet with their last breaths. Goten can feel himself slipping and then falls unconscious when he wakes up, everyone is gone. He desperately looks for ki signatures, especially Trunks' but can't find anything, then he remembers how Trunks, creating a Super Saiyan powered energy bubble, took the brunt of the syphoning effect and basically sacrificed himself to save Goten, as you'd expect, Goten doesn't take this well and his anger at himself and the Empire lets him ascend to Super Saiyan 2.

Goten tries to find a way off the planet but the bomb had an unintended side effect in that it killed all the electronics, leaving him trapped with no way of getting out, he even tries to power up so someone on Earth might pick up on his ki but no one does, he's not strong enough and so he laments the fact he didn't train when he had the chance. He realizes he could've gotten to a level greater than his dad at least and with it, tip his friends & family off that something's not right.

Eventually, an unknown man arrives to the planet and Goten tries to steal his ship only for the cockpit to suddenly fill with a powerful, paralyzing gas which leaves him at the mercy of his host. The man reveals himself to be Ledgic, a swordsman who once tried to avenge his species by killing Freeza. He reveals to Goten how he trained diligently for decades, managing to attain a power level of over 1 million and forced Freeza to use his second form (this is where Freeza's "last time I clocked this form!" comment comes from), but once Freeza brought out his higher levels of strength, Ledgic was defeated and barely survived, his spirit broken by the insummountable gap between himself and his adversary. A spirit which further diminished when he learned someone else had defeated Freeza, the Legendary Super Saiyan.

On the outskirts of civilizations, Ledgic learned of not one but two Super Saiyan's destroying the Empire and this got Ledgic's interest but he was disappointed to find out they were both bragart little children. He, along with most of the galaxy, watched the big spectacle fight and was intrigued by the planet suddenly vanishing, Sorbet's accompanying footage of everyone dying only helped cement this. When asked by Goten on what exactly happened, Ledgic reveals the backstory of the siphoning bomb and states that all consumed by it are utterly destroyed in both body and spirit, that it was science made by an old civilization who mastered ki to its fullest possible extent.

Goten sinks more into depressiong, realizing that not even the Dragon Balls can get Trunks back but Ledgic decides to tutor him, to let him transform this tragedy into something productive: the destruction of the Empire. And so, Goten becomes his pupil, more emotionally than physhically and he eventually learns how toactivate SS2 at will. During their discussions, Goten explains why he acted like such a reckless brat: attention seeking. He realized that he could never meet his father or brothers prowess in strength or Gohan's academical knowledge but he was good at fooling around and chasing skirts so he decides to focus more on that than anything else, he even cut his hair when everyone's comparisons between himself and his dad got too much for him.

By the end of their training, Goten has learned quite a bit about swordsman ship and combining this knowledge with his high skill level in manipulating ki, can create scimitars and scythes out of energy, his hair has even grown out to match his father but Goten, for once in a long time, distinctly finds himself not giving a shit. He vows to bring down the Empire and to restore the Galactic Patrol to its glory, to make them stronger than ever before and make sure monsters like Freeza and Sorbet never attain positions of power again![/spoiler]

[Gog]

[quote="ekrolo2"]For shits and giggles, I've been thinking about how you could execute a plausible Goten becoming a more antagonistic or at least morally gray character without the whole thing being "I was the looked over kid of the family!". I don't know if I'll ever get around to actually writing this but here's what I got anyway.



By the end of their training, Goten has learned quite a bit about swordsman ship and combining this knowledge with his high skill level in manipulating ki, can create scimitars and scythes out of energy, his hair has even grown out to match his father but Goten, for once in a long time, distinctly finds himself not giving a shit. He vows to bring down the Empire and to restore the Galactic Patrol to its glory, to make them stronger than ever before and make sure monsters like Freeza and Sorbet never attain positions of power again!


How you descriptive Goten here, distinctly reminds me of another superior villainous character, who has the general appearance of Goku. I think his name is Turles? Did you base Goten's villainous rising based on the Goku knock off?

[ekrolo2]

How you descriptive Goten here, distinctly reminds me of another superior villainous character, who has the general appearance of Goku. I think his name is Turles? Did you base Goten's villainous rising based on the Goku knock off?

Totally, Turles making that badass energy scythe was one of the best parts of Tree of Might!

It's mostly appearance stuff that I'd base off of Black, I wouldn't have Goten try to annihilate all life in the universe, more of him becoming a tyrant to replace Freeza and to re-establish order in the universe.

[Anime Kitten]

Any of you guys make song references at any point, Dragon Ball or otherwise?

[Alruneia]

Any of you guys make song references at any point, Dragon Ball or otherwise?

I'm not quite sure what you're asking. Do you mean like putting lyrics in dialogue? Naming characters and/or techniques after songs? Also, what do you mean by "Dragon Ball or otherwise"?

[Anime Kitten]

I'm not quite sure what you're asking. Do you mean like putting lyrics in dialogue? Naming characters and/or techniques after songs? Also, what do you mean by "Dragon Ball or otherwise"?

Sorry, I should've been more specific. Making subtle or outright references to song lyrics in character dialogue, or even turning a song lyric into a character, technique, etc. And I meant whether the songs are Dragon Ball songs or not Dragon Ball songs.

[Kanassa]

Any of you guys make song references at any point, Dragon Ball or otherwise?

Well, I do have a character who confirms that yes, that fire has been burning since the world started turning.

[Alruneia]

I'm not quite sure what you're asking. Do you mean like putting lyrics in dialogue? Naming characters and/or techniques after songs? Also, what do you mean by "Dragon Ball or otherwise"?

Sorry, I should've been more specific. Making subtle or outright references to song lyrics in character dialogue, or even turning a song lyric into a character, technique, etc. And I meant whether the songs are Dragon Ball songs or not Dragon Ball songs.

Ah, okay. In that case, no. At least not intentionally. In addition to my own Dragon Ball Z Reborn, I'm working on a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure fanfic with a friend, and in JoJo, musical references are in everything from character names to Stand names, so whenever I come up with a musical joke or pun or name, I put it into that instead. Even there, I don't use Dragon Ball-related songs, though.

[Gog]

I have to ask y'all is it alright to give your characters development. Like, just an example Goku becomes more serious and pragmatic?

[Anime Kitten]

I have to ask y'all is it alright to give your characters development. Like, just an example Goku becomes more serious and pragmatic?

Of course! Development is extremely recommended. All you have to worry about is the direction you develop them in, and how you handle it.

[Gog]

I have to ask y'all is it alright to give your characters development. Like, just an example Goku becomes more serious and pragmatic?

Of course! Development is extremely recommended. All you have to worry about is the direction you develop them in, and how you handle it.

That's good to know then.

[Doctor.]

Getting pretty inspired to rewrite the recent Kuririn & Goku filler, it was so much wasted potential. I think I'll finish my Freeza fanfic tomorrow and get on it.

[Kanassa]

I have to ask y'all is it alright to give your characters development. Like, just an example Goku becomes more serious and pragmatic?

....Who told you there's anything wrong with development?

[Gog]

I have to ask y'all is it alright to give your characters development. Like, just an example Goku becomes more serious and pragmatic?

....Who told you there's anything wrong with development?

Well I just assumed that it was wrong to shake up the main characters personality's, shake things up a bit, give them some quirks. That sort of thing

[ekrolo2]

Getting pretty inspired to rewrite the recent Kuririn & Goku filler, it was so much wasted potential. I think I'll finish my Freeza fanfic tomorrow and get on it.

Got any ideas for it?

[Doctor.]

Getting pretty inspired to rewrite the recent Kuririn & Goku filler, it was so much wasted potential. I think I'll finish my Freeza fanfic tomorrow and get on it.

Got any ideas for it?

It's gonna the same general idea as the filler. Goku's bored, need sparring partner, Kuririn's rusty and wants to make his daughter proud of him, they go to the forest and he overcomes his fears. I'm just gonna try to improve on what I feel the filler fucked up on. As in, making Goku less oblivious to the whole situation and actually helping Kuririn with his self-improvement, touching upon some of Goku's fears too, making the villains speak (even if they're just illusions) just to provide some interesting interactions, and give the power-up Kuririn receives at the end an explanation.

[ekrolo2]

It's gonna the same general idea as the filler. Goku's bored, need sparring partner, Kuririn's rusty and wants to make his daughter proud of him, they go to the forest and he overcomes his fears. I'm just gonna try to improve on what I feel the filler fucked up on. As in, making Goku less oblivious to the whole situation and actually helping Kuririn with his self-improvement, touching upon some of Goku's fears too, making the villains speak (even if they're just illusions) just to provide some interesting interactions, and give the power-up Kuririn receives at the end an explanation.

Throwing in 18 and 17 would be good too as they were supposed to become bad guys until Future Trunks & Cell threw a wrench into everything, in another life they recently got a visitor from, his wife was an amoral killer after all.

I got nothing on how to explain Krillin's power-up, it looks like the show is doing that ki-leaking thing again which I never liked. You'd think someone would notice "Hey, we're really wasting energy this way, let's stop!" in a cast of supposed fighting geniuses and experts.

[dbs fanboy]

I can't for the life of me think of a way of turning Goku evil without going the very generic "He remembers his Saiyan programming" route. The best I can do is abuse the alternate timelines to give him a fate that would leave him depressed and apathetic, and he could function as an antagonist that way, but by the end of the story arc he'll just end up turning good again.

I can write current Goku to continuously grow more reckless until he's a liability, and that again would let him function as an antagonist, but I'm stuck on ways of making him a villain.

Make a story where every single muffin button and every single muffin are replaced by cookies, also where bacon has grape flavour.

[TheUltimateNinja]

Getting pretty inspired to rewrite the recent Kuririn & Goku filler, it was so much wasted potential. I think I'll finish my Freeza fanfic tomorrow and get on it.

In less than 3 hours it will have been a day since you posted this.

[Doctor.]

Getting pretty inspired to rewrite the recent Kuririn & Goku filler, it was so much wasted potential. I think I'll finish my Freeza fanfic tomorrow and get on it.

In less than 3 hours it will have been a day since you posted this.

Yeah, don't count on me finishing it today, didn't even get a word down