DBE fancomic: chapter 2 starts (11/20/09)

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:25 am

OK. I had nothing to do yesterday, and I desided to start with it.

This is my Re-Written version of the Live-Action movie Dragon Ball Evolution that's meant to be closer to the original story.

I'll do it page by page. Maybe every week or whenever I'm not busy with anything.

Note #1: I am not a native English speaker. So, excuse me for any minor typos or grammer mistakes.

Note #2: Read it from right to left

Note #3: All the updates will be add to the first post after posting it in a reply

Note #4: When a chapter is done, all the images here will be replaced with a single zip folder

With that out of the way, I say let's start it...:

Chapter 01

Chapter 02:

01-

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 12:44 pm

Page 3

The Time Traveller · Post by **The Time Traveller** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:44 am

It's looking ok so far, and projects like this usually help improve one's art skills.

Also, my logo is looking sexy right about there.

JAPPO · Post by **JAPPO** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:37 am

It's hard to say how good this is with only 3 pages to look at. The art itself is okay, have no idea about the story.

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:23 am

The Time Traveller wrote:It's looking ok so far, and projects like this usually help improve one's art skills.

Also, my logo is looking sexy right about there.

I've been drawing weekly 16 pages ((now 20)) fan manga for a year as of today. So I say it kinda helped a lot

As a side note, I draw with nothing but Photoshop CS2. No sketching on paper, No inking, No Scanning... It's all 100% digital.

Very sexy. Thanks for allowing me to use it.

JAPPO wrote:It's hard to say how good this is with only 3 pages to look at. The art itself is okay, have no idea about the story.

You can go back to my other thread to get an idea of how it will be.

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:35 am

Page 4

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:39 pm

Page 5

I am not satesfied with the crash panel, but I feel sleepy that I didn't pay much efforts to the details.

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:33 am

Page 6

Please guys... I need opinions from you. The artist is nothing without criticism from others

I need your opinions on Goku's accent here. Is it good? Do you think it's necessary?

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:18 pm

No comic this week

Even though nobody cares whatsoever about this comic, I thought I should tell you anyway...

Rocketman · Post by **Rocketman** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:20 pm

SHINOBI-03 wrote:I need your opinions on Goku's accent here. Is it good? Do you think it's necessary?

The accent reads oddly. What are you going for, a Southern-type or what?

Innagadadavida · Post by **Innagadadavida** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:41 pm

It reads like an accent from southern Louisiana. Not a very accurate hick accent in American English; it's way to specific of a dialect.

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:55 pm

Rocketman wrote:
SHINOBI-03 wrote:I need your opinions on Goku's accent here. Is it good? Do you think it's necessary?
The accent reads oddly. What are you going for, a Southern-type or what?

Southern? I wonder how it came that way...!!

Well, yeah... I was thinking of a way to addapt Goku's accent from the original Japanese version... I didn't want him to talk "normally" because I thought it wouldn't fit him and his personality from the original story.

The main thing I had in mind was Goku mispronounce what he says and what you see is the best thing I could think of...

And Osaka's dub voice came to my head while thinking about it

Innagadadavida wrote:It reads like an accent from southern Louisiana. Not a very accurate hick accent in American English; it's way to specific of a dialect.

And it's from southern Louisiana

?! I'm not even American to begin with!! How did I came up wiht an accent that's so specific?!

Rocketman · Post by **Rocketman** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:58 pm

SHINOBI-03 wrote:Southern? I wonder how it came that way...!!

D'aww. Osaka does have an adorable soft Southern accent, so good choice.

And it's from southern Louisiana ?! I'm not even American to begin with!! How did I came up wiht an accent that's so specific?!

South Louisiana is an uncivilized hellhole, so just mangling English gets close to their speech.

Innagadadavida · Post by **Innagadadavida** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:59 pm

Well, it's probably because you hyphenated words that end with "D" and "T." A regular ol' hick accent ain't quite that extreme.

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 8:16 am

Anyway...

Do I keep it the way it is now? Or should I go back and re-watch the dub of Azumanga Daioh and learn more about Osaka's Southern accent?

Or better... read the first couple volums of the manga to see how Viz handled the accents!!

Wojak · Post by **Wojak** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 8:59 am

I assume that you are using a tablet and/or photoshop, and I would like to give you the advice to either draw with thinner lines or mix thick and thin lines. It would work better in fights.
The artwork wouldn't suffer from some shadows either.

Also, a little work on the angles wouldn't hurt either. I think that the panel where Goku takes a hold of Gohan's legs looks too flat.

Interesting doujinshi though!

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:26 am

Wojak wrote:I assume that you are using a tablet and/or photoshop, and I would like to give you the advice to either draw with thinner lines or mix thick and thin lines. It would work better in fights.
The artwork wouldn't suffer from some shadows either.

Also, a little work on the angles wouldn't hurt either. I think that the panel where Goku takes a hold of Gohan's legs looks too flat.

Interesting doujinshi though!

Yep. I use a Toshiba PC Tablet that you use a styles to draw directly on the monitor. I recived from my college and It's very precious to me since I can't find it in stores anywhere. It made a lot of things easier for me. And yep, I use Photoshop to draw... although I think of switching to real manga tools, like the paper used for manga, G,Kabura and Maru pens, ink bottles and all the things that are familier to Bakuman readers.

I'm trying to do better everytime with my art... my art from last year is terrible compared to nowadys...

--

If I have enough time this week, I'll post two pages to make up for the last one.

Rocketman · Post by **Rocketman** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 12:34 pm

SHINOBI-03 wrote:Anyway...

Do I keep it the way it is now? Or should I go back and re-watch the dub of Azumanga Daioh and learn more about Osaka's Southern accent?

Or better... read the first couple volums of the manga to see how Viz handled the accents!!

As a native Southerner, Ah cud do th' accentin' fer ya.

SHINOBI-03 · Post by **SHINOBI-03** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 1:25 pm

Rocketman wrote:
As a native Southerner, Ah cud do th' accentin' fer ya.

You do relise that I'll PM you with Goku's lines every goddamn week with your offer...

It's your choice... do you want to cooperate with me by just converting Goku's ((and Chichi's)) lines in order to make them hick enough?

((You'll have a place in the credits along with The Time Traveller

))

Rocketman · Post by **Rocketman** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 4:41 pm

SHINOBI-03 wrote:You do relise that I'll PM you with Goku's lines every goddamn week with your offer...

It's your choice... do you want to cooperate with me by just converting Goku's ((and Chichi's)) lines in order to make them hick enough?

((You'll have a place in the credits along with The Time Traveller ))

Sure, it's not a problem.