I would like to present you my first and only fanfiction that I have made. It's a little bit crude in it's language.
I wrote it when I was 15 years old, and found it on my hard-drive. I have checked the spelling and improved the English language which it was originally written in.
Take in regard that I wrote it 8 years ago.
Name: Goku and his family go to a Christmas party
Written by: Godo on Daizex forums (by the time of creation, Demonlord_Piccolo on the Dragonball-se.com forums)
It was a nice Christmas day, and Chichi went out of the house to look if there were any new Christmas letters in the mailbox.
She got disappointed when she saw that the box was empty. “Why haven’t we got any letters this Christmas?” she thought. She was going in when she heard a voice call after her. She looked at her back and saw Umigame.
“What the heck are you doing here, you naggy disturbing old turtle” She thought. But instead, she said: “Hello Umigame! How are you? What are you doing out here?”
“I’m earning my living” he said. Chichi saw that he was wearing a silly blue cap and a sign on his shell. It said “Postman”.
“So that’s why the letters are so late.” Chichi thought. “That little crap turtle”
“Hope you don’t mind that I’ve read your letters.” Turtle said.
“ASHOLE! I DO MIND!!!” Chichi thought. “Well can I have them now?” she asked.
“Here” Turtle said and reached the letters to Chichi. It took such a long time for him to give her the letters that she got even more furious. She lifted her hand and bumped him so hard she could at his neck and killed him.
“Bye moron turtle”. She said. Then she yelled out in the air: “Goku, come out here! We have some juicy turtle meat to have for dinner! Bring it in!”
“He looks familiar to me” Goku said when he saw the dead turtle. “Well, food is food, and I guess that the meat is juicy”.
The happy family ate a very good- tasting and exotic Christmas meal together. “You are a very good cook, mom! It’s really delicious. ” Gohan said.
After the meal, it was the mail- reading- time. All the letters were written to Chichi. After reading the most non-important, Chichi came to a letter written by Kame Sennin. He had written that everybody was invited to a New- year party at his island, were it still was warm to add.
New Year’s eve arrived, and Goku and his family went to Kame Sennin’s. When they arrived, everybody were there, except for Chao-zu. He arrived drunk one hour later.
Everybody were wearing a traditional smoking or a pretty dress. Chao-zu was wearing a tiny wedding dress.
After three hours of eating and talking, Kame Sennin asked if anyone had seen Umigame. He had been missing since his first day of work as a Mailman, which was two months prior to the day where our story occurred.
Chichi told everyone bursting with pride about how Umigame got killed by her hands. Kame Sennin got happy and no one did mention Umigame anymore.
Everybody leaved the table to talk and dance and to have fun.
Goku went to search for Son Gohan. They had decided to show their superior powers in a kind of show, since they didn’t buy fireworks.
After a couple of minutes of seeking, he found Gohan and Upa smoking outside, hiding behind a bush. Goku got mad and went Super Saiya-jin when he saw Gohan smoke.
“How can you be so foolish?!!!!” he shouted at Gohan. “Shut up, dad, or I’ll beat the crap up of you” Gohan threatened him. Kuririn came out to see what the shouting was about. “Damn what is that disgusting sweet smell!” he said. “It smells like pot!!” he shouted. “I used to smoke that a lot before I started to train at Kame Sennin’s. Kinda explains how I couldn’t ride the Jindujun.” he explained.
“So that’s why you are so rude, Gohan? Damn you Upa, it must be your Indian shit you’re smoking, you little piece of crap” Goku said and threw a rock at Upa. Upa was very lucky, because Goku just went out of the Super Saiya-jin state before the moment he threw the rock at him. Upa fainted of the pain because the rock had broken all of his bones.
“I’ll take care of your father later. I have realised that I don’t owe any of you two idiots a shit.” He said, spitting at the little body that was lying in front of him. Then he saw that Vegeta was standing beside him with a happy smile.
“Welcome to the gang, Goku. You are becoming more and more like a true Saiya-jin every day.” he chuckled.
“Shut up Vegeta” Goku said. “It was just an anger that rose in me because of my love to my son. I got mad when I saw that motherfucker hurting my Gohan” Goku said, trying to hold his tears back.
“Yes indeed! I would react the same.” Kame Sennin said. “But I know that Chichi hasn’t told the full truth to me about Umigame. Don’t misunderstand me, I hated him. It’s just that I wan’t to hear the truth because I sense his aura in every single one of your family.” he said.
“We’ll ask Chichi, she will probably confess the truth. By the way, we ate a turtle the same night, he looked familia-…..Oh, I know, the turtle we ate was Umigame!!!! That’s why you sense him in our auras!! I thought that he was spying on us at the beginning when his aura seemed to follow us, but I got used to it, but hey! I feel to puke now. It’s said that you grow to what you eat, eh?” Goku said with an evil smirk.
“Lets wish his cellular components out of you tonight. We can use Shenlong like a firework or something.” Kame Sennin said.
“Excellent idea!”. Goku said.
When they got back they saw Upa eating a senzu bean. “Hey, kid! We’re going to do something special tonight, at ten o’clock! You’d better come, then. By the way, I forgive you!” Goku said.
At the entrance of Kame-House, they saw Chao-zu puking. “Kick him” Kame Sennin said to Vegeta, filled with disgust.
“With pleasure” Vegeta answered. Then Chau-zu got kicked into his pukes. “Look at that, There’s only alcoholic beverages in his pukes. Chao-zu, you make me sick” Goku said. Chao-zu was given a special medicine by Korin who made him like the normal, non-alcoholic midget he used to be.
They went in and then they needed to share some stories to pass the time until ten o’clock. It was now eight o’clock.
Everybody realised that Chao-zu wasn’t alcoholic anymore. He decided to tell his story of why he got alcoholic:
“I was sitting at home, like two years after that Cell was killed. I had newly got broadband and took and chatted with a girl on AIM. We became good friends and I fell in love. She sent a picture of herself, and I saw that she was a piece of ace. She was perfect. Then she wanted my picture, so I sent a picture of Tenshinhan.
Well, the day came when she said that she was in love with me. We decided that we should meet at a café. I chose Café Sufflé because of that I and Tien met there the first time. Well, I got there one hour in advance to secure that everything was alright and suddenly Tenshinhan came in. “Hello, pal” he said. I got glad and we started to talk. I told about the date and he promised to sit in a corner and to not disturb us.
Then the girl came. I got hot in all my body.”
“NERD!!!!” Vegeta shouted and broke everyone’s concentration.
“Be quiet” Goku said with a threatening voice.
“Well” Chau-zu continued. “ She said previously on AIM that she loved me like mad. But when she entered, she suddenly she ran to Tenshingan and hugged and kissed him. Tenshinhan got overwhelmed and pushed her away. She asked shocked if he wasn’t Chao-zu.
Tenshinhan said that Chao-zu sat at table five. “But there is only sitting a crying midget there!!!” she shouted. “You sent me your picture, for god’s sake!!” she shouted once again. “THAT BASTARD!!!” Tenshinhan exploded! “Chao-zu is that “kid” and we were friends! He sent you a picture of me!!! I’ll never talk to him again!!” he said. Then Tenshinhan and the girl became a couple, and I saw them kissing each other at the window. Then I went home and took my first drink that would lead me into a deep hole of depression and self-pity. The sorrow was too great.”
“What a heart-melting story” Bulma said.
“Yes indeed” Kame-Sennin said.
“We broke up one year later, and I got a new girlfriend, Ranchi.”, Tenshinhan said.
“The girl that I was talking with on MSN Messenger. Then the same thing happened all over again.” Chao-zu said.
Chichi told everyone about Umigame’s abrupt end. Then Kame Sennin told everyone about the aura-thing.
“Well, we have one wish left.” Kame Sennin continued.
“Maybe we should wish Chao-zu a new, better body” Yamcha suggested.
“No way!! We should wish all the humans that Cell ate alive again! It’s kinda empty here now.” Goku said.
“I guess it’s more important” Chao-zu said disappointed.
Bulma told the story of how she made a new time- machine, but when she travelled with it, she got stuck with it in the fifteen century. Then she made a new one there and travelled away in front of everyone’s eyes. Some of them thought that she was lying all the time.
“Well let’s wish!” Kame Sennin said.
They wished all the things they had decided, and everyone got happy. They buried Umigame’s body and celebrated for a while. Then midnight came, and everyone celebrated the new-year, Kame Sennin the new year without Umigame and pichi-pichi.
Goku promised to be kind at the new year, and the rest too exept Yamcha who promised to marry his new girlfriend. Tenshinhan made the same promise and Kuririn to get a baby with C18.
They started to tell jokes. Chao-zu started first:
“Do you know what happens when an elephant and a human get crossed with eachother? You get an ELEHUMAN!!!!BWAPWHAAHAAAAHAAAAPWHAAAAA!!!!”
“I liked him better when he was alcoholic” Vegeta said.
“Let’s make the boys have some fun” Bulma said. “Kick the crap out of him”.
And so did the new year’s eve end at Kame-House...
And later that year the doctor's found a malignant brain tumor in Goku's brain.
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Comments? Thoughts? Any comments on my mental status as a 15 year old?
I have to add that I still find it funny. I have a sick sense of humor.
