Feedback

Discussion regarding the entirety of the franchise in a general (meta) sense, including such aspects as: production, trends, merchandise, fan culture, and more.

Moderators: Kanzenshuu Staff, General Help

User avatar
Dayspring
Kicks it Old-School
Posts: 7753
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 6:00 pm
Location: Quebec, Canada

Feedback

Post by Dayspring » Mon Feb 16, 2004 10:20 pm

This is from the Legendary Super Saiyan fic I'm writing. I've been thinking of changing up the description of Vegeta later on when a ten-fifteen year period passes during a campaign with Freeza's race. Vegeta's changed so much (he couldn't massacre the race because a) they're 00ber strong and b) Freeza's home world is 10x Vegeta's gravity) that Kakarotto no longer recognizes him. Note that the "Bardock" in question looks like Radditz. Chalk it up to inbreeding or something.

***
Disoriented, Kakarotto tried to get his bearings but couldn’t even focus enough to see who had caught him. Where was he? Not on Vegeta, that was for sure. The sky was full of clouds but they were thicker and blacker than those of his home world. The flames that ripped at his very essence were now twisting and smoldering in a giant fiery furnace with a volume equal to that of Vegeta’s moon. In it were bodies of various specious from across the universe screaming and writhing in agony.

“By the Super Vegeta’s tail…” Kakarotto exclaimed under his breath. The sight was atrocious and amazing all at the same time.

“Breath-taking isn’t it?” a deep rumbling voice chuckled behind him.

It belonged to a Saiyan, he knew, for the behemoth of a man had the curly monkey-tail that trademarked the Saiyan race. Unlike any Saiyan Kakarotto had ever seen, however, this one was wearing what looked like animal skins for clothes tied over the shoulder and around the waist using what appeared to be some kind of spinal tissue. He seemed to wear boots made of charcoal, but on further inspection it was simply his own feet that were bare and blackened by past burns and calices. The only clothing that resembled anything from the regular attire Kakarotto was accustomed to were the gauntlets on his hands. They were of the same textiles that made up Kakarotto’s wrist guards/gloves. On the backs, however, were the insignia of the imperial majesty, that is to say, the emblem worn exclusively by the king and eldest prince.

This was not what attracted Kakarotto’s attention, however. What captured his stare was the alien skull he wore as a helmet. It was obviously the skull of a mighty being, whose power level must have been at least in the hundreds of thousands, a being of the same race as the monster that killed the Saiyans, a being of the changeling’s race in its transformed state! Through the opened mouth of the skull we could see the Saiyan’s malevolent, powerful face with eyes glaring gleefully at the site of the searing, singeing corpses and the canine teeth of the skull pinching down on his chin and forehead. Protruding through the eye sockets of the skull were two long strands of shadowy black hair, the rest of which fell down his back like a flowing cape, the like of which reminded Kakarotto of his eldest son, Bardock.
Captain Christopher Pike wrote:The away team will consist of myself, Cadet Kirk, Mr. Sulu, and Ensign Olsen.
Freeza Heika wrote: for the land of the cool, and the home of the Appule
The Geeky Gentleman: For all your comics, movies, TV and other geeky needs.

Zackarotto
I Live Here
Posts: 2381
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 10:17 am

Post by Zackarotto » Mon Feb 16, 2004 10:43 pm

Kakarotto's oldest son is Bardock? I'm not quite sure I follow... That's some great writing, though.

Heh heh... Textile is the font I'm using for the Dragonfall translaton... Dammit, I can't get that out of my head!

User avatar
Dayspring
Kicks it Old-School
Posts: 7753
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 6:00 pm
Location: Quebec, Canada

Post by Dayspring » Mon Feb 16, 2004 10:47 pm

Tradition will follow that Bardock and Kakarotto will be popular names in that family tree (like Henry and Richard in English medieval royalty). Bardock was Kakarotto's brother, killed by Vegeta in chapter 2, remember?

...Unless I fucked up and Bardock's the main chara and Kakarotto's the dead brother... :shock: See what the IB's done to me?!
Captain Christopher Pike wrote:The away team will consist of myself, Cadet Kirk, Mr. Sulu, and Ensign Olsen.
Freeza Heika wrote: for the land of the cool, and the home of the Appule
The Geeky Gentleman: For all your comics, movies, TV and other geeky needs.

Zackarotto
I Live Here
Posts: 2381
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 10:17 am

Post by Zackarotto » Mon Feb 16, 2004 10:53 pm

Oh. So... none of them are actual characters we know from Dragonball Z?

User avatar
Jerseymilk
Born 'n Bred Here
Posts: 5477
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 2:01 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Post by Jerseymilk » Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:17 pm

No, Dayspring's writing about Vegita's and Goku's ancestors, the first Vegita that was the legendary Super Saiyajin.

Dayspring:"By the Super Vegeta's tail..." Ha ha, I love it! Really nice, vivid description of Vegita. Spinal tissue around the waist huh? Boy, your Saiyajins recycle everything don't they? :P It's still keeping my interest. 8)

User avatar
Dayspring
Kicks it Old-School
Posts: 7753
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 6:00 pm
Location: Quebec, Canada

Post by Dayspring » Tue Feb 17, 2004 8:52 am

Woopsy. It was originally "By the Super Saiyan's Tail", but Kakarotto already met said SSJ so I wanted to change it to "By Vegeta's Tail". I might keep that as "By Super Vegeta's Tail" though. Which do you think is best?
Captain Christopher Pike wrote:The away team will consist of myself, Cadet Kirk, Mr. Sulu, and Ensign Olsen.
Freeza Heika wrote: for the land of the cool, and the home of the Appule
The Geeky Gentleman: For all your comics, movies, TV and other geeky needs.

Zackarotto
I Live Here
Posts: 2381
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 10:17 am

Post by Zackarotto » Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:02 pm

Maybe "Vegeta's Tail". I don't know, "Super Vegeta's Tail" sounds a little weird to me. It's good either way, though. I can see how you wouldn't want "Super Saiyan's Tail".

User avatar
Jerseymilk
Born 'n Bred Here
Posts: 5477
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 2:01 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Post by Jerseymilk » Tue Feb 17, 2004 4:58 pm

No I think "By Vegeta's Tail" sounds the most believable. "By Super Vegeta's Tail" is a bit of a mouthful. 8)

Post Reply