Fanmanga - DB Reborn

Titan · Post by **Titan** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 2:54 pm

A friend has sent me a link about this fan manga.I wonder if anyone knows anything about this.

http://dragonballreborn.tk/ then go to dbr english above.

dbgtFO · Post by **dbgtFO** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:58 pm

Was it piratesourcil, who made this?

Titan · Post by **Titan** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:01 pm

dbgtFO wrote:Was it piratesourcil, who made this?

I have no idea,but this story was very cool so far.

Scarz · Post by **Scarz** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:22 pm

After reading the title I thought it was going to be a silly crossover between Dragon Ball and Hitman Reborn. Now that I know its not it's time to take out the ol' skeptical microscope and criticize the hell out of it. I'll judge this one chapter at a time since there are only 5:

Chapter 1: The first thing I noticed on the cover are two original female characters, one has quite a chest on her. The second thing I noticed is the art which is not awful but some of it looks traced or at least copied. Third, Piccolo is winking *shudders*, and finally Yamcha and Tienshinhan seems really close if you get my meaning.

The first few pages we get Goku training Uub which was okay but I was quickly lost interest. That was until I saw Tienshinhan and Piccolo training in the time chamber. Hell yes! Show some love for the lesser characters and you instantly have my respect.

Chapter 2: More Piccolo and Tienshinhan training, awesome. And Trunks from the future shows up, even more awesome but I can't help but feel that he only there for fanservice. Hopefully he has some greater role in the story other than "Look, it's future Trunks! Isn't he cool!"

Chapter 3: What is Bra wearing? A tank top and booty shorts? Still it's three times better than what she wore in GT. Anyway Future Trunks meets his "family" and he also has a son. I wonder who the mother is? I hope she's hot.

In the same chapter Krillin is training with his daughter Marron. Wait? What? Why? Did we really need another strong female character in the DB universe. Okay, maybe we do but Marron? Why her? Why make her into this badass female fighter with large tits.... Oh ho ho ho.

Tenkaichi budokai is coming up and Trunks is going to participate (Hey, different fighters from all around the world and different universes are going to participate in tournament? That sounds like... Nah.)

Meanwhile Piccolo is telling Tien about some vision he's having about the universe being engulfed by smoke monster from Lost or something like that. Blah, blah, blah, Let's get to the fights already!

Chapter 4: First thought, who the hell is this guy and why should I care? Second thought, who the hell is this chick and why does she look like Raditz with tits? Oh god, she better not be a fucking saiyan.

Everyone gathers at the tournament and... Wait is that girl in the pink shirt supposed to be Videl? What's up with her hair? And hey look it's Zarbon's long lost sister!

Chapter 5: I have to admit this page made me laugh. Well done good sir. Everyone, of course, passes through the preliminary rounds with ease, Uub explains his training, and Trunks and Goten gets a hard on after seeing Marron in what can only be described as a sexier version of Goku's gi.

Overall I can't say that this fanmanga is great and I can't even say it's god awful. In fact I found it extremely amusing for all the wrong reasons. This might sound odd coming from me but the creator needs to chill with the fanservice. I like large breasts just as much as the next guy but when it feels like you're drawing them just to get some fans, it's not going to work (or it will work who knows?).

I'll give the creator one thing though, unlike DB Multiverse, DB AF, and DB Universe F, he/she seems to be building up to a greater plot. It seems to me that it's not going to be just fights for a hundred chapters or long drawn out conversations between siblings. Something going to happen and it might be interesting. But then again maybe I'm giving this manga too much credit.

Piccolo Daimao · Post by **Piccolo Daimao** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:51 pm

For some reason, I can't find Chapter 1.

dbgtFO · Post by **dbgtFO** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:59 pm

Piccolo Daimao wrote:For some reason, I can't find Chapter 1.

Point your mouse at the red box I pointed out(obviously there's no red box on the actual page, it's just my little edit

)

Piccolo Daimao · Post by **Piccolo Daimao** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:07 pm

dbgtFO wrote:
Piccolo Daimao wrote:For some reason, I can't find Chapter 1.
Point your mouse at the red box I pointed out(obviously there's no red box on the actual page, it's just my little edit )

*snip*

I did, but when I scrolled down to see if I could click on Chapter 1 or something, it wasn't there. Only Chapter 3 onwards.

dbgtFO · Post by **dbgtFO** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:11 pm

Piccolo Daimao wrote:I did, but when I scrolled down to see if I could click on Chapter 1 or something, it wasn't there. Only Chapter 3 onwards.

Lolwut?
Isn't there an arrow pointing downwards, when you put your mouse over it?
When I put my mouse over it, the chapters fold out and I can pick ch. 1-5...
That's weird...

2000th POST!!!!!

Piccolo Daimao · Post by **Piccolo Daimao** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:20 pm

dbgtFO wrote:
Piccolo Daimao wrote:I did, but when I scrolled down to see if I could click on Chapter 1 or something, it wasn't there. Only Chapter 3 onwards.
Lolwut?
Isn't there an arrow pointing downwards, when you put your mouse over it?
When I put my mouse over it, the chapters fold out and I can pick ch. 1-5...
That's weird...

2000th POST!!!!!

Oh yeah, I've found it now. Thanks.

And congratulations, you live here.

dbgtFO · Post by **dbgtFO** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:26 pm

Piccolo Daimao wrote:Oh yeah, I've found it now. Thanks.

And congratulations, you live here.

No problem

Indeed

Titan · Post by **Titan** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:01 pm

Scarz wrote:After reading the title I thought it was going to be a silly crossover between Dragon Ball and Hitman Reborn. Now that I know its not it's time to take out the ol' skeptical microscope and criticize the hell out of it. I'll judge this one chapter at a time since there are only 5:

Chapter 1: The first thing I noticed on the cover are two original female characters, one has quite a chest on her. The second thing I noticed is the art which is not awful but some of it looks traced or at least copied. Third, Piccolo is winking *shudders*, and finally Yamcha and Tenshinhan seems really close if you get my meaning.

The first few pages we get Goku training Uub which was okay but I was quickly lost interest. That was until I saw Tenshinhan and Piccolo training in the time chamber. Hell yes! Show some love for the lesser characters and you instantly have my respect.

Chapter 2: More Piccolo and Tenshinhan training, awesome. And Trunks from the future shows up, even more awesome but I can't help but feel that he only there for fanservice. Hopefully he has some greater role in the story other than "Look, it's future Trunks! Isn't he cool!"

Chapter 3: What is Bra wearing? A tank top and booty shorts? Still it's three times better than what she wore in GT. Anyway Future Trunks meets his "family" and he also has a son. I wonder who the mother is? I hope she's hot.

In the same chapter Krillin is training with his daughter Marron. Wait? What? Why? Did we really need another strong female character in the DB universe. Okay, maybe we do but Marron? Why her? Why make her into this badass female fighter with large tits.... Oh ho ho ho.

Tenkaichi budokai is coming up and Trunks is going to participate (Hey, different fighters from all around the world and different universes are going to participate in tournament? That sounds like... Nah.)

Meanwhile Piccolo is telling Tenshinhan about some vision he's having about the universe being engulfed by smoke monster from Lost or something like that. Blah, blah, blah, Let's get to the fights already!

Chapter 4: First thought, who the hell is this guy and why should I care? Second thought, who the hell is this chick and why does she look like Raditz with tits? Oh god, she better not be a fucking saiyan.

Everyone gathers at the tournament and... Wait is that girl in the pink shirt supposed to be Videl? What's up with her hair? And hey look it's Zarbon's long lost sister!

Chapter 5: I have to admit this page made me laugh. Well done good sir. Everyone, of course, passes through the preliminary rounds with ease, Uub explains his training, and Trunks and Goten gets a hard on after seeing Marron in what can only be described as a sexier version of Goku's gi.

Overall I can't say that this fanmanga is great and I can't even say it's god awful. In fact I found it extremely amusing for all the wrong reasons. This might sound odd coming from me but the creator needs to chill with the fanservice. I like large breasts just as much as the next guy but when it feels like you're drawing them just to get some fans, it's not going to work (or it will work who knows?).

I'll give the creator one thing though, unlike DB Multiverse, DB AF, and DB Universe F, he/she seems to be building up to a greater plot. It seems to me that it's not going to be just fights for a hundred chapters or long drawn out conversations between siblings. Something going to happen and it might be interesting. But then again maybe I'm giving this manga too much credit.

Nice review!The variety in this manga is refreshing.
I totally agree with :
"...I'll give the creator one thing though, unlike DB Multiverse, DB AF, and DB Universe F, he/she seems to be building up to a greater plot. It seems to me that it's not going to be just fights for a hundred chapters or long drawn out conversations between siblings. Something going to happen and it might be interesting..."

BTW i noticed there is a new page:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Eghi7MPCrls/T ... Bsmall.jpg

Turtle Marked Stone · Post by **Turtle Marked Stone** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:20 pm

There's mad amounts of tracing in here and I really don't give a shit about this dude's Mary Sue self insert character in the slightest.

Titan · Post by **Titan** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 5:45 am

Turtle Marked Stone wrote:There's mad amounts of tracing in here and I really don't give a shit about this dude's Mary Sue self insert character in the slightest.

What makes you think he gives a shit about you?
What are you trying to acomplish?
This isn't more Mary Sue than multiverse for sure.It is always a matter of opinion.
Anyway,it is funny that i see so many kids talking about Mary Sue when their grasp about creative writing is zero.
Before talking about Mary Sue some guys should go to College and learn about writing,etc.
I'm not saying this because i'm defending the guy responsible for this manga(i don't even know him),i'm just saying it,because some guys are using the expression all the time.

Turtle Marked Stone · Post by **Turtle Marked Stone** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 6:52 am

I'm under no illusion that he does or that he should, as for what I'm "trying to accomplish" nothing really. I thought you posted this here to get a gauge on what people thought of it right? Are we only allowed positive comments?

Yeesh, getting a tad defensive huh? Relax, I'm an adult and I probably know more about writing then you'd like to give me credit for. I know the definition of a Mary Sue and as you said while how one perceives a character is subjective he seems to fall under that staple to me. From what has been seen so far he's the typical "Cool Guy Mc. Sunglasses". He's super strong and mugs at the camera while he has no real flaws and a big breasted probable love interest (that the artist made double sure to inform us about by dedicating a panel to her breasts and ass with zero reason behind it.) I'll give you this, the original character that he has dedicated the most time to thus far is at worst a Mary Sue, I won't act like there isn't better examples of one. At best he's boring and uninspired. While that could change in the future the first 5 chapters didn't grab me enough to want to keep reading. You do realize you don't need my validation to enjoy the story right? Let's try to cut out personal attacks in the future.

For the record I don't really follow Multiverse at all.

Titan · Post by **Titan** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:23 am

I'm under no illusion that he does or that he should, as for what I'm "trying to accomplish" nothing really. I thought you posted this here to get a gauge on what people thought of it right? Are we only allowed positive comments?

I justed posted here,cos it is another fan manga.
I just think your approach was too agressive,that's all.I don't think the guy who did this knows that i posted his manga on daizenshuu ex.

Relax, I'm an adult and I probably know more about writing then you'd like to give me credit for.

Great,we are too adults having a conversation.Hey,i give you all the credit,simply saying that you don't give shit seemed unnecessary.
BTW i just finished my advanced course about creative writing.

I know the definition of a Mary Sue and as you said while how one perceives a character is subjective he seems to fall under that staple to me. From what has been seen so far he's the typical "Cool Guy Mc. Sunglasses". He's super strong and mugs at the camera while he has no real flaws and a big breasted probable love interest (that the artist made double sure to inform us about by dedicating a panel to her breasts and ass with zero reason behind it.) I'll give you this, the original character that he has dedicated the most time to thus far is at worst a Mary Sue, I won't act like there isn't better examples of one. At best he's boring and uninspired.

You do realize that this kind of character is typical ,etc.This kind of manga is for teenagers and kids,i mean the last special about Goku and his friends was very limited as well.We can't expect to see anything extraordinary in this level.
No Ordinary family for instance is full of Clichés.

You do realize you don't need my validation to enjoy the story right? Let's try to cut out personal attacks in the future.

Of course,but i never made a personal attack, i just said nowadays everyone says Mary Sue this,Mary Sue that without any kind of superior degree on the subject.Even Terry gets this kind of stuff on the web(i'm not his fan).
My favourite is George Martin.

For the record I don't really follow Multiverse at all.

Neither do i.
I saw some chaps and i didn't like it,so i moved on.

Turtle Marked Stone · Post by **Turtle Marked Stone** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:34 am

Off the bat I feel I should say I wrote the "I'm an adult" and "personal attack" comments because it seemed you were heavily implying I haven't attended college and I didn't know much about creative writing. (I realize not attending college doesn't necessarily mean you aren't an adult, it's just exceedingly rare for people not to go through that process as kids nowadays where I live.) As for my original comment it was short and sarcastic for the sake of a gag, nothing personal.

The thing is his character doesn't really have anything at all appealing about him. That's what I meant by boring and uninspired. He has no real positive traits or anything to latch onto. He seems exceedingly stoic. It's like Goku or Gohan stripped of any endearing qualities they may have had. It's not like I'm expecting deep characterization, I wouldn't be a fan of Dragon Ball if I was.

Titan · Post by **Titan** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:43 am

Off the bat I feel I should say I wrote the "I'm an adult" and "personal attack" comments because it seemed you were heavily implying I haven't attended college and I didn't know much about creative writing.

No,no,that wasn't my intention at all.

As for my original comment it was short and sarcastic for the sake of a gag, nothing personal.

Sure.

Great Saiyaman I · Post by **Great Saiyaman I** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:56 am

Hey, now that you finished that course on Creative Writing, you could work on grammar next!

But seriously, are you trying to tell me that people who didn't spend several years in college in a Creative Writing class can't criticize a fancomic? Or even use the term "Mary Sue"?

Of course the author doesn't care about him, he doesn't even know he exists. Criticism is not a bad thing, it can make things better constructed and written. Except for those who are so stubborn that they want everyone to praise their work no matter how much of a glorified piece of crap it is. And you're not even the author!

I'm not sure that you understood that in multiverse that it was a parody of those characters, not a serious contender. The new main character ie this definitely is a Mary Sue- based of the author, being super skilled at fighting, and will probably go on to be part of a world-saving deus ex machina transformation.

Saying that someone shouldn't be able to criticize something if they don't like it is stupid. And plus you're telling him the author doesn't care about him, but when Scarz gave a positive review you said it was a nice review and such. Yet to a a negative review you reply him the author doesn't care. He probably doesn't care about Scarz either.

The untraced art looks nice.

Titan · Post by **Titan** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:43 am

Hey, now that you finished that course on Creative Writing, you could work on grammar next!

You proper grammar doesn't do much for your general retardedness. You have no idea how many people on here with less than perfect English speak other languages as their first.
Are you one limited arrogant English speaking prick? How is your French, Spanish or Russian? Do you speak Chinese by any chance? Grasp that, knowing English grammar does not make you any less retarded if that's all you know.

But seriously, are you trying to tell me that people who didn't spend several years in college in a Creative Writing class can't criticize a fancomic? Or even use the term "Mary Sue"?

I won't even comment on this garbage,cos i already explained my position.
Maybe next time, you should work in your comprehension skills.

Saying that someone shouldn't be able to criticize something if they don't like it is stupid. And plus you're telling him the author doesn't care about him, but when Scarz gave a positive review you said it was a nice review and such. Yet to a a negative review you reply him the author doesn't care. He probably doesn't care about Scarz either

I never said that.
Scarz made a constructive review.It wasn't 100% positive.

jjgp1112 · Post by **jjgp1112** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 11:23 am

I'm enjoying it so far, although there's A LOT of traced panels.

Kanzenshuu

Fanmanga - DB Reborn

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