DBFUE (Manga Parody)

[GotenDaisuki]

After reading through the "DragonBall F" thread, I decided "why not make a thread about my manga parody"?

I've been working on this since August and have completed up to Chapter Twenty, uploading videos including voices and music (mostly Kenji Yamamoto's Kai score). Mostly it's an extreme dialogue edit, but there are many instances of actual editing in manga. In my opinion this parody retains the original story but kind of screws it over. If it is well-received on Daizex I will update the OP with more chapters as they are finished, but for now, as a sample, enjoy Chapter One!

Chapter One: Big Balls and Tight Vagina

[Note: Keep in mind that this is the start of the parody and therefore not that great in terms of quality. The font I used for Chapter One is far from professional-looking, but as it goes on, starting with Chapter 3, I switch to the correct form of the Wild Word font, as Chapter 2 used the Bold rendition and not the standard. The same goes with the voices in the video editions. As it goes along it gets more professional.]

YouTube link (with voices and music): Part One - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYF7RYFruV8
Part Two - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG37_ngr8S0































Chapter One was definitely not a great start. We'll see how Chapter Two does.


Chapter Two: Son Goku! Scarred for Life!
[ Let me just start by saying I do not like this title. Remember that I made this back in late August/early September, so I had a differing opinion then. ]

[Note: I did not have a lot of experience with editing the actual panels at the time when I made this. Therefore it may look a little bad when I do, and you'll clearly see when I do.]

YouTube link (with voices and music): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMJvrN0PkCM

















Chapter Three: That's Not a Tit!

[Note: From here on, I believe it starts to get a tad bit away from the main problem of Chapter One.]

YouTube link (with voices and music): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hPI7Xb1gdE

















Chapter Four: Panties of the Same Size

YouTube Link (with voices and music): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sunoBCuClpE

[The Iron Fjord]

Wow, this makes Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged as funny as classic episodes of the Simpsons.

[Pokewhiz7]

This isn't very funny, I'm sorry. It just seems to be, "fuck, fuck, ass, vagina, fuck".

[GotenDaisuki]

This isn't very funny, I'm sorry. It just seems to be, "fuck, fuck, ass, vagina, fuck".

Yeah, I feel the first chapter definitely was not a great start. But I'm okay from where it goes from there.

[Rocketman]

This is terrible in every possible way. While the central joke isn't so bad, you tell it in every single panel in exactly the same way. Bulma being completely blunt about her whorin' could be funny if Goku was just as/nearly as dense as the original and just parroting what his perverted grandpa said, but making both foul-mouthed and overtly sexual tells the joke twice and kills it.

[GotenDaisuki]

This is terrible in every possible way. While the central joke isn't so bad, you tell it in every single panel in exactly the same way. Bulma being completely blunt about her whorin' could be funny if Goku was just as/nearly as dense as the original and just parroting what his perverted grandpa said, but making both foul-mouthed and overtly sexual tells the joke twice and kills it.

I didn't have much of a choice. Diverging from that joke would simply be a fan-translated version of the official manga, which was not really what I was aiming for. It's not like I can move panels around and re-use them or anything like that.
And, also, I think by Chapter 4 or 5 I stop mentioning this joke. Again, Chapter One was not the best start.

[hleV]

It's not like I can move panels around

I'm going through the pain of that in my DBF.

What does DBFUE stand for?

[Gonstead]

What does DBFUE stand for?

Dragon
Ball
Fucked
Up
Edition

[SSJ YUSUKE]

This most certainly is the most fucked up edition of dragonball I've ever read.
Adding a bunch of random F words and sex is not funny.

[hleV]

I liked Goku's attention to the Japanese text, but it's not something you can repeat and keep it funny.

[jjgp1112]

Yeah...this was pretty bad. Over-the-top vulgarity does not make a funny comic.

[GotenDaisuki]

I agree. However, the point wasn't to make it funny, either. It was to make it "fucked-up".
Anyway I do agree that there was too much of the same joke in this one and too much vulgarity (which was actually one of my main problems with the earlier chapters). Now I pay much more attention to the original dialogue and in some cases slightly alter the dialogue when needed. This... not so much. I'll post chapters 2-4, I guess, and if it doesn't get any better from there I'll call it quits for this thread.

[SSJSteve]

Over-the-top vulgarity does not make a funny comic.

Got to agree with this, you really don't need bad language to make things funny.

I don't think this works well because, it's Dragon Ball. I mean, the early Dragon Ball is supposed to be fun and light hearted, maybe because the majority of people on here have read/watched Dragon Ball they're just not going to find this funny.

[Gonstead]

Honestly, if your trying to make this "Fucked Up" edition as you say, can you please at least try to make it somewhat funny so it at least is entertaining on some sort of level.

[GotenDaisuki]

Honestly, if your trying to make this "Fucked Up" edition as you say, can you please at least try to make it somewhat funny so it at least is entertaining on some sort of level.

Yeah, I should.
But like I keep saying, earlier stuff = not great material.
Not to say the later stuff is hilarious, by all means, but I think the later stuff's faithfulness to the original story and closeness to it (other than simply erasing dialogue and inserting vulgarity) could pass for the "entertaining" aspect, but in all honesty I'm not sure I can make it any more funny, which is why I'm not making it a "funny" parody.

[Piccolo Daimao]

Chapters 2-4 aren't funny or entertaining either. Just seems to be more of the same thing.

[Kiddo626]

Honestly, if your trying to make this "Fucked Up" edition as you say, can you please at least try to make it somewhat funny so it at least is entertaining on some sort of level.

Yeah, I should.
But like I keep saying, earlier stuff = not great material.
Not to say the later stuff is hilarious, by all means, but I think the later stuff's faithfulness to the original story and closeness to it (other than simply erasing dialogue and inserting vulgarity) could pass for the "entertaining" aspect, but in all honesty I'm not sure I can make it any more funny, which is why I'm not making it a "funny" parody.

But, that's the whole point of a parody. Taking the existing elements of a work and twisting it around for humorous effect. Being funny is vital for a parody to be successful. If it's not funny, then it's not a parody at all.

[sangofe]

This most certainly is the most fucked up edition of dragonball I've ever read.
Adding a bunch of random F words and sex is not funny.

This was funny to some extent, but it's a bit too much.

[testing223]

I think "shock" humor that uses familiar characters saying "fuck" and "shit" and other swears is a bit overdone now. It was fresh when the internet was new, but that's 10-15 years ago when image macros first started being made. Today you can find "shock" overdubs all over youtube and really, they're kind of boring and played out.

I don't mean to be cruel, creativity is always good, but...this needs something more than just swearing to be different.

Parody is funny because we see characters say and do things they wouldn't normally, but still reflecting the original work. Saying "fuck" a lot isn't in character for Goku, nor is it funny enough in its shock value.