Fanmanga - Dragon Ball New Age

[Malik_DBNA]

One more hieght chart before I get to work on today's page ^_^

Spoiler:

[Malik_DBNA]

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[DBZGTKOSDH]

So, I guess the Saiyans' dormant power is truly bottomless here?

[TheGmGoken]

Ah. I enjoy the fact that power is limit-less.

[KentalSSJ6]

Do I smell a possible next stage of the Mystic form?

[TheGmGoken]

Do I smell a possible next stage of the Mystic form?

Ultimate Gohan(THIS TIME FOR REALS!)

[hulkty]

Another Mystic/Ultimate form? Super Saiyan 5? Some random thing we've never heard of and would never guess?...

[KentalSSJ6]

Another Mystic/Ultimate form? Super Saiyan 5? Some random thing we've never heard of and would never guess?...

I highly doubt Gohan will be getting SSJ5 as he hasent achieved SSJ4 or either of its two grades. My money is on a higher level of the Mystic form. Maybe keeping the normal Mystic hair but gaining the Super Saiyan eyes, kinda like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6i7_uXcBaE .

Though a Mystic SSJ4 would be cool. All black fur to match his hair or even a dark brown like the normal Oozaru or hell, even gold hair and fur, id be fine with either given its properly explained and executed properly.

[dbzfan7]

This page really made my day. I really hope Gohan and Piccolo save the day with a combined effort.

[Malik_DBNA]

All good ideas I have some ideas for Son Gohan and the others. I hope you guys like what I do with them.

[Dr. Machismo]

So, I guess the Saiyans' dormant power is truly bottomless here?

This is what happens when you take GT into consideration

[Malik_DBNA]

So, I guess the Saiyans' dormant power is truly bottomless here?

In Battle of Gods, Bills states that Goku has immeasurable latent strength. Being half saiyan and seeing what Gohan has been capable of in the past, I think its more than reasonable to assume so.

[KentalSSJ6]

So, I guess the Saiyans' dormant power is truly bottomless here?

In Battle of Gods, Bills states that Goku has immeasurable latent strength. Being half saiyan and seeing what Gohan has been capable of in the past, I think its more than reasonable to assume so.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but arent Half Saiyans so strong because they can tap into their human emotions and Saiyan power is linked to emotion? I mean Gohan gets rage boosts so it seems to make sense.

[Malik_DBNA]

I've never heard that theory before, though it does sound solid in princible. It was always pretty vague as to why saiyan/human hybrids were so much more powerful. I always figured it was an obscure genetic mutation found in the hybrids, which gives them extreme fighting potential, but is balanced out by the fact they usually do not train and crave fighting like full blooded saiyans do.

[hulkty]

Another page today?

[Dr. Machismo]

Well, I don't think this will be taken into consideration, but I don't think I've given advice on this fanmanga as effectively as I could. So here's advice!

-Do not revive Goku and Piccolo like how you did here. Reviving them like that kills the significance of GT's ending.
-To reinforce the significance of GT's ending, make Vegeta, Majuub, Gohan, Goten, Trunks and Pan more serious about training and protecting the Earth. Since they should be keeping Goku's legacy and not be relying on Dragonballs, they should be more serious on managing things by themselves. Make Vegeta leave Earth for training at the beginning of the manga.
-Do not kill off Krillin. As many have said, making him as powerful as the Super Saiyans is unnecessary and over the top. Krillin should have as much of a role as he did in GT here: nothing important.
-Drop the Black Dragonballs. Bringing in yet another set of Dragonballs also kills the significance of GT's ending as the heroes should not be relying on Dragonballs.
-Remove Rigor and his family from the story: They are your typical generic fancharacters (they're a bunch of villainous evil Saiyans) whose story doesn't go much deeper than wanting revenge. Their arc is also very weak and lacking in depth (it can just be condensed into "strong guy shows up, beats up everyone and gets beaten at the end of the day". That would only make for an acceptable feature film at best). It only lasted one battle.
-Aladjinn seems like an excellent villain and has a great story. Make him use Majuub as his servant and have him devastate Earth instead of possessing Vegeta. As many have said, possessing Vegeta and having him as a pawn is unnecessary and overdone. Make Vegeta be training in outer space and return sometime during the conflict with Aladjinn. The main fighters in the battle against Aladjinn should be Gohan, Goten, Trunks, Pan, Vegeta (when he shows up of course) and Majuub (if Aladjinn loses his control over him).

[Malik_DBNA]

Well, I don't think this will be taken into consideration, but I don't think I've given advice on this fanmanga as effectively as I could. So here's advice!

-Do not revive Goku and Piccolo like how you did here. Reviving them like that kills the significance of GT's ending.
-To reinforce the significance of GT's ending, make Vegeta, Majuub, Gohan, Goten, Trunks and Pan more serious about training and protecting the Earth. Since they should be keeping Goku's legacy and not be relying on Dragonballs, they should be more serious on managing things by themselves. Make Vegeta leave Earth for training at the beginning of the manga.
-Do not kill off Krillin. As many have said, making him as powerful as the Super Saiyans is unnecessary and over the top. Krillin should have as much of a role as he did in GT here: nothing important.
-Drop the Black Dragonballs. Bringing in yet another set of Dragonballs also kills the significance of GT's ending as the heroes should not be relying on Dragonballs.
-Remove Rigor and his family from the story: They are your typical generic fancharacters (they're a bunch of villainous evil Saiyans) whose story doesn't go much deeper than wanting revenge. Their arc is also very weak and lacking in depth (it can just be condensed into "strong guy shows up, beats up everyone and gets beaten at the end of the day". That would only make for an acceptable feature film at best). It only lasted one battle.
-Aladjinn seems like an excellent villain and has a great story. Make him use Majuub as his servant and have him devastate Earth instead of possessing Vegeta. As many have said, possessing Vegeta and having him as a pawn is unnecessary and overdone. Make Vegeta be training in outer space and return sometime during the conflict with Aladjinn. The main fighters in the battle against Aladjinn should be Gohan, Goten, Trunks, Pan, Vegeta (when he shows up of course) and Majuub (if Aladjinn loses his control over him).

So, besides Krillin and Aladjinn, make my manga into Dragon Ball Absalon?

[Dr. Machismo]

One of Absalon's pros is that it maintains the significance of GT's ending: Goku and the Dragonballs are gone, and so the heroes have realized that in order to protect the Universe, they have to rely on themselves. In the final episode of GT, the characters note this, like when Trunks tells Pan that they should consider this a test. By becoming more serious about fighting and training, they'll be doing a better job at keeping the Universe safe. While Vegeta leaving Earth might be a risky move for the heroes, that's extremely like Vegeta and he actually is keeping Earth safe by training to get stronger elsewhere. When he returns, he'll be a better protector. You don't really think having characters become more serious about protecting the Earth (which they're more likely to be successful at if they train harder) is a bad thing, do you? But yo, don't overpower them. Overpowering characters is a problem many fanfictions have.

Now, Absalon is definitely full of other flaws. But I'm not telling you to have a bunch of new powerful Saiyans (a problem your comic also has. By removing Rigor, your comic becomes less like Absalon in a way ... your removing a mutual flaw!) or bring back old villains or hook up Pan and Uub or have Nightmare Broly (even though he hasn't appeared yet in Absalon), am I?

[Malik_DBNA]

My main reasoning for bringing Goku back, as well as altering GT, was to seperate myself from the pack so to speak. It keeps me different from Jijii and Toyble in that respect (though Toyble is now making moves to resurrect Goku). The Black Dragon Balls were introduced because of the pattern of Dragon Ball, wherein each new series introduced a new set of Dragon Balls (Db had the original Dragon Balls, DBZ had the Namek Dragon Balls, and DBGT had the Black Star Balls). My issue with having Vegeta leave Earth is that, while it is something Vegeta would do, its something that the Old Vegeta would do. The Vegeta we know now, with his development towards caring more for his family and such, wouldnt leave Earth unprotected. Vegeta is still semi-self important, but leaving Earth right after the death of Goku just, to me, doesnt fit the current Vegeta. Also, since Absalon has already done it, it would seem like I'm mooching off their ideas, so that kills the possibility of me doing it. As far as everyone getting 'serious' about training, the only person that really fits is Oob and Vegeta. Gohan and the others have repeatedly slacked off, chosing their lives of peace over training. Though they may train sporadically, training as their lives doesnt fit what theyve been established as doing. Also, as with Vegeta leaving Earth, this is an Absalon plot point, which kills any chance of me doing it. As for Rigor and his family, Rigor was my first and favorite OC, and I'm not just gonna erase him. People also may be kinda meh on Vegeta being possessed, but I have my reasons for doing it, as it sets up things for the future that havent been seen yet. Rigor's arrival also sets up future events, and I have plans that work around it.

Also, as I stated before, I'm not going to wipe out my last eight years of work and rewrite the entire first arc over a few minor gripes. The arguement that its only "good as a feature film" can be made about any arc in Dragon Ball's History (all the original Dragon Ball movies are 'retellings' of whole Sagas condensed into movies).

[Dr. Machismo]

My main reasoning for bringing Goku back, as well as altering GT, was to seperate myself from the pack so to speak. It keeps me different from Jijii and Toyble in that respect (though Toyble is now making moves to resurrect Goku).

The concept of bringing back Goku isn't necessarily a bad thing. Toyble and I believe Young Jijii's stories seem to imply that Goku will return, but the fact that it's not right away nor an easy process still maintains the significance of GT's ending to an extent. The idea of the heroes becoming more self sufficient isn't completely negated there (Vegeta also complains about how irresponsible he deems the others to be and refuses to participate in bringing back Goku in Toyble's AF). Does bringing back Goku right off the bat like how you did in your story separate you from the pack? Well, yes, but not in a good way. As you negate the significance and meaning of a series' ending, you have a weaker story.

The Black Dragon Balls were introduced because of the pattern of Dragon Ball, wherein each new series introduced a new set of Dragon Balls (Db had the original Dragon Balls, DBZ had the Namek Dragon Balls, and DBGT had the Black Star Balls). My issue with having Vegeta leave Earth is that, while it is something Vegeta would do, its something that the Old Vegeta would do. The Vegeta we know now, with his development towards caring more for his family and such, wouldnt leave Earth unprotected. Vegeta is still semi-self important, but leaving Earth right after the death of Goku just, to me, doesnt fit the current Vegeta. Also, since Absalon has already done it, it would seem like I'm mooching off their ideas, so that kills the possibility of me doing it.

Just because every series had a new set of Dragonballs doesn't mean it's a required pattern. Vegeta leaving Earth is not really a selfish thing to do, because by becoming several times stronger, it is less likely the Earth would be in as much danger. He's not just doing it because he wants to get stronger, but so he can protect the Earth. He also isn't leaving it "unprotected", because Majuub, Gohan, Goten and Trunks are still on it, who should all be more serious about training and protecting Earth.He also doesn't have to leave right after Goku does. The comic can start a few years later when Bulla is older. And standing out is a good thing, but not when it makes your story worse. What properly makes you stand out is through the major events in your story, like the villains and their backstories and the conflicts with them and such.

As far as everyone getting 'serious' about training, the only person that really fits is Oob and Vegeta. Gohan and the others have repeatedly slacked off, chosing their lives of peace over training. Though they may train sporadically, training as their lives doesnt fit what theyve been established as doing. Also, as with Vegeta leaving Earth, this is an Absalon plot point, which kills any chance of me doing it. As for Rigor and his family, Rigor was my first and favorite OC, and I'm not just gonna erase him. People also may be kinda meh on Vegeta being possessed, but I have my reasons for doing it, as it sets up things for the future that havent been seen yet. Rigor's arrival also sets up future events, and I have plans that work around it.

It doesn't matter if the characters were slackers in the past. The whole experience with the Shadow Dragons should have changed their outlook on things. Goku's gone. The Dragonballs're gone. If things screw up again, fixing them will be more difficult. All of the characters should mature and realize that in order to protect the Universe, they have to be more self sufficient. That's what Goku wanted: for everyone to become more self sufficient and manage on their own. They wouldn't want to let Goku, the man who sacrificed his life for them, down. And again, in GT's final episode, characters note that they must be more responsible now.

Just because you have attachment to Rigor and his family doesn't mean you should keep him. I came up with characters that I stuck with for years and grew attached to, but I eventually realized that keeping them in serious followups to the official story wouldn't be a good idea. But the Rigor arc could be decent. Here's some advice on improving it: don't end it in just one big fight. The Saiyan, Namek, Android and Majin sagas all had a lot to them (Saiyan started off with the arrival of Raditz. Afterwards, we saw how the heroes trained for the following battle against Vegeta and Nappa, which started off with a warm-up against Saibamen, Nappa going on a rampage and a final epic battle with Vegeta. Namek saga started off with the heroes learning about Namek, them and Vegeta taking off to Namek, a long quest for the Dragonballs there, the battle with the Ginyu Force and a final, epic battle with Frieza. Android saga had the heroes learning of the enemy, fighting with the initial Androids, fighting with the following Androids, figuring out what to do next like training in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, the attempts to stop Cell's merge with the Androids and a final epic battle at the Cell Games. The Majin saga started playfully with Gohan going to high school and being Great Saiyaman, the heroes getting ready for the tournament, the tournament, multiple battles at or near Babidi's spaceship, the heroes going into hiding while Buu goes on a rampage, Super Buu attacking the Lookout, Gohan returning, Vegerot's birth and a final epic battle at the Supreme Kai Planet against Kid Buu) They also spanned several chapters in the manga and episodes in the anime. If your Rigor saga was an anime saga, I'm pretty sure it would only last a few episodes. You can't deny the fact that the Rigor saga is very brief.

Also, as I stated before, I'm not going to wipe out my last eight years of work and rewrite the entire first arc over a few minor gripes. The arguement that its only "good as a feature film" can be made about any arc in Dragon Ball's History (all the original Dragon Ball movies are 'retellings' of whole Sagas condensed into movies).

They're not minor gripes, dude. Many people seem to like your comic, but you know, a lot of people seem to like Absalon. As for the stuff I said about feature films, the same argument cannot be made for the rest of Dragonball. All of the arcs in the manga had multiple events in them. The original Dragonball movies can be considered condensed retellings of them, but that doesn't mean that the arcs themselves had as little depth as the movies (they obviously didn't, which is why they were condensed). Your Rigor arc, however, isn't much deeper than the typical DBZ film as it's just one conflict that ends in one battle (strong dude shows up, beats up everyone and gets beaten at the end of the day. Every Dragonball Z movie has been like that)