Dragon Ball Untold (Sprite Comic) [1-110]

[RockJohnAxe]

Hope everyone had a good month off! But now that my bans over, I'm back and this train is in motion once again! I hope you're wearing a hat because things are about to get CRAYZEE!!

103-105:

Spoiler:

[Dr. Machismo]

Cellhan sounds like typical fanfiction nonsense. And he's just a recolor.

[RockJohnAxe]

Cellhan sounds like typical fanfiction nonsense.

I was going to call him Goclone, then i thought of shortening it to Gocon, then i decided on Cellhan.

And he's just a recolor.

Very observant.

[RockJohnAxe]

Poor Vegeta... just can't get a break.

Spoiler:

[Dr. Machismo]

I was going to call him Goclone, then i thought of shortening it to Gocon, then i decided on Cellhan.

It's not his name actually. It's the character itself

Very observant.

Yeah, that was a criticism.

[RockJohnAxe]

It's not his name actually. It's the character itself

Ya Sry, I'm not the best spriter in the world and I need over 50 different poses for each character, so making my own custom would take far too much time. Putting this comic together already takes a good portion of time.

Spoiler:

Comic can be read here if you really want too. http://www.kanzenshuu.com/forum/viewtop ... =6&t=13116

Time for some more DBU! Finally time for Gohan to shine!! (109-110)

[Dr. Machismo]

Ya Sry, I'm not the best spriter in the world and I need over 50 different poses for each character, so making my own custom would take far too much time. Putting this comic together already takes a good portion of time.

I mean the fact that he's a clone.

[RockJohnAxe]

I mean the fact that he's a clone.

lol, There has been a cloning machine from the start and only now it bothers you? Well things are only going to get crazier, so you better get ready.

All in all, when I finish the series the way I wrote it you will look back and think... hey that was actually pretty decent. (And rather fun as well!)

[Dr. Machismo]

lol, There has been a cloning machine from the start and only now it bothers you? Well things are only going to get crazier, so you better get ready.

Oh yeah I forgot, this entire comic is typical fanfic nonsense. From the fact it's just another Android saga taking place right after the Buu saga to it having an unoriginal recolor of Cell as the main villain to Vegeta being a dumbass in it to the fusion timelimit extending. I guess having unoriginal recolors of the Z Fighters was something to expect.

All in all, when I finish the series the way I wrote it you will look back and think... hey that was actually pretty decent. (And rather fun as well!)

I think the comic's fun to read, but only as something to read for fun. It's still a piece of shit IMO :/

[RockJohnAxe]

doubt it

As usual, Thanks for your Negative and completely Unconstructive opinion.

No one is forcing you to read this comic. Keep it constructive or get the hell out.

-RJA

[Dr. Machismo]

All I said was that I doubted my opinion on this comic would change :/ But I edited my post, so maybe you'll be more satisfied

[VegettoEX]

Popping in to say a few things:

Feedback is going to be given - positive or otherwise, constructive or otherwise - the instant you put some type of art or product out there and then specifically ask for feedback. At some point, you don't really get to dictate which type you want. It's going to just be given to you. I say this with all the best intentions and hopes for you, but you've pretty much gotta either put up or shut up when it comes down to it. If you don't like the feedback you're getting, it's OK to simply take your ball and go home and re-evaluate what you want to do from here on out.

At the same time, we absolutely have rules in place for this specific community about how we expect you to deliver that feedback when you're specifically playing on our lawn.

Both of you, Dr. Machismo and RockJohnAxe, have warnings lodged on your accounts. I would heavily suggest not pressing your luck, because once you cross the line, your entire access to Kanzenshuu as a whole - not just the forum, but the entire website - will be immediately and permanently revoked. Since you're here at all in the first place, I would imagine that's not something you actually want to happen.

[Fionordequester]

Before I put out any criticism, I'm wondering, what exact kind of story are you going for? Just something kind of fun (whether it's nonsensical or not), or something that's supposed to truly feel like DBZ?

[DragonBalllKaiHD]

Popping in to say a few things:

Feedback is going to be given - positive or otherwise, constructive or otherwise - the instant you put some type of art or product out there and then specifically ask for feedback. At some point, you don't really get to dictate which type you want. It's going to just be given to you. I say this with all the best intentions and hopes for you, but you've pretty much gotta either put up or shut up when it comes down to it. If you don't like the feedback you're getting, it's OK to simply take your ball and go home and re-evaluate what you want to do from here on out.

At the same time, we absolutely have rules in place for this specific community about how we expect you to deliver that feedback when you're specifically playing on our lawn.

Both of you, Dr. Machismo and RockJohnAxe, have warnings lodged on your accounts. I would heavily suggest not pressing your luck, because once you cross the line, your entire access to Kanzenshuu as a whole - not just the forum, but the entire website - will be immediately and permanently revoked. Since you're here at all in the first place, I would imagine that's not something you actually want to happen.

I'm going to have to disagree with your post. You don't really get to discipline them for being upset with how other people repeatedly reacted with their works. I have every right to be upset if all he talked about is how crappy my works are. If that's all he says, then I wouldn't want him to comment at all. I'm sorry for sounding rude, but that's how I view on this matter. Almost all of Dr. Machisma's posts on the Fan-Created Works section has been very negative towards the other members' works, which I don't find pleasant to read, and it is getting tiresome.

I would expect the feedbacks to be constructive, explaining why my works are not good, what I need to improve, what materials I need to stick with, what are positive things I've done with my works, and so on. If you, VegettoEX, wanted a feedback and all I posted was about how crappy your AMVs were, would you be appreciative of my criticism or would you tell me to shut up?

[VegettoEX]

If you explained that they were terrible, but at least did so in a way according to the rules that you agreed to... sure, tell me all you want how bad my work is.

Which is exactly what I'm expecting of people here, and which is exactly what I just explained above. You don't get to toss personal insults at people, but you sure do get to criticize their work that is offered for criticism all you want.

[RockJohnAxe]

the instant you put some type of art or product out there and then specifically ask for feedback. At some point, you don't really get to dictate which type you want.

I am not trying to control feedback. Infact I prefer peoples honest opinions and criticisms (even if negative).

My issue is Dr.Machismo is beating a dead horse now. He has made it abundantly clear he dislikes everything about it since I started the comic and that's fine, he is entitled to his opinion. But it's becoming a broken record and he is just constantly reiterated his dislike each post without explaining any reasoning behind his opinions. If he truly dislikes it so much he could of said his peice and just moved on, but instead he insists on coming back every update to post a negative comment.

I would expect the feedbacks to be constructive, explaining why my works are not good, what I need to improve, what materials I need to stick with, what are positive things I've done with my works, and so on.

I much prefer this. True feedback or criticism, even if negative, should atleast give some information as too why or what it is that caused that feedback. As with all artistic work, the artist always wants to find ways to improve and make things more enjoyable. That is proper feedback and something that promotes a discussion.

Before I put out any criticism, I'm wondering, what exact kind of story are you going for? Just something kind of fun (whether it's nonsensical or not), or something that's supposed to truly feel like DBZ?

A bit of both to be honest. I wanted to try and preserve the characters personalities as closely as possible but I also wanted to add some humor where possible (even if the jokes are a bit dry sometimes). I also tried to come up with different ideas to add a bit of a twist to the Story. All in all its mainly meant to be Fun and to just have a good time with. My DBZ knowledge isn't massive so there might be some inconsistencies when compared to the Canon.

-RJA

[Fionordequester]

A bit of both to be honest. I wanted to try and preserve the characters personalities as closely as possible but I also wanted to add some humor where possible (even if the jokes are a bit dry sometimes).

Hmm...I think you might need to work on personality preservation then. Turning Vegeta into a running gag the way you're doing is really not in character for him, and in fact, if he were to seek SSJ3 as desperately as he's been doing, he'd probably do it off-camera or something, like he did before Androids #19-20 attacked. He's also much more callous than he really should be considering his character development in the Buu Saga. #18 seems oddly emotional, Tien being as overconfident as he was wasn't warranted seeing as how Tao totalled Goku so badly, Goku de-transforming to make things a fair fight also isn't in-character for him since it's not something he normally does, and Cell wanting #18 to destroy him so he can't be absorbed...that seems way too noble for someone who was basically a complete monster.

I will say that, aside from Vegeta, there's a noticeable improvement from the beginning chapter to the last, so good on you. Just be sure to be careful that it's the character's voice we're seeing, and not yours, okey doke?

[RockJohnAxe]

I appreciate the feedback, well thought out and well put. I see a ton of flaws looking back through the strips, but I can only move forward with this train now.

For Vegeta I guess I went a bit over board with him. At the time it seemed pretty funny. I guess Freeza/Buu saga are the strongest in my mind so his personally has reverted for sure compared to Buu saga. I don't really like the idea of doing stuff off-camera. I like the reader to know what everyone is thinking and doing as much as possible.

For 18, after the androids aren't the strongest anymore, I always wondered about their past and if what they became really tortured them. I always thought they would want revenge on the one who took their previous lives away.

For Tenshinhan, when he first arrived I think it was just a spur of the moment thing. But since Tao was an android he couldn't sense any power and didn't assume any real threat. He also didn't have a second chance to really change his mind before being taken out.

For Goku, I guess I made him a bit soft, but earlier in the series he always enjoyed a fair fight and I took that into account. He is a SSJ3 now and wouldn't view a Tao#3 as even a possibility of a threat.

For Cell, My view on Cell in this is that he does sort of turn around a bit. The pure fact that this new super enemy was created using him really perplexes him. At this point he would do anything in his power, including giving his own life, to stop this new Cell. (However there is a bit more on Cells moral turn around in the up coming strips.)

Thanks again. I will focus hard and re-write some parts to try and keep as close to the characters as I can. But as things continue, it will stretch further and further from the Canon.

I have Been crazy busy lately and the next few strips are really game changing so I'm taking my time. I also have a new special kind of strip coming, but you will see that soon enough!

-RJA