Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

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Kamiccolo9
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Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Sat May 16, 2015 3:17 am

I've been working on some short pieces where I tell the story of a scene from Dragon Ball from the point of view of one of the characters in that scene. I've been trying to work on this kind of PoV writing for an original short story I'm planning for later, so any comments would be appreciated. I'll leave the characters and scenes a mystery, and see if you can figure it out on your own :P

Anywho, here's the first one. I've got two written so far.

Story #2
Story #3
Story #4
Story #5
Last edited by Kamiccolo9 on Sat Aug 15, 2015 2:14 pm, edited 7 times in total.
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Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by dae428 » Sat May 16, 2015 3:27 am

Welcome back man! I figured you were still banned. Anyways, I'm pretty that its
At first I thought it was
but after reading past the first half it became pretty clear who it was and what was going on.

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Sat May 16, 2015 3:58 am

dae428 wrote:Welcome back man! I figured you were still banned. Anyways, I'm pretty that its
At first I thought it was
but after reading past the first half it became pretty clear who it was and what was going on.
Yeah, you're right :P

What did you think of the writing style? Do you think that would work for a longer story?
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by dbzfan7 » Sat May 16, 2015 6:26 am

Not bad at all. Maybe I'd put in some more labels for the characters and maybe off mention say Goku's name. Feels like that name is taboo for some reason here.
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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Sat May 16, 2015 12:22 pm

dbzfan7 wrote:Not bad at all. Maybe I'd put in some more labels for the characters and maybe off mention say Goku's name. Feels like that name is taboo for some reason here.
It is. I want the character's to be known by their relationship to the person whose perspective I'm telling the story from. Piccolo's content for Goku, and his anger at being forced to team up with him is much more important than Goku's name.

I want to define the other characters by their relationship to the main one. What he views them as is the overall point, not who they actually are. For that reason, names will not be present in any of these. They draw focus to the other characters when I don't want them to.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by dbzfan7 » Sat May 16, 2015 2:36 pm

Kamiccolo9 wrote:
dbzfan7 wrote:Not bad at all. Maybe I'd put in some more labels for the characters and maybe off mention say Goku's name. Feels like that name is taboo for some reason here.
It is. I want the character's to be known by their relationship to the person whose perspective I'm telling the story from. Piccolo's content for Goku, and his anger at being forced to team up with him is much more important than Goku's name.

I want to define the other characters by their relationship to the main one. What he views them as is the overall point, not who they actually are. For that reason, names will not be present in any of these. They draw focus to the other characters when I don't want them to.
Alright I see. Well so long as Dragon Ball fans are the target then I think this works. For anyone else this type of style could be confusing, so it'd be tougher to adapt into your own thing if you branch away from Dragon Ball at one point.
Why Dragon Ball Consistency in something such as power levels matter!

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Sat May 16, 2015 2:43 pm

Here's the second one. Threw in a bit of a dub reference :twisted:
Last edited by Kamiccolo9 on Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Zephyr » Sat May 16, 2015 4:26 pm

These were pretty cool to read. Didn't take long to figure out what either of them were, but that's fine. I think not saying the characters' names really helps place importance on the relationship, like you were saying.

As for this...
I think it works well enough here. There was actual context given from his thoughts to make this actually appropriate.

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Sat May 16, 2015 4:29 pm

Thanks!

I've got some ideas for more of these. I might get another one up by tonight. I've also got a longer project similar to this for another series that I'll shamelessly advertise here when I finish it :twisted:
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Doctor. » Mon Jun 22, 2015 11:44 am

These are very interesting, good job :) I read the first one back when you created this thread but I completely missed the second one. Anyway, this style of writing works well in these scenarios not only because it helps put a greater amount of relevance in the relationship between the characters and the subconscious of, well, only Piccolo so far, but it also adds a layer of mystery to the story, since the audience is trying to figure out what scene you're using as base, although it's not that hard to figure out. Like Zephyr said, I think the dub reference works well too, you managed to incorporate it well into your text without making it feel corny or ridiculous.

When's the next one coming? :thumbup:

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Mon Jun 22, 2015 11:49 am

Thanks! Like I said in your thread, I've been messing around with a few ideas. I just haven't typed them out yet. I have an idea for a Vegeta story, as well as a somewhat....different one for Super Buu. And a few other ideas I'm going to keep to myself for the time being :P Who knows, I might get one up later tonight, if I'm in the mood to finally write it :lol:
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Sun Jul 12, 2015 9:25 pm

Guess who got another thing written?!?!
Last edited by Kamiccolo9 on Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Zephyr » Mon Jul 13, 2015 6:18 pm

That one's good as well. Really helps make his lack of immediately doing that thing (and his subsequent lack of doing that other thing) more understandable.

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Kamiccolo9
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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Mon Jul 13, 2015 10:04 pm

Zephyr wrote:That one's good as well. Really helps make his lack of immediately doing that thing (and his subsequent lack of doing that other thing) more understandable.
Thank. I had considered putting in the other thing, but I did this all from memory, and couldn't remember the exact sequence of events, so I only put in the one thing.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Kamiccolo9
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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:25 pm

I've finished my fourth piece, and it's about as long as the other three put together. :P

I'm using it for the tournament thingy that LightBing has going on, so I'll post it here once my round is up. I will say that fans of a certain evil alien emperor might get a kick out of this one :twisted:
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Kamiccolo9
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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Fri Jul 17, 2015 6:50 pm

Aaaaaaaand, here you go, people. Just in case some of the people checking out this thread aren't also following the tournament thing, here's my first-round story, told from the perspective of a very bored Emperor.

Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Kamiccolo9
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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Tue Jul 28, 2015 3:12 pm

Here's my second-round work, starring the last days of a certain bad-tempered cat-man. Enjoy!
Last edited by Kamiccolo9 on Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Kamiccolo9
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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:48 pm

Just a heads up, I've started working on my next story. Still in the conceptual stages, but I'm planning for it to be much longer than the previous ones. The goal of this one is to make people sympathize with the motivations of Perfect Cell, so I feel like I've got my work cut out for me :lol:

I'm wanting to get a bit of audience feedback, so if any of you have any ideas for a new story you want me to write, feel free to speak up, and I'll do what I can. The more practice I can get, the better my stuff will end up being.

I've got a pretty good reception so far, and I thank all of you for that. It's great motivation, which is the single biggest key to breaking out of Writer's Block, which has killed more than one of my works.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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Kamiccolo9
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Re: Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories

Post by Kamiccolo9 » Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:12 pm

Been awhile since I've updated this.

My Dragon Ball writing has been put on hold for the immediate future, as I've joined up with another project for the nonce. I'll probably still participate in another tournament if we end up having one this month, but the long-term project I've had planned is taking a breather.

In the meantime, for anyone interested, here's a sample piece I've written for the previously aforementioned topic. FFVII fans be welcome.
It's a bit rough, and not really indicative of the writing I'll be doing for this project, but it was a fun little diversion. Hope you enjoy.
Champion of the 1st Kanzenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai
Kamiccolo9's Kompendium of Short Stories
Cipher wrote:If Vegeta does not kill Gohan, I will stop illegally streaming the series.
Malik_DBNA wrote:
Scarz wrote:Malik, stop. People are asking me for lewd art of possessed Bra (with Vegeta).
"Achievement Unlocked: Rule 34"

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