Quarter Finals - 1st KSSTK

[LightBing]

This thread is to read and vote for the story's of the 1st Kazenshuu Short Story Tenkaichi Budokai. Check the main thread for more info, here.

Only one vote for match!

This round had as a theme Artifacts.

Please vote in the following manner:
Match (nº of the match)
I vote for (name of the user)
Input:(Observations, criticism, what have you...)

Deadline 27/07/2015 17:00 UTC
Thank you for voting!
You can check the results in the main thread.

Match 1

SSJ God Gogeta vs LightBing

Written by SSJ God Gogeta

Spoiler:

Launch Blasts off on adventure!

One sunny morning on the beautiful mountain side awoke a woman by the name of Launch. She got out of bed and did her usual morning routine, she took a shower and brushed her teeth and made her way to the kitchen. She was staying with Tenshinhan, trying her damn hardest to get out of the friend zone as she had a crush on him. No matter what she did she just couldn't get to him. She shook the thought of him and his little pale friend being a thing.
She began making breakfast and prepared all of Tenshinhan's favorites.

-Ten!!! Hey, Ten!!!

She called out.

-Ten, I made you some grub!

Launch began looking around the house, wondering where the heck Tenshinhan ran off to. She spotted a note on a tabel and read it. It was from Tenshinhan, telling Launch he would be up in the mountains training.

-Well great... I cooked for nothin...

Knowing Tenshinhan he would be gone for hours. She decided to go into town as she was bored and need something to do to pass the time. She arrived at a little town and went straight for the saloon, grabbed a seat up front and ordered a drink. While she was drinking, at the next table over was a group of archaeologists grabbing one last drink before they set out. A local came up to the group and asked what they were geared up for. The leader of the group explained that they were looking for a lost temple that's around these parts full of ancient artifacts worth a fortune.

-A fortune!

Launch screamed in her head and turned around to listen in better on the conversation. The archaeologist explained that they had found a map that leads to a temple that holds an old idol that was worshiped like a god by the people of old and that it now rests in a room told to be surrounded by gold.
Launch couldn't believe what she was hearing. A temple full of gold around these parts? It's was almost too good to be true.

-If I find that temple I'll be rich!

Launch had giving up her bank robbing ways as Tenshinhan didn't like it, but if she could make a fortune that didn't involve robbing banks, she would be in the clear.
Robbing the dead ain't like robbing the living, they don't need that gold when they're six feet under. I'll just take it off their hands.
She smirked devilishly as she watched the group of archaeologists leave the saloon. she got up and booked it for the door.

-Hey! You forgot to pay!

The bartender yelled at her. She turned round and Stared him down.

-It's on the house...

The bartender said as he looked at the ground trying not to make eye contact. Luanch ran out the door and made her way to a cross road waiting for her target to approach. She jumped in the middle of the road weapon drawn and aiming right at them, they came to a quick stop.

-Hey, whats going on!? Whats the meaning of this!
-This is whats called a stick up, now stick em up!

Launch demanded them to get out of the truck but they were in no rush to do so.

-Listen lady just put the gun...
Bang!!!

Launch fired, shooting the hat off of one of the archaeologists.

-We can do this the easy way or the fun way.
-We'll cooperate, just don't shoot!
-Then get out of the damn truck!

They quickly jump out and as they did Launch tied them all up and left them on the side of the road like garbage bags ready for pick up.

-Why are you doing this?
-Why?

Launch said as she took the map to the temple from one of the men.

-Take a guess, bub...
-The temple? But it's too dangerous. You'll get yourself killed going there alone.
-I'd worry about your own well being, buster. Now shut up!

She jumped in the truck and drove off leaving the group behind. A few hours went by as Launch had trouble locating the temple.

-Where the hell is it? It should be right around here.

Looking at the map and not the road she drove off the path and down a hill

-Great... That's just great. Of all the! huh?

She looked up and noticed a big stone door.

-A door? A door!!

She found the temple she was looking for.

-I finally found it! Now, lets go get that loot.

Unable to open the door she got a stick of TNT and placed it by the entrance.

Boom!!!

The door was blown sky high. She entered the temple and began looking for the gold.

-This place is huge! Someone could get lost in here...

She walked for a while searching every nook and cranny, but found nothing.

-Where the hell is all the gold!?!

She walked a bit more and found another door. She opened it and her eyes widened as she found the room! The room the archaeologists were talking about. A room full of gold!

-They were telling the truth after all! Look at it all!

She began filling her pockets and backpack with her discovered loot.

-I'm gonna need to make 10, no 20 more trips!! Maybe I should go back and pick up those guys I left on the road and make them carry it. And they said it would be dangerous... Ha!

As she was finishing up she noticed the idol on a huge pedestal.

-So that's the idol? They weren't kidding that thing would be worth a fortune!

She ran up to it and placed her hands on it.

-Slowly now, easy...

She lifted it up and looked at it.

-Huh, no booby trap or anything? Figures, its all movie stuff...

She began to leave the room, not noticing she had stepped on a floor panel that caused the room to shake.

-What the hell is going on!?!

A huge boulder came out of nowhere and was heading right for launch!

-Ahhh shit...

She started to run as the boulder was right on her tail!

-Wait, why the hell am I running?

She stopped and faced the oncoming boulder, pulling out a rocket launcher and blasting it.

-Take that!

The whole temple started to collapse.

-Great...

Launch started to run for the exit but couldn't make it out in time. She was trapped inside with no way to get out.

-Shit! Now what...

She started to move the rubble around trying to find a way out, all she managed to do was stir up dust.

-No! Not now! aah-aah-aah... ACHOOO!

Launch sneezed causing her golden hair to return blue.

-Where am I? How did I get here!?! Help! Somebody help!!

Meanwhile, Tenshinhan had returned form training.

-Huh, looks like Launch made me something to eat? It's cold, must of been breakfast. I hope she isn't upset.

Unable to find Launch anywhere around the house, he decided to head out and pick her up as it was getting late. He looked all around town for her but found nothing.

-I hope she's alright, that blond side of her always gets into trouble...

He searched for her from the sky and noticed a group of people tied up on the side of the road. He landed and untied them.

-Did... Did you just come from the sky?
-It's a long story, anyway who did this to you?
-Some blonde woman stole all of are stuff and just left us here.
-Blonde woman!? Do you know where she is heading?
-Yeah, but she's probably dead already.
-Dead!? Why?
-She stole a map we had and headed for a lost temple. She most likely got herself killed by the many traps there.
-Why would she go to this temple?
-For the gold of course.
-I got to find her and quick!

Tenshinhan blasted off trying to find this temple from the air as well as try to sense for Launch. It didn't take long for Tenshinhan to find the temple.

-The temple is sealed off!

He began to blast the rubble away.

-A light!

Launch screamed as she ran towards it.

I'm free! Tenshinhan!? You rescued me?

-What the heck are you doing out here, Launch. Trying to get yourself killed?
-I don't know how I got here. Oh I was so scared but thank goodness you came.

Launch ran up to Tenshinhan and gave him a big hug.

-Come on, lets get going.

He picked up Launch and they flew home.

Written by LightBing

Spoiler:

Cargo's Path

Ten years have passed since Freeza destroyed Namek.

Children gathered around the lake by the village. There’s a huge hole parting the water at its center. A man hovers in the middle of it, surrounded by floating water spheres.
- Why does Cargo have those water balls around him? Asks one of the children. To nurture himself, he wasn’t moved from that spot for nearly a month. Answer’s Elder Moori. He’s finishing training before going on to gather the Dragon Balls.

The terror of dying greatly affected Cargo; that helplessness…
Although he never met him, he greatly respected Goku; surpassing an all-powerful monster like Freeza. So he trained, pushed his limits, many times skipping the chores of the village. Eventually his willpower and drive got recognized by everyone, it was unnatural. He would set a barrier for himself and only stopped once he overcame it.

The water splashed down on the open space submerging the warrior, he rouse from the green surface slowly. On his face a pair of sunglasses he picked on Earth when he was a kid. He also wore an orange tank top and black baggy pants. His own village Dragon Ball would be collected last. So he flew in the direction of the nearest village with an Elder overseeing one of these artifacts.
-What do you wish from Porunga, Cargo?
-New horizons.
-I see, your ambition is selfish but I feel no evil. Since you’re a Namekian you shall complete a task determined by each one of the Guardians of the Dragon Balls. First a tournament!
- I’ve prepared myself to face him. Said Cargo with a smirk on his face.
-No, no. Nothing of that sort. A cloth making tournament!
Cargo falls down surprised, cracking the village ground in half.
The objective was to test the proneness of the infamous clothes beam and originality! Cargo won presenting a line of cute sundresses he based on his Earth experiences. The Three Star Dragon Ball was his.

Five more tasks were tackled; all very different. Including a visit to the village of giants. Finally he returned home, Moori was expecting him.
-Go to the Ajisa Forest north of here, if you defeat Lesma the Dragon Ball is yours.
He was standing on top of the highest tree.
-Hello Cargo, you don’t seem that different. Why do you think you can defeat me? The gap still exists.
-I’ll let my fists explain it to you.
Lesma is a warrior type Namekian, his power is said to rival Nail, who was a prodigy himself. As personal protector of Grand Elder Moori, he’s the strongest Namekian.
-Let’s go down. Said Cargo, pointing to a clearing.
He took his sunglasses and put them inside a log. Both fighters stared each other, while calmly raising their ki. Cargo let out a shockwave, some leafs were pushed into the air, he rushed Lesma, grabbed his neck and pummeled his face with his left fist. Lesma kneed him back. Cargo backed up holding his stomach.
-You have the speed but your power still lacks. That’s why you’re going to lose. Pointed out Lesma while cleaning blood from the temple. Indeed, thought Cargo. A head on battle would be disadvantageous.
Cargo jumped into the air hurling a ki blast, Lesma swat it away immediately defending a kick that came from behind to where his challenger moved. Head butting him with the back of the head.
-Predictable…
While taking the attack Cargo charged a ki attack from his feet, Lesma was dumbfounded and took it right in the back. He got pushed several meters taking down several trees. This was the opportunity he wanted, to have time to prepare his strongest attack.
It’s called the Caracol amplifier, he’s charges ki in his index and middle finger; with circular movements starting from the shoulder to the hand of the opposing arm, leaving a ki “rope”. Then he places the other hand on the shoulder of the roped arm to fire an amplified ki blast.
-This is gone to long Cargo. Lesma talked while getting from under some trees.
-While these attacks are creative, they are not enough.
Cargo had finished preparing his attack.
-Lesma! Defend and you might survive! Caracoleta!!! Yelled Cargo.
Lesma barely had time to react, the speed was amazing. The warning was what saved him. Half the forest was turned into a desert.
-You’re going to need to grow a new leg. Let’s take you back before you die.

Cargo asked Porunga to unlock his potential, create an ancient Namekian space ship (named Snail’s Shell) and finally make him new sunglasses, the last ones got vaporized during the fight. And he left in search for more power.

Match 2

Sun-Wukong vs Kamiccolo9

Written by Sun-Wukong

Spoiler:

A Bitter Memory

The time machine is almost finished. Mom just told me earlier today.

My injuries from the last time I fought the cyborgs are healed, and I feel stronger than ever. Like I could take on anything. I’m ready.

But it occurred to me last night that, if I’m successful in changing the past, everything will be completely different once I return to the present. All for the better, obviously, but . . . well, I’ve grown accustomed to the house the way it is. Underneath all the dust, and in spite of the clutter, it’s home. On some level, I’m sure I’ll miss it.

I start digging around. Even in the living room, it’s mostly boxes stacked up to the ceiling—not a lot of time to worry about interior decorating with those cyborgs running amok. I open a random box and rummage through it. Just full of old electronic components. It hits me even harder: They might not even exist once I’m back. Any of the things in these boxes could disappear forever. I feel kind of silly worrying about that, considering what else is at stake—it’s not like I’ll miss a bunch of old circuit-boards—but . . . I want to make sure there’s nothing I will miss.
# # #

It’s taken most of a day, but I’ve combed through at least half of the boxes. Still nothing worthwhile. Plenty that would be useful, the world the way it is, but nothing worth preserving so far.

Something shiny just caught my eye, though, sticking out of one of the boxes. I step closer and realize that it’s the hilt of a sword. Where did this come from?

Wait. . . . I’m starting to remember. . . .
# # #

Years ago, when I was just a kid, an alien came to Earth. Not exactly an uncommon occurrence by that point. He found his way to us, unharmed by the cyborgs, carrying a music box. He was short and red. Called himself Hoi.

He told us a story, about a hero trapped inside of that music box, and the world that hero had saved. The same world he had come from. The hero’s name was Tapion, and all Hoi wanted, or so he claimed, was for us to find some way to open that box and let him out. Said that if we helped him rectify the injustice of such a great noble hero being imprisoned like that, he could die happy.

It all sounded strange, but then, we had seen a lot of strange things in our time. And we figured if this Tapion hero was all he was cracked up to be, he could really help us against the cyborgs. So Mom worked around the clock, trying to find a way to open the box. We even let Hoi stay in the house. If Piccolo were still around, we probably could have just used the Dragon Balls, but we didn’t have that option. So she worked, as hard as I had ever seen her.

One day, I guess she figured it out. I didn’t really understand how at the time, and I’ve never asked. Hoi stood there with us—said he wanted to meet Tapion at least once, and shake his hand—as the box’s handle turned on its own and a tune sounded from within. The lid sprung open, and Tapion materialized before us, and the box crumbled to pieces.

He was dazed at first. But as soon as he recognized Hoi, he drew his sword and started after him. I got in the way to stop him, and Hoi got away. That’s when Tapion told us the truth. There was a good reason that he was sealed in that box.

We tried to help him, but in the end, there was only one way to stop the monster trapped within him. Mom was busy, and he handed the sword to me. He told me to finish it. To make sure he died before he got any more blood on his hands. Through the tears in my eyes, I brought the blade down on him. It only took one swing. The only other time I’ve cried that much was when Gohan died, when I went Super Saiyan for the first time.

Tapion died to protect me, and the rest of a world he barely even knew. And this sword is all I have to remember him by.

Yeah, I think I’ll keep it.

Written by Kamiccolo9

Spoiler:

The Emperor’s Holiday

I am today, as I am every day, ruler of all I survey. Granted, the land that lies before me at the moment is nothing to brag about. And endless landscape of blue grass and green skies awaits me, populated by those useless green dullards. How droll. Their very presence offends me, and there is no crime that I can conceives of that stands above that. If only I could just rid myself of them.

But not yet.

I need them, for now. The first village confirmed that traitor Vegeta’s musings. And now, I have in my possession one of the seven magical artefacts, these “Dragon Balls,” that will fulfill my desires for eternal life. And oh, what a day will that be! When I can finally, unburdened by the banalities of mortal life, expand and consolidate my guiding rule over the entire universe! Why, not even the gods themselves will be able to impose upon me.

If I can stomach this place much longer.

These Namekians are surprisingly troublesome for such a primitive race. While my elites can deal with them with little effort, the grunts in my army cannot. And only a handful of elites accompanied me on this trip. Inconvenient, perhaps, but necessary. With talent comes a certain amount of ambition, and I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with competitors. Zarbon, Dodoria, and Cui will serve well enough. They have the brawn I require, and none of them are particularly intelligent. The perfect catspaws for this endeavor.

But it is taking TOO LONG!

I’ve been here HOURS now, and I’ve only acquired ONE of the balls! Regardless of my misgivings, I could CURSE myself for not bringing more competent men. The Ginyus, perhaps. Most of my soldiers have proven themselves USELESS; I might as well do it MYSELF!

Wait, now there’s an idea…..

Yes, maybe I should get my own hands dirty, just this once. I haven’t allowed myself to have much fun lately. Work has been irritating over the past few months.

And maybe it’ll be good for morale, if I were to go on a little holiday. After all, we all know what happens when Lord Freeza is….irritated.

I stand, and walk out of my chambers. A peon attempts to ask me what is wrong, but a quick glance sends him scurrying. I’m not going to deal with his ilk today. I exit my ship, and head for the most distant reading on my scouter. The device picks up on Zarbon and Dodoria attempting to accompany me, but by the time they can reach me on their scouters, I’m far beyond the point where they could reach me.

And here we are….

I descend to a small Namekian village. Gods, haven’t these creatures any originality; it looks just like the other one!
My arrival sends several of their children scurrying, and a few of the adults shout at me in the Common Tongue. I ignore them; they are beneath my notice. After several minutes, the village elder finally makes his way to me. He spouts some tripe about disturbing the peace of his village and whatnot. I eventually lose track of what he’s saying; you can only hear these wearisome speeches so often before they begin to run together.

I ask him: Where is the Dragon Ball?

The old fool just looks at me with a shocked look on his face.

I repeat: Where is the Dragon Ball?”

This time, he begins stammering some nonsense about only the worthy being able to possess them. I decide to offer him one final chance.

Where. Is. The. DRAGON BALL?

At this, he decides to be silent, and he stands before me with an obstinate expression. I do believe I hate him.

Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to do my best to enjoy this. It is my holiday, after all.

I vanish. The Namekians glance around in a panic, until they hear a scream. They turn to see one of their warriors impaled upon my tail. I grin has he falls.

The tall farmer to my left’s visage offends me. I tear off his arm, and spear his child with it.

By this time, the remaining warriors have realized what is happening. I start laughing; I’m having the time of my life.

Two of the warriors attempt to overpower me. My first thought is to blow them away, but I decide to drag this out, so I simply lower my head. One of them realizes to late his mistake, and screams as my horn goes through his shoulder. I shake him off, and beckon to his stunned comrade. He gives a delicious defiant look, which suddenly turns to fear as I am now moving far too fast for him to see. I spin, decapitating him with my tail, and slinging his head into the hands of the elder, laughing all the while.

And now, time for business.

I repeat my question to the elder, making occasional glances at the surviving children huddling around him. He’s unable to speak, but he manages to point to his own hut, the largest in the village. I leave them to quiver in fear for the moment, while I go to check for myself.

And there it is.

Visible as soon as I enter, attached to the top of the elder’s throne, is the prize I seek. A beautiful, gleaming orb the color of a light flame, the Dragon Ball sits before me. I take it, and walk back out into the suns. As I stand transfixed by the beauty of the Ball, the elder attempts to beg for mercy. For disturbing my sense of triumph, I expel a wave of force that scatters him across the landscape. The two children stare at me in horror, unable even to cry.

I smile.

Match 3

jcogginsa vs dae428

Written by jcogginsa

Spoiler:

"Dalheyer!" the proffessor shouted loudly.

Dahlheyer gulped, and turned around nervously "Yes sir?"

"Come with me now. we need to have a very serious discussion on what happens when you WASTE MY TIME!"

Proffessor Yonken then turned and walked out, clearly expecting Dalheyer to follow. Which he did. Whilst it was true that the prodigiously powerful appearing porcine was very scary, Dalheyer knew that trying to skip out of this would make things significantly worse.


Proffessor Yonken sat down behind his desk, but despite that, he was still taller than the pathetically pintsized piece of Poultry that was Dalheyer.

"Would you care to explain to me what this is?" Yonken said with umbrage, slapping a stack of papers in front of Dalheyer.

Dalheyer gulped, and answered sweatily "M-my Thesis, sir. "

"Yes, your 'Thesis'. Your thesis where you spew spit at the stupendous superhero of the Earth Special era, Mr. Satan! Based on nothing but a smattering of seriously suspicious sources!"

"S-sir, my research expedition uncovered a series of artifacts that proves the Mr. Satan knowingly deceived the populous about Ki."

"ALL YOU HAVE IS A DUPLITIOUS DIARY OF DATED DIARRHEA!"

"But-but!"

"NO BUTS! You're expelled!"

"You can't expel me for this!"

Proffessor Yonken stood.

"WANNA BET?!"

Dalheyer gulped. "N-no."

Written by dae428

Spoiler:

Goku looked up and stared at the sky above him. It was a pale blue nothingness that just stood in place like a painting in an art gallery. It was empty and something new to Goku who lived under a lively sky covered with trees and clouds for most of his life. He had never really paid much attention to the sky, but having not seen his sky for so long, he began to feel a touch of nostalgia. It was the ideal manifestation of the goal set before him and having taken in that image above a sense of wonder began to cover his face. “Be calm like th’sky… an faster than lightnin’…” He smiled, “That’s gonna be tough!” Mr. Popo smiled in response to the boy’s own smile and replied in a coarse yet comforting voice, “Look at Popo.” Goku looked and to his befuddlement he couldn’t sense anything from the man in front of him. Throughout his life he had always been around nature, around life, but for the first time in his life he felt emptiness. The feeling was a true shock to boy and he could only widen his eyes in disbelief as he stared at the man.
Within a matter of seconds the boy and the man began to converse in greater detail of being calm like the sky and faster than lightening. The boy quickly forgot his original purpose of going to the palace of God. He was just too excited and thrilled about meeting someone vastly superior to him in strength and the prospect of training to surpass himself. Mr. Popo was quite surprised at the instant rapport he had with Goku and his typically stoic façade was replaced with an open smile. Suddenly, a voice filled the palace, “You please me.” It was filled with age and mystery. It was a soothing voice and gave the boy warm feelings reminiscent to the feelings he had when he was with his adoptive father. “Is that?” The boy asked with a quivering voice. “God” the man smiled happy to hear from his master. “I’ll see you right now.” The voice said. The boy smiled. And a sudden curious desire overtook him. “What does he look like?” “Does this mean I getta see ma friends again?” His heart began to beat faster and faster as a figure cloaked in darkness began to enter into the light.
To his shock and horror he saw the visage of his recently felled nemesis. Rage filled the boy once more as he flung himself at his deemed foe. As soon as he leapt, the boy found himself upside down being held up by Mr. Popo. “God not Piccolo. He look like Piccolo, but he not.” Mr. Popo said. God looked stoically at the boy and the boy could only look in shock at the uncanny resemblance. God explained his origins to the boy and once the two had reached an understanding he said to the boy, “I cannot bring back your fallen friends, however I can bring back Shenlong. Mr. Popo, bring it to me.” “Ok.” The man said as he quickly ran inside the palace and brought out a broken statue within a glassed container and placed it before God. The boy looked at the container and saw that the statue was a sculpture of Shenlong and that was broken into multiple parts. The broken figure looked as though it was carved from a basic stone and yet despite its brokenness and humble origins; the statue still emitted an aura of beauty. The sculpture’s design was highly intricate from its horns to its tail and every scale was perfectly carved. However, the boy, not really being much of an art connoisseur, just saw a broken statue and failed to realize its significance. “Mr. Popo can you repair it?” God asked. “Yes. Popo can” The man replied. “Is that really Shenlong?” the boy asked, somewhat disappointed at the lack of grandness the statue gave him. “Popo builds and God gives life.” Mr. Popo said as he began to fix the statue using modeling glue to put the parts together and tweezers to hold the particularly small pieces. “I honestly, had no intentions to resurrect Shenlong. I created the Dragon Balls to give courage and hope to the people of Earth. But people began to seek out the Dragon Balls for their own selfish gains. That is… until you came along. I’m bringing back Shenlong for people like you.

Match 4

Gyt Kaliba vs Rocketman vs supercat

Gyt Kaliba and Rocketman didn't deliver their story's.

Written by supercat

Spoiler:

A Father's Realization

Vegeta freezes up in horror as he watches his son get impaled by the very menace who had been taunting them for the past ten days. A million thoughts zoom through the Saiyan prince's mind as he watches his son's life slowly fade away.

"After all that we had gone through, this is how it ends.." the prince thought. Despite possessing the persona of a cold blooded killer, he still secretly cherished all of the great things that his son had opened him up to during the two years they had spent together.

Burdened with turmoil, he is suddenly hit with a lively flashback.

As the door opens, the prince's heart suddenly tenses with apprehension. Surely it wasn't the thought of having to train for two years straight that had him overwhelmed with such anxiety was it?

As he takes another step forward and walks past him, it all became clear. He was the one yet again controlling his emotions as if they were his puppet. That look of confidence on his face, that expression of contentment that he resented so deeply. Just a glimpse of that low class face, was enough to promote the fear of failure, and cause trepidation.

However, everything was about to change in just two days; as the prince of Saiyans, he shall reclaim his birthright and free himself of the emotional torment that he was constantly subjected to by an unworthy scum... With that goal in mind, he confidently steps into the room.

Upon entering, the prince begins to wonder.. "What the hell is so spectacular about this place anyway. It's just an open space of absolutely nothing...Could two years in this dump really be equivalent to days out there?"

As he begins to carefully examine his surroundings, the only other person in the room with him suddenly speaks up.

"Well we better get started.... Look, I totally understand if you prefer to be alone, but just know that I'm here if you need anything...dad."

Disgusted by his son's softness, Vegeta retaliates.

"Hmph, I strongly advise that you keep your damn distance. It'll be in your best interest boy."

With that the he ventures off into the depths of the room and begins training in isolation.

As his mind falls back into reality, he is suddenly consumed by indescribable confusion. Feeling himself descend deeper and deeper into a mad pit of chaos, something inside him snaps. An odd but familiar sensation begins to consume him. It was almost exactly how he felt when it first happened; when he first transformed. The feeling of anguish, hopelessness, that internal cry out for help in desperation. It was happening all over again. This time, however, he was completely immobilized.

It was as if the ability to move itself had been disabled by all the shame that had finally caught up to him. The shame that was brought forth by Kakarot. The one who possessed the ability to outshine even his greatest accomplishments with his undeserving talent. Milestones that required blood, sweat, and tears to reach, casually swept aside by his natural gift. He made him sick with resentment, and the very thought of him made his blood boil.

But was it really the humiliation that was driving him to the damn near brink of insanity?

As his thoughts deepened, the prince was inundated with another flashback.

Standing around in the emptiness of the room he powers up in anger.

"Damn you Kakarot!!!!!"

As the enraged prince amplifies his aura of ki, the white room suddenly turns into a fiery inferno.

"Father!!!" Trunks yells as he rushes over.

He begins to panic as he sees his father's body engulfed in flames. But as he draws closer, the flames instantly disappear. Before he could even figure what had happened, he is knocked to the floor with a swift backhand to the face.

"What the hell did I tell you about keeping your damn distance boy?! Vegeta scolds furiously.

After pausing and hesitating for a moment, Trunks finally sums up the courage to try and reason with his dad. If there was anyone that was going to free his father's soul, it was going to be him, and he was determined to do it before their time in the room was up.

"It doesn't have to be this way dad... You don't have to constantly live in torment. Let it go." said Trunks while wearing a stern look on his face.

Not quite sure what his son was babbling about, Vegeta looks at him with annoyance.

"Your resentment towards Goku.. let it go dad. It's only.."

"Shut your damn mouth! Don't you dare patronize me. Who the hell are you to snoop around in my affairs hm?" Vegeta aggressively shouted with a grimace.

"This may not mean much to you, but in my eyes, there's not a warrior in this universe who wields the same degree of honor and dignity as you.. and I'm proud to call you my father.." countered Trunks with a look of sincerity simmered in deep pain.

As those words echoed on in his head, for the first time in years, the prince's unhealthy obsessions pertaining to his rival suddenly began to diminish. They were instead replaced by the pain of true loss. His son, whom he had outwardly rejected this entire time, was now gone. The one who had shown him that it was okay to grieve over defeat, while giving him the strength to prevail over his own doubts was now a mere memory that lingered on...

Such a cold and hurtful sensation that he never knew his emotions were even capable of feeling was now eating him up alive. Losing the one person who saw past his personification as a cold blooded killer and who had genuinely cared for him was not only numbing, but excruciatingly painful at the same time.

"Could this sentimental rubbish that I'm feeling be the pain of loss...? Should I at least hold him one last time...? Is it too late to set things right??"

With these questions plaguing his mind, he knew he only had one option at that point. He had to kill the one responsible for his son's death.

After realizing just how much his son meant to him, the prince regains his mobility and begins screaming in despair. It's as if this uncontrollable cry of pain was his soul's way of involuntarily releasing the desolation that he'd been bottling up all these years. From being a pawn to that loathsome Freeza, to becoming a mere second to that scum Kakarot, and now finally this.. the death of his beloved son. Someone whom he had secretly, yet genuinely learned to treasure.

As the golden aura around him intensifies, the prince ascends to a level that he had never even envisioned. His strength must have at least doubled. With currents of electricity sparkling all over him, he was awe-struck by this subtle but new form that he had assumed.

He couldn't believe it, the time he and his son had spent together in that dreaded Hyperbolic Time Chamber seemed to have actually paid off. He had done it, he had actually surpassed Kakarot.

On top of that, after enduring two years of pain, confusion, anger, and even tears, the prince had transitioned from a selfish warrior who only fought for his own pride to an honorable hero who was driven by the desire to avenge his son.

With his body flowing with unfathomable power, and his memories filled with the challenges he and his son had to overcome together in that chamber, he prepares to obliterate the seemingly invincible biological android who took his son's life.

"This is for you.. my son.." the prince thinks to himself as he charges at his opponent full force.

[fadeddreams5]

Match 4: I vote for supercat. n_n


Gotta read the rest.

[Kamiccolo9]

Question, for the votes, do you want us to justify our votes, and, if so, how critical do we need to be? I'm assuming that since one of the stated goals of this "tournament" was to "improve our writing skills," you want more than just "I vote for X."

[LightBing]

Question, for the votes, do you want us to justify our votes, and, if so, how critical do we need to be? I'm assuming that since one of the stated goals of this "tournament" was to "improve our writing skills," you want more than just "I vote for X."

There's no need for a justification in the sense of A is better than B, because. If in a story you see something that could be improved, say it. If you see something interesting and want to reinforce the writer to explore that aspect, say it. Even if it's negative criticism, I believe it promotes growth and improvement. Of course just saying is bad, or that's stupid, isn't appreciated and helps nobody.

[jcogginsa]

Match 1
I vote for LightBing
Input: Both lack proper grammar. Use "" to denote dialogue

Match 2
I vote for Sun-Wukong


I presume i don't vote for the match i'm in?

[LightBing]

Match 1
I vote for LightBing
Input: Both lack proper grammar. Use "" to denote dialogue

Match 2
I vote for Sun-Wukong


I presume i don't vote for the match i'm in?

No, contestants don't vote in their matches.
About the "" for dialogue; I did a quick research and it's one of those thing's I never noticed. In my mother tongue it's common to use the - , although "" is also correct. Thanks for that; you live and learn. Gotta educated myself in the grammar department, in most of my English school years I just got by with what I'd learned when I was a kid, watching cartoon network and movies with subtitles.

[voltlunok]

Match 1 I vote SSJ God Gogeta

Match 2 I vote Kamiccolo9

Match 3 I vote jcogginsa

Match 4 I vote Supercat cause he is the only one I can judge.

[Zephyr]

Match 2 voting for Kamiccolo. Haven't read the rest yet.

[Doctor.]

Match 1
I vote for LightBing
Input: Both lack proper grammar. Use "" to denote dialogue

Match 2
I vote for Sun-Wukong


I presume i don't vote for the match i'm in?

No, contestants don't vote in their matches.
About the "" for dialogue; I did a quick research and it's one of those thing's I never noticed. In my mother tongue it's common to use the - , although "" is also correct. Thanks for that; you live and learn. Gotta educated myself in the grammar department, in most of my English school years I just got by with what I'd learned when I was a kid, watching cartoon network and movies with subtitles.

The dash is used for dialogue in most languages derived from Latin, I guess. I wasn't really aware that English used quotation marks for dialogue before I started reading English books myself and even though I've grown accustomed to it, it's still a habit of mine to use the dash too.

[Kamiccolo9]

Light Bing for the first match, although he needs to stick to a consistent tense (you kept jumping between present and past tense.) Gogeta, I liked your story, but you need to work on making your sentences more concise; it was hard to read at some points, which is a big problem for shorter works such as these.

Got some formatting issues with both in the third match. I like the idea behind Jcogginsa's more, but dae428's is better written, so I'm going with it.

[Kid Buu]

Match 1: SSJ God Gogeta

Match 2: Kamiccolo9

Match 3: jcogginsa

Match 4: Supercat (by default).

[dae428]

Match 1: SSJ God Gogeta (By a hair)
Match 2: Kamiccolo9

[DoomieDoomie911]

Match 1: SSJ God Gogeta

Input: the story just flowed better, in my opinion. Both stories had some grammar issues, though.

Match 2: Kamiccolo9

Input: both stories were pretty good, but "The Emperor's Holiday" took the cake.

Match 3: jcogginsa

Input: I really like both stories, but jcogginsa's was just a bit better. I was disappointed by the ending, though. Why would you end it there? Why not put more? It really seemed like a weird place to end it.

You're story was pretty good, dae428, but I really wish you had wrote something original. It kind of felt like I was reading a written version of the anime. Nothing against you, I just really prefer original stories for things like this.

Match 4: I really, really enjoyed your story, supercat! Great job!

I honestly enjoyed everyone stories, and I look forward to the next round! Good job, everyone!

[dae428]

dae428, but I really wish you had wrote something original. It kind of felt like I was reading a written version of the anime. Nothing against you, I just really prefer original stories for things like this.

Thanks for the review. Yeah, I guess it was a bit unoriginal to just to retell a manga chapter. I was originally going to write a parody creepypasta story about a Red Ribbon Army member who saw Goku as some sort murderous blood thirst killer/spirit thing who was related to the Dragon Balls, but I felt like my writing in it was really lackluster and bland so I kind of held off on it. Eventually I kind of forgot about the story thing until I realized it was due tomorrow. The parody wasn't going anywhere so I just figured it would be fun to go more in depth with the manga and go further into the state of minds of the characters. However, I started the story off way earlier than I should have and I ended up with way too many words. With little time left, I had to take out whole chunks of the story which led to really messy consequences that I didn't really have time to correct properly.

In short, not my best work, but hey it was fun and I'm really looking forward to another tournament like this in the future! I really hope this tournament thing grows.

[DoomieDoomie911]

In short, not my best work, but hey it was fun and I'm really looking forward to another tournament like this in the future! I really hope this tournament thing grows.

I certainly do too! I think this was a fantastic idea!

Also, that Red Ribbon Army idea sounded really good! If we have another tournament like this (or if you advance to the next round), you should really do something like that.

[LightBing]

Match 2
I vote for Kamiccolo9
Input:It was A really fun and graphic story by Kamiccolo9, good entertainment. Sun-Wukong story didn't click with me, the first part felt a little forced to reach the second part. If you had left out a reason to stumble upon the sword and just started from there, it would leave you with more room to develop it.

Match 3
I vote for dae428
Input: I like the different perspective of the already told story; but it was a little too close to the original. Sure, it was greatly described but it felt like the manga with some side notes/commentary's.
jcogginsa enticing writing but you didn't deliver, it felt redundant by the end.

Voting time is ending. Hurry people!

[fadeddreams5]

I'm going to edit this post as I read the stories.

Match 1:

Spoiler:

SSJ God Gogeta:
- You story contains several grammar and punctuation errors, as well as some spelling mistakes. Also, some quotes can be combined with the paragraphs that follow to make the lines more concise. So, something like, "'It's on the house...' The bartender said, overcome with sudden fear." All one line instead of writing the quote, and then making a paragraph below it to explain that he said it.

- I feel several parts could be improved by adding more detail. For example, instead of writing that Launch prepared Tien's favorite breakfast, you tell the reader what that is. Instead of simply writing that Launch took out a weapon, you write what that weapon is and how it looks like. When Launch entered the temple, this scene could have benefited from a description of the environment. What did Tien's note actually say? Finally, it's best to elaborate on Launch's past as a burglar and why she gave up on it instead of simply saying she did, out of the blue.

- There are some gaps in the story. What was the distance between Launch's home (?) and the town she went to, and how did she get there (i.e. Walking? Driving?)? Where did she get that TNT and rocket launcher? How was she able to pull out and use a rocket launcher when there was a boulder rolling right behind her? Was she hurt after the truck she was driving went off the road? Speaking of which, you didn't really tell the reader that the archaeologists went inside a truck until after Launch attacked them. They also did not mention any dangers of the temple while inside the saloon, which I found a bit odd. Lastly, you introduce Launch by writing, "...a woman by the name of Launch," but don't do so for Tien.

- As for the story itself, I enjoyed it. I love the Tien x Launch thing. My main issue is that it all builds up to nothing. There is no punchline in the ending. It just...ends. This sort of tale benefits from some sort of irony or twist at the very end. For example, the blue-haired Launch (the audience should have been reminded of her little condition, btw) digs into her pockets, finds the gold, but dumps it because it's tacky and dusty. Later, the blond Launch realizes the gold is missing. When she returns to the temple, all the treasure is gone--the archaeologists have taken it all. Something like that.

Overall, an entertaining read and premise though!

LightBing:
- You had some grammar issues. Honestly, I never heard of "-" being used for dialogue before, but that aside, there was dialogue of two different characters clustered together into one paragraph in the beginning. That can be a bit confusing to read. Secondly, be careful with your tenses. Most of the story is written in past tense, but there are moments you inappropriately switch to present tense. For example, in the beginning, you wrote, "Children gathered around the lake by the village. There’s a [Should read: There was a] huge hole parting the water at its center..." Another example of this inconsistency is when you introduce Lesma: "Lesma is a warrior type Namekian, his power is said to rival Nail, who was a prodigy himself. As personal protector of Grand Elder Moori, he’s the strongest Namekian."

- Moving on to the story, there can be so much more detail added in so many areas. You explained that Cargo was affected by terror before even mentioning Frieza, and didn't really explore his backstory during that invasion. Most importantly, this story is set up to have an adventure theme, with him leaving his village to find all the dragon balls and overcoming the challenges of the elders. However, you skip all of this. Who was Cargo competing against in the clothes beam tournament? What did they make? What is the village of giants? You mention 5 other tasks, but don't explore what they are at all. I feel the battle against Lesma, which was 391 words, could be trimmed down in exchange for more depth in the areas that matter--particularly, his adventure. Finally, the ending left a bit more to be desired; it was kind of an abrupt, "well, that was fun. I'm out." I'd imagine he'd want to stay on Namek to protect his people. Wasn't that part of the reason he sought more power?

Overall, interesting concept, but feels more like an outline to what can be a great tale, at the moment. I like the thought of a Namekian being inspired by Goku to become stronger.

Winner: SSJ God Gogeta

Match 2:

Spoiler:

Sun-Wukong:
- There was a bit of repetition in some areas. You repeated the word "hero," for example, three-four times in one paragraph.

- As for the story, when we move on to the meat of it, which is Trunks' recount of Tapion, there are several pieces of information missing. You write, "There was a good reason that he was sealed in that box," but don't explain what that is. Later, you mention a monster trapped inside of him without elaborating. Before Trunks killed him and shed tears doing so, there should have been a relationship established between the two. In fact, that should have been the bulk of the tale, in my opinion. I feel all of this went by too fast--Tapion pops out, and he's just killed a second later. I would also omit the mention of a "super saiyan."

That said, I've always liked the thought of Future Trunks attaining his sword from Tapion too.

Kamiccolo9
- Not much to say. Maybe 5 spelling mistakes. But that aside, the story was well crafted. Entertaining from start to finish, good conclusion, and you captured Frieza's character spot on. Nice job.

Winner: Kamiccolo9

Match 3:

Spoiler:

jcogginsa:
- You spelled "professor" wrong every single time. lol. A bit of punctuation errors here and there too.

- I found this to be a cute story. I love the concept. Unfortunately, there's not much substance; it's so short. I could see this working as a small comic strip though.

dae428:
- Some punctuation errors, and the paragraphs should be separated so the entire thing doesn't look like a wall of text.

- The problem with this story is that...it's not really yours. You just retold a scene that everyone on this site is already familiar with. Similarly to someone above, I felt like I was reading the concept or transcript of that episode instead of an original tale. But based on how descriptive you made it, I think you can create a good story of your own if you try.

Winner: jcogginsa

Match 4:

Spoiler:

supercat:
-My main complaint is the introduction. You wrote, "Burdened with turmoil, he is suddenly hit with a lively flashback." The next line reads, "As the door opens..." What door (I know you're referring to the ROSAT)? When does this take place? I feel there's some sort of transition missing here to indicate this next line occurs in the flashback you mentioned.

-The first paragraph is also a little vague. You start with "Vegeta freezes..." and then mention his son and a menace, but don't say anything else about who or what this "menace" is. In my opinion, even though everyone on this site knows who these characters are, you should still introduce them somehow if you're going to be writing in third-person; basically, assume your audience is completely ignorant to the DBZ verse (i.e. the characters, not the concepts, such as Ki and flight, cause that would take a lot of writing). In this case, just make a recount of what's going on (nothing too exaggeratedly long), the setting they're in at the start, and so on.

- In regards to the actual meat of the story, I thought it was really good. A nice, descriptive look into Vegeta's mind during one of the most dramatic scenes in the series, only with the twist of him ascending further at the end. Nice job.

Winner by default: supercat

[LightBing]

Thanks for taking the time to give these detailed reviews, fadeddreams5!

You hit the nail(pun intended) on the head regarding my story. I had to cut down a lot, while I was writing, new ideas just kept coming. I'm very tempted in continuing the story in a longer format, without cutting whole pieces. You did get one thing wrong, Cargo reason for more power isn't to protect others but himself. He doesn't want to be oppressed by anything or anyone. He admires Goku because he's an example of resistance and victory over overwhelming power. I address this in the story.

[fadeddreams5]

You did get one thing wrong, Cargo reason for more power isn't to protect others but himself. He doesn't want to be oppressed by anything or anyone. He admires Goku because he's an example of resistance and victory over overwhelming power. I address this in the story.

Ah. I missed that. That's what he meant by new horizons, and why he was called selfish.

[SSJ God Gogeta]

I'm going to edit this post as I read the stories.

Match 1:

Spoiler:

SSJ God Gogeta:
- You story contains several grammar and punctuation errors, as well as some spelling mistakes. Also, some quotes can be combined with the paragraphs that follow to make the lines more concise. So, something like, "'It's on the house...' The bartender said, overcome with sudden fear." All one line instead of writing the quote, and then making a paragraph below it to explain that he said it.

- I feel several parts could be improved by adding more detail. For example, instead of writing that Launch prepared Tenshinhan's favorite breakfast, you tell the reader what that is. Instead of simply writing that Launch took out a weapon, you write what that weapon is and how it looks like. When Launch entered the temple, this scene could have benefited from a description of the environment. What did Tenshinhan's note actually say? Finally, it's best to elaborate on Launch's past as a burglar and why she gave up on it instead of simply saying she did, out of the blue.

- There are some gaps in the story. What was the distance between Launch's home (?) and the town she went to, and how did she get there (i.e. Walking? Driving?)? Where did she get that TNT and rocket launcher? How was she able to pull out and use a rocket launcher when there was a boulder rolling right behind her? Was she hurt after the truck she was driving went off the road? Speaking of which, you didn't really tell the reader that the archaeologists went inside a truck until after Launch attacked them. They also did not mention any dangers of the temple while inside the saloon, which I found a bit odd. Lastly, you introduce Launch by writing, "...a woman by the name of Launch," but don't do so for Tenshinhan.

- As for the story itself, I enjoyed it. I love the Tenshinhan x Launch thing. My main issue is that it all builds up to nothing. There is no punchline in the ending. It just...ends. This sort of tale benefits from some sort of irony or twist at the very end. For example, the blue-haired Launch (the audience should have been reminded of her little condition, btw) digs into her pockets, finds the gold, but dumps it because it's tacky and dusty. Later, the blond Launch realizes the gold is missing. When she returns to the temple, all the treasure is gone--the archaeologists have taken it all. Something like that.

Overall, an entertaining read and premise though!

Thanks, fadeddreams5!

Yeah, I didn't have a lot of time on my hands to write it; I blame myself for not doing a quick spell-check before handing it in..
Anyway, as I said above I didn't have a lot of time to write it and by the end I wasn't satisfied with it. I wanted to keep going and improve it but lack of time got in the way of that... You made some very good points and I hope when I get some more free time I can go back and redo it and use the points above to make it better.