New Dragonball AF comic?!

[Captain Awesome]

As for the new AF comic, I'll wait until there's a decent English translation out before harshly criticize the comic and the artist's obvious hard effort into making it, because that's just what I love to do. I kid...Somewhat.

I know exactly what you mean, I'm looking at the comic going..ugh bad proportions, poor perspective...yadda yadda yadda.

I'll read an English translation if there is one, but I'm not terribly interested.

[Saiyan-Professor]

Here's an idea: Goten realized he needed to train and...GASP, started to. Considering his fusing with Trunks he may have an understanding of how SSj3 works.

And went from a weak SSJ1 to an SSJ3 stronger than Vegeta at SSJ3. Bullshit.

I agree wholeheartedly, from what we saw in Dragonball Z and GT the half-Saiyans have access to power a lot faster than the full bloods but they lack the initiative to go beyond Super Saiyan 1 except for Son Gohan. Then there is no proof that they could go beyond Super Saiyan 2. Gotenks was unique because he was two fused half-Saiyans and magic was involved. Unless Son Goten was taken over by some extremely powerful being or he was given a Ultimate power-up handout like Son Gohan, there is no way he could ever surpass Vegeta. I am not saying this because I am a fan of Vegeta but because Vegeta has too big a head start. He has been training for over 20 years. As much as I like the Vegeta character and I would love to see him go beyond Super Saiyan 2 even I have to admit that it is impossible for him to achieve Super Saiyan 3. Kakarrot trained in an environment where the laws concerning ki was different (Dai Kaiô’s Planet) similar to The Room of Space or Time. Since Vegeta spent his full amount of time in the room, Toriyama closed the Super Saiyan 3 door on him along time ago. Therefore, if Vegeta cannot achieve Super Saiyan 3 Son Goten or any of the others certainly cannot.

[The Time Traveller]

Hey guys, you know how easy it would be for a non-Spanish speaking guy like myself to make an English version of this comic? Very easy...








There's all of the first Chapter...
From what I've seen so far, this guy's a tracer, but only 3 of these pages had REALLY bad art, and I like where it's going.
I like his backgrounds too, some look rushed, while most look nicely detailed, with characters and such, like on page 6 Mister Satan, Pan and Gill.

Escaru didn't come up in any translations so I'm assuming that's the character's name.

I'm not sure if I'll do any more since it's hard as hell working out the Google translations, I just need a little feedback about my shitty English version, sometimes the translations are incredibly garbled that I work with what I have and just improvise, like most of that last page...

Also, I haven't seen GT since the Blue Water dub aired for the first time on CNX, so I feel like I screwed up on some back story.

[Bussani]

I agree wholeheartedly, from what we saw in Dragonball Z and GT the half-Saiyans have access to power a lot faster than the full bloods but they lack the initiative to go beyond Super Saiyan 1 except for Son Gohan. Then there is no proof that they could go beyond Super Saiyan 2. Gotenks was unique because he was two fused half-Saiyans and magic was involved. Unless Son Goten was taken over by some extremely powerful being or he was given a Ultimate power-up handout like Son Gohan, there is no way he could ever surpass Vegeta. I am not saying this because I am a fan of Vegeta but because Vegeta has too big a head start. He has been training for over 20 years. As much as I like the Vegeta character and I would love to see him go beyond Super Saiyan 2 even I have to admit that it is impossible for him to achieve Super Saiyan 3. Kakarrot trained in an environment where the laws concerning ki was different (Dai Kaiô’s Planet) similar to The Room of Space or Time. Since Vegeta spent his full amount of time in the room, Toriyama closed the Super Saiyan 3 door on him along time ago. Therefore, if Vegeta cannot achieve Super Saiyan 3 Son Goten or any of the others certainly cannot.

Saiyajin stay young longer than humans to stay in their prime and fight for longer, but even they will eventually hit their peak. How old is Vegeta after GT, anyway? No matter how hard he tries I doubt Vegeta's strength would remain constant forever. If the next generation really worked at it, they'd probably be able to catch up.

But yes, both of them achieving SSJ3 is a big stretch I think.

[Rocketman]

But yes, both of them achieving SSJ3 is a big stretch I think.

Vegeta
Fifteen years of training = no SSJ3
One additional year of training = SSJ3

Goten
Fifteen years of being a pussy + one year of training = SSJ3 stronger than SSJ3 Vegeta.

*spits*

[Saiyan-Professor]

I agree wholeheartedly, from what we saw in Dragonball Z and GT the half-Saiyans have access to power a lot faster than the full bloods but they lack the initiative to go beyond Super Saiyan 1 except for Son Gohan. Then there is no proof that they could go beyond Super Saiyan 2. Gotenks was unique because he was two fused half-Saiyans and magic was involved. Unless Son Goten was taken over by some extremely powerful being or he was given a Ultimate power-up handout like Son Gohan, there is no way he could ever surpass Vegeta. I am not saying this because I am a fan of Vegeta but because Vegeta has too big a head start. He has been training for over 20 years. As much as I like the Vegeta character and I would love to see him go beyond Super Saiyan 2 even I have to admit that it is impossible for him to achieve Super Saiyan 3. Kakarrot trained in an environment where the laws concerning ki was different (Dai Kaiô’s Planet) similar to The Room of Space or Time. Since Vegeta spent his full amount of time in the room, Toriyama closed the Super Saiyan 3 door on him along time ago. Therefore, if Vegeta cannot achieve Super Saiyan 3 Son Goten or any of the others certainly cannot.

Saiyajin stay young longer than humans to stay in their prime and fight for longer, but even they will eventually hit their peak. How old is Vegeta after GT, anyway? No matter how hard he tries I doubt Vegeta's strength would remain constant forever. If the next generation really worked at it, they'd probably be able to catch up.

But yes, both of them achieving SSJ3 is a big stretch I think.

The Daizenshuu on Kanzentai states:

In order to fight, their youth is long.
In order to win in battle, they have evolved to have a long youth, when physical strength is greatest. Their lifespan is about the same as that of an Earthling.

So the question is how is the average earthling’s lifespan that is way beyond normal health?

The half Saiyans have remarkable potential but it is not in them to capitalize off it.

The Daizenshuu says regarding half Saiyans:

The tailless second generation are super ultra child prodigies.
Saiya-jin genes have an extraordinarily good compatibility with Earthling blood. Because of this, when the two races are mixed together children with formidable power are born. Particularly, those Halflings born without tails hide an exceptional battle power. There are many things that they naturally master from a young age, such as the ordinarily arduous transformation into a Super Saiya-jin. In spite of having such an outstanding battle sense, they do not have a fondness for battle like a pure Saiya-jin. Instead, it seems that the violent temperament of the Saiya-jin has been relaxed through their Earthling blood.

I would love to see Vegeta achieve Super Saiyan 3 in some manner but Son Goten, come on lets be realistic. In addition, we do not have any precedence for any of them going beyond Super Saiyan 2 without being fused. That may be a side effect of having the ability to access so much power early on.

But yes, both of them achieving SSJ3 is a big stretch I think.

Vegeta
Fifteen years of training = no SSJ3
One additional year of training = SSJ3

Goten
Fifteen years of being a pussy + one year of training = SSJ3 stronger than SSJ3 Vegeta.

*spits*

Comments like that make you one of my favorite people in this forum.

[Bussani]

The half Saiyans have remarkable potential but it is not in them to capitalize off it.

Yeah, that's the catch. I can't imagine anything that would force Goten to take the training so seriously. I mean, logically I don't see any reason for the half Saiyajin to not be able to reach SSJ3. Gotenks, while admittedly a magic fusion character, was able to do it, and Gohan with his full power unleashed rivalled it's strength. But it should still take way more training than I can imagine Goten putting in.

[Scarz]

But yes, both of them achieving SSJ3 is a big stretch I think.

Vegeta
Fifteen years of training = no SSJ3
One additional year of training = SSJ3

Goten
Fifteen years of being a pussy + one year of training = SSJ3 stronger than SSJ3 Vegeta.

*spits*

Comments like that make you one of my favorite people in this forum.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Now that English translation is out for the first few pages I can finally judge the comic for it is. *Rubs hands menacingly*

Well first things first, the ART. I couldn't help but notice the line work, it's so clean I can eat off it. Most likely its digitally inked to get that nice crisp look. To be honest I'm not a fan of such clean looking art work. There's no line weight so the background and the foreground characters blend in. The artist did make the background elements a nice shade of grey, if I was a inker my editor wouldn't make this fly, even if I was digital inking the whole comic. (Then again this isn't a professional comic so I should let it slide)

Putting the line work aside, the actually art goes from looking decent, to bad in just a few pages, sometime from panel to panel. Page 8 and 9 are poorly drawn, my guess the artist didn't have any DBGT reference to draw from or he simply did a rushed job. (Or two different artists maybe?) The same goes for perspective, It looks pretty spot on in some panels while in others (again page 8 2nd panel) its off, badly I might add. How come kami palaces gets so much attention to detail while the interior to capsule corp doesn't. By all means, I'm no master of perspective, in fact I still struggle with it at times but I'll pull all nighter if I have to make it look right. (or at least unnoticeable )

The STORY however, I could care less about. Blame it on my very small attention span but the whole origin of the dragonballs thing doesn't seem interesting (Actually I do blame my short attention span, I skimmed the beginning pages of DBM and Toyable's DBAF just to get to the action). What I did like, is the part where Vegeta is trying to find someone to train with him. Like kid in empty playground asking all the adults to play with him but their just too busy.

Before I've read the English translation I thought Vegeta was trying to get the half breeds to train because the seven star dragonballs are gone from what it seemed for a very, very long time and training to become even stronger will prepare them for anything the universe has dished out for them. In other words better safe than sorry because the way I see it: No wishes means -> Earth is under attack -> millions die -> no chances for revival -> fucked. But Vegeta's only reasons to train Goten is purely for his on curiosity, which kinda makes a lot sense once I think about.

EDIT: Oh yes, and the whole Goten willing to train suddenly, turning SSJ3, winning a fight against SSJ3 Vegeta has already been mentioned by everyone before me. Verdict: Bullshit.

One more thing, in the first chapter of the comic there's no sign of conflict, no sense of danger, and no inciting incident. Instead the hook begins in chapter two, which I'm already tempting to judge. It seems that Goku, for reasons unknown, turns evil. I'm not going to lie, the fanboy in me always dreamed of evil incarnation of Goku. But than the dreamed died because after reading thousands of fanfics and fancomics, an evil version of a main character to popular franchise is not only stupid and highly unoriginal its...Well its incredible stupid and highly unoriginal. Okay so maybe its not that stupid, there were shows in the past that were able to pull this off, this comic however, eh, not so much.

Needless to say I'm always happy to see a new DBZ fancomic hope he (or she) continues. Ever since I became a freelance comic artist I have nothing but respect for anyone who at least tries to make comic of their own, even more so if the art and story improves later on. I've heard before that "anyone can make fan comic" if that was true than everyone would've made one by now. (Although it seems to be getting there, aint it?)

*Phew* its long anal comments like these that makes me a very snobbish fanboy, which strangely enough I take a great deal of pride in.

[Wojak]

It's in Spanish. I don't have the time to translate it, maybe later I can.
I recommend you typing the text into a free web translator and translating it into English.

[The Time Traveller]

It's in Spanish. I don't have the time to translate it, maybe later I can.
I recommend you typing the text into a free web translator and translating it into English.

You mean like I did a few posts above here?

[Super Ghost Kamikaze]

It's in Spanish. I don't have the time to translate it, maybe later I can.
I recommend you typing the text into a free web translator and translating it into English.

You mean like I did a few posts above here?

Seems like you need a little help, there. I've taken a couple years of colleg Spanish. While I'm hardly fluent, I think you have a few things a bit off.

For example, the first page. "Por mucho tiempo" would be "For much time" or "for a long time". I wouldn't say "for too long". That sort of thing pops up a lot in your "translation".

[The Time Traveller]

It's in Spanish. I don't have the time to translate it, maybe later I can.
I recommend you typing the text into a free web translator and translating it into English.

You mean like I did a few posts above here?

Seems like you need a little help, there. I've taken a couple years of colleg Spanish. While I'm hardly fluent, I think you have a few things a bit off.

For example, the first page. "Por mucho tiempo" would be "For much time" or "for a long time". I wouldn't say "for too long". That sort of thing pops up a lot in your "translation".

Actually it came up "For long time", I just get creative with it, "For too long" is something you hear from Narrators, British Bad guys or inspiring war movies.

Though it's like writing a letter and rereading it the next day, shit looks shit! "Because of his pure heart and lack of darkness" sounds incredibly bad...

I only did it because I thought it would be easy, and because I wanted to do something creative. I could just rewrite some of the "translations" and keep going... a few things came out too garbled to make sense of, I have a friend from College who is Spanish (She has a London Accent and it's cool when she goes into Spanish mode, she sounds completely different), she could help me out when anything comes out garbled, maybe.

I'm starting to notice really really really bad lines now, my English teachers told me I use too many commas for example...

[Super Ghost Kamikaze]

You mean like I did a few posts above here?

Seems like you need a little help, there. I've taken a couple years of colleg Spanish. While I'm hardly fluent, I think you have a few things a bit off.

For example, the first page. "Por mucho tiempo" would be "For much time" or "for a long time". I wouldn't say "for too long". That sort of thing pops up a lot in your "translation".

Actually it came up "For long time", I just get creative with it, "For too long" is something you hear from Narrators, British Bad guys or inspiring war movies.

Though it's like writing a letter and rereading it the next day, shit looks shit! "Because of his pure heart and lack of darkness" sounds incredibly bad...

Well, the next panel also has a few issues. =p

I'd translate it as "...but due to thier excessive usage, the negative energy they contained secretly grew, until it manefested itself in the form of a Dark Dragon..."

And I already have issue with your omission of the adjective associated with the energy. "Energy maligna" would be "malignant energy"...I would go with something along the lines of "evil" or "dark" energy. Etc. But I suppose it's a matter of opinion with these initial complaints? It seems to me, though, that describing the energy as something bad is important. Anyway, I suppose it's more creative license than anything, and I should try to find points where it actually goes against the MEANING...

...but I do feel that "too long" doesn't work. It changes the message of the box, I think.

I mean, the meaning was that "For the longest time, the Dragon Balls were allied with our firends to protect the earth". Instead, your translation focuses on the idea that they used the balls too much, while the original box focuses on the fact that the Dragon Balls were used to help the Earth and were "allied" with our heroes for a long time.

[Saiyan-Professor]

Can anyone get in contact with the guy like others did in the past with Toyble and see if there are going to be anymore installments. I want to see how Tarble will go Super Saiyan 8.

[SSJ Helldog]

Thanks for translating those, The Time Traveller. (Gotta keep the "The," it's the source of his power.) Sure, the art's dodgy in a spot or two, and Goten's power is absurd, but I'm curious to see where this goes. Does anybody know of any other good fan mangas besides Toyble's AF and Multiverse?

[Super Ghost Kamikaze]

I just now started translating chapter 2. I have about 80% of it done, it's pretty fun and I like this one's portrayal of Goku.

[Suupaa Gohan 2]

Thanks for translating those, The Time Traveller. (Gotta keep the "The," it's the source of his power.) Sure, the art's dodgy in a spot or two, and Goten's power is absurd, but I'm curious to see where this goes. Does anybody know of any other good fan mangas besides Toyble's AF and Multiverse?

I was curious of this as well, so you just read my mind. For years I've basically shunned so much as the idea of a good DBZ fan Manga, but DBM and Toyble's DBAF have opened my eyes to the potential of some. Anything I've ever seen has either had terrible artwork, a terrible story, or both; there's one called Dragonball RN that had its first chapter packaged into a Naruto chapter download a few months back, and I thought it had potential, but the story goes down the tubes quickly even if the art is pretty good. So I'd be eager to know if anyone is familiar with others.

[Eison]

There is this one: http://gogeta-jr.supafan.net/BD/144/Dra ... ext-Gen-/1
It's also made by Gogeta Jr. (who draws Dragonball Multiverse), but it's in France and it's unfinished. It also has Pan and she looks way better than how she looked in GT, she kinda looks like Gohan in the Cell sage.

[Suupaa Gohan 2]

I actually stumbled onto that when browsing Gogeta Jr's site. It looks a little older though, because his art isn't as clean as it is in DBM. Still looks interesting, and I do love Pan's look in it - very reminiscent of Videl's haircut during the Buu Saga.

[Saiyan-Professor]

There is this one: http://gogeta-jr.supafan.net/BD/144/Dra ... ext-Gen-/1
It's also made by Gogeta Jr. (who draws Dragonball Multiverse), but it's in France and it's unfinished. It also has Pan and she looks way better than how she looked in GT, she kinda looks like Gohan in the Cell sage.

Wow, I like this somewhat better than DBM, they should have put this as a precursor to the current manga/comic. We also see the typical Kakarrot ignoring his immediate family for others and there appears to be a Bruce Lee cameo. I wonder if Gogeta Jr. will ever finish the story?

Can Dayspring translate the pages?