Hey guys.
I've been working on a fanmanga for a while and thought I'd share it.
Here's some of chapter 1's revamped version, which is still ongoing, read from right to left!!:
You can read the rest on my deviant art: Elyas11.deviantart.com
I'm also updating chapter 4.
I post my work on DeviantArt but I'll try and post the pages on here as well.
I know I'm not a great writer but I hope you guys like it, any feedback is welcome!
goku1234 wrote:hey i been keeping up with your works and it look awesome keep up the job dude!!
Thanks! I'll try to upload as regular as possible! Glad you like it
Hellspawn28 wrote:I remember your comic that you did. I always wonder what happen to it since I remember liking it a lot.
Yeah I continued and I am currently at chapter 4. I took a long break from it so my storytelling and art had progressed in that time. Decided to do a revamp of chapter 1 because of that, I wasn't too satisfied with the old version.
I like the main villain you created so far, very cool and unique from any other DB villain. The one thing I didn't like about your comic was Gero's brother since I felt like he show up out of nowhere with no build up. Keep up the good work though.
While I love Gohan kicking ass again...second stage mystic just sounds like SSJ7-619. I don't think mystic is a form...it's more of a state like Aang's avatar state.
Why Dragon Ball Consistency in something such as power levels matter!
Spoiler:
Doctor. wrote:I've explained before, I'll just paraphrase myself.
Power levels establish tension and drama. People who care about them (well, people who care about them in a narrative) don't care about the big numbers or the fancy explosions. If you have character A who's so much above character B, who's the main character, you're gonna be left wondering how in the hell character B, the character we're supposed to care and root for, is going to escape the situation or overcome the odds. It makes us emotionally invested.
If character B doesn't escape the situation in a believable way that's consistent with previous events, then that emotional investment is gone. It was pointless tension, pointless drama made just to suck in the viewer. It has no critical value whatsoever. The audience is left believing that the author can just create whatever scenarios he wants and what happens to the characters is decided by whatever the author wants to happen, regardless of the events that happened in the story. Which, in fairness, is what happens, but the audience wants to be fooled. The audience wants to know that the world they're following has rules. That the world they're invested in isn't going to bend to external factors that are irrelevant to them.
An author can do whatever he wants with the characters, that's not false. But the author should also have the responsibility to make sure it fits in cohesively with the other events in the narrative he has created.
Hellspawn28 wrote:I like the main villain you created so far, very cool and unique from any other DB villain. The one thing I didn't like about your comic was Gero's brother since I felt like he show up out of nowhere with no build up. Keep up the good work though.
the main reason for that was simply to try out the battle scenes for me. I made loads of mistakes in this comic because I started out badly.
dbzfan7 wrote:While I love Gohan kicking ass again...second stage mystic just sounds like SSJ7-619. I don't think mystic is a form...it's more of a state like Aang's avatar state.
It is a state, it's still mystic, but more advanced. Like Aang still being in the same state but being able to control all elements and not just air. Still working on a definitive explanation.
elyas11 wrote:
It is a state, it's still mystic, but more advanced. Like Aang still being in the same state but being able to control all elements and not just air. Still working on a definitive explanation.
I'm not sure how to make a potential drawing state more powerful...but as long as the explanation is good I can except it...how does it compare to SSJ4 etc...
Why Dragon Ball Consistency in something such as power levels matter!
Spoiler:
Doctor. wrote:I've explained before, I'll just paraphrase myself.
Power levels establish tension and drama. People who care about them (well, people who care about them in a narrative) don't care about the big numbers or the fancy explosions. If you have character A who's so much above character B, who's the main character, you're gonna be left wondering how in the hell character B, the character we're supposed to care and root for, is going to escape the situation or overcome the odds. It makes us emotionally invested.
If character B doesn't escape the situation in a believable way that's consistent with previous events, then that emotional investment is gone. It was pointless tension, pointless drama made just to suck in the viewer. It has no critical value whatsoever. The audience is left believing that the author can just create whatever scenarios he wants and what happens to the characters is decided by whatever the author wants to happen, regardless of the events that happened in the story. Which, in fairness, is what happens, but the audience wants to be fooled. The audience wants to know that the world they're following has rules. That the world they're invested in isn't going to bend to external factors that are irrelevant to them.
An author can do whatever he wants with the characters, that's not false. But the author should also have the responsibility to make sure it fits in cohesively with the other events in the narrative he has created.
elyas11 wrote:
It is a state, it's still mystic, but more advanced. Like Aang still being in the same state but being able to control all elements and not just air. Still working on a definitive explanation.
I'm not sure how to make a potential drawing state more powerful...but as long as the explanation is good I can except it...how does it compare to SSJ4 etc...
not entirely sure. I'm not as educated in the DB world as you guys so my comic is full of flaws. I am unsure as to how I will explain half of it. I don't want to use "Akira never focused on technicalities" as an excuse either so that's one reason I started the revamp but it seems like I still make mistakes ;p
