My attempt to adapt Cha-La Head Cha-La's lyrics to English

[jjgp1112]

One thing we've never gotten before is a faithful rendition of Cha-La Head Cha-La's lyrics that weren't complete nonsense or in Engrish. The one English version on the Phillipino dub, while excellent (Hear it for yourself!) deviates from the original quite a bit. So I took a stab at doing it myself, using bits from other translations to help out at certain points. I'm not great with lyrics, but I want to see what you guys think and if some of the more musically adept users here have some tweaks and suggestions:

Break through clouds shinin’ in the sky and fly away (fly away)
A great force...flows...through me...surging from my toes to my face
The earth gets knocked down on its face and burns with rage (burns with rage)
And the ground shakes, and volcanoes erupt with flames

In, the melting arctic ice there lies a beast
I'll teach it a few new tricks
The potential is endless, there's no limit

Cha-La, Head Cha-La
No matter how bad things sound
I won't stay down, nothing's gonna stop me now

Cha-La, Head Cha-La
As long as my heart still swells, I'll never fail
My spirit bursts up and yells

Cha-La, Head Cha-La
Don’t doubt an empty head, ‘cause it ain’t so bad
Make the void your canvas of dreams

Cha-La, Head Cha-la
Have pride and keep your smile bright, don't let it die
Not even through the darkest night

SPARKING!

[Puto]

I still think Flow's 'hits back with mad volcanic attitude' is the best adaptation for volcanoes exploding ever.

[UltimateHammerBro]

I like it, it captures that slightly nonsensical feel the original song has, while making it flow (get it?) better in English. Loads better than the Kageyama Engrish version.
However, I think that you should remove the "and" in the fourth verse: I've tried singing it and it ends a syllable too long. Everything else seems fine to me.

"Make the void your canvas of dreams" is my new favourite sentence

[jjgp1112]

I like it, it captures that slightly nonsensical feel the original song has, while making it flow (get it?) better in English. Loads better than the Kageyama Engrish version.
However, I think that you should remove the "and" in the fourth verse: I've tried singing it and it ends a syllable too long. Everything else seems fine to me.

"Make the void your canvas of dreams" is my new favourite sentence

Thanks! I tried to come up with something creative for that part.

[ConfusedPhantom]

I like it, it captures that slightly nonsensical feel the original song has, while making it flow (get it?) better in English. Loads better than the Kageyama Engrish version.
However, I think that you should remove the "and" in the fourth verse: I've tried singing it and it ends a syllable too long. Everything else seems fine to me.

"Make the void your canvas of dreams" is my new favourite sentence

Agreed!

Say, mind if I use these lyrics for a cover?

[jjgp1112]

I like it, it captures that slightly nonsensical feel the original song has, while making it flow (get it?) better in English. Loads better than the Kageyama Engrish version.
However, I think that you should remove the "and" in the fourth verse: I've tried singing it and it ends a syllable too long. Everything else seems fine to me.

"Make the void your canvas of dreams" is my new favourite sentence

Agreed!

Say, mind if I use these lyrics for a cover?

Sure! No problem.

[El Diabeetus]

I like these! I've done one myself, but I'd be scared to post it here since my singing voice is iffy.
But, your lyrics are well done and remind me of Kageyama's English one without sounding Engrish-y. I also like you kept Sparking! at the end rather than removing it or changing it into Sparkling like most covers do.

[jjgp1112]

So I, being a perfectionist asshole, tweaked quite a bit of the lyrics, so I figured I'd bump it so you all can see the updated version.