TV Anime Special II Vegeta Manga!

SSj_Rambo · Post by **SSj_Rambo** » Fri May 30, 2008 11:50 pm

Wow!

Great job Mike, Herms and Desire Campbell, you have all done a truly amazing job with these two stories.

Chibi Mystic Gohan · Post by **Chibi Mystic Gohan** » Sat May 31, 2008 2:21 am

VegettoEX wrote:Also:

desirecampbell.com wrote:'Lonely Future Warrior!! Trunks' (孤独の未来戦士!! トランクス). Included in the Anime Comics version of the Bardock special, it told Trunks' story, covering much of the same material as the Trunks special. However, it went further than the Trunks special did and included Trunks' journey into the past, his first meeting with his father, and his fight against Cell in the present. This one was written by Matsui Miya, who was scenario supervisor for the anime; the illustrations were again by Maeda Minoru.
I wish I wasn't working on a bazillion other things and could do my page version of it right now...

I thought either form was correct?

Post by **VegettoEX** » Sat May 31, 2008 8:51 am

Chibi Mystic Gohan wrote:I thought either form was correct?

It was written as "Trunk's". His name is not "Trunk".

Chibi Mystic Gohan · Post by **Chibi Mystic Gohan** » Sat May 31, 2008 3:11 pm

I thought you were correcting the use of "Trunks's."

Ahhhh, late night forum browsing...

DaemonCorps · Post by **DaemonCorps** » Sat May 31, 2008 5:16 pm

Awesome work erm... everybody!

Though, I did spot some misspellings/awkwardness:
In "High Pride!! Saiya Prince Vegeta"
- page 2, top panel: And then after becoming a bundle of pride as he matured, Vegeta appeared before Freeza.
- page 3, panel 1: Of course, neither Nappa, who always obeyed Vegeta like his shadow, nor Goku's older brother Raditz
- page 4, panel 3: And then, he had his fateful meeting with the Saiyan Kakarot, Son Goku. [...] Vegeta mercilessly killed Nappa;
- page 4, panel 4: You should regret losing your tail!!
- page 5, panel 2: all there was was Freeza's single fear:
- page 5, panel 3: Vegeta saw Goku's way of fighting and, overwhelmed at his unfathomable power, he thought, [...] However, he soon thought, [...] As I thought, the one to become [the?] Super Saiyan is me

The only real things that stood out were the misspellings. Stuff like comma, colon and semicolon use is more of a suggestion than an actual correction. Cool stuff overall, though.

EDIT
In "Lonely Future Warrior!! Trunks"
- page 2, bottom left: even if you searched through the entire Earth
- page 4, paragraph 5: Gohan-san's smiling face encouraged me
- page 4, last sentence: [At that?] moment, I saw Gohan-san's corpse lying stretched out in a pool of blood. [Though I guess it makes sense that Trunks would be in such a distressed state of mind that the best he could say was a simple statement rather than a full sentence. The same goes for the last sentence on the right side of page 5.]
- page 6, left side, paragraph 5: How long do you intend on following me?
- page 6, left side, paragraph 6: Tasting the loneliness of losing my father just once was enough.
- page 6, left side, last paragraph: I would inform father [add a space] of my identity
- page 7, right side, last paragraph: Cell even pointed out my mistake to me

Post by **Herms** » Sat May 31, 2008 7:52 pm

DaemonCorps wrote:- page 4, last sentence: [At that?] moment, I saw Gohan-san's corpse lying stretched out in a pool of blood. [Though I guess it makes sense that Trunks would be in such a distressed state of mind that the best he could say was a simple statement rather than a full sentence. The same goes for the last sentence on the right side of page 5.]

I brought this up on the last page, but those two sentences are supposed to continue on to the next page. I didn't make that clear enough and desirecampbell split them up into two sentences. They're supposed to be like this:

pp.158-160 "The moment I saw Gohan-san's corpse lying stretched out in a pool of blood, screams, anger, frustration, and tears swelled up in my body like a surging wave."

pp.160-161 "To avenge Gohan-san, Vegeta-san, and all those killed by the androids, I needed to definitely be above them in power"

Post by **desirecampbell** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 11:48 am

Argh! Just got Internet hooked up, still unpacking - will get to fixes ASAP.

@EX, I've got the translation in a txt, but it needs the corrects still, I'll get that up ASAP too.

-edit-
Goddamnit, four new AF pages too.

Post by **desirecampbell** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:46 am

http://desirecampbell.com/index.php?pag ... bz_outside

Corrections done, and uploaded.

EX, you can grab the script fop Trunks here.

*now to the new AF pages*

Kanzenshuu

TV Anime Special II Vegeta Manga!

Who is online