Who is the biggest failure in the series: Yamcha or Chaozu?

[Kantico]

Ten breaking Yamcha's leg > Chaozu exploting...

[Olympian]

Meh, they're only failures because they keep getting overshadowed by the saiyans and all these powerful beings. If you take the saiyans and all the extraterrestrials out of the equation, Yamcha and Chaotzu are some of the strongest beings on the planet. I'll even go ahead and say that Chaotzu might be able to beat Mr. Satan easily.

I don`t think the question of whether Chaotzu would beat Mr Satan easily or not should exist in the first place.

[Saiga]

Meh, they're only failures because they keep getting overshadowed by the saiyans and all these powerful beings. If you take the saiyans and all the extraterrestrials out of the equation, Yamcha and Chaotzu are some of the strongest beings on the planet. I'll even go ahead and say that Chaotzu might be able to beat Mr. Satan easily.

I don`t think the question of whether Chaotzu would beat Mr Satan easily or not should exist in the first place.

Yeah, the Boo Saga makes it pretty obvious that Satan is stronger, or Goku would have IT'd to Chiaotzu's ki instead of offering it to Satan.

[Naughty Kinto Un]

Chaozu found true love. Can you say that much for Yamucha?

I mean, think about it:

Chaozu had to compete against Lunch for Tenshinhan -- and who does the ripped three-eyed martial artist pick but the little guy. That clowny little fuck gets to sweat it out with Tenshinhan day and night in the mountains in the middle of fucking nowhere. I'm telling you, he hit the jackpot. Not a lot of guys like Chaozu have this luck. Hard to believe but it's true.

Yamucha, on the other hand, lost Bulma to Vegeta. Now all he's left with is a transforming cat. Sure, he probably got laid every now and then but it was all meaningless. And by the end of Dragon Ball you could tell he was getting pretty desperate with age -- just look at his skeevy clothes, his ratty ponytail, his hollow grin, and, most importantly, no girl. Considering that at the beginning of Dragon Ball Yamucha yearned for nothing more than marriage, I'd consider that a big failure. In a few years, swap the cat for a turtle and you have a second-rate Muten Roshi with crushed dreams. Yamucha really is a tragic figure. Which sucks because he's such a nice guy.

In terms of life goals, Chaozu wins.

Poor Yamucha. He wins at nothing.

[Saiga]

Chaozu found true love. Can you say that much for Yamucha?

I mean, think about it:

Chaozu had to compete against Lunch for Tenshinhan -- and who does the ripped three-eyed martial artist pick but the little guy. That clowny little fuck gets to sweat it out with Tenshinhan day and night in the mountains in the middle of fucking nowhere. I'm telling you, he hit the jackpot. Not a lot of guys like Chaozu have this luck. Hard to believe but it's true.

Yamucha, on the other hand, lost Bulma to Vegeta. Now all he's left with is a transforming cat. Sure, he probably got laid every now and then but it was all meaningless. And by the end of Dragon Ball you could tell he was getting pretty desperate with age -- just look at his skeevy clothes, his ratty ponytail, his hollow grin, and, most importantly, no girl. Considering that at the beginning of Dragon Ball Yamucha yearned for nothing more than marriage, I'd consider that a big failure. In a few years, swap the cat for a turtle and you have a second-rate Muten Roshi with crushed dreams. Yamucha really is a tragic figure. Which sucks because he's such a nice guy.

In terms of life goals, Chaozu wins.

Poor Yamucha. He wins at nothing.

Well played. Chiaotzu >>> Yamcha.

[DBZAOTA482]

Chaozu found true love. Can you say that much for Yamucha?

I mean, think about it:

Chaozu had to compete against Lunch for Tenshinhan -- and who does the ripped three-eyed martial artist pick but the little guy. That clowny little fuck gets to sweat it out with Tenshinhan day and night in the mountains in the middle of fucking nowhere. I'm telling you, he hit the jackpot. Not a lot of guys like Chaozu have this luck. Hard to believe but it's true.

Yamucha, on the other hand, lost Bulma to Vegeta. Now all he's left with is a transforming cat. Sure, he probably got laid every now and then but it was all meaningless. And by the end of Dragon Ball you could tell he was getting pretty desperate with age -- just look at his skeevy clothes, his ratty ponytail, his hollow grin, and, most importantly, no girl. Considering that at the beginning of Dragon Ball Yamucha yearned for nothing more than marriage, I'd consider that a big failure. In a few years, swap the cat for a turtle and you have a second-rate Muten Roshi with crushed dreams. Yamucha really is a tragic figure. Which sucks because he's such a nice guy.

In terms of life goals, Chaozu wins.

Poor Yamucha. He wins at nothing.

Well....at least Yamcha gets some pussy.

[Piccolo Daimao]

Well, let's think about this for a second. Yamcha can get his best friend, the cat Pu-erh, to transform into anything he wants permanently (unlike Oolong, who can only do it temporarily). This means that he could basically get Pu-erh to transform Blooma, Chi-Chi, Videl, Android #18, etc...that's fucking lifetime fulfillment! Whereas all Chaozu's left with is a training addict who dotes on him more like a protective big brother than a lover.

[Naughty Kinto Un]

Well....at least Yamcha gets some pussy.

So what? Chaozu doesn't swing that way. He doesn't crave some pussy. He craves some Tenshinhan.

(Your emphasis tells me that you have very strong feelings about the spelling of his name.)

Though maybe by getting "some pussy" you mean the following:

Well, let's think about this for a second. Yamcha can get his best friend, the cat Pu-erh, to transform into anything he wants permanently (unlike Oolong, who can only do it temporarily). This means that he could basically get Pu-erh to transform Blooma, Chi-Chi, Videl, Android #18, etc...that's fucking lifetime fulfillment! Whereas all Chaozu's left with is a training addict who dotes on him more like a protective big brother than a lover.

Sure, Pu-erh can transform into anything he wants permanently, but, judging from his Goku transformation, they're blow-up doll quality transformations. Also, having to resort to fucking his pet cat? That'd be a new low for Yamucha. Let the man have some dignity left. Though, I have to admit, this would be a great idea for a doujinshi.

There's no doubt that Tenshinhan and Chaozu are lovers. Their favorite "food" is each other, for god's sake. Why do you think Tenshinhan keeps Chaozu around -- in the mountains, in the middle of nowhere, alone -- when the latter is clearly too weak to be an effective sparring partner. That's because they're another kind of partners. Partners in love.

In any case, Tenshinhan and Chaozu are happy together. But that poor bastard Yamucha never fulfilled his simple and admirable dream of finding true love. Instead he ended up a creepy cat guy. What a bummer.

Conclusion: Choazu is full of victory! ...and Tenshinhan. And maybe vice versa if they switch.

[Piccolo Daimao]

Well, let's think about this for a second. Yamcha can get his best friend, the cat Pu-erh, to transform into anything he wants permanently (unlike Oolong, who can only do it temporarily). This means that he could basically get Pu-erh to transform Blooma, Chi-Chi, Videl, Android #18, etc...that's fucking lifetime fulfillment! Whereas all Chaozu's left with is a training addict who dotes on him more like a protective big brother than a lover.

Sure, Pu-erh can transform into anything he wants permanently, but, judging from his Goku transformation, they're blow-up doll quality transformations. Also, having to resort to fucking his pet cat? That'd be a new low for Yamucha. Let the man have some dignity left. Though, I have to admit, this would be a great idea for a doujinshi.

Well, Oolong could transform perfectly into Blooma, and since Pu-erh actually completed his transformation kindergarten training (unlike Oolong, who got kicked out for stealing the teachers' panties and can only temporarily transform), I think he'd be able to transform perfectly into any woman both he and Yamcha had seen if he concentrated hard enough.

Yes, he's technically fucking his cat, but...let's be honest. If you had a talking cat buddy who was totally willing to do that for you...you'd do it, wouldn't you?

And yeah, it'd be a great idea for a doujinshi, although I got the idea from a WeeklyTubeShow dub.

There's no doubt that Tenshinhan and Chaozu are lovers. Their favorite "food" is each other, for god's sake. Why do you think Tenshinhan keeps Chaozu around -- in the mountains, in the middle of nowhere, alone -- when the latter is clearly too weak to be an effective sparring partner. That's because they're another kind of partners. Partners in love.

In any case, Tenshinhan and Chaozu are happy together. But that poor bastard Yamucha never fulfilled his simple and admirable dream of finding true love. Instead he ended up a creepy cat guy. What a bummer.

Conclusion: Choazu is full of victory! ...and Tenshinhan. And maybe vice versa if they switch.

Methinks you're looking deeply into it. Tenshinhan and Chaozu aren't lovers in anything other than the wishful thinking of numerous DB fans. They just have a big brother/little brother relationship. Also, even if they were lovers, how the fuck would the sex work? Chaozu's, like, only up to Tenshinhan's knee!

Then again, they do seem to spend a lot of time away from the group, "training" by themselves in the mountains...

Anyway, I like to think Yamcha eventually settled down with Chi-Chi. Yes, Chi-Chi. Gokuu would be too oblivious, nonchalant, and focused on his training to know or care about it.

[DBZAOTA482]

Anyway, I like to think Yamcha eventually settled down with Chi-Chi. Yes, Chi-Chi. Gokuu would be too oblivious, nonchalant, and focused on his training to know or care about it.

But in terms of life goals, Chaozu still has more bragging rights since it's fucking Tenshinhan he's bumping ugly with and Chi-Chi's legacy is NOT a positive one.

[Jackal puFF]

Yamcha because he has no one except a talking cat.

[Saiga]

I wouldn't fuck a cat no matter what they looked like.

And why are we assuming the cat is okay with this, anyway? I don't think the cat would like being used like that.

Also even if it was okay with it, it would still turn Yamcha from nice guy to detestable dickbag.

[coola]

I always wondered, that in Anime, when they show, how Z-fighters died from 17 and 18 hands, only Chaozu was absent (in both series, and Trunks Special) yet they even showed how Yajirobe died.

[DBZAOTA482]

I always wondered, that in Anime, when they show, how Z-fighters died from 17 and 18 hands, only Chaozu was absent (in both series, and Trunks Special) yet they even showed how Yajirobe died.

He's so much of a loser that he's not worth any of the animation budget to be shown being killed.

[Gokuden]

To me, I think Yamcha stands above Chaozu because of the fact that Yamcha showed sympathy towards the main protagonist in Son Goku during DragonBall vol. 2 when he transforms into a Oozaru; he cut off his tail and clothed him, it was a sort of big brother moment.

Fond memories of reading this in 1st grade.

Chaozu, I don't care for, had he never been in the series it wouldn't have made a difference. If anything, he wasted resources that could have been used for a better weak character.

[Silver Sinspawn]

Oolong is clearly a bigger failure than both Yamcha and Chaozu

[CaBrPi]

Oolong is clearly a bigger failure than both Yamcha and Chaozu

Oolong still has more plot importance than Chaozu.

[sonikku956]

Anyway, I like to think Yamcha eventually settled down with Chi-Chi. Yes, Chi-Chi. Gokuu would be too oblivious, nonchalant, and focused on his training to know or care about it.

But in terms of life goals, Chaozu still has more bragging rights since it's fucking Tenshinhan he's bumping ugly with and Chi-Chi's legacy is NOT a positive one.

I did not like that fanfic

[DBZGTKOSDH]

Oolong is clearly a bigger failure than both Yamcha and Chaozu

Are you kidding me? Oolong saved the world.

[DBZAOTA482]

Anyway, I like to think Yamcha eventually settled down with Chi-Chi. Yes, Chi-Chi. Gokuu would be too oblivious, nonchalant, and focused on his training to know or care about it.

But in terms of life goals, Chaozu still has more bragging rights since it's fucking Tenshinhan he's bumping ugly with and Chi-Chi's legacy is NOT a positive one.

I did not like that fanfic

Good to say that you actually trudged through that ridiculous piece.

You can also give a special thanks to the FUNimation Dub for making it possible, because it added more fuel to the whole "Chi-Chi is a selfish harpy who only cares about Gohan's education." theory in ways beyond your imagination (not to mention it made her the subject of perpetual PMS and bipolar disorder jokes).

EDIT: I bet in the alternate timeline, Chaozu offed himself because his life is meaningless without Ten-san.