DragonBall GT Revised [fanfic]

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DragonBall GT Revised [fanfic]

Postby Kaboom » Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:24 am

---LINKS TO CHAPTER UPDATE POSTS---



---ORIGINAL TOPIC-STARTING POST---
I wrote:Since with the creation of the fanworks section comes the prerogative to make threads dedicated to larger or longer-running works, here comes the topic for my international smash hit* fan fiction, "DragonBall GT: Revised", or just "GTR" for short.

Up until now, I've been posting updates in the good ol' FanWorks explosion thread. But it's been a while since I last posted a chapter, and we've gotten a lot of new members since then. So for a little background info, the basic concept is, as someone recently put it, "If GT Didn't Suck."

I've always had some bizarre fascination with GT since the early days of my fandom, but even as normally accepting and optimistic as I am, even I realize the "ugly stepchild" of the franchise had its flaws. Over time, my incessantly creative brain began thinking up ways with which GT might have been better. Eventually, I had some sort of epiphany and decided to put it into fanfic form. Now two years later, I've gotten the project well underway, and I've got a whole slew of material prepared and conjured up, with a whopping eleven chapters under my belt. Yes, eleven. Ooooh~

Overall, the story won't differ as much as you see a lot of GT-rewrite fanfics do. The same basic storylines will be there, usually with the same or similar outcomes. Except the execution will be, at least I like to think so, leagues better than how GT originally executed it. In other words, in with the good, out with the bad or nonsensical. Or in some cases, if it was good AND nonsensical (Like the Super 17 saga), I'll be trying my best to tweak things appropriately so that they'll fit. I'll be less concerned with what the original GT did, and more with how the manga set things up.

Without further adieu, here's the chapters thus far:

Chapter One- "It's My Match, and I'll Be Late If I Want To!"
Chapter Two - "Leave It To Pilaf"
Chapter Three - "Looking For (Dragon) Balls In All The Wrong Places"
Chapter Four - "Honey, I Shrunk The Saiyan"
Chapter Five - "Aftermath"
Chapter Six - "Third Time's The Harm"
Chapter Seven - "We Interrupt This Fanfic..."
Chapter Eight - "Some 'Splaining To Do"

'Cataclysm' Chapter One - "Little Green Men"
'Cataclysm' Chapter Two - "You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry"

And finally, the catalyst for my making this thread, the latest addition, 'Cataclysm' Chapter Three - "It's Not Easy Being Green." In this chapter, the 'Memories of Namek' mini-arc continues. Shaky alliances are formed, plans are conceived, and things are ready to go completely higgeldy-piggeldy.

But GTR is more than just written material. In addition, I've been doing accompanying artwork for chapters whenever I can, just to allow for a more visual grasp on what's going on. Some of these are kind of old too, but I may as well post the ones I still like, or are still "canon..."

~The mighty dragon Xuelong, from Chapter 4
~The game show hosts and contestants from the infamous Chapter 7
~Slug manhandling the Saiyan mercenary Zunim, from Cataclysm Chapter 2

There was one I made for the first couple chapters combined, but it's horrible, so I'm going to redo it and post it sometime soon. In the meantime, here's some artwork for Cataclysm Chapter 3:

~Zunim's Crewmates - The rest of the troublemaking bunch.
~Makigai, the Namekian capital city. Not to scale.

So I guess that's all I have to offer for the time being. I've come to really be attached to this project, and I intend to carry it on as long as I absolutely can. Even so, my release schedule and pacing could be deemed "iffy" at best, so don't be surprised if some time goes by between chapters being released. The content seems to be worth the wait once it's out (at least, most of my FF.net readers tend to think so), but hopefully shooting it up with you guys will help keep my muse sparked and alive. I'll certainly get cracking on Chapter Twelve right away, and hopefully have it ready in a short while.

If things get dull, I have plenty of extra little material I've accumulated that I can post; things like character profiles, excerpts from my notes, design sketches, and stuff like that. You may or may not really care, but hey, this is the FanWorks section. We're here to bounce ideas off one another and get the creative juices flowing. So if you want, we can ask and answer questions, make suggestions, and stuff like that.

Sometime in the next day or so, I have some more art I'm going to put up. Until then, read and enjoy!





* Actual widespread notoriety or popularity may vary
Last edited by Kaboom on Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:29 am, edited 19 times in total.
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Postby KinoFourpaws » Wed Jan 07, 2009 10:44 pm

I have to say, while I know that it wouldn't make sense for them to wear Freeza's armor at this point in time, I wasn't expecting to see Zunim's crew in outfits like these. They look like high schoolers. :P

I do like how Kale looks, though. She's cute~ :P
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Postby Kaboom » Wed Jan 07, 2009 10:46 pm

Yeah, I had absolutely no idea what to dress them in. DragonBall never showed us much in the way of "civilian" outfits from across the galaxy.

If I had more shades of brown in my repertoire of markers, I might have made the colors a little more dull.
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Postby Conan the SSJ » Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:27 pm

Up to Chapter 3, liking what I'm seeing so far. I can tell you've put a lot of genuine work and heart into this, Sean, keep that up and this may be something special. IMO, seriously. I've seen some of your art for GTR as well, really liking the new red dragon, among others. Only thing that may hold your story back is how many other retellings are out there; from SG2's IGNO, that Joey Batz, and those authors browse here on DaizEX as well. Maybe do some more concept art and light-spoilery outline displays of what you're planning, send some PMs around to members here you know that may not have caught up on this, do what ya' can to increase interest. For now at the least, you have my full interest, please continue on (I'm gonna hate if Chapter 10 is a cliffhanger ;p).

Oh yeah, looking forward to some of my creative consulting tibits making it in!
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Postby caejones » Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:32 pm

Holy black-on-a-popo, New GTR! And I can actually open ff.net today! :shock: (Maybe I should try to hide from daizex for a month more often? XD).
... Are there two references to me in the first two posts? I'm not a shadow after all!
(and I don't have IRC.) </attention-craving psychopath>

*ahem*. Can I read chapter 11, incorporate some thoughts into this post, and do all that in under half an hour? Ready, set, Awesome!
After the first bit of conversation, with the exposition on 'festival'. Good freaking grief, you're good at taking things we already had a sort of fixed image of and changing it up, without losing anything from the source. :shock: :D

Totally not making this in one session. But yeesh, you kick tons of face with plot and culture-ness and... Yeah, awesomeness. :D
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Postby Kaboom » Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:55 am

So, let's get a show of hands (or replies, whatever). Who honestly thought that this thread would never again be looked upon by mortal eyes? Yeah, me neither. But we were all wrong.

So first some explanations. Through a combination of "the usual distracting personal b.s.," and some extreme creative blocks, I ended up stumped on a certain plot point, and chapter 12 sat around since early February with only about two paragraphs completed. But recently, I finally managed to get it finished. All it ended up taking was a little bit of outside brainstorming help (*tips hat to Yuugi's Black Magician*), and it all fell together. Before even I knew it, chapter 12 was done.

Now, my original plan was to make a small post sometime last week, posting a fanart and promising something cool: a massive update consisting of three chapters (12, 13, and 14) all at once, along with a crapton of concept sketches, some preview snippets of dialogue from chapter 15, and a big ol' honkin' fanart.

However, like most plans I make, it didn't work out. Thanks to some computer problems and an annoyingly large amount of outside interference, I'm not gonna be able to make that, even though chapter 13 is already halfway done. I should be able to have them both completed and published about halfway through July.

In the meantime, today you're all getting a two-part update. Let's cut to the chase. First off, a chapter!

GTR Chapter 12: "For Every Action"

In this thrilling new installation, we're finally done with the "boring setup" portion of the Namek History "not-so-mini" mini-arc, and delve into the "exciting setup" and "finally some kickassery" portions. The majority of the actual high-end combat and action will be happening in the bulk of 13 and the first half of 14.

So, since that three-chapter extravaganza isn't happening quite yet, I decided to turn it into a two-chapter deal instead, and serve up 12 for the time being. Just so we don't go any longer without a freakin' update...

Now for the second part of this precursor update: we've got some business goin' on with the earlier chapters. First part being that I'll be going back and doing some kinda-minor revisions to chapters 2 and 3, namely the portions dealing with Emperor Pilaf and his motley crew getting up to Kami's Palace. You'll see what I mean when you go back and read in a day or two. You are gonna go back and read it, right?

Second, we've got something I've been meaning to do for a while. A revision of this very old and very bad fanart that was supposed to serve as an "all-purpose" illustration for chapters 1 through 3, essentially showing what everyone was doing during the opening Tenka'ichi Budokai. Everything after that is good enough, but looking back at this one makes my eyes bleed. So I decided to make a new one, chock full of "non-suck" and generally more finalized character designs, and... well, check it out for yourself.

"Good Times at the Tenka'ichi Budokai: Revised!"

That's about it for now! I'll keep plugging away at 13 (which is no problem so far; like I said it's mainly action and I'm good at writing action) and then 14, and the two-chapter, chock-full-o-bonuses extravaganza should happen in no time. Meanwhile, discussion, comments, and even criticism only provide encouragement and help me get it done faster!
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Postby Maphisto86 » Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:09 pm

*raises hand*

Still like a brownnose suck up, I have looked forward to every chapter to this neat take on Dragonball GT. Great work!

I was surprised to see how you represented the Saiyan characters. I have to say I am not a fan of their clothing either . . . though I do like the character designs themselves. Perhaps their clothes should resemble a cross between the fur, "Cave Saiyan" clothing depicted in DBZ filler, Freeza squad like armor and Namekian clothing, the last idea because you hint that these Saiyans have been stuck on Namek for awhile. I guess some Saiyans managed to get off their homeworld with the help of their Tsfuru neighbors before the Saiyans eventually took over.

By the way, I would love to see all of that artwork put on your Deviantart account. Always fave worthy! :wink:
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Postby Kaboom » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:20 am

Maphisto86 wrote:I was surprised to see how you represented the Saiyan characters. I have to say I am not a fan of their clothing either . . . though I do like the character designs themselves. Perhaps their clothes should resemble a cross between the fur, "Cave Saiyan" clothing depicted in DBZ filler, Freeza squad like armor and Namekian clothing, the last idea because you hint that these Saiyans have been stuck on Namek for awhile. I guess some Saiyans managed to get off their homeworld with the help of their Tsfuru neighbors before the Saiyans eventually took over.


Yeah, about their designs... Their outfits in that previous picture are a result of my having a limited selection of markers. I've come up with better designs which they'll be sporting in some of the artwork next time I update.

The thing is, this is a few hundred years before DragonBall takes place. In the "combined-sources history" I'm working with, the Saiyans at this point are a nomadic race who just kinda wander the universe in "packs" of various sizes, causing trouble and taking on odd jobs, preferably ones where they get to fight things, to sustain themselves.

As such, it's kinda odd to come up with looks for them. They aren't their ancient, barbaric selves, they're spacefaring people, so they're not gonna be wearing animal skins. This is a good while before Freeza's empire was prominent or even existent, so they're not gonna be wearing that armor. They haven't settled (back) on Plant yet, so they're not gonna be wearing anything Tuffle-inspired. This particular group don't really live on Namek or anything (I suppose they've only been there for about a month or so), so they wouldn't necessarily be wearing Namekian clothing, and even if they'd been there longer they wouldn't have to because there's a buttload of trade and commerce there and they could obtain whatever clothes they want...

So yeah, I've designed more "space pirate"-esque outfits for them. Lotsa browns and blacks and patches and pouches and some bling and whatnot. It'll look cool when I post pictures.

... And, uh... yeah, that's about it for that matter. ^_^;
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Postby Xyex » Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:51 am

So yeah, I've designed more "space pirate"-esque outfits for them. Lotsa browns and blacks and patches and pouches and some bling and whatnot. It'll look cool when I post pictures.

.................

Ok, now I'm picturing them dressed up like Bojack and co. :lol:
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Postby Kaboom » Fri Jun 26, 2009 11:02 am

Xyex wrote:.................

Ok, now I'm picturing them dressed up like Bojack and co. :lol:


Well I was going for more of a "Han Solo" look, but now that you've mentioned it...
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Postby Maphisto86 » Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:02 am

SSj Kaboom wrote:
Xyex wrote:.................

Ok, now I'm picturing them dressed up like Bojack and co. :lol:


Well I was going for more of a "Han Solo" look, but now that you've mentioned it...


D'oh! :x

In all seriousness, a cross between a "Han-Solo" look and something Bojack's men wore would be great. I still think some form of armor would be cool. Maybe a bandoleer on one or two of them, like on this "cave saiyan" by BK-81:
Image
I dunno just shooting out thoughts here . . . by armor I mean anything, spacey like or perhaps resembling the shoulder guards Piccolo usually wears under his cape. Think Paragus . . . Well whatever it turns out as I look forward to any and all written and drawn work from you Sean (SSJ Kaboom). 8)
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Postby Kaboom » Mon Jul 06, 2009 8:16 pm

Well I've got a somewhat-minor update. I added some exposition-ish dialogue to the end of Chapter 12. It was going to be at the start of the next chapter, but as I wrote I felt it was making things drag on too long and delaying the action too much.

I also went back and fixed some things in chapters 2 and 3, particularly the portions concerning Pilaf squirming his way up to Kami's Temple.

So follow the above links and check those out if you're so inclined. Chapter 13 is coming along nicely, and it and 14 should be posted in grand fashion sometime mid-month as planned.
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Postby Kaboom » Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:49 pm

This is the way we bump the thread!

After five long months (is that a new record?), I come bearing a brand-new chapter of the acclaimed fanfiction, DragonBall GT: Revised!

Chapter 13 - "SlugFest"

In this chapter, the "Black Star Dragon Balls' History" flashback arc on Namek (mouthful) is building to a climax. The tensions have peaked and the ol' ultraviolence is finally underway.

Maybe those superstitions about the number 13 have some truth after all. I don't know WHY I had so much Writer's Block this time around. The chapter's 90% straight-up action, and I'm usually very adept at narrating the beat-downs. Ah well, it's here, and I think it turned out well. What's more, there's some 'Daizex-clusive' illustrations, as usual!

First off, you remember that picture of the group of Saiyans from this arc, that I posted a few months ago (...y'know, at the top of this same page)? Well, I redid it. With a twist.

"Zunim and his posse"

A little better, methinks. At least this one wasn't insanely rushed, and colored like someone had swallowed and regurgitated rainbow sprinkles onto it. The second one is just a sketch. But it's a little spoilerish if you haven't actually read the chapter yet.

I've already started on Chapter 14, which will finally mark the end of this damn flashback "mini-arc." I won't make any promises or predictions about when it will be done, because I always end up wrong. But hopefully it will go quicker and easier than this chapter did.
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Postby Big Momma » Wed Nov 18, 2009 7:07 pm

I've got to get around at reading these. Your artwork is really drawing (ha) me in, Kaboom. Great job! :wink:
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Postby Maphisto86 » Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:02 am

Big Momma wrote:I've got to get around at reading these. Your artwork is really drawing (ha) me in, Kaboom. Great job! :wink:


Yeah and I especially love the Zunim Force. :lol:
Another excellent chapter! While we all know Slug escapes since your story includes many of the movies including DBZ Movie #4. Still I am glad to see that your original characters are giving him a run for his money. Your idea of linking Slug with the mysterious destruction of Namek and Piccolo's "father", Katatz, is a really great idea. It makes Slug a far more interesting and dynamic character then what we saw in the film (i.e. Piccolo Daimou knockoff).

Thanks Sean for making that other sketch as well. I still didn't quite know what Shio and Thorgas looked like until now. You should post this stuff on your Deviant Art account someday. 8)
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Postby Kaboom » Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:18 am

Maphisto86 wrote:
Big Momma wrote:I've got to get around at reading these. Your artwork is really drawing (ha) me in, Kaboom. Great job! :wink:


Yeah and I especially love the Zunim Force. :lol:


Thanks. I like the outfits and general look for those Saiyans just a TIIINY bit more this time around. XD

Another excellent chapter! While we all know Slug escapes since your story includes many of the movies including DBZ Movie #4. Still I am glad to see that your original characters are giving him a run for his money. Your idea of linking Slug with the mysterious destruction of Namek and Piccolo's "father", Katatz, is a really great idea. It makes Slug a far more interesting and dynamic character then what we saw in the film (i.e. Piccolo Daimou knockoff).


Yeah, the idea for him being involved just kinda "happened" halfway through the planning for this arc... It worked out nicely, I think. Even though at the same time, the idea of him being corrupted over time by the constant alien influence just makes him even MORE of a Piccolo rip-off. >.<;

Plus, there's actually two more "major characters" who're going to have their origins in this arc. I won't spoil who, even though anyone who's read this new chapter may already see 'em coming a mile away.

Thanks Sean for making that other sketch as well. I still didn't quite know what Shio and Thorgas looked like until now. You should post this stuff on your Deviant Art account someday. 8)


You're welcome. I do realize that descriptive narrative isn't really my strong point, and that's one of the reasons why I include these "illustrations." So that hopefully you guys will actually be able to picture these things in your heads the same way I do.

Even still, that's not a very good view of Thorgas... I oughta whip up and post some up-to-date full-body sketches of him and the other elders.

I definitely need to keep more stuff coming in order to prevent this long of a gap again. Even if the chapters themselves are far between, I ought to post more sketches, notes, character profiles, and stuff like that to keep the topic and interest alive.
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Postby caejones » Fri Nov 20, 2009 12:55 pm

I found the fighting impressive, harkening back to both what you've established of your style and stuff in the series, while still being relatively unique... Awexome! XD
Somehow I wasn't as excited as I thought I'd be... but the last couple paragraphs did catch me off guard in a good way, so yay? :D

Somehow it seems like the scope changes out of the blue (ur, green?), though that may just be because I haven't read chapter12 in a while...
And... I think I'll stop now, as any further detail is probably a bit much for the apparent purposes of this thread... XD
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Postby Kaboom » Fri Nov 20, 2009 2:32 pm

Yeah, the flow of the story DID kinda go from "not much happening" to "a lot happening" pretty quickly. I'll consider this "practice" for the Baby arc and more dramatic stuff later.
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Postby Kaboom » Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:10 pm

Okay, as intended, here's some quick sketches, showing the three Namekian elders, so yous guys can properly picture them in your heads to get around my sucky descriptive writing.

Thorgas
Bosa
Katatz & Kuji

Later tonight, I've got something else neat in store that I'm going to post. I'm going to make an effort from this point forward to keep this thread moving and interest up, even if the chapters don't come as often as I'd like. I've certainly got enough stockpiled material, both drawn and written, to keep your ferocious appetites for 'more GTR' sated. I hope.
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Postby Maphisto86 » Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:59 am

SSj Kaboom wrote:Okay, as intended, here's some quick sketches, showing the three Namekian elders, so yous guys can properly picture them in your heads to get around my sucky descriptive writing.

Thorgas
Bosa
Katatz & Kuji

Later tonight, I've got something else neat in store that I'm going to post. I'm going to make an effort from this point forward to keep this thread moving and interest up, even if the chapters don't come as often as I'd like. I've certainly got enough stockpiled material, both drawn and written, to keep your ferocious appetites for 'more GTR' sated. I hope.


Nice character designs. You can definitely see the family resemblance concerning Thorgas's relation to Slug, as well as how Katatz looks somewhat similar to Piccolo Daimou/Kami-sama. Then again, at the risk of sounding racist, Nameks all look alike. :lol: :wink: I also like the clothing choice for them as well. Very much like Toriyama's ideas for the Namekian background characters but each of yours still have a somewhat unique look.

I look forward to any and all additional material in the future. 8)
"I think you're incredibly absurd of a person if you're listening to this show". - VegettoEX ( DaizEX podcast ep.70, 54:36 - 42).
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