DBZ LA Film mention at comedy website...

[desirecampbell]

The new DBZ film was mentioned at Cracked.com, a comedy website who's major draw is Photoshopped dick jokes - and even they think the movie will suck.

DRAGONBALL

Yes, it’s THAT Dragonball. The one you watched in junior high where about nine things happened over the course of 500 episodes, and every enemy had six forms and was named after cooling equipment. And NO, this is not one of the dozen animated movies that got released, or a Japanese import, or a You Tube video with clips inexplicably edited to an Offspring song. This is an honest-to-goodness, white boy-starring, Chow Yun-Fat-featuring American adaptation by 20th Century Fox that will come out in theaters and everything, and it’s written and directed by the man that brought us Final Destination 3, remembered as perhaps the most final of all the Final Destination movies.
Why is it going to suck? Because there’s no way it’s going to be even remotely faithful, and let’s face it: the people who are going to be seeing this movie are primarily fanatical nerds who will shit a brick if Krillin doesn’t have the right number of dots on his forehead. Which, seriously, they better not fuck up or I swear to Piccolo I will blog about nothing else for a week.

To better understand the forces of inevitability we’re dealing with here, let’s examine a parallel scenario: At a certain point in the X-Men comics, Jean Grey becomes Dark Phoenix, flies through a wormhole and dives into a distant star, destroys a galaxy, and ultimately disintegrates herself after a failed psychic battle with Lilandra, empress of the Shi’ar, on the “Blue Area” of the moon. Why did the makers of X3 decide to change that plotline to “Jean gets all pissed off and wrecks shit, but Wolverine kills her so it’s cool?”

Because the other plotline is rambling, grandiose nonsense, perfect for the comics page, but impossible to pull off with any kind of dignity or believability in two short hours. Dragonball Z elevates such awesome nonsense to unthinkable levels, including routine trips to the afterlife, wish-granting intergalactic space dragons, and a hero that occasionally turns into a giant radioactive ape. If the movie is at all faithful, it will be terrible, and if it’s not, it will alienate its core audience.

Frankly, the safe bet is to just make another Pirates of the Caribbean sequel.

Discuss? Nicely?

[Duo]

What I feel is mostly LOL'ing and agreement with said article.

[Mike D]

At a certain point in the X-Men comics, Jean Grey becomes Dark Phoenix, flies through a wormhole and dives into a distant star, destroys a galaxy, and ultimately disintegrates herself after a failed psychic battle with Lilandra, empress of the Shi’ar, on the “Blue Area” of the moon. Why did the makers of X3 decide to change that plotline to “Jean gets all pissed off and wrecks shit, but Wolverine kills her so it’s cool?”

How so true that is. Comic plot lines are always sacrificed to make a "great" movie.

But all in all, these guys hit the nail on the head.

[Kirbopher]

He swears to Piccolo? Uh-oh, we've gotta Satan worshipper here.

[Rocketman]

How so true that is. Comic plot lines are always sacrificed to make a "great" movie.

That's usually because comic plot lines are seriously overwrought and/or dull. Take the Black Suit "story" - in the original comics, Spidey wore the symbiote for a few months, then continued to wear a cloth version of the black suit for four years before Venom's first appearance. The symbiote also didn't affect Peter's mood at all, except for making him more tired as it fed on him.

Compress that to a two-hour movie.

[desirecampbell]

That's usually because comic plot lines are seriously overwrought and/or dull. Take the Black Suit "story" - in the original comics, Spidey wore the symbiote for a few months, then continued to wear a cloth version of the black suit for four years before Venom's first appearance. The symbiote also didn't affect Peter's mood at all, except for making him more tired as it fed on him.

Agreed. That's why I preferred the 90s cartoon version - basically the same as the movie, but not fucking terrible.

[Snail]

Agreed. That's why I preferred the 90s cartoon version - basically the same as the movie, but not fucking terrible.

I criez.

I pretty much EXPECTED them to slap most of the elements from the symbiote arc in the cartoon series, and then make it even more dramatic for the film. Sadly, it failed. However, for all the things that occured in '3' though, it was pretty well done.

Anyways, that was funny stuff

[Rocketman]

Agreed. That's why I preferred the 90s cartoon version - basically the same as the movie, but not fucking terrible.

Well, obviously, but that's just not fair to compare the 90s cartoon to anything.

I liked the movie, though, except for Harry's bad-good-bad-good switching. Though I did like the way it set up the contrast between their first and second fight.

And hey,

[Raki]

Meh,i could care less about the movie.

[DaemonCorps]

What I feel is mostly LOL'ing and agreement with said article.

Same here. While the X-Men example completely went over my head, I could see where the writer's coming from.

If the movie is at all faithful, it will be terrible, and if it’s not, it will alienate its core audience.

Well said.

[veshira]

I love this article. I think I'm gonna print it out and hang it on my wall.

And hey,

Do you think we'll be getting an emo, dancing Goku? (Don't know if that counts as emo, but I know several people have called that particular Peter Parker "Emo Peter Parker", and it amuses me! )

[aegoku]

I love this article. I think I'm gonna print it out and hang it on my wall.

And hey,

Do you think we'll be getting an emo, dancing Goku? (Don't know if that counts as emo, but I know several people have called that particular Peter Parker "Emo Peter Parker", and it amuses me! )

Hmmm...I really hope that there isn't any dancing in this movie. That's essentially the only part that I remember from Spider-man 3, and I don't really think that's a good thing.

[Arcwave]

At least this guy likes DBZ...

[Mike D]

That's usually because comic plot lines are seriously overwrought and/or dull. Take the Black Suit "story" - in the original comics, Spidey wore the symbiote for a few months, then continued to wear a cloth version of the black suit for four years before Venom's first appearance. The symbiote also didn't affect Peter's mood at all, except for making him more tired as it fed on him.

Compress that to a two-hour movie.

You always seem to enlighten me Rocketman, but riddle me this; in what way will the love story in this movie kill it.

That's another thing that I forgot to mention. Comic to big screen movies always over hype the love story which in turn overrides the plot (at least that is what killed spider-man 3 for me and the fellas). This is one of the things that causes riots from fans.

Just kidding. But, it would be kinda funny to watch how Goku gets changed from the naive, woodsman, fighter that we all love (and hate) to a teenage lover boy.

[B-kun]

That reminds me. One thing I hated about Spider-Man 3 was dancing Peter. I know he was supposed to be obnoxious, but what the fuck.

And I loved the X-Men reference. I can't believe I didn't think of it before.

[Victator Supreme]

Urge to kill rising.

[Lavender Saiyan]

Am I the only one who feels mad reading this article? Just the DragonBall trashing making fun of it...It's like, we as the fans are allowed to make fun of the things we love. But when other people who don't understand it do it, it just pisses me the hell off.

[Rocketman]

Do you think we'll be getting an emo, dancing Goku? (Don't know if that counts as emo, but I know several people have called that particular Peter Parker "Emo Peter Parker", and it amuses me! )

He seemed pretty happy with himself, I don't see why people call him emo.

And a dancing Goku would make this the best movie evar.

You always seem to enlighten me Rocketman, but riddle me this; in what way will the love story in this movie kill it.

I'm hoping actually that the love story turns out to be a shortcut. Like it or not, "Goku's girlfriend is in trouble!" will get more of a reaction than "bald short guy is in trouble!"

That's another thing that I forgot to mention. Comic to big screen movies always over hype the love story which in turn overrides the plot (at least that is what killed spider-man 3 for me and the fellas). This is one of the things that causes riots from fans.

I thought it was a pretty good way of showing why Peter would turn to the black suit's power.

[Duo]

Goku danced during the 21'st Tenka'ichi Budokai.

[desirecampbell]

Am I the only one who feels mad reading this article? Just the DragonBall trashing making fun of it...It's like, we as the fans are allowed to make fun of the things we love. But when other people who don't understand it do it, it just pisses me the hell off.

Well, you'll have to accept that Dragon Ball does have a ridiculous and rambling plot.